Hallelujah. New federal laws have made it illegal to discriminate against breastfeeding mothers. I know – it’s hard to believe this is 2011.
At last women are allowed to feed their babies and not just at home in the comfort of their rocking, feeding chairs. Hey, they can even go out to cafes, restaurants, and to work without being asked to leave – fancy that. .
Under changes to the Sex Discrimination Act passed last week by the Federal Parliament, it will be discriminatory for a restaurateur to decline service to a breastfeeding woman, or an employer to refuse to hire a breastfeeding mother.
As I wrote in a previous column
Nobody can forget the hype when Kate Langbroek, breastfed on live TV during The Panel. “Publicity stunt!” cried some. “Outrageous!” cried others. “Oh please!” I cried at nobody in particular. There’s nothing contrived about breastfeeding. If only infants could follow a PR schedule. Have you met a baby? They tend to be rather spontaneous and extremely unreasonable, particularly when tired or hungry which is approximately always. Kate Langbroek was at work. Her baby was hungry. She fed him. It happens. The end. And yet people still talk about it today.
The fact she was working at all is a problem for some people who feel uncomfortable when the worlds of work and motherhood collide. They can’t compute that personal choice or financial necessity makes that collision a reality for millions of women like Kate every day. Oh look, it’s 2009.
With over a decade of breastfeeding on my CV (not consecutively and not of the same child), there’s not a public place where I haven’t breastfed or expressed. Beaches, planes, shopping centres, parks, airports, restaurants, BBQs, offices, cafes, meetings, parties, weddings, funerals, churches, synagogues…and frankly, I couldn’t care less who was watching.
Oddly enough, I tend to prioritise my baby’s immediate needs over the Elizabethan prudishness of people who have a problem with boobs being used for their natural function. I’m zany like that.
When I’m in breastfeeding mode, my breasts are about as sexual to me as a bowl of Weet Bix. Because that’s exactly what they represent to my baby. Sustenance. Not sex.
I also find the term ‘public breastfeeding’ amusing. Those who oppose it exude a fearful, vaguely alarmed vibe, as if there are groups of marauding mothers using their babies as an excuse to flash their lactating breasts in strangers’ faces: “I know! Let’s meet at Westfield! The first person to flash their leaky nipple to 100 shoppers wins a toasted sandwich!”
As for the suggestion by some that breastfeeding should happen in toilets, I totally agree. As soon as those same people are happy to have their morning coffee made, served and drunk in a toilet cubicle, we shall happily breastfeed right alongside them.
My other favourite thing is when people say mothers should be discreet. This is also true. There are far too many breastfeeding women who brazenly strip naked to the waist in public each time their baby grizzles. Have you seen them throw their bosoms around with gay abandon while waving their arms in the air like they just don’t care? What is wrong with these women? Why do they derive so much pleasure from being almost nude in public? Oh wait. They’re not and they don’t. We feed our babies as quickly and quietly as possible because THEY ARE HUNGRY and SO THEIR CRIES DON’T DISTURB YOUR VERY IMPORTANT PUBLIC BUISNESS such as texting someone while you sip your skinny latte and flick through a newspaper in a coffee shop. Selfish exhibitionists, yes we are.
Have you ever been confronted while feeding your own children? How do you feel when you see a woman breastfeeding in public ?
Comments
336 Comments so far
Women breast-feed in public. Ladies don’t!
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Oh how I wish there was a dislike button
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Yes, breast-feeding in public is natural. So is going to the lavatory. What next? Will you women be insisting that your child go to the toilet in the street because it was urgent? Next we will be having everyone going to the toilet in the street, because it is natural. This is the beginning of the end. The decline of polite civilization. Breast-feeding in public is base and primitive. Maybe I should go to the lavatory when ever and where ever I am. It IS natural!
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Beware of people who compare feeding a baby to going to the toilet .They are those who think breastfeeding a dirty act.
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I have breastfed in public, and am perfectly fine with it. I tend to pay attention almost exclusively to my child, so I wouldn’t even know if I was being glared at! I’ve never had a comment. Interestingly though, I still feel like I don’t know where to look when another mother is breastfeeding in my presence. I’m not worried about what I’ll see (I know from experience it’s probably not much, even if I tried, which I wouldn’t!), but rather, worried about how the mum might feel if she became aware of my presence and attention. I know there’s a wide variety of feelings amongst mums breastfeeding in public. She may be feeding in public for the first time, and feeling nervous, or she may have done it umpteen times, and honestly feel it’s the same as offering an older child a cup or a piece of bread! I personally am happy with any response – smile, passing glance – even a shy smile followed by pointed ignoring (as long as it’s not disapproving – IMHO,that’s not their judgment to make).
In any case, people may not realise what you’re doing – I’ve had someone comment, from less than a metre away, that my vigorously feeding baby was sleeping beautifully!
But I’d be interested to hear from other mums who’ve breastfed in public, what response do you like / are you comfortable? Is there anyone who feels awkward if people smile or nod encouragingly, because any attention makes you self-conscious? I suppose that’s still my lingering concern.
