This is not an actual image of Fiona
On a recent work trip I quickly needed to express milk before heading to a meeting. I walked off the plane at Sydney Airport and headed for the closest parent room.
The parent room was in a pretty gross state to say the least, but I was not deterred. I began my search for a power point and ended up crouching on the floor of the open area of the bathroom, to be next to the power point, to express.
Not an optimal situation but I was ok with it. Until I became aware that expressing milk in public is not as socially acceptable as breastfeeding.
People that entered the area were clearly taken aback by what I was doing. I was apologetic (as I don’t like the thought of making anyone uncomfortable) but left with little choice of an alternative. The milk had to come out and I was in a rush and there was literally nowhere else to sit.
But it got me thinking. Surely there are many women that come through this airport every day and need to do exactly this. Couldn’t we do a little better than having to sit on a dirty toilet floor?
And why it is ok to breastfeed your baby in public, but expressing milk is still perceived as a little obscene?
The Australian Government has released the ‘National Breastfeeding Strategy 2010 to 2015’ with the purpose of encouraging more women to feed their babies to 6 months of age and beyond.
The Strategy has merit but unless there is actually some level of government enforcement that sees employers provide breaks to express in the workplace and a location for women to do it, it is pretty useless.
While we would all like to be like Miranda Kerr and have our baby at work with us so that we can breastfeed them on breaks, unfortunately that is completely unworkable for most women that return to work.
I am all for choosing whatever works for each individual when it comes to feeding babies. But if you do want to keep breastfeeding when you return to work it is fraught with logistical and social complications.
Women are already finding it tough enough to go back to the workplace after having a baby because they have to negotiate flexible work arrangements. To be asking their employer to have breaks to express milk as well is for many women a bridge too far.
With my first baby I expressed milk in some pretty weird and wonderful places -the Prime Minster’s bathroom at Parliament House, the Government jet, delegation rooms at the Copenhagen Climate Change Summit. I was able to do that because I was fortunate enough to have a boss that understood and supported the need to take breaks to express milk.
But the reality is that the rate of workplaces in Australia that allow for breastfeeding breaks for their female employees is dismal.
It is pretty obvious that if there were more places to express milk then more women would be able to keep breastfeeding for longer.
While breastfeeding in public is now very commonplace, it feels as though we are a long way from women being able to express milk in public places comfortably and confidently.
The Government would say they have already done so much for women with the introduction of federally funded Paid Parental Leave. Announcing PPL in 2009 was a proud moment for our country, but it does not have anything to do with encouraging women to continue breastfeeding once they are back in the workplace.
If the Australian Government seriously wants to increase the rate of babies that are breastfed to 6 months and beyond then it needs to work with employers to provide facilities and breaks for women that are expressing milk.
I think that would help to make the real difference they are aiming for.
Fiona has been a Labor staffer for the Beattie, Rudd and Gillard Governments. She was Press Secretary to Kevin Rudd for four years. She is 29 and lives in Queensland with her two children.
Have you ever had to express? How have you felt when seeing someone else expressing in public?
Comments
149 Comments so far
The main reason I stopped breastfeeding was my daughter refused to take the breast after having expressed milk from a bottle all day when I went back to work. I pumped and pumped, but struggled with the facilities I had available to me. My profession? I am a geologist and when I am in the field, pumping is not an option. I can hand express, or use a manual pump, but then I am left with breast milk in a hot work ute for up to 12 hours. Eskys and ice just didn’t seem to make much difference. And when you’ve got 3 guys working on a drill rig waiting for you to do your job so they can do theirs, the pressure makes expressing just about impossible (I can’t express unless I am totally relaxed). My supply dropped and dropped until I just gave up. I made it to 13 months but was still disappointed with myself. It is all well and good to have “breastfeeding facilities” when you work in an office, but not entirely possible with a profession like mine
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I can’t believe in this day and age that people are still offended by breastfeeding and pumping in public! I am one of those horribly offensive women who feeds in public and sits there burping her baby with the boob still hanging out
My husband and I had the rare opportunity for a night away in Sydney last weekend, and I took my trusty electric pump with me. I put batteries in it and quite happily sat there pumping at a bar table at a nice fancy pub in Double Bay. No one even blinked an eye at me. And do you know what the bartender said? Once I was finished he asked if I would like him to sterilise the pump in the bar dishwasher 
I was so impressed.
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Has it occured to anyone that maybe people are offended because breasts are sexualised? Not saying I am offended in the slightest, but that is what I gather from it..
Breasts are used in advertising to look sexy and alluring, so when popped out in public to feed a baby, which is what they were designed to do, it is against what we are programmed to accept breasts as, a tool to make us look desirable.
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i expressed once in a toilet at the BDO in sydney. (in a stall) but when i came out and tipped the milk down the sink and washed the pump, you should have seen all the little teeny boppers with their shorty shorts and tank tops and their horrified looks.
Also did it at BDO at goldie, but went to the first aid tent and asked for a discreet spot. the look on the blokes face when I asked was priceless. ended up around the back near a porta loo.
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I have no qualms about expressing ANYWHERE!! Why should I? I need to provide my baby with food. I have just finished exclusively pumping for the last 14 months!
I have done it in parents rooms (disgusting), at the airport (in the cafe – a few times!). In public I wear a breastfeeding cover, but thats not to make other people comfortable I did it for ME! I did it around every single family member – grandparents, mum, dad, brother, sister, cousins, aunties, uncles plus friends – male and female. Around these people I most often didn’t wear my cover, and I double pumped with a handsfree bustier so I could walk around with my portable pump! If people have a problem – its theirs not mine! Too bad!
