By SARAH MEGGINSON
When I saw Claire Danes “back at work” (if you can call it that) just a few weeks after giving birth to her little boy, I was judging her a little.
Admittedly, she wasn’t working in any sense that us mere mortals could relate to – she was trotting along red carpets and collecting gold statues for her work on Homeland.
But from what I’ve seen on The Rachel Zoe Project, ‘Awards Season’ in Hollywood is a pretty big deal. There are endless fittings and stylists’ appointments to run between, hair and make-up sessions to sit through, red carpets to walk, photos to pose for, interviews to attend, acceptance speeches to give… All in all, it’s a lot of time and energy focused on something other than your brand new baby.
Honestly, I could imagine nothing worse. A month after I had my baby girl, I was a sore, tender, aching, bleeding (TMI?!), healing pile of hormones, barely capable of full sentences, let alone red carpet appearances in front of global cameras. All I wanted to do was stare at my baby, eat cupcakes and sleep.
Just recently, I was flicking through a magazine and saw a photo of Claire Danes from the Golden Globes a few months ago (looking absolutely bloody spectacular, just five weeks after delivering her baby Cyrus!) and I’m ashamed to admit, I thought a few mean-spirited, judgemental thoughts.
“Why would you bother with the Golden Globes when you have a one-month old baby at home?” I wondered.
“Why didn’t she try to ‘switch off’ from work and focus on her baby for those first few weeks and months?”
And while I sat up there on my high horse, judging Claire for seemingly putting her career ahead of her kid, I pondered my own situation.
That’s when I realised that I actually went back to work a little sooner than Claire… I wrote my first article post-partum when my daughter was just six days old! Pot, meet kettle, you’re in this together…
I’m a freelance writer, so it’s not like I headed back to the office for a full day of brain-weary work, Marissa Mayer style. I only spent 90 minutes at the computer to whip up a column and for that investment of time, I earnt $250.
My newborn was asleep in the next room with my mum and my husband, and I worked in my pyjamas. It was a pretty good set-up and an experience I would definitely replicate again, given half the chance (sadly for me, that column was cancelled a while ago!).
The reality is that for some women, going back to work after having a baby is a fact of life. For some, it’s about maintaining a sense of value and worth that is separate to parenting, and for others, it’s not so much a choice as a financial necessity.
One of my girlfriends has a fantastic corporate career that she loves, but she knows that when the time comes, her workplace will allow her three months maternity leave, tops. Another friend has just reluctantly placed her five-month-old baby into care full-time, so she can return to her job: she’s a mechanic and the role is 8am-4pm, five days, no negotiating.
When I chat with friends about the whole concept of work and parenting and somehow balancing the two, I’m always reminded of how incredibly lucky I am. In my job as a freelance writer, I work flexible hours and spend oodles of time with my daughter – it feels like I get the best of both worlds because I get personal satisfaction and fulfilment from my work, but I also spend a few days a week painting and baking and playing dolls and dinosaurs with my daughter.
here
I’m fortunate to work with loads of different clients on a whole range of writing jobs, from magazine articles and features to business reports and books. But my most exciting project to date is now launching: my first book!!
I’ve been a professional writer and journalist for over a decade, and a full-time freelancer for five years, and through trial and error (and picking up tips from mentors and clients along the way), I’ve developed a bunch of different strategies and systems for managing my career, working from home, growing my business and earning great money by doing what I love.
For the last 12 months, I’ve been busily working with the team at Mamamia to put together a book on this very topic! Created for freelancers and wanna-be freelancers from all walks of life, it’s packed with all of the advice, tips and strategies that I’ve cobbled together over the years. I am beyond excited and can’t wait to share it with everyone!
You can learn more about the book here.
Sarah Megginson is a freelance writer and editor who works from home on the Gold coast. She’s written a complete step-by-step guide on how you can make money by working from home.
If you’re anything like 94% of survey respondents said that they would give up part of their salary if it meant they could work from home, work more flexible hours or even work less hours then check out the book: www.workfromhomestepbystep.com.au.
When did you return to work after having your baby… and when would you have LIKED to return to work?
Top Comments
Mothers who take the time to nuture their babies in the first 2 years of their life by giving up and sacrificing their stimulating careers will find their babies will most likely grow into well adjusted children. Throwing your babies from 6 weeks of age into full day care so you can fulfill your career is selfish on your part as a mother. There are consequences for your actions, sadly you see them as your child grows.
I see a lot more grey areas in this area then you do Natasha. It is hard to be a mum when you are depressed and frustrated and broke. Mothers need to look after their own mental health and their financial health too, in order to be a mother to their children.