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cool article– cool site.although i had no idea people had such huge hatred for breastfeeding in public. well that may be because i have that psycotic mothers glare– if you say something, anything ill squirt you with milk. hehe no one has said anything to me but im glad there is a law now. what makes people think you ‘want’ to get your boobs out in public? i dont want to do it aymore than you want to see it. anyway id just like to say to all the poor mums who have endured such hatred – if i could take away that moment in your life i would- how shocking that people actually have the balls to complain about feeding your child. frig its hard enough breastfeeding without all the added stress from conservitive wankers thrown in. its a weird world we live in. but i can imagine these people exist because just a month ago i was chatting to friends and friends of friends about breastfeeding and they mentioned theyd only feed for 6 months- no longer because if you do longer you get saggy boobs! oh dear lord. good on ya mia- your a bloody legend. just keepin it real for all the women out there. there is also a flip side too this too, my sister couldnt breastfeed and she told me that the looks and stares she got from the breastfeeding warriors was hard also– so much so that she felt bad when feeding her bub in public from a bottle. poor things why cant people just mind their own business??? its never ending really-someones always got to have their five cents worth.
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Breastfeeding ‘in public’ is one thing – breastfeeding ‘in public’ with thousands of people queuing with nothing better to do than to stare at my audacity is another thing. That was what I was faced with today as I ventured out to Costco Sydney to join the many others hoping to catch a bargain with my baby of 3 months. Do you know that Costco who turns over $77 billion (according to their website) can not be bothered with setting up a small little room for us mothers who are not comfortable in taking our boobs out in public to breastfeed? I was completely flabbergasted!!! After asking several harassed employees who pointed me to various unsuitable areas 1. outdoor dining area watched over by the lengthy queues to get in as well as the busy Parramatta road or 2. the disabled toilet with the baby change table. Guess what I chose? The disabled toilet, sitting on top of the toilet seat!! Speaking of un-hygenic. The poor manager whom I tried to complain to was understandably apologetic and said it was an American company who have no considered our Australian needs. I guess people in American aren’t too fussed about feeding their babies…
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I didn’t realise those laws weren’t already in place. Anyhow i’m glad to report that I have never been made to feel ashamed when I breastfed my children in public and i’d be shocked if someone ever approached me to give me a hard time about it. In fact i’d be shocked if people who previously treated me with respect and warmth were to suddenly greet me with cold stony faces and complete silence if I chose to breastfeed in front of them. Yet this is EXACTLY the reaction I faced in the HOSPITAl after the birth of my 2nd child from the NURSES at the nurses station which was opposite the kitchen where I was heading for some formula. The very same women who had spent the previous 48 hours with me, laughed with me, took photos of me and my baby for me, commented on his beautiful red hair and were generally very welcoming and helpful to me were the very same women who reduced me to tears when, after spending the previous 3 hours picking up my baby to feed him, only to place him back in his cot because I could not face the toe curling agony of attaching him to my shredded nipple, I decided I was going to give him some formula, just for this feed, just to give me a chance to heal. Those very same women (some of whom had actually recoiled in horror at the state of my nipples) now sat at their nurses station, all 8 of them (shift changeover) and when I asked for some help with the formula (what teat? should I heat it? how much would a 2 day old drink?) staring at me. No one answered me. They just stared at me. Finally after what was probably only 10 seconds, but felt like an eternity, one of them stepped forward and showed me what to do. So I took myself back to my room and sat on my bed and bottle fed my baby with tears rolling down my face. So go ahead, be happy for laws that protect breastfeeding in public. But in my experience they are not needed. What I experienced whilst still at the hospital from professionals was only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the disgust and other comments I have had lobbed my way whilst bottle feeding a baby. Where the hell are my rights?
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That degree of sore nipple horror (blisters, etc) comes from not shoving enough of the breast into the babies mouth. This places the infants entire suckling action on to the nipple (especially the tip) and it is a painful thing to do.
When assisting the infant to “latch on” you do not t just give the baby the end of the nipple, or just even the nipple itself. There are milk outlets all over the aureole and nipple region, and you give it all to them (as much as their little mouth will take). If needed you can easily *FOLD* the ENTIRE nipple & aureole region to get things to work better.
This is common information with those who teach women how to nurse, but then there is a serious lack of proper breast feeding instruction in hospitals. Midwives tend not to know much about it (although they ought to).
But then after 50 years of people being told that breast feeding was icky, and embarrassing and dirty and nasty and EVEN claims that it was a sex thing – and claims from big companies like NESTLE that breast milk is bad for babies health (which killed tens of thousands of infants in third world and also created several generations of people with lower IQs and bad immunity) what do we expect? We have been made ignorance by people who are ashamed of the fact that humans are ANIMALS and that we have SKIN.
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Mia Freedman you have written a wonderful article!!!!! Thank you for speaking up!
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Thankyou Mia for an entertaining article. I love reading your work!
Lets hope that societal views of public breastfeeding improves along with the changes to the Act.
http://www.maternal-instincts.com.au/blog
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It is right that it is now an offence for a “restaurateur to decline service to a breastfeeding woman”. And please, Waitress, don’t pass the steaming cup of coffee over the baby’s head!
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Gosh I love that I can read this and tell how passionate you are about this ! <3 Thank God for reason!
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I have never felt any negativity from others when breastfeeding in public, thank goodness. I would feel really upset if I did. Mums really need support whilst they are bringing up their children, regardless of the methods they are using. It is the hardest job there is, at times, at others the best. There is too much critism all round.
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I think this picture sums it up quite nicely!
(from http://ilovecharts.tumblr.com/post/5841383337 just to give credit!)
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Wow, I had just assumed that this legislation already existed!
I think that it is so important to see mums breastfeeding for a couple of reasons. The first is that when it will reinforce the notion of breastfeeding being a normal way to feed a baby and that breasts are not just for decoration but a food source too! And secondly it acts as a kind of subconcious breastfeeding how-to for a generation of girls and women who have never seen a breast used for its intended purpose. Imagine if a person was asked to dance if they were brought up in a community where dancing was never done in public! And yet we send women home with a newborn and expect them to somehow know how to feed their babies even though many new mums have never seen another women breastfeed. We read books telling us how to breastfeed or go to breastfeeding “lessons” but surely the best education would be if from an early age we had seen other women doing it?
