As the breastfeeding mother of a toddler, I have encountered my fair share of judgement and criticism.
It would appear that, if you choose to breastfeed your baby past 12 months of age, you are almost guaranteed to come across some kind of negativity.
Upon first becoming pregnant, women usually go through a crash course of unsolicited advice from family, friends and, at times, random strangers. You would think we would become accustomed to it.
And yet I am still taken aback when an ignorant GP or impolite colleague feels entitled to impart negative opinions on breastfeeding a toddler.
I initially set out to write an article on how to handle this kind of criticism. I researched and compiled numerous suggestions on avoiding judgment when breastfeeding a toddler. There were ideas such as ‘respond to specific concerns’ or ‘quote on authority’. Other advice suggested ‘giving breastfeeding a code name so that your toddler wouldn’t talk about it in public’ or ‘breastfeed before you leave the house to avoid unwanted stares.’
But in the end I was uncomfortable endorsing any of these suggestions because, ultimately, I do not believe it is a mother’s responsibility to hide or to justify her decision to breastfeed her child.
Whether you’ve opened a 24-hour milk bar or bottles are your best friend, this episode is all about the battle of the boob. Holly Wainwright and Christie Hayes unpack it in the Year One podcast for new mums:
The one piece of advice I will give on how to handle judgement about breastfeeding a toddler is this:
Remember why you’re breastfeeding your toddler…
Perhaps you are breastfeeding your toddler because of the proven ongoing health benefits such as enhanced nutrition, cognitive development and protection against infectious and chronic diseases.
Perhaps you do it for emotional reasons, because it makes your toddler feel safe, loved and nurtured.
Perhaps you do it simply because it still gives you and your toddler a sense of joy or self-achievement.
Or perhaps you do it because it is bloody well the quickest way to get your little one back to sleep in the middle of night!
Whatever your reasons are, they are valid and valuable. The next time someone gives you unsolicited weaning advice or gives you a dirty look while you are breastfeeding, remind yourself of the personal reasons you are continuing this beautiful breastfeeding journey.
And if all else fails, tell them to f*ck off and mind their own business.
Love, Phoebe
This post originally appeared on It's a Mum Thing. For more from Phoebe, you can follow her on Facebook and Pinterest.
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Top Comments
You are amazing!. You're right, never mind those judgmental eyes. Society's perception about breastfeeding must change when it comes to BFing your toddler. There is nothing wrong with it, you're just concern about their health or whatever reason it is. Just keep in mind that you are a great mother! :)
For medical reasons (which I had and my baby had), I wasn't able to persist BF beyond 12 weeks. At that point, the "fed is best" mantra really came to life. Still, I'd like to put here the recommendations of the World Health Organization:
'Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond.' no need to explain yourself, it;s perfectly normal and acceptable. It's really silly to think society is still having this conversation. I don't ask or judge people for buying their kids hot dogs, soft serve or soft drinks at IKEA, or happy meals at McDonald's. So why is anyone commenting on or judging breastfeeding in the recommended age range? Probably because it involves a breast.