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I am being totally genuine, sincere, not trying to make a point or put other people down, when I say I really, truly, cannot understand why it would bother anyone to see breastfeeding/breast-pumping. Breast-feeding I’d be surprised if I even noticed, breast-pumping I would probably notice but not, in the least, care. It seems to me the only problem (in public, I know this doesn’t address what you’re saying about the workplace) would be finding a powerpoint next to somewhere to sit. Is it because I have boobs that I’m completely unfussed about seeing them? Maybe for a man it’s different…but it’s not like he couldn’t just look away.
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This post reminded me of when i was expressing at work for my baby daughter (she’s now 21). I had the choice of the toilets (no thanks) or the enclosed “goldfish bowl” which was set aside for the smokers! I tried to time it so that no smokers or men were in there when I needed it. And then I had to store the milk in the communal tea room fridge – didn’t bother me but a few of the men were a bit weirded out by the baby bottles of milk sitting beside the full cream milk for their coffee.
And my daughter who was about three to six months at this stage would not take this expressed milk from a bottle – her dad used to spoon feed it to her (yes those feedtimes did drag on a bit) before getting her to sip from a cup at a very young age.
I was young and innocent (23) and I should have demanded better treatment from my employers. Another issue we faced was that at that time shopping centre change rooms were not really open to men – you normally had to access them through the ladies toilets, so my husband was forced to change her in all sorts of places includng the floor of myer at because he didn’t want to take her into the mens loo.
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Hmmm….while i think there needs to be parents rooms in all public venues, i kinda dont think its cool to pump in public…honestly i even feel uncomfortable when seeing some other woman breastfeeding in public, like the ones that burp their babies and let the boob just hang there with out any regard to anyone around them! and so do a lot of other people. I know i know, its all natural blah blah, at least breastfeeding in public is not exposing breasts to the world as much as pumping. It is not as subtle as breastfeeding at all. I agree there needs to be areas in parents rooms with a comfy chair and table for pumping, but i really dont wanna see it when i walk out of coles with my husband!
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Ya gotta do what ya gotta do!
It wouldn’t surprise me that parents’ rooms are disgusting if a lot of bathrooms are anything to judge by. Even some department stores are messy because the boss doesn’t want to put on extra staff to tidy up so there probably needs to be a responsibility to tidy up these facilities if shopping centres, airports etc want to provide them.
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Hmmm…. while I have no qualms whatsoever about breastfeeding in public, it seems to me that there is more potential for visible skin / breast when expressing, so I have generally gone to some care to find a private room to express in – women’s room at uni, even a locked lab at school when I was on prac as a trainee science teacher! Sounds like this aspect is easier if you use a handpump, as there’s no need to be near a power point / have batteries. Back when my baby (now toddler) was younger, expressing was relatively easy, especially if it was in lieu of a feed, rather than trying to make up a bottle for a one-off night out or something. Hand pumps can be useful, even for daily use, in this case.
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Years go, I sat in a lovely locked breastfeeding room in Sunshine Plaza parent room – also in between meetings – and proceeded to unpack my breast pump in readiness for a much-needed expressing session.
You know how there are so many bits and pieces and you have them packed just so to fit in the carry case? I had all the pieces lying around when I realised had no batteries. So rewind, I put them all back in their spots and closed the case, put it down, and pulled out something to eat and sat munching.
Next thing you know, there’s a knock at the door and I am being asked to please open up. Two security guards were standing there (one was a woman, I imagine the blokes were panicking about this mission and needed some chick support).
“Excuse me ma’am, but what are you doing?”
“?What am I doing?” (I was actually a bit nervous by this stage) Explanation followed. Bemused understanding on security’s part. I am alone again.
I sat down and realised that I HAD BEEN BEING WATCHED IN THE BREASTFEEDING ROOM and security had clearly wondered if I was unpacking and setting up some kind of device and popping it down on the floor beside me, having some lunch while I awaited its detonation.
I left Sunshine Plaza quickly after that, constantly looking behind me, with my mind tortured by the memory of that man who was followed to work after the London bombings, before being shot in the back.
Post script – at work I had managed to answer the phone whilst keeping two working and attached pumps in place with the other arm. I had a toaster stack of files on my desk which was perfectly positioned to shield the glory of it all from my colleague sitting opposite.
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Heck I was slightly embarrassed to express in front of my hubby to begin with! Especially once both breasts were being pumped! Can’t think of anything worse that expressing in public.
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Expressing is easy with an electric pump but you do sit there feeling like a cow, my boys laugh their heads off!!! Even my husband comes in giggling!!!
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I hated expressing, especially around family members ( my teenage brother in law) awkward. But my most memorable was mh first night away from my baby. Had a country wedding and in between the reception I was expressing in the car in a paddock with cows around me! Really felt like a cow, lol
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i would love people’s opinions on my conundrum
my eight and a half month old son WON’T take a bottle. i’ve brought every teat and bottle under the sun and he wont touch em.. whether its expressed breast milk or even just water!
im going back to work part-time soon… he will be 10 months old.
i just don’t know what to do?? im getting very stressed about how to manage the situation??
i would like to know what do people think of this solution?
i breastfeed him in the morning before work… then my partner brings him in to my work (they are super cool) for a late morning/early lunch feed… we TRY and drop the afternoon feed… and then he gets another breast feed when I get home at like 5.30/6.00pm
do people think that will work??? and that i dont need to stress about not taking a bottle?? that 3 feeds… early morning/lunchtime/ and then evening feed will be enough?
thanks so much for any feedback
xx
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This is a tricky one! I don’t really like to give advice to other mums as I think it is sometimes just too much. I can share what I did with both my babies and you can take what you like from it.
