rogue

Please, let us present a very compelling theory that we're actually living in 2008.

In the last month, the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus released new music.

Every time I open Instagram, I am reminded of the existence of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan (Thanks @commentsbycelebs).

When I got to work this morning, my colleague spoke excitedly about The Hills: New Beginnings and I read an article about how Mischa Barton was worried about turning up to a party where Perez Hilton would also be, because they had beef.

It cannot be 2019 if we are watching Spencer, Heidi and Audrina on MTV. It simply cannot. Post continues below video.

Video by MTV

My head was in a spin. Suddenly I was singing Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield and there could be only one explanation: This was not 2019, but 2008. We have all been DUPED.

Hear me out: I wouldn’t suggest such an outrageous conspiracy without evidence, would I?

Disney stars… are back.

Today I looked at the ARIA Charts and saw the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus (plus, um, Billy Ray Cyrus???) ranked.

Who the heck looks at ARIA Charts, you ask? People in 2008, that’s who.

Plus in recent times we’ve had Instagram content from Cyrus (Miley… not Billy Ray) where she is singing along to High School Musical, posting up DMs between her and Nick Jonas and sharing videos of her singing with Selena Gomez at the 2008 Teen Music Awards.

Miley is clearly stoked that we’ve gone back in time (possibly because in 2008, 2013 hadn’t happened yet).

We’re obsessed with the most scripted reality TV to ever grace our screens.

the hills reboot
Iconic... but very 2008.
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When The Hills ended in 2010, our suspicions the reality program was indeed fake were confirmed.

As the years went by, and the cast opened up about what it was like to star on the show, more and more stories of scripted scenes, fabricated arguments and producers with a storyline to push emerged.

That didn't sound fun but that hasn't stopped many of the cast - including Spencer and Heidi, Audrina and Whitney - from signing up for the reboot The Hills: New Beginnings that premiered this week.

If one of them is spotted wearing a silky neck scarf - either around their neck or on their head - in the next episode, that's all the proof we'll need that we've been transported back in time.

Mischa Barton and Perez Hilton don't like each other.

I mentioned this earlier because it's very, very important.

Mischa Barton, of The O.C fame, is on the reboot of The Hills for reasons unknown and in the first episode, we saw her worry about seeing gossip columnist Perez Hilton at Stephanie Pratt's welcome home party.

The two are basically archnemeses as Perez has spent years slamming Mischa on his tabloid site.

"He just loved coming after me," she said on the show. "Perez was a total bully back in the day, he was awful to me and lots of other women."

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From the looks of next week's promo, things blow up between the two and we... can't wait.

The weird rumour The Simple Life is coming back.

On Wednesday, rumours were circling that Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are damn sick of 2019 and wanted to take us back to simpler times.

HOW GOOD WOULD THIS BE THOUGH. Image: Getty.

So, basically, the once-verified account of OG reality show The Simple Life tweeted a photo of the famous frenemies (if it's 2008, we still say frenemies) which had everyone losing their minds.

But... sadly it seems the rumour is not true. Maybe 2007, when The Simple Life ended, was just one year too far.

We've seen everyone on The Voice before.

In case you missed it, The Voice is currently on Australian screens for approximately 106 hours every week.

Although precisely nobody wants to admit to watching it, The Voice is one of the most popular shows on Australian television right now.

We are creatures of comfort, which is why we enjoy watching former semi-famous people like Australian Idol alumni Lee Harding and Hi-5 member Nathan Foley on The Voice Australia.

the voice
Nathan Foley. Image: Channel Nine.
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You cannot tell me there was an easier way to track Nathan from Hi-5 down than with a time machine.

People care about iTunes.

In early June, Apple announced the end of iTunes and surprisingly, people were genuinely upset.

If this was truly 2019 as we have been led to believe... no one would have cared because it would impact precisely no one, as we all would've moved onto streaming services like Spotify years ago.

We can (soon) watch as much Kath and Kim as our heart desires.

Kath-and-Kim-sticky-date-gif

In 2008 we were only just coming to terms with life without new Kath and Kim episodes after the series ended in late 2007.

But don't fear: There’s something noice, different and unusual coming to Netflix next month.

All four seasons of the cult Australian show, starring Jane Turner, Gina Riley and Magda Szubanski, will premiere on Netflix on July 30.

YES PLOISE, if we have all been bundled into an earth-size time machine, we don't want to go back.

2019 was... a bit shit anyway. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tags: entertainment-3 , news-stories , rogue , the-hills
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