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Law on Breast feeding in public. Australia (perhaps in its forever effort to put behind its History of originS), proves itself as nation of thinkers. Australia is a fine Nation indeed. There is some disappointment though, that it should take such a nation so many years of Independence, development and living as civilised law conscious people, very aware of Women’s rights and Liberation to come up with a law concerning such a basic thing. But we did overlook a little technicality – that in LEgalising one thing we ILLegalise those other things that have been left out. One law REQUires another; a law for one thing throws up an instant NEED for another thing. BUT i’M certain the great Australian think tank is already at work on the issue even as I mention this – eg. we have to make it legal that women can be in public places when they are in the middle of their periods. Babies can drool in public/ public places. Little kids may not be harassed or punished for wetting their pants in public or oN public property (and messing up things a bit). AND SO on -I’m sure the great Nation is quite capable and shall leave no stone unturned in the effort. I’m sure there’ll be more Gems coming.
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This is actually an Australian law
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Thank you for correcting me . My unconditional apology for the awful error. A thousand apologies. Australia is a wonderful nation. Though I still love America more!
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Savannah I have breastfed 3 children after having breast implants. Breast implants do not affect your ability to breastfeed. Get your fact right.
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I hope the plastics industry is paying you for this !
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Women who choose not to breastfeed don’t know what they’re missing out on!
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I think that’s pretty harsh. Some mothers would love to be able to breastfeed and I’m sure would love to be able to know what they’re missing. Some mothers choose not to breastfeed, and why should they be made to feel they’re missing anything? We all need to respect each other’s choices (I’ve feed both breast and formula), and not turn this into a breast vs bottle debate
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This “political correctness” makes me want to scream! Can’t people say what they think anymore? If you can breastfeed & choose not to, then you & especially your baby are missing out on so many benefits!
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Making women ‘feel’ they are ‘missing ‘ SoMething (in the case) may be a nice way of saying (1) they are opting out on breastfeeding because of some misconception (2) that they OUGHT to breastfeed if they are physically capable (3) they are wrong in taking away a child’s basic natural and ‘nurtural’ right- and the physical and mental ‘plusses’ a ch8ild gains from the close contact between mother and child when breastfeeding.
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I feel sorry for the silly young women who get breast implants so they can look more like a sex object & thereby ruin their chances of experiencing what their breasts are really there for! And that is for feeding their babies!
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Actually you are totally disrespecting their choice to do with their body whatsoever please them and also assuming them to ever have children which they may also not choose to do.
Calling my wife silly because she had a breast implant surgery to make her feel more confident is insulting and arrogant and completely offensive.
She didn’t do it to objectify herself and I when consulted opinioned against it but with support for her choice.
Pity so many people want to tell others what to do
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Do you take *Everything* personally?
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I do not know whether women are ‘silly’ who go for plastic because it helps (!) their confidence (!) But there are CeRTaiNLy silly people out there that made them lose their confidence in the first place.
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Um, implants do not hinder the ability to breastfeed. Also, implants happen for many reasons and not just the young. Like, breast cancer, after a horrendous car accident etc. Or *gasp* because they bloody well want to.
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I am also pro breastfeeding in public and do so almost every day. I have always found people to be supportive, particularly sympathetic mums and dads who might see me grappling with a ‘crappy’ feed or trying to cover up the cold on my back when I haven’t been organsied enough to think of an appropriate thing to wear in case I need to breastfeed while I’m out.
WHAT I DON’T LIKE HOWEVER and what I experienced the other day was the following: I had not long fed my baby and I was attempting to sit down and grab some lunch with my mum and mother in law. My baby girl was overtired and a bit too stimulated by the laneway in which we were eating. So I wandered off with her to restore some peace and reassure that it’s ok, we’ll go to a quiet place and she can rest. Anyway, while rocking her in my arms trying to get her to settle, a women came up to me and out of the blue said “you should breastfeed her and let her fall asleep on the breast. There are lots of colds and things going around. Breastfeeding is great for baby’s immune system. Are you breastfeeding?” EXCUSE ME?! There was no “Hello, are you ok?” or “Hi, I’m…., what’s your baby’s name” i.e. no pleasantries, she just launched straight into giving me unsolicited advice . I could barely speak to this person as I was so suprised. I’m pretty sure I just stood there looking at her in suprise and she walked off. I had the feeling of “did this just happen? Did someone I have never met just come up to me and start telling me how to do my job?”
I can’t imagine what her comments may have meant to me if I was having a tough time with the whole motherhood thing. What if I was really struggling with breastfeeding and feeling bad about that?
I realised shortly after that the woman who came up to me was someone who is (albeit in the background a bit) in the public eye and an Australian Breastfeeding Ambassador. In fact she was on the cover of the last ABA mag. I would have thought her role as an ambassador would encompass nurturing, supporting and assisting women not hanging around the city doling out breastfeeding advice when SHE thought it necessary to give.
Women put enough pressure on themselves without another person telling them what they “should” do when it comes to their children.
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That is really shocking and incredibly rude.
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That’s awful.
I had the same thing happen to me. but unfortunately I am not ABLE to breastfeed. It was so upsetting.