Neither of them would take a bottle regardless of the fluid that filled it – breast milk, water or formula. When the first one was about 8months old, I had to leave her for a day while I had doctors appointments. I used a cup. One of the little tommee tippee ones with the flip up plastic sucking mechanisms. The sucking motion is different, it kind of just flows out without them having to suck so she got the taste of the milk without having to work for it. I was able to get her to take small amounts at first but then as she got used to it, she could have whole feeds from a cup.
My second daughter was more determined not to take anything but the breast however we persisted and she drank from a cup (held and assisted by daddy) without a lid. She wouldn’t take even the sipper cup but would drink from it without the lid. It took much more work for her dad but she too would get her milk and I could leave without the distress of worrying about her missing her feeds. I breastfed her until she was 19 months old and I don’t think I could have gone that long without being able to find a solution to having the occasional outings.
I am about to have bubba number three, who knows what this one will do!
Good luck, I really hope you find something that works for your family. xx
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My nephews went straight to sippy cups, and my sister reckons that may well be the case with my daughter too.
I went to the Family Care cottage today for some advice on sleeping and feeding, and the nurse there suggested breastfeeding her in our room in the dark, then when’s she’s nice and relaxed, slip the boob out and the bottle in and see if you can get her to keep going on the expressed breast milk in the bottle. I much prefer this suggestion than leaving her with Mum and a bottle and waiting till she cracks because she’s hungry enough – that’d be horrible for everyone!
As you can see below, I have the same trouble – won’t take a dummy or bottle! I actually think it’s a blessing in disguise, but geez it’s hard work. Especially when my cousin’s 3 day old was loving his dummy and is bottle feeding like a champ already!
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I know your pain, my life also didnt go to plan with breat feeding. So I really don’t have the answers just what I had to do that was right for our family.
my first son was not too keen on breast milk and couldn’t wait to get the bottle. Anyway my second son wouldn’t take a bottle either he was so determined to have only the breast. Unless you have been there no one understands, they are like just give him a bottle if he is hungry he will take it. And he was a bit older than your Baby now but he was on he was on solids. So when i went back to work he went to day care and they reassured me he will befine they had dealt with this before.
So he was in daycare 2 days a week and it was a horrible, I feed him just before I left andthen when I picked him up. But I could see he’d been crying, his eyes were really red, they keep saying he is doing ok he gets a bit sad but keep going he will get used to it. He would scream and cry when I left. I felt terrible but I thought he must calm down after I leave. I had this gut feeling that something was wrong. So was he taking the bottle? They never said, he seemed to eat a lot. So don’t worry
One of the carers seen me shopping with my son ‘ oh he’s the baby the cries all day’ and I
am like what they said he was doing ok, and she was like oh no he is so upset most of the
day especially around feed times.
So it wasn’t working, I couldn’t think of sending him off all day knowing he wanted to still be breast feed. I thought he was ‘old’ enough not to have the breast and I thought i should of been strong make him be weaned off me, but it’s something I had no control over. I took him out the next week. I had to change my hours to suit me and my husband brought him
in for his feeds or he feed. So basically he went on to feed to he was 2 1/2, it’s crazy but as you can see he wouldnt give it up.
So I decided what was best for my baby, I had to change my life for his needs and I never looked back. We have always had this strong bond I should of listened to my gut not what
people telling me what I should do. And there were so many comments made about our situation.
I am starting now with my third to take the bottle but no luck so far lol!!!!
It’s something you cant plan it just happens.
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thanks so much for sharing your story. oh my god how sad!! how old was your son when this happened… god I’m a bit worried my son will be the same…
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He would of been almost 1, or close to it so you can understand I thought this shouldn’t be an issue, he is old enough for a sippy cup and solids, but it was the breast he wanted during the day. I started from around 3 months on a bottle while I expressed, but no not then, not at 6 months, he thru sippy cups!!!!! I think the daycare was really trying hard and sounded like he would take it some what, but the fact he was so up set not to be
breast feed during the day was upsetting to me. I didn’t have anyone to look after him during the week so no one could just drop him in for a feed. I mentioned I could go to him but to re settle him again would of made it even harder.
We tried for 3 months, or I tried to ‘toughen up’ and when I heard he was the ‘crying’ baby that was it for me. So this is why it’s a personal decision. People say the cruelest things like you should just be able to just make them stop when they clearly don’t want to.
As you can see most babies will take something else, but head was so determine to keep breast feeding! and as you know unless you have been there knowing your baby isn’t going to take anything else.
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Try a sippy cup – 10 months olds don’t need a bottle. You should be able to drop a feed also – my baby has one in the morning before work, one at lunch and one after work (then a few more in the evening). She is 11 months old – she doesn’t always want the lunch time one now that often either. She never took a bottle either and I was back at work at 5 months – I just fed her myself at lunch (and in the afternoon at first as well).
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Hi express dilemma,
Has it been yourself or your partner attempting to give him the bottle? I had exactly the same challenges with my first baby, even the experts at Karitane weren’t able to help (we were there for a week for some sleep related issues). I got very worked up about it and when I returned to work, my daughter didn’t take the bottle for a few days, but eventually she figured out that it was really her only option and she started accepting it. I’ve also heard from other mums that often they will go out and someone else gives the baby the bottle, this can work because he doesn’t associate them (like he does with you) with breastfeeding.
