sex

'I spent two days learning exactly how to get off with a showerhead. Here's what happened.'

When I dreamed of my career as a journalist, I would picture myself in the thick of a press conference, shoving a microphone in a politician's face or asking celebrities what they were wearing on a red carpet, or maybe even getting an exclusive scoop on something massive, something world-changing.

And while that's not exactly what I do day in and day out, I think I may have landed on something even better. 

Because I test sex toys for a living.

As Mamamia's Sex Editor, I often get the exclusive scoop on world-changing toys that are shaking up the wanking scene in a big way. And my latest sexcapade involved a dip in a hot spring, an aphrodisiac-heavy dinner and a lot of time in the shower getting to know myself in a whole new way.

But first, watch this video about the juiciest findings from the Mamamia sex survey. Post continues after video. 


Video via Mamamia

Let me rewind a second so I can give you a little more context.

Womanizer (one of the most popular sex toy brands in the world – particularly with Mamamia readers) has a new sex toy out. Now, this is fairly big news because the brand takes up to eight years to develop, test and perfect a sex toy before they throw it out to the world to enjoy. And the sex toy they have just launched is their most unique yet.

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... And yes, that's because it's – for all intents and purposes – a showerhead.

The thought process behind this fairly domesticated dong is that the sex toy world is chronically underutilising water as a source of pleasure.

Ain't that the truth.

We're quick to grab the lube, massage oil or even a squirt of whipped cream before the thought even crosses our mind to turn on a bloody tap. But the thing is, water feels so good on the skin, has calming benefits and means we feel all squeaky clean before any encounters. In other words, I feel like a right plonk for ignoring it for so long.

But I'm about to seriously make up for lost time, as I've got 48 hours ahead of me where my only task is to reach orgasm with water. 

Back to the dong, because I'm going to have to explain exactly how this thing works before I tell you what I did with it. 

The Womanizer Wave has three very unique functions that have been officially named, but I have taken the liberty of re-christening them with more descriptive labels:

1. The Soak Me Through – a rain setting that tickles you gently.

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2. The Rain Dance – a wavy stream of water that boogies over your body.

2. The Clit Blaster – an intense jet that directly wallops your clitoris. 

On the trip organised by Womanizer, they conveniently fitted the sex toy into the hotel shower and allotted some 'alone time' into the schedule so we could get to know the new dude in their line-up.

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I slipped off my robe, waltzed into the bathroom and stepped into the shower. 

Following recommendations on the box, I switched on the shower and let it all warm up. I'm so glad that I did, because freezing cold jets of pressurised water blasting onto sensitive areas sounds like a mighty turn-off.

Once things were steamy, I jumped under the water stream before lifting the Womanizer Wave off its high holder and ran the 'Soak Me Through' setting over my chest, legs and stomach. It was so gentle it almost felt like a little tickle, which got me excited for setting number two...

I moved the showerhead lower, letting the gentle rain wash over my vulva. It doesn't evoke a big reaction, but more like a warmness that begins there and spreads. It's calming and soothing and before I got too sleepy, I switched to 'Rain Dance' mode.

HELLO. This is a bit of fun!

The water stream crisscrosses over itself on this setting, meaning if you put it in a sensitive spot, it becomes a playful, constant pleasure zone. My recommendation for this setting: Slowly move the stream up and down your vulva, lingering for a little longer on your clit, before moving down again. Why? Well, because this is the most relaxing version of edging I've ever experienced.

Then it was time to level up and get to know the 'Clit Blaster'.

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Good lord. My body was not ready for this level of whoosh.

The jet stream was so intense that it almost felt like it was burning my clit. This may be because I had the shower on a rather hot setting, but the main source of the WOAH was because it's so damn strong. It bumps up the power level by about x4000, and it's so concentrated in a clit-sized stream that all I'm going to say is: proceed with caution. 

Once I got on a first-name basis with the intensity of the 'Clit Blaster', doing a combo deal of a li'l bit of 'Rain Dance' and a li'l bit of 'Clit Blasting' made for a mighty fine meal deal.

Such a fine meal deal, in fact, that after 35 minutes of me, myself and I in the shower with my new little friend, I hit the big O. It wasn't a powerhouse orgasm, but because of taking the time in the build-up, it was one that had a deep, pulsing nature to it (you know the kind), and I felt aftershocks for a long time following.

While I ventured into this session solo, I think that the Womanizer Wave would be a heck of a good sex toy to play around with with a partner – especially if you're keen to experiment with temperature teasing.

After fooling around with myself in a hotel with a showerhead for 48 hours, I am delighted to say that water will definitely be added into my masturbation rotation. 

Image: Supplied + Mamamia.