That said, I actually don't know anyone that did "throw" their babies into childcare at six weeks. How many mothers do you know that have done that? I've known one that went back when her eldest was three months, but her husband became a stay at home Dad.
@Bec, my sister works as a Director in a daycare centre . Let me assure you there are plenty of little tiny babies in full long term daycare , dropped off at 7am whose mothers are often rushing to collect them at 6pm in their Porche Cayenne or BWM X6.
Well feel free to pay my bills haha. Or would it be better to not feed/clean or clothe my baby ? How selfish of me to want to provide the bare essentials in a world full of taxes and bills maybe I should of gone with an abortion
Wow, how judgmental of you. Not everyone works for a "career". Some of us work to put food on the table and to keep a roof over our kids' heads. I used to be as judgmental and closed minded as you. That's why my older daughter didn't start childcare until she was 18 months and even then, it was only for one day a week. But then I saw how much it benefited her. So at two years I put her in two days a week, and moved her up to three days a week at three years. Had nothing to do with career.
When my younger daughter was born, she started two days a week at 3 months old. Yes, part of it was because I didn't qualify for maternity leave, so with her being born a month prematurely, I was supposed to return to work when she was 10 weeks old (6 weeks after her due date) - I managed to convince my boss to extend that to 14 weeks, but not being paid for that time meant we had to borrow just to survive until I could return to work. I was lucky - my daughter was born just before the baby bonus ran out, but even that only covered a month's pay (because it was a second child and the government didn't care it was my second husband's first child or that my first daughter was born before the baby bonus existed so I never received the large $5000 bonus for either of my children. But having taken a total of 20 weeks off unpaid (total of time off before due to ill health and 14 weeks after), $3000 to make up for 20 weeks off work doesn't go far.
If I had taken more time off, I would have been fired - how do I know? I only lasted four weeks back at work with a baby that was feeding every hour at night and every two hours during the day and with my husband on the verge of being fired for all his time off (thankfully most of it was paid due to him having accumulated personal leave) because of him having to stay home and take care of bub when I was simply exhausted from living on 2-4 hours sleep a day, I decided to take the chance and ask for more unpaid maternity leave - unfortunately I was told that if I wanted more time off, I'd have to resign as I was ineligible for unpaid maternity leave. So quit is what I did.
Unfortunately my husband's income has sadly never been enough to support us on its own. He works hard, but his income is only enough to cover the mortgage on a two bedroom townhouse plus the basic bills. We relied on my income to buy food and pay the massive costs of my medical expenses (I have multiple health problems) and my older daughter's autism therapy costs. I ended up not returning to work until my daughter was 8 months old, but that 9 months I was off work, we ended up running up debts to the tune of what I wasn't earning during that time and it's only now, as my daughter hits 18 months that we've finally nearly paid that off - and only because of a small inheritance from a beloved family member who passed away earlier this year.
So while you're judging those of who put our kids in childcare young... some of us don't have a choice.
And while you're being judgmental, you are also jumping to conclusions. Childcare has benefited both my girls dramatically. As mentioned, my daughter started at 14 weeks - at one day a week and moved up to two days a week at 4 months. Even when I had to quit work, I kept her in childcare two days a week so I could attend medical appointments without her. Tell me... what is better for a child - going to childcare where she had fun and stimulation, or being dragged to medical appointments nearly all day two days a week? When I returned to work at 8 months, she now goes three days a week and you know what? she thrives on it. I wish I could afford to send her a 4th day, but with childcare rebate set up the way it is, we wouldn't get any CCR for a fourth day and we can't afford to pay nearly full fees.
Her going to childcare has nothing to do with my career- except that I basically continue to work despite being unwell simply so she can have the fun of going to childcare three days a week. She absolutely thrives going, and it also means that her and I have more fun on the two days it is the two of us at home.
Children benefit from quality time not quantity time with their parents. There is no harm, and loads of benefits for mums to return to work part time and have their child in care part time even from a young age. And trust me... looking at the kids who start at 1-2 years of age when unpaid maternity leave runs out, it's really hard for them to adjust. Whereas with my daughter starting at 14 weeks, she sees childcare as somewhere safe, where she is comfortable. Yes, she loves coming home at the end of the day and cries if I don't pick her up as soon as I walk in the door, but she also loves going - she loves nothing more in the morning than grabbing her shoes and bag and my car keys and knocking on the front door until we take her.
I feel so fortunate that I was in the position to be able to spend a full year (and some) at home with both my girls. even then i only returned to work 1 day a week).
If mums want and choose to return to work and send their little ones into care then its their call.
It's the mums who have no choice but to send them into care that i feel for as i can imagine it must break their hearts.
Agreed AmyK - it's having that choice that is so important, and not everyone has that opportunity.