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I have breastfed in public and received some stares, but I’ve never been confronted about it, thank goodness, as even though I have a myriad of sarcastic responses already pre-prepared in my head, I’m sure I’d just end up crying instead! When we have friends or family around, I will often say ‘nobody minds if I breastfeed, do they?’ before I do it front of everyone. However, I have lately been rethinking this, as this is my son’s meal and really, too bad if they DO mind. I’m a little ashamed of myself for being hesitant about it, and tiptoeing around some people ‘so as not to offend’. GREAT article, thanks for saying it like it is, and I for one will now be breastfeeding without an announcement beforehand!
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When I see another woman breastfeeding, it brings back such good memories and makes me miss it! Can’t even begin to imagine what offends people about a tiny vulnerable human being fed in such a natural way.
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I feel the same way & totally agree with your comment! I found people only got offended by me breastfeeding when my baby was old enough to walk. A lot of people seem to think it is disgusting to breastfeed a baby over the age of one year!
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i work in a busy sydney suburb filled with mums and babies. Women often chose to breastfeed in our cafe. I am glad they feel they’re in a safe enough in my cafe space to tend to their childs needs (as i see it; happy baby= happy mum= happy cafe atmosphere).
My female boss recently commented how she felt it was innapropriate so many women chose to breastfeed in our cafe, i was shocked. She is not only a woman but a mother of two. I couldnt help but feel that it was a generational thing (she is 60 i am 20).
I have grown up in a society where women have been mostly free to breastfeed when and where they want to, so im pretty fine with it. If and when a woman chooses to use her breasts for their biological purpose, to serve the needs of a child so be it- its really not a big deal.
Breast feeding should not be controversial because it involves breasts- a part of the human anatomy that is not only to serve the purpose of male titilation (pun intended).
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Tell your boss I am one of the mums who frequently goes to a breastfeeding friendly cafe and she would be mad to make a big deal out of it. I go there BECAUSE I know I can feed my bubs and myself there with no hassles!
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YAY! This is great. I’m still adjusting to breastfeeding in public – not that I’m embarrassed, more the logistical task of getting my big boobs out of my bra/top and into my baby’s mouth without it being a Big Deal. If you know what I mean. So it’s good to know that I’m officially protected from discrimination – because I must admit I’ve kind of been waiting for a negative comment!
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From the Raspberry Latte blog
http://victorianaaa.tumblr.com/post/5939714855/persephonesunset-word-to-the-salmon-square-ha
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You can’t see it, but I stood up and cheered.
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Wonderful piece! As I am currently a breast feeding mother to an 8 month old boy and needing to express during the 2 days a week that I work, it’s great news that we can feed our babies whilst eating or having a cuppa in a cafe.
I was asked to stop breast feeding in a cafe a month ago… I had my back to other patrons and the only person who saw me feeding my baby, was the waitress. I laughed and asked them to call the police to have me removed if they felt so strongly about it… I got my morning tea for free as an apology.
Thankfully, I work in a wonderful company where breast feeding and expressing at work is not only accepted but encouraged to maintain supply and the ability to provide the perfect food for our babies for as long as possible.
Having legislated backup is wonderful
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at my brothers wedding after the ceremony as everyone was standing around- inside the church cos it was raining- talking and congratulating them my bub was hungry, i ducked into a side room to feed him and had just (with some difficulty) got my boob out of my bridesmaid dress when the minister walked in, turns out the side room was his office – i apologised profusely for being in his office in a church with boobs out, he just smiled and said never apologise for doing one of the most natural things in the world!
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I was breastfeeding my cranky baby in a coffee shop last week, (discreetly, I might add) when a lovely older fellow sat down at the table next to me, and just started chatting to me, asking if it was my first, yada yada, completely unfazed by the fact I had my baby on the boob. He then tells me that he has six kids, and his baby is now 50, so he feels quite old! A really sweet man completely unfazed by my breastfeeding in public. It made my day
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I think breast feeding is awesome sauce and people should do it anywhere. But I don’t think that Kate went on live tv without giving some thought to the fact that she would have a hungry baby backstage and how she would deal with that during the show. I think it’s great she did it but. That said I would find it disconcerting if say a news reader breast fed while reading the news.
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so, i’m not a mother (yet), but i think breastfeeding is the most natural and wonderous of things in the world.
i haven’t read all of the 256 comments below (2 glasses of champagne shortens my attention span somewhat), so not sure if this has been raised.
i work in allied health and am in frequent contact with new mums. i am alarmed and surprised by the many, many new mums who refuse to even try breastfeeding. granted, mostly these are young mums (under 25).
I always make a point of asking them why they don’t even consider it, almost always their answer is because it’s ‘embarrassing’ (apparently).
i think this is very sad…… thoughts??
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Yes, what I said below. We need to make it acceptable and normal and stop women feeling shamed for feeding in public or needing to stay within 100 meters of a mothers room.
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I also ask antenatally or early postnatally. My own theory is that they (the young mums) still see them as sexual and haven’t developed enough in their own skin to be comfortable with that side of their function. It is great when a young mum will breastfeed. That said you do have to be careful how you ask, as some will feel defensive about it anyway and if you get their back up straight away, then you’ve lost the chance for any meaningful dialogue with them ever.
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I was visiting my brother in Brisbane and was breastfeeding very hungry baby Z in the Queen Street Mall.
Some random fellow stopped and looked at me for a strange length of time. I was preparing a ‘fuck off’ speech, ’cause the look on his face was weird (though not pervy).
But he says: “beautiful, just beautiful”, smiles beatifically and then wanders off!
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Gorgeous!
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I know!!
