As a mother…
As a mother of a victim of child abuse today has been exceptionally disturbing. Our situation saw the charges dropped 24 hours before court because my daughter was only three and they thought she was unreliable. Never mind the fact she had to be police interviewed, dragged through counselling sessions and court prepared. The system is a failure…
As a mother of a gorgeous little girl I always joked about my husband lining up at the door with a shotgun when she was older. Now I had the real fear he was going to use one. There was support provided to us as parents but realistically nothing can help you when someone else has taken something so great from your family. The system is a failure…
As a mother who went to court to hear the other charges be read and our offender be sentenced, nothing can be harder. The comments today that it took too long to get to the verdict, imagine sitting there and this was your real situation. Imagine hearing that they have been a good member of society, that they have failing health, that in fact there is some plausible reason for why this occurred. The system is a failure…
As a mother who heard a verdict that was in no way fair, meaningful or even just, today confirmed how unbearable it is. We are told from the beginning that we are brave, that this is what our systems are here for. It’s simply not true. The system is a failure...
As a mother who just recently got the news that their offender will be released early, the system continues to fail. I have had to enact protection orders, to ensure we don’t bump into him somewhere. I question daily why it is my family that is treated like a criminal when he walks around now, identity protected. The system is a failure…
As a mother who has seen her family endure more than should be possible, I take heart in the support of family and friends. I know my daughter is surrounded by people who love her unconditionally, who have helped shape her into an incredible little person who has not let something terrible defeat her. The system is a failure but good people, my family and most importantly my daughter are not.
For more on this topic:
“He was a different boy”. The family of one of George Pell’s victims share their heartbreak.
George Pell is not what a Catholic looks like.
What George Pell’s defenders cannot possibly know about his victim.
The telling words George Pell uttered 16 years ago that shocked members of his own church.
“He was practically shouting.” Exactly how George Pell tried to ‘prove’ his innocence in court.
If you have experienced sexual assault and are in need of support, please call 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732. Help is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can also contact Bravehearts for counselling and support for survivors of sexual abuse on 1800 272 831, Lifeline for 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention, or, if you’re the partner of a person who has experienced sexual assault, you can contact PartnerSPEAK on (03) 9018 7872 for peer support for non-offending partners.
Top Comments
You're right, the justice system is severly lacking when it comes to childhood sexual abuse in Australia. People get more time for white collar crime than child abuse. It's a disgrace. I hope you, your family and daughter heal.
As someone abused as a young child I want you to know things can be ok. I am a grown up functioning normal human with a good life.
My hardest times were when I was a teen/young adult when people carry on about abuse “ruining your life” or if you tell anyone the look on there face and the pity.
These experiences were way more damaging then the actual crime which had faded and been placed on a dusty back shelf in my brain for long ago unpleasant experiences.
My advice is steer clear of pity or overly strong words about the pedophile ( like he should be murdered etc) as it makes you feel that the magnitude of what happened to you so long ago has to “ ruin your life” or “take away your innocence”. It really doesn’t have to be like that.
I worry all this talk and sensationalism over Pell and Jackson is telling abused kids everywhere you are such damaged goods now you life is ruined. This stigma is not ok.
I particularly have a problem with Pell being blamed for the suicide of one of his victims because a) it was an over dose b) we have no idea why he was a drug addict or what else played into his problems. Assuming it was due to abuse is again telling victims this is the rational and normal response to abuse and loads on shame and stigma.
Your daughter can still have a happy normal life. She might have some shame/ questions in her teens so keep it honest and factual and tell her she is loved and not defined by a bad thing someone did a long time ago.
It's actually not "more damaging than the actual crime" for other people. You are you, and other people have different experiences,. You can't talk for the millions of other abuse victims, everyone is different and you are not them. I'm an abuse victim and I'm the opposite. Don't get me wrong, I didn't fall in a heap, but it definitely changed my life for the worse. My life is is/was different from then. And it was never my choice. I still think about it 35 years later.