Good luck!
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I know it is a bit late but I wanted to let you know what we did with our 4 kids, they all had different issues….the most effected we found was start on the breast for a minute take them off and pop the bottle in his mouth the other option is to get someone else to feed him the bottle and you go out of sight, if you are holding him he can smell your breasts so he will want them and at 10 months he recognises that you are the feeder…..occasionally we would put a bit of jam on the teat which works really well……..hope this helps all the best….
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My daughter was just like that. wouldn’t go near a bottle.
What I did was go straight from the breast to the cup. By a year she was managing the cup herself. Easy, simple and you never end up washing bottles.
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Hi, I can only suggest trying Pigeon wide-necked bottle & teat. It ended up being the only kind that worked for me & the fantastic baby whispering midwife had said it was the one that most closely mimicked sucking from a real nipple.
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Just another thing to clarify – who’s offering the bottle? Some babies will not take a bottle from Mum – they know you can offer the breast as an easy alternative. However, they’ll take the bottle from Dad / other well-known carers (grandparents / family day care, etc.) If you’re the only one who’s tried, try a small outing – say 20-30 mins around feeding time – leaving Dad or someone else with a bottle, to have a go when bub knows Mum’s not around, so breast isn’t an option. Worst case? Bub will survive just fine, albeit with some crying, you can feed him when you walk in the door. Use a mobile for extra peace of mind. Hope it all works out!
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Well done Fiona, keep going! I’ve had to finish breastfeeding my 6 month old, but I still find that even breastfeeding in public gets looks. And on parents rooms – why are so many of them so dirty and badly designed? To be honest, I have preferred many times to breastfeed in a cafe or food court in a shopping centre than a parents room when they are so filthy or difficult to use. You would think that a shopping centre, which relies on a large proportion of its customers as mothers, would plan things better!
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I was feeding in a food court (it only has about 20 tables) a few weeks ago, in full view. There was another mum breastfeeding under one of those cover things. I was sitting there thinking “yay me, how much do I rock feeding like this?”. Then I look over, and the mum who’d had her kid and boob covered for the kid’s feed was changing the kid on the table!! Strange. My pram is great, I can actually change Katharine in it. But if that was a bit awkward, I’d walk the 40 metres to the (very nice) parents room!
We actually have pretty nice ones around down here. I sometimes take Katharine in to feed her if I need to go to the loo or if she needs to sleep, so she doesn’t get distracted too much. I was in one yesterday though, it was bloody freezing!!! Nice otherwise though.
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I feed anywhere (except a toilet) but the idea of changing a baby where other people eat grosses me out.
I change baby in the pram if there’s no parents room, too.
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Hear hear!
I’m pretty sure no-one can argue against more support for mums and babies, and certainly this is one area (of several) with some room for improvement.
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Peru is by no means a forward country, but they give new mums that are back at work a year of 1 hour expressing time throughout the day.
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Last night on the bus home the lady sitting opposite me was expressing milk.
I was a bit weirded out to say the least.
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With my first two babies I was fortunate enough to have the first 6 months, at least, off. I will also have significant time off with my next baby. While I know how incredibly fortunate I am, I know it’s not the lot of most mums.
I’m also really lucky that in Qld government there are provisions for breastfeeding rooms and breaks built into our IR act. So, I wouldn’t have a problem if I did/had to return to work early.
This needs to be enshrined in law for everyone, but then I would be worried about smaller businesses being more inclined to find excuses to sack pregnant women….
With my first round of pregnancies you could only really afford a manual pump – electric ones had to be hired at great cost. I won’t be buying one till I see how bubby goes on the breast. Not all kids get the hang of it.
I think the thing causing the looks would be the weird way your boob looks when it’s in that trumpet – it’s hard not to react when you’re not expecting something.
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Before i had my first baby i always said id try to breastfeed for 6months then id be done. of course i was completely unprepared for the reality, my baby is now 7 months old and neither of us are anywhere near ready to give it up yet.
i have a manual pump and altho initially (once i got the hang of it) i could pump quite alot quite quickly, with the introduction of solid foods and my boobs now making less milk i really struggle to express anything more than a dribble at a time now. even when the milk is there i struggle to express it now.
and it is weird, i will breastfeed anywhere but when i express the only person il really do it infront of is my hubby, i think its just cos i really do feel like a dairy cow when im doing it, i go all shy about it. but i would have absolutely no problems seeing someone else expressing.
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See the problem is, everyone wants us to breastfeed, but they want the breastmilk our babies drink to come straight from our breasts.
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I was slightly surprised by this post. Personally I’ve expressed in assorted parent rooms throughout Melbourne and Qld (not to mention Japan and Dubai) and have never had any comment. Maybe hand expressing is less confronting? Or maybe the people who boggled at your machinery were just stunned at the high tech version you employed! Maybe they were looking stunned because they’d never seen such an awesome piece of machinery!
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I was so blessed to be allowed back at work at very few part-time hours. On top of that I had to express once per day. I asked if my supervisor could suggest somewhere good, and soon after the Mayor’s lounge was offered (I work at the local council)!!! I did enjoy my moments there, however, the room was usually locked, and only one person had the key, and I didn’t want to take time away from work looking for the key on top of pumping (manually), so often I ended up in the disabled toilet instead… not as glamourous. I managed to feed until my girl was 13 months, although I think I only expressed for a couple of months after going back to work. Not much to pump and baby girl didn’t care too much for bottled milk…
I’m pretty sure workplaces have to offer somewhere to express for mums returning to work?