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THAT is fantastic!
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I have never been made to feel uncomfortable while BFing. Even in the middle of the Greek festival in Brisbane last weekend. It took a while before I fed anywhere but a parents room because I felt like I would be making others uncomfortable but after I fed in public due to necessity I found that no one really cares about me BFing. It’s not an issue as far as I’m concerned. It’s great that BFing publicly is protected by legislation though. I believe that too much pressure is placed on mothers to BF. Most of my friends have bottle fed their babies and I’m yet to see any difference between their babies & mine. My daughter was on mostly formula until she was 8 weeks and we could BF properly & I felt more judgment from bottle feeding her than BFing in public. Everyone should mind their own business and let mothers do what they feel is best for them & their babies.
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Indeed! As someone who was driven to the point of being an emergency admission to a Melbourne ‘sleep school’ as an inpatient and was driven to the point of desperation and near suicide by continuing to try and breastfeed my baby on the advice of the Aus Breastfeeding Association and then the sleep school I am fiercely and passionately against the way the ABA go about things. They and others should by all means encourage BF but not at the cost of the health and mental stability of the mother. I had bad breast surgery at a young age which my surgeon advised would probably make BF impossible, yet the ABA in their ‘wisdom’ (ie their totally medically unqualified consultant) adivsed me that that was BS and everyone can BF. I better stop now, or this rant will go on and on even more!
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I thought you might find this link interesting. I am currently bfeeding but continually find attitudes from the ABA and Lactation consultants pushy and short sighted, I can’t imagine what you went through.
http://cannold.com/articles/article/breastfeeding-differing-advice-flows-oh-so-freely/
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Haven’t gone through all the comments so not sure if this has been posted…
You will love the pics in this blog titled Breastfeeding is Offensive?
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1501574/Breastfeeding_is_Offensive?next=21#comments
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Oh I love that. The last picture is so sweet!
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Can’t believe there are still many, many comments on here about women being ‘discreet’ and going into another room to BF. Not enough women breastfeed for long enough in Australia. Our rates are low and there are real health benefits to babies, not to mention cost savings to our health system for BF babies. Women who are breastfeeding need to be supported. I know loads of women who don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in public so give their baby formula (yes, expressing can be very, very hard) when they are out. Women who do this are more likely to stop feeding. Why do they feel uncomfortable? Because of all the comments here about discretion, and going to mothers rooms. What if you can’t find a mothers room? What if you are also trying to hold on to a toddler? It can be so stressful that women don’t bother and Australia, that is our shame. Stop banging on about being discreet (i’ve never ever met an indiscreet BF mum) and look the other way if you don’t like it.
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I know!
I particularly love the “I support breastfeeding” comment that ends :
“move from a crowded room to a quieter room at a party or BBQ to feed. And it doesn’t mean you can’t turn your body away from the crowd if possible when feeding in public. It’s all little things that makes it more comfortable and practical for everyone.”
I wish he would just admit that he doesn’t support women and babies breastfeeding in public rather than pretending there is some logic to his craziness!
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There are also mothers who are uncomfortable bottle feeding in public because of the uncompromising view by some that anything other than BF is akin to poisoning your child.
I actually don’t believe that the ‘be a bit discreet’ idea is wrong. Yes, breastfeeding is perfectly natural but what about around the older generation, say, somebody’s grandfather who may feel uncomfortable seeing a young woman get her boob out to feed. Noone’s saying don’t do it, but surely good manners means taking other people’s sensitivities into account too in most situations?
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My entire point was that women are ‘discreet’ while breastfeeding. Have you honestly ever seen women not be ‘discreet’? Tops off, boobs waving in the wind? By saying we need to be ‘discreet’, when we already are, is a cop out. If grandad feels uncomfortable with a young women quietly and discreetly feeding her child, HE is the one who needs to leave, not her. The culture around feeding needs to change, it is normal.
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If nobody is being indiscreet about it, then what’s the problem?
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Exactly!
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I never ever had a problem breastfeeding in public with my older two. I don’t expect to when I do it next time. I am comfortable throwing a shawl or light throw over my shoulder until bub is comfortably attached.
I love seeing other women breastfeeding in public. It’s such a special thing to be able to do (and that’s no disrespect to those that can’t or won’t – sometimes there are reasons).
I didn’t think we needed laws but I’m glad they are they. It’s probably more a case of no law against it but if people were being discriminated against, there needs to be a law.
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This is a great article and great news but it was my belief that a woman couldn’t be discriminated against already before i read this article. i had been told this by lactation consultants and midwifes. i think people need to remember its a mother’s choice as to how they not only feed but how they care for and parent their baby. as with many things not just breastfeeding sometimes other factors limit their choices or the choice is taken out of their hands all together. what needs to be remembered here is that a precious baby is receiving what they need by a loving well intending mother. other people’s judgements and feelings shouldn’t come in to it and you shouldn’t feel the need to impart those feelings you have . by all means if it positive and you want to say job well done this might be a confidence booster but i feel there is no need for negativity. i don’t see what good this does. i am a mother of two. i struggled to breastfeed my first son and gave up and he was happy and healthy bottlefeeding. i am breastfeeding my second son and it has been a totally different experience and he is also happy and healthy. i say to all mums you are doing a great job regardless of how your bub is fed and i find it silly public breast or bottlefeeding is an issue i ‘d much rather see either then a screaming crying unhappy baby and a stressed mother.
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I’m currently breastfeeding my 7 month old and will continue to at least 12 months. I express at work, feed her wherever and whenever she needs it and love this new law.
