It's no secret that being on dating apps in 2023 is the equivalent to running stark naked through a field of stinging nettles. You feel exposed, everything can hurt, it makes you want to get into the shower immediately and wash off everything you've just experienced.
Without further ado, I present to you, the most unhinged messages and some of my friends and I have ever received on dating apps.
1. A bin fire in 5 movements.
What four-legged creatures smoke?
Does he know what "unicorn" means in the dating world?
Why is he asking to choose between two dogs? What kind of monster does that? You keep both and get rid of the bonkers human who's asking you to choose.
Thoughts and prayers for the "someone" he met on there and gave it a shot with after a day and a half (if they even exist...)
I don't think anyone has been more relieved to be "rejected" than my friend who received that last message.
2. Some high praise.
They hadn't met yet.
3. A romantic first date idea.
You know what's a really fantastic idea for a first date with a man you've never met? Crying on a beach, consoling him about his recent loss.
Again, they had not met.
4. Character building.
This was sent to me, and I hope his story turns out great, it just won't have me in it.
5. Good f**king god.
Honestly, this one needs nothing but the evidence.
6. Oop, thought I'd catch you there!
I like action movies, absolutely devoured The Last of Us, and that last part is none of your goddamn business Tim.
So cheeky! Aha.
7. Andrew Tate vibes.
It's a hard no from me.
8. I hope this man gets help.
In conclusion:
Check on your single girlfriends, we're not okay.
Feature image: Getty/Supplied
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