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Great to read all these comments about women breastfeeding and expressing, I think its great. Expressing isn’t fun and I wasn’t able to get much when I did, but I breastfed my girls just past 12 months after returning to work at 7 months and 9 months. Well done to everyone who kept at it. I agree we need much cleaner and improved parents rooms and policies to compliment Govt strategies.
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Great topic, and one that doesn’t usually get much coverage in discussion about breastfeeding. I managed to breastfeed both my kids, the first one until 18mth and the second to 12mths while working part time. I was fortunate enough that childcare was 5 minutes away and I could go in at lunchtime while they were young to feed them, especially since the younger one did not take bottles. Even so, I’ve done my fair share of expressing both at work and some other odd places and I would agree with some of the comments made that it is not always well recieved. However, its all worth it in the end. I’m lucky that I have an understanding workplace and also there is a “kids room” with comfy couch and no windows..
It would be nice to see better facilities at airports etc.
Given that the author is a frequent flyer – no affiliation with any of the airline lounges? Usually they have clean suitable shower areas etc where expressing can be done in relative comfort.
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I expressed every single feed for two months when my baby was born premmie. I only ever expressed in the little room off the NICU purpose built for expressing mums. It was like a cow shed – I really, really hated it. Especially because my milk supply was abysmal and I would watch these ladies fill bottles and bottles and feebly take out my 15ml. It was a horrible time for me. None of those NICU memories are very good but if I look at what I have now – every squeeze was worthwhile
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My son was also born Premmie and was in nicu for 30 weeks! I expressed for 6 months till I fell Pregnant again and stopped as I was exhausted!! I too hated expressing in the little room as my milk supply was not as impressive as most of the other mums
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I hate expressing too. I’ll breastfeed anywhere, and have had nothing but positive comments doing it for four and a half months, but expressing? I close the window and hate even Mum seeing me do it. Even Katharine looks at me funny! She still won’t take a bottle though, so I haven’t bothered for a few weeks.
Just a thought – so many are talking about having to plug pumps in – why aren’t you doing it manually if you’re out? Would make it easier, surely? I’ve checked out hiring electric pumps, and they all require you to buy your own manual pump – why not just do the manual one for that one or two that you can’t do hooked up at home?
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once you’ve had an electric pump, you can’t go back. so much easier, so much more milk
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Yeah I get that, it’s part of why I hate pumping, but surely you can cop it for an occasional pump?
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I never got anything wit the manual…I needed the horsepower lol.
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I’m seriously thinking about joining the next Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation. Do you think manual pumping would count as part of the exercises???
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Absolutely – those biceps really get a workout. I love reading and I loved the freedom to read that an electric breast pump gave me. One hand free to turn the pages.
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Some people buy electric pumps – not hire them. They might not want to have to buy a manual one as well.
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When I went back to work casually when my first child was 4 months old the only place to express was in the ladies toillet. I worked in a major hospital that was predominantly staffed by women and there were no facilities to express, feed my baby or a baby change room. She is now 19 and I don’t think things have improved much since then !
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I worked at Sydney Domestic Airport (Qantas) and was appalled at the state of the parents room. I am a preschool teacher when I’m not studying and working at the airport and felt so much disgust in the unhygienic, unwelcoming area for the families who use them.
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For those of us who return to work and have overseas business travel, you can express all you want/NEED to while away, but you aren’t allowed to bring your precious breast milk back into Australia – it has to be thrown out like the banana you never finished on the plane as it is treated just like food. Apparently there is some formal process you can go through to get pre-clearance (this is 2nd hand info) but it’s so cumbersome that only female breastfeeding flight attendants bother. I’m fortunate in that my company is very accommodating in terms of flexible work arrangements as well as pumping at work – and their US office is as well, as I’ll be going there in a few weeks and have confirmed there is a room I can use with a refrigerator etc…but I’ll be pumping and dumping because I can’t bring the milk back with me.
The problem isn’t isolated to international travel, my sister (an American living in America) traveled for work within America and she wasn’t allowed to bring her expressed milk through security because 1 – she didn’t have her baby with her (duh…if she did, no need to express) and 2 – the quantity exceeded the permitted liquid allowance (all the more reason why it was so upsetting to be told she had to toss it). She told me she actually smuggled it! She turned around, went to the bathroom and stashed it on her body and went to a different security line (this was post-ban on liquids and pre-more sophisticated scanning equipment). I shudder to think what would have happened had she got caught and am angry that there are not provisions for this.
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Hi. I’m sorry to hear that was your experience. I travelled from USA to Australia with 5L of frozen breast milk on dry ice in my hand luggage and fully declared it. Quarantine had no problem with it at all. No dramas with security at either end. I’m not quite sure of the basis for thinking it is banned?
The dry ice was a bit more of a problem – I had to have under 1kg (I think) for it not to be considered a dangerous good. The esky couldn’t be sealed as there had to be somewhere to release the pressure from the gas.
I’d be really interested to understand who has told you it is banned, as it sounds like so serious advocacy is needed if that is the case.
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Expressed at the office yesterday – I’m embarrassed by the squeeky sound of my manual (ughh) pump. I have to use a small conference room but at least it is not the toilets. I freak people out when I wash my pump in the communal kitchen though. Trying to make it to at least 5 months before it all gets too hard.