Linked to this new law, the Herald Sun ran this article on Thursday:
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/give-us-a-break-new-mums-tell-bosses/comments-e6frf7jo-1226062952766
The comments (which are selected by the Herald Sun) are all anti-women, discriminatory and hideous. I think I only read two or three that were for lactating women working (or mothers working, for that matter). I was horrified.
I wrote a reply to the article myself, but it wasn’t published. I wonder which misogynist was in charge of the comments page that day?
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Oh my goodness Molly, I just read the link and to say i’m a little shocked is an understatement. While i’m not a mum (yet… 6 weeks pregnant today!), I work within a parenting realm, as a writer for a parenting and family title and just find it so hard to believe that there are individuals (and quite a few) who seem to share the opinon that ‘breeding’ should only be considered by couples who can afford to have one parent stay at home… Grrrrrr
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I breastfed both my babies in assorted public places and I have to say that I never got an angry comment or even a dirty look. I found that people would either smile or ignore me. I never had any issue. Maybe I was just lucky.
I would imagine that it was women who bottle fed their babies who would get more grief from the passing public. But I don’t know…I just assuming that.
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I am another mum who had to bottle feed my bub and hid away in the parents rooms indiviual cubicles to do so (I have seen a few similar stories in the posts below). I recieved many dirty looks and comments when I did bottle feed in public. It is just heart breaking to go through the trauma of not being able to breastfeed when I so desparately wanted to AND to feel judged by so many people as though I was less of a women/mother/person because my baby was not exclusively breastfeed.
It is also interesting reading through the comments below that so many women who have been fortunate enough to breastfeed and have done so in public have had a ‘speech’ prepared to be whipped out in the event of any criticism but have not had to use it (as opposed to me having to defend myself to strangers on sooooooo many occassions whislt bottle feeding).
Uuugh feeling depressed…. hope I can breastfeed bubba no.3 who is on his way and hopefully hungry if not (which at this point seems likely) I will be back to hiding out in the parents rooms
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Good luck with breastfeeding, but don’t hide away. You’re doing the best you can for your bubba and that’s nothing to be ashamed about!
Some babies just don’t feed well on the breast. Both boob and baby have to be a good match. All the best intentions in the world wont make it happen for every child.
As soon as my eldest really go into solids, he self-weaned at 6 months. Second child self-weaned at 9 months. Whatcha gonna do?
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Breastfed my first (daughter) with great ease for 16 months. Breastfed my second for 4 months and had lumpy boobs and mastitis and was miserable (as was he) My daughter is now a severe asthmatic. My son is as strong as an ox.
Just KNOW that what you’re doing is best for you and your bub and look at those ignorant busybodies with that strong conviction in your eyes!
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I breast fed while sitting by my mother in icu as they turned life support off. the only way to keep her quiet in all the angst.
Good thing breast feeding- much less disturbing then the screaming
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I think I just fell in love.
I am all for feeding when hungry, no matter the place or time. Go boobie babies!
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What about breastfeeding in a church? I was at a funeral and had to leave the church to feed my baby. I now regret it as I missed the Eulogy!
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I think it depends how the deceased relates to you. I was prepared to bf at my grandmas funeral, but I wouldn’t, at say, an ex-colleagues or not-close friends.
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I have found being in churches, at weddings and funerals, one of the easier places to feed. While already seated at a pew, stick the boob in and no-one is distracted by a screaming hungry baby. This is your right! You are feeding your baby, not going up the front and putting on a show. At the end of the day people are going to remember the funeral/wedding. No one is going to remember you breastfeeding your baby.
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As a trainee priest I would welcome breastfeeding or bottle feeding in my Church – babies are such a mircale we should be celebrating them! And what is better when we are farewelling one soul than to nurture another?
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That’s a beautiful philosophy, Josie.
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Beautiful. Absolutely.
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Be warned if you don’t have your baby with you at a wedding you could end up with a stained dress. I went to my best-friends wedding a week after my twins were born. (They were in special care so i couldn’t have them with me) and everytime something emotional was said I had a let-down! Did I mention I was at a wedding, it was one emotional moment after another!
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I breastfed during a wedding. I chose to sit towards the back of the congregation because I knew I would need to feed.
I also feed during mass whenever it coincides with bub’s feeds
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Thank you everyone for your responses. It was my husbands grandmothers funeral ( I was very close for her). No going back now
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I struggled mightily with breastfeeding when my son was an infant, but I persisted, and he thrived, even if we had to spend a lot of time ‘wrestling’ with each other to get the job done.
My husband and I went to Hawaii with some friends when he was about 3- months-old and yes, I spent a lot of time with my boobs exposed during feeding sessions. One of my male friends was finding it a bit hard not to stare, and made a rather insensitive comment about me “flashing them around.” I said, ok, imagine trying to feed a squirming, shrieking infant from your testicles and tell me how composed you’d be. My girlfriends all died laughing and he didn’t make any more comments after that.
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Go Mia! I agree with you all the way, there is absolutely nothing that should stop a Mum from breastfeeding her baby in public, I’m all for it.
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Pity the law can’t change the discrimination and judgement put on the women who bottle feed their babies, whether it be by choice or not.
For the few weeks I breastfed my first child I never had any issue with looks, comments or discrimination, but it’s a different story when he was bottlefed.
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Really? I have never noticed. Does anyone really care what other mothers decide? So many mothers stop feeding early, I would think it is normal.
I am sorry you were made to feel that way.
