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The 10 questions you should ask your partner to prove he's not sharing the mental load.

 

If you’re the carrier of the emotional labour in your household you’ll know this feeling well: the twitching of the eye when your partner pipes up with a, “babe, where’s the vacuum cleaner?” when you’ve lived in the same house for years.

The mental load is a special beast, one we’re only really now in 2019 learning how to articulate our feelings about. 

It’s always been there, grinding our gears in the background, while we responsibly recycle the used mayo jar and pop it on the grocery list for tomorrow. While our other halves magically think a new one appears out of nowhere.

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You’ll also, if this is you, be familiar with said other half not realising just how much it is you do to keep the house running in such strict tip-top shape.

So, we’ve created this pop quiz for you to placate any arguments and hair pulling you’re currently being subjected to/subjecting yourself to.

If your partner can answer them all, they’re off the hook. If not, sorry buddy time to pick up the slack and contribute to the mental load.

  1. What size clothes/shoes do the kids wear?
  2. What day is sports day at school?
  3. What temperature do we wash our clothes on?
  4. When is the last time you bought toilet paper/toothpaste/olive oil?
  5. What are we having for dinner this week?
  6. When are the kids’ immunisations due?
  7. When is rent/the mortgage due?
  8. How often should our plants be watered/when was the last time they were watered?
  9. Have you RSVP’d to that wedding/birthday/christening and what gift are we taking?
  10. Where do all the toys that the kids have outgrown end up?

If your partner gets anything less than 10, well, significant other, we’re talking to you through the voice of your beloved right now:

“I’m tired. Just vacuum the floor once in a while.”

“Put things in your calendar when I tell you about them.”

“And please, for the love of god, replace things when we run out of them.”

What questions would you add to our list? Let us know in the comments below.

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Top Comments

JB 5 years ago

The solution is simple (for both men and women). Don't get married. Don't have children.

Guest 5 years ago

So live separate lives altogether? Great plan.

JB 5 years ago

That's right (lol). That way everyone is responsible for cleaning their own mess. You pay your own bills and only pay for what you consume. The division of labour between men and women will even out much more. When the relationship breaks up there are no legal disputes as there is no division of assets. I think if more people live like this then both the women and the men will be much happier with their own sense of autonomy. We might even see fewer instances of domestic abuse as we collectively free ourselves of the shackles of marriage and the traditional family structure. Obviously, this would not work for everyone, but I think that more people should consider it. What do you think? :)


Claire 5 years ago

Am I meant to know what temperature I wash the clothes? I have no freaking idea

random dude au 5 years ago

As long as it's water and has a 100% wetness factor I reckon the author should be fine.

FLYINGDALE FLYER 5 years ago

Works for me