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I agree there is such a lack of opportunity for expressing breastmilk outside of the home, let alone the social backlash toward it. Parent rooms should be an obvious place to support it, but given many of them are not kept very clean it is quite off putting for a mum to do it there. Not sure what the solution is, but supporting mums to breastfeed for longer would absolutely be more possible with options for expressing outside of the home.
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I work as an RN for qld health, so we’re lucky to have designated expressing breaks and I will sit with friends while they express and have my tea break and a chat
One friend says I help her relax with a gossip and so Bubby gets more milk!
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My sister was expressing for twins, and was telling me she had a whole conversation with both boobs going, the bloke she was talking to didn’t even realise!
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I read this, and thought she was talking to her actual boobs.
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I will firstly confess that I had a giggle at your story – not a mean giggle – because I can imagine so many women I know doing this. Hell I can imagine myself doing this. Being caught between the conviction that breastfeeding is what I would like to do and the desire and lets face it need to continue working in my totally un-Miranda Kerr-like workplace. From what I have seen when I’ve been with friends, parents’ rooms are a joke, as are most public bathrooms for that matter. I definitely support any move that empowers mothers to breastfeed or express when they are not at home; it would be great to know that when I have children of my own I’ll be able to leave the house without worrying that I’ll be leaking through my blouse in the afternoon meeting or while window shopping on the high street…
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I think the problem with most parent rooms is that they are designed with no input from feeding mothers. Most of them seem to have something that I would change – absurd chairs, TV’s that are too loud and distracting, nowhere near big enough and too smelly! It’s a sad state of affairs when you have to pump sitting on the floor, but perhaps the looks of disgrace were more looks of pity? I think we can often be paranoid when feeding/expressing in public that people are looking at us degradingly. But sometimes I think the message can be misread. I’ve taken the few wonderful comments that I have been given over time to mean that EVERYONE that sees me feeding in public is happy about the situation, rather than the few disproving stares leaving me to feel that EVERYONE disapproves if you know what I mean?
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I had to express 9 yrs ago when my first child was born I returned to work and got a lot of dirty looks from other people using the parents room. With not much alternative I chose to ignore the looks but it makes you feel very uncomfortable. Especially when cubicles with doors are taken and you have to carry out the task in full view of everyone. We should be less critical of other peoples situations.
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I think that parents rooms in general should be alot cleaner and better set up……some are really great but most seem to be in a forgotten corner in the back of a shopping centre. After all, how many shoppers are mothers with babies and small children?
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I had to return to work when my eldest was 4 months old as I was in the middle of my training program to become a GP. As part of my training, I had to attend educational training days where I had to express in the toilets. That was 7 years ago. I felt awful doing this and was slightly annoyed at the hypocrisy of the situation as I new that breastfeeding was best for my baby but my job did nothing to support me in this situation. However, nothing was going to stop me from doing was I thought was the best for my baby. I hope that one day all work environments can help working mums to access to something more that the toilet to breastfeed and/or express.
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I haven’t had children but hope to one day and I must admit it amazes me that women would want to go back to work whilst they are still breastfeeding at all unless for financial reasons they were in such a dire situation that they had no other choice. I couldn’t think of anything worse than being in a situation like the author’s described, nor would I want to make life so complicated for myself. I am a massive supporter of breastfeeding but I am quite traditional in that I want to be at home with my babe, to be on call for their needs and for my own sanity if I ever do it.
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In saying what I have above though I do strongly agree that all women who are breastfeeding deserve access to clean and appropriate facilities, to express or feed.
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Breastfeeding experts recommend breastfeeding for quite a lengthy period. Many women would want to breastfeed beyond, say, 3 or 6 months, but have financial obligations and have to return to work. Ideally, they should be able to do that and continue to breastfeed (even though it’s bloody hard and exhausting).
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And some of us actually want to return to work – financial obligations aside. I have to say, the comment that women who are breastfeeding should not work unless they have dire financial circumstances is ridiculous. There are LOTS of reasons for going back to work – like, it makes me happy to work and to interact with adults…which makes me a much happier mother and much more engaged when I am home with my baby. Life is complicated and what each individual wants out of life is complicated – so what – that’s what makes it interesting…
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But its only for 6 months or so of your life….
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no it’s not. my baby is 8 months old and I am still breastfeeding (and only just returned to work part time – ramping up to full time in a few months…with the luxury of working from home 3 out of 5 days) and have no plans to stop any time soon – where do you get the idea that breastfeeding ends after 6 months?
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PS – the world health org recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years. I don’t think I’ll make 2 years, but my goal is at least a year and I admire women who can do it longer – 6 months? I have to ask, how much do you know about this topic?
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go you! i returned to work when my daughter was 5 months old, and kept breastfeeding her til she voluntarily gave up at 22 months. i’m so damn proud of it that i’m bragging here to strangers.
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I breastfed my 1st baby til he was 12 months thanks very much – and no 2 is 8 months & going strong. I have the luxury of staying home with them and still having a good life & not having the desire or the need to rush off back to work and pay some other random person to look after my babies in the most delicate years of their lives. I say 6 months because it seems to be the longest a lot of women try and stick it out for. 6 months or 2 years – in the grand scheme of life its not a long time!
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In the scheme of a career that you enjoy, that’s a very, very long time. Nice for you, anonymous (the 2nd), that you have the choices available and were able to choose what made you happy – why shouldn’t that be true for everyone? I have a wonderful women looking after my baby while I work – I would not call her “random” or my decision to hire her “random” at all.