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Sadly yes Amandarose
I was not only given disapproving looks for bottle feeding my baby but also questioned by strangers as to why I was breastfeeding. It was utterly humiliating. Especially as I already felt like a failure for not being able to breastfeed.
In my experience A LOT of people cared about what other mothers were doing when it came to feeding their baby. Such a pity isn’t it?
x
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Hi Anon… this was my exact experience, nobody batted an eyelid for the first month when all i did was breastfeed to try and get my supply in… that never came. I got berated for supplement feeding, and not giving my supply a ‘chance’ when my little girl was sick and was not going to be let leave the hospital, as she had lost so much weight on my non-existent supply, and then, when she refused to suck on mums empty straw at one month, also got stared at disapprovingly, and even as far to say ‘bullied’ cause i didnt ‘try’ hard enough to breastfeed. I stare at breastfeeding women, with a sad jealousy in my heart. I agree, i think the pendulum has swung the other way, who gives anyone the right to judge how we feed our babies!
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I’m sorry that was your experience (that was me above, came up as Anonymous).
I agree with you and would go so far as to say that I too was bullied by one lactation consultant. (others were good and the breastfeeding school very encouraging) but one consultant in particular was terrible. She physically hurt me when she was trying to assist, and kept persisting even though my baby and I were crying in pain and distress. She was so militant about it all and said that even if it meant expressing all the feeds I should do it for a year. I managed for 3 months on the expressing machine but it was awful. I was so stressed all the time. I spent 6 hours a day on the damn thing – 6 hours a day that I didn’t spend cuddling my newborn
Sitting on that machine for so many hours made me feel revolted with my own breasts. I haven’t ever really covered from that feeling, 4 years down the track.
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Jeez….I can’t believe we are STILL talking about this. My oldest son is 15 – born in 1996 – and I breastfed him everywhere. Let me think…planes (tick), trains (tick) pubs (tick…and YEP I had a glass of wine), restaurants (tick), shopping centres (tick), the movies (tick)….museums, parks, boats, beaches…..the space shuttle
Gosh, why is this still being discussed after 15 years. Hello…is anybody listening…breasts are sexual – but they are also for feeding babies!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I breastfed my two in all sorts of places. Maybe I’m just oblivious but most people didn’t even seem to notice. My FIL was uncomfortable, he is a conservative older man, he used to leave the room and I used to let him. I figured it was easier for him to move around than me.
As for other mums who are breast or bottle feeding, if they’re looking up I try to give them a smile, if they’re being very discreet and look like they want privacy I look away. Of course I secretly want to steal their baby for a cuddle but that would be illegal, and inappropriate!
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I do believe breastfeeding is the best way for both mother and baby, however I don’t think doing it in public is something that should be encouraged. There are a lot of men out there that find it stimulating and I do believe its up to the mother to protect herself and her baby from that. You can always put breast milk in a bottle and/or cover yourself in an area with less traffic.
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who are these men? Seriously, that’s like saying that women should never show cleavage, or legs, and that women’s behaviour incites abuse. You have got it so wrong.
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No way, you’re not serious??? “lots of men” – I don’t think so. Where/who are these people? I’ve fed my (now 15 and 10) year old babies everywhere and not seen any salivating weirdos. You are just wrong.
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Haha, I don’t mind if the occasional man is “stimulated” , I don’t see how it would affect me or the baby so I don’t get why I would need to protect myself.
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What if your baby doesnt take a bottle?
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Wow never thought of that one lol! If a strange man didn’t mind seeing all two inches of my boob when feeding then so be it, it’s not a physical or emotional risk for either me or my baby! There’s no way I’d hide myself at home, in a bathroom or give my baby a bottle just because someone *might* just feel that way.
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Yep – my baby won’t take a bottle – no matter what’s in it – so that’s a useless “suggestion”.
Also, have you ever been anywhere with a screaming baby (and it happens out of the blue) and you KNOW that breastfeeding them immediately will settle them and stop the screaming – no way are you going to look for a place with less traffic…and although my personal preference is to cover up – when that would take too long as a second of your own baby screaming feels like an eternity – covering up is the last thing on my mind…not to mention that once the baby is “on”, it’s hard to see much anyway.
And I suggest you meet some other men as the ones you seem to know are very strange indeed.
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As a man I don’t find a woman breastfeeding stimulating at all, even if she isn’t covered. Please point these men out so I can refer them to a professional. I’ll admit I find clevage more enticing than a baby attached to an exposed breast, having lunch or whatever…the baby having lunch not the breast.
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Haha oh you’re right. There are men everywhere who are stimulated by a woman breastfeeding. In fact, there’s men everywhere who are stimulated by women I’m general so women should just never leave their houses. Sounds perfect. There will be less traffic on the roads, less congestion in trains and no screaming infants. You are pure genius!
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And there are also weirdos who find toes sexually arousing. Shall we stop our children wearing thongs to protect them from such perversity?
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Like I’ve said to my Mum, who has the same concern with me breastfeeding – Since I’ve had boobs, people have stared at/spoken to them/spoken about them. If they’re staring or talking about them now, at least they’re seeing them doing what they’re there for.
Burqas for all, then, hey?? Other people’s issues mean they can deal with it.
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I’ll admit that I feel weird when women breastfeed in public.
This isn’t because I think they should get a room – it’s because it quite fascinates me. Not in a sexual way, but in a clucky kind of way because I don’t have kids yet and I find the whole “Hey, you brought a life into the world and here you are sustaining it” thing pretty damn amazing.
So I feel weird because I try not to stare while marvelling at the human bond created and the achievements of the human body, but inevitably I end up staring sometimes and I don’t want to creep people out, though I’m well aware that I may creep them out by accident!
