Am I over reacting? Probably, but you’re all fairly accustomed to that by now right?
My sister- in-law related this story to me and it has haunted me ever since.. It is in regards to a “friend” of hers.. (You will come to see why the inverted commas are now around the word FRIEND when before this incident they would not have been required.)
Jill* (my sister-in-law) had a couple of the girls from her Mothers group around to her house last week. Let us call them Mother number 2 and Mother number 3.
As lunch time rolled around it became apparent that there would not be enough food in the house to feed everyone so Jill and Mother number 2 said they’d go and get lunch if the Mother number 3 didn’t mind staying with the kids.
Of course she didn’t mind, so off Jill* and Mother number 2 went.
While they were shopping for cheese rolls, sushi and apple slice unspeakable events were unfolding back at the house.
Jill and Mother number 2 were gone for a total of 30 minutes. In those 30 minutes that Mothers group would be CHANGED FOREVER.. (Forever, forever, forever……… – FYI this is a dramatic echo)
Am I building the suspense enough? I still bet you can’t guess what happened..
Jill and Mother number 2 arrived back at the house to find all three children having a nap.
Well done Mother number 3 they exclaimed! Mother number 2 was especially surprised as her child hadn’t been fed yet and was hard to get to sleep when she hadn’t been fed. No milk = no sleep for Mother number 2’s child.
“I’m surprised you could get Misty* to sleep, she hasn’t been fed yet. I always have to give her a feed before she goes down at lunch time. I don’t know what I’ll do when I stop breastfeeding HER.”
Mother number 3 replied:
“Oh, Timmy* skipped his feed and I had a full boob so I popped Misty on it. She guzzled it down and went straight to sleep!”
OH YES. YES SHE DID. YOU BET YOUR SWEET BIPPY SHE DID!
MOTHER NUMBER 3 BREASTFED MOTHER NUMBER 2’s CHILD!
Let us pause here. This is an act that can NEVER BE UNDONE. Never, ever not once ever can it be undone..
It’s like finding out your flatmate has been cleaning the toilet with your toothbrush. You can’t take back all those times you had the brush in your mouth after it had cleaned the crevices of your toilet.
The image of Mother number 3’s nipple in her child’s mouth can NEVER be erased form Mother number 2’s mind. That milk can never be un-drunk.
Yessssss, I know there were wet nurses back in the day and I know some women today use them but for me it’s JUST NOT RIGHT. I’m not saying you are a bad person if you allow some other woman’s boob to go into your babies mouth for nourishment, I’m just saying don’t ever let it be my baby.
Breastfeeding is an intensely personal thing. It is bonding time, it is boobs and nipples and babies and family and well it’s breastfeeding! Who shoves their tit in a random kid’s mouth without at least asking said kid’s Mother first? (Wow that sentence would be SO wrong if taken out of context.)
Mother number 2 apparently lost her shit.
Mother number 3 was ushered out of the house at a rapid pace. It was excruciatingly awkward and none of the girls have been able to speak since.
I don’t think I would recover from that type of thing either.
Am I being a weirdo? I totally accept it if you think I am.. Perhaps I am not as open minded as I thought I was..
How would you react if this was your child?
*Jill, Misty and Timmy’s names have been changed to protect their dignity and identity.
Em Rusciano appears on Network Ten’s ’7pm Project’ and the Nine Network’s Mornings with Kerri Anne, You should follow her on Twitter here and read her blog here. No really you should
How would you handle it if someone breastfed your child? Would you ever breastfeed someone else’s baby if you could?
Top Comments
I actually had a discussion with one of my best friends about a similar situation. We are both very pro-breastfeeding. We both have kids of similar ages - her 2 kids are 3 months younger than my 2 kids so we both have a almost 2 year old and an almost 4 year old. We were having a playdate/coffee/mummy-sanity-talking-with-another-adult morning and we got to the this topic. We both decided that if there was a stiuation where one kid was hungry and only had access to the other mum's boobs, we wouldn't have a problem with it. Seriously, if it was a choice between feeding a hungry child or letting them scream?? Put a boob in it! It might feel a little weird having an adorable red-headed child on my breast instead of a brown-haired beauty, but they're just boobs doing what boobs are made for - nourishing a child. I also have donated my ample breast milk supply for a premie bub who's mum's milk was struggling to come in. If I've got it spare and someone else needs it, I'm not going to be selfish and keep that liquid gold all to myself. My little one weaned herself at 13months when I went back to work, but I am still a passionate pro-breastfeeding advocate.
I think the main issue I would have with the situation above is that Mum3 didn't have mum2's consent. Other than that, I don't believe feeding a hungry child is a valid reason to be ostracised by the group.
Oh get over it you lot! Its just a part of the human body that serves a function and breast feeding other people's baby's happens in loads of other cultures. I'd be way more annoyed if another parent gave my kid a mars bar rather than breast milk. Sure its a bit awkward but its not a big deal in the slightest. I know plenty of middle class "normal" mum's who've done this. There is a reason to be obsessed with breast milk and its protective factors.