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Hey Anon, you said you have the luxury yourself. How about backing off judging others who don’t choose to stay at home like you have or can’t? Like I said before, don’t judge if you don’t know the whole story.
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Whoa there, judgey mcjudge!
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Wow, I found that comment from Anonymous quite appalling – some of us don’t have a choice but to get back to work after the government paid maternity leave runs out – you’re very lucky that you do have what you call “the luxury” (and let me tell you, yes, it bloody well is a luxury) of not having to rush back to work. Maybe try walking in someone else’s shoes before you judge and make comments like that.
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Did someone say people shouldn’t go back to work whilst still breastfeeding?
Scarlett just expressed amazement. Don’t feel defensive.
It’s your choice. It’s all good.
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To all you hyper defensive women particularly you jb expat I was not judging anyone who choose to go to work whilst they are still bf, the expression I used was “amazed”, in that I was simply commenting that it sounds like a very difficult task to work and bf at the same time. I was also defending women who didn’t have a choice but to do both because of financial reasons. Get off your high horse.
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I’m the opposite to a lot of the commenters here – I have tried expressing but my daughter won’t take a bottle!
People go back to paid work outside the home for lots of reasons. I have tried getting my daughter to take my expressed milk from a bottle so that I can put her in occasional day care or leave her with my Mum and know she’ll be able to settle or be fed if she needs to be.
I had depression before I was pregnant, and am super vigilant about warding it off now. Part of that is being active and having me-time. Currently the only alone time I get is when she’s asleep, because she’ll only feed with me.
Scarlett and Anonymous, don’t judge people when you don’t know why they’re doing what they’re doing. One of the girls from my Mother’s group was expressing then dumping the milk because she had to take anti-biotics that couldn’t go through to bubs. You just don’t know why people are doing it, so don’t judge them.
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Took us 3 months (months 5,6,7) to get our baby to take a bottle (he took one early as he was premie and we needed to supplement then we stopped for a while because I was paranoid about nipple confusion) – I threw out so much breast milk. Finally, after trying for months – initially for the same reason (a bit of freedom for me – for 7+ months I couldn’t leave him for more than 3 hours at a time) and then for necessity (returning to work a few days a week) – he finally has and happily. I could not tell you why he changed – we just kept exposing him to the bottle when he was relaxed and hungry but not too hungry, and one day he sucked on it a bit and then a bit more and a bit more. Now it’s no big deal. This is all very recent and I am still amazed that this little person has such a mind of his own. Good luck – it’s not easy!
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Part of the hassle I have is that I only really have Mum as the other person to try giving her a bottle, and she doesn’t get home until the witching hour. I really have to get it together to try over the weekends.
Seeing the Early Childhood nurse tomorrow – she may be able to shed some light on what to do – she won’t take a dummy either – not even these funky teething ones I found (a “gummy”) that go along the front of your mouth to bite on when teeth are coming through.
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Oh, and we’re 4 1/2 months now, maybe she’ll get it soon. Hope so!
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I wasn’t judging anyone, it appears that you are judging me for saying that if I had children and that if I could afford to and expressed a desire not to [for whatever reason] that I would likely choose not to work whilst I am bf them. If you feel that somehow by me stating my choices that it I am judging you or the choices you have made then I’d suggest you look within yourself.
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I’d say what probably got most reaction is this bit:
unless for financial reasons they were in such a dire situation that they had no other choice
We’re just explaining that there are other reasons for needing to express than going to paid work outside the home because of dire financial need. Being home with a baby isn’t always that fun or interesting. You need to get out and get away for yourself. Whether that’s going back to work on your career or just getting into a pool and staring at a black line for a couple of km, they’re valid reasons.
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Wait until you have one and then see how you feel.
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I returned to work when both my children were 5 months old and expressed for a number of months with both. Luckily I work at a hospital which is reasonably lactation friendly and could go to the “parenting room” to express twice a day. The only downfall for everyone else was that the room was only accessible by one person at a time, so the poor parent needing to change a nappy had to wait until I was done with my 30 minute express!! Likewise, I had to wait until someone else was finished and this could be rather uncomfortable!! Some how we survived it all!
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My mum went back to work part time when I was 2 weeks old. She lasted 3 months with my older brother. She fed me on her breaks or expressed when she couldn’t get to me. It’s lucky she worked at the hospital and was a former midwife, so she’d just duck down to the maternity ward and sort herself out.
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V common for mums to return to work after only 2 – 3 months here in Sing and they are really well set up for it. Most mother/baby rooms here have curtained off sections for discreet pumping/feeding. It’s heaving in there at lunchtimes with all the ladies coming in with their pumpin gear back packs. Awesome.
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I worked at Williams the Shoemen after having my first baby 7 years ago. In the interview I informed the manager I was still breastfeeding she explained that was quite alright and actually the company had a policy regarding lactation breaks.
If I worked on the weekend my husband would even bring in my daughter at the end of my shift so I could breastfeed. The rest of the staff were incredibly supportive and enjoyed the visits from my hubby and daughter. I had a clean and tidy place (the Westfield parent’s room) to express or feed and it was relaxed and really great for me and my baby.
I agree that there needs to be guidelines for acceptable and clean places to express milk. Sometimes there isn’t much privacy and people who walk in give you some funny looks, but you do what you have to and if people have a problem, well, it’s their problem not mine.