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What a refreshingly positive comment!
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I feel weird too as I love to see mum’s breastfeeding! I had such a wonderful experience breastfeeding my son for 12 months and was so disappointed to see alot of my friends give up so soon with their kids. I just want to go up to all the Mum’s and say “good for you”!
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Hey Shannon I felt kind of the same, and I really wish as a preggy lady I had watched more mums doing it. To my friends and family that are pg now I say, “I know it sounds weird but if you want to watch someone bf you can watch me”
I know people will think its pervvy or something, but I think its important as the mum not to be weird about it too if people show (non pervvy) interest. I tell all my friends and family (if they ask) that I’m not uncomfortable about people looking, as long as you don’t stare, then look as much as you need to to be comfortable. I feel more uncomfortable about people looking everywhere BUT at me while I feed to be perfectly honest.
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I think that is so true… How do you know how to do something if you have never seen it before? I was lucky I was from a big family, by the time I has my daughter I had seen multiple cousins, nephews and nieces BF so none of it was a mystery to me- I think that really helped in the first early days, b/c I knew what it was supposed to look like, and what good attachment looked like etc. I think in this modern day we miss out on that collective practical women’s wisdom
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Absolutely! I had so much trouble feeding my first baby, at one stage he was drinking blood and vomiting it back up again. I had no idea what I was doing and it was very painful. I went to see a lactation consultant a couple of days after getting out of hospital and she showed me a video of women breastfeeding and I was fine after that. The photocopied diagrams from textbooks that the hospital gives you I found completely useless, it’s much better actually watching how it’s done. And I think the same applies to a whole lot of other parenting stuff, we’re expected to sort it all out ourselves, to just ‘know’ what to do.
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Wow, that is really insightful. I agree that it’s kind of funny when people (usually dudes!) do everything they can to avoid looking at me when I’m breastfeeding! But I know they are just trying to be polite.
I think that’s very nice of you to put it out there to friends to watch you feed. It’s so true that many of us don’t have an example to pay attention to!
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I had problems breastfeeding one of my children so he was on the bottle half of the time from an early age. What I noticed and found rather strange was that when I did breastfeed him in public certain people would frown, roll their eyes and so on and at other times when I bottle fed him in public other people would frown and raise an eyebrow, I’m assuming hardcore pro-breastfeed people. So according to me you can’t do anything right. I am however very pleased that finally you can’t be discriminated from breastfeeding in public, it should’ve happened decades ago.
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I had exactly the same experience – some people frowned at me for breastfeeding, others for bottle-feeding. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t ..
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i feel weird when I see someone breastfeeding in public, and i don’t know why! maybe its because im not a mum, but if a mum needs to breastfeed in public – GO FOR IT!!!
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I personally beleive its because we don’t see ENOUGH of it, and I know thats why I personally felt uncomfortable about seeing women do it. I feel if I had more exposure to it, it would “normalise” it and I would be more comfortable. Now I’m a BFing mum and I don’t care who looks.
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I breastfed my 4 in public, but I had no idea I wasn’t allowed! However, I am older than Kate Langbroek and clearly remember that night on tv. To be honest, it did come across as contrived but who knows? I never fed a baby while crossing the road, however!
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I breastfed my son while doing the grocery shopping and wandering around the mall!
I had a great sling that no one could see into & bubby could feed til his heart was content.
I remember a friend’s Mum seeing me at the mall & wanted to take a peek at bub in the sling. I said “sure, why not as long as you don’t mind an eye-full of boob”!
She was absolutely blown away that I was strolling around shopping whilst feeding.
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I used a peanut shell from the moment my second daughter was born and loved the fact that I could feed her while shopping or doing housework – she was just tucked in close to my chest and if she needed a feed, I could simply slip my maternity bra back and get her going. I had many sweet little nanna’s trying to get a peek and they all made comments like “wish they had those in my day!” – I loved it! But with my firstborn, I hadnt yet discovered the wonders of the sling carriers and she was usually in a baby bjorn – there were a few occasions where I would literally leave a trolley full of shopping and rush out of a shop looking for a parents room for my screaming child – people aren’t shy in the slightest about giving you a dirty look if god forbid, your three week old baby is screaming in hunger!!! I think it is fantastic that the law is finally changed but I breastfed both my children in public and plan on doing it with my next two, If only people would get off their damn high horses and come down to earth with the rest of us!
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Interesting reading through theses comments how the mothers of the current BF mothers seem to be the ones asking their own children to be more discreet. To me this says a lot about the way everyone is very self absorbed in today’s society. I am not advocating BF in toilets or the like, however there are times when BF mothers should be more self aware. Case in point is the ones that visit their former workplace when on maternity leave and just BF totally indiscreetly in front of ALL their old colleagues despite the fact there would be counteless private meeting rooms and offices in which they could very happily and comfortably BF. The woman that I am thinking of as I write this post however, also changed her kids’s nappy VERY indiscreetly in front of everyone too. Hopefully this is not the norm!!
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Mum doesn’t worry about me offending people so much as people having a perve because I’ve got big boobs. Big difference.
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Hi Kris2040, have you had your baby?
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Hey Claire – Yep, she’s 7 weeks old!
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Why should said person have to isolate herself in a different room just to feed her baby? If it offended you maybe you should have found a private room so you could feel more comfortable
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I have breastfed and changed in front of huge groups of people! At my husbands work, at parties, at Church… why shouldn’t I BF wherever and whenever I like?
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