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great post fiona!
i had major issues with expressing at home in front of ANYONE let alone in public. i think it is because i felt like a dairy cow and when your body image is pretty low with a new born you also don’t need to feel like a cow.
this is something we really need to work on. maybe a campaign where parenting rooms are outed as being unhygienic or non-existent. if everyone that used the facilities complained then some change might occur, al least in shopping centres. workplaces is different but surely something can be done.
a facebook page that outs dodgy parenting rooms maybe?
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Well that page would be really busy wouldn’t it! There’s almost too many dodgy parenting rooms to count. At least we have them now I suppose. They were only getting off the ground when my oldest was a baby 24 years ago.
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good point faybian, at least things have got better, we just have to keep moving in the right direction!
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Yes, I too felt like a cow. It didn’t help that my husband called me NaMoo!
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if you start it, i’ll like it
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I went back to work when my little girl was 7 months old, just 2 days a week though but had to keep expressing around 3 times a day. I asked my HR GM for expressing breaks and he said no worries. My workplace has a sick room which has complete privacy along with a fridge. I guess I was l lucky but that is how it should be everyone. I continued expressing for a few months after but it can be a pain tranporting all the equipment and milk on a 1 hour each way train trip.
Oh man the first time I had a night away from my daughter was a nightmare!!! She was around 6 months old. I stupidly forgot my pump and my body was used to producing a stack of milk through the night as she was very unsettled. I am terrible at expressing by hand and had to keep trying to release a bit of milk by expressing in the shower. My mum (embarrassingly) was trying to help me squeeze these giant engorged Dolly Parton boobies but they were just too full and sore to touch! So painful… I ended up getting my partner to bring my little girl down super early so she could drain them. It felt like I had 10kg weight strapped to my chest lol
I agree – we need to keep mothers in hospital for longer so that they can master breastfeeding… My milk came in properly the day I left hospital and I didnt have much clue with what to do my engorged breasts especially as they were already so cracked and sore.
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When my daughter was 12 weeks old I attended a charity black tie event. At the start of the night, I checked my breast pump into the cloak room, at about 11pm I checked it out, expressed off some milk in the bathroom, checked it back in and continued partying.
I bet the ladies in the bathroom didn’t expect to hear REEE REEE REEE REEE when they walked in!
I think it’s fine, you do what you have to!
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Me too, my middle girl was 2 weeks old when I went to a friend’s wedding. Halfway through the night, there I was in the ladies’ room, pumping away. Luckily most of the women were just impressed that I’d made it to the wedding!!
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I did much the same thing, although the only power point was for the hand dryer, right next to the entry/exit. Some poor woman came in in a bit of a rush and I very nearly took her eye out with the pump!
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My 11 year old was nearly a month old when her big sister graduated from primary school. Halfway through the night I had to go to the toilet and hand express into paper towels to take the edge off.
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Great article.
I used to express at work when my daughter was about 6 months old – worked in a government department where I took complaints from members of the public over the phone. As it was only a 4 hour shift and so there was no actual break and I was in my own internal office (although without blinds) I would just get pumping during the shift with a scarf wrapped over me and put the phone on loudpseaker – the callers were none the wiser!! I covered the pump with the rest of my scarf to muffle the whirring sound it made and just carried on. The funniest part was that it seemed like for about 6 months, every shift I had there was a young uni student, often male, sitting in with me to listen to the calls as part of their on-the-job training!! They were always seemed shocked at what I was doing in front of them but just accepted it and were always nice (albeit with their dropped jaws!)
I also pumped on a bench in the foyer of the college of law at st leonards when I was completing my diploma.. noone noticed as I covered up with a scarf but the odd whirring noise of the pump did attract a few confused glances!
By this stage I had been breastfeeding already for ages and felt confident going about my business in reasonably public places and although I never had anyone frown at me or say anything mean, I do agree that there should be more facilities for women in this position!
Will add that I ended up breastfeeding my daughter until she was 2 yrs old and I think it’s disgraceful that women are being made to feel embarrassed and being given attitude about pumping/feeding in public, especially if it contributes to them give up breastfeeding earlier than they otherwise would.
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I feel for all of you who have had to deal with the stares and rude comments. Once again the government with its good intentioned initiatives have failed to really deliver by overlooking the realities that women who choose to breastfeed continue to face.
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Some of you have expressed (sorry) dislike for having to show everything to express unlike with breast feeding where the babies head covers most of the breast. Well the first thing that comes to mind is why is the top most section of the breast pump that you place on your breast always clear/see through?
Also why isn’t there a expressing coverall? What I’m thinking of is a piece of material with a hole cut out of the centre with elastic around it that can be slipped over the breast cup of the expressing bottle leaving the catch bottle / wires etc exposed but the suction cup/breast covered? Sure it’s something else to carry but I reckon it could work. What do the ladies think?
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The attachment is clear so that you can see that the nipple is positioned directly in front of the draining tube (no point in trying to express from elsewhere). Once you get going you can cover with a shawl, etc, if you wish but you really do need to see what you’re doing when you get started. Well I did, some women can probably do it in their sleep while knitting a beanie…
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i’m laughing because even though they are clear, I still can’t position them correctly and when home get my husband to check…he does not get any pleasure out of the check either. What I do have though is a hands free bra which is pretty much what nathaniel is describing and it’s fantastic. can surf the web (or do work) while pumping without a problem once all set up.
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Having them clear always freaks me out how much of your nipple gets sucked into the tube! There’s no way that much goes in her little mouth.
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