Warning: This article contains details of child sexual abuse and suicide.
This week, Australians watched as Dr Staurt Kidd shared his harrowing experiences of sexual assault on ABC’s You Can’t Ask That.
It was difficult but important viewing, hearing the 60-year-old child sexual abuse survivor from the Blue Mountains speak of the abuse he and his little brother suffered, beginning from when he was just a toddler.
Tragically, it then emerged that Dr Kidd took his own life two months before his story went to air.
Now, earlier footage of Dr Kidd and his family appearing on the popular reality show Gogglebox has resurfaced, giving us an insight into the caring and funny husband and father who was lost too soon.
Videos from the 2015 Gogglebox series show the father-of-two laughing and telling jokes with his wife Janet, two sons Roger and Michael, and his daughter-in-law Elena.
Watch the Kidd family at a happier time on Gogglebox below. Post continues after video.
In one moment, Dr Kidd can be seen telling his daughter-in-law a joke about ‘double negatives’, a joke it appeared his family had heard many times before. He also enjoyed a glass of wine with his family, clinking glasses with his wife and sharing a loving glance.
At the time, The Blue Mountains Gazette spoke to a representative of the show about the Kidds’ newfound TV fame, which she said they merely saw as a way to spend more time together as a family.
“Janet and Stuart didn’t think anything of the request at first, but saw it as a way to get the kids to come home more often,” she said.
Following Wednesday night’s episode of You Can’t Ask That, Janet said she was “proud” of her husband for “putting his story out there”.
“My husband was a survivor of complex early childhood trauma for over 55 years. He had been sexually assaulted from a disgustingly early age. He never stopped trying to find help and healing. He was acutely aware of the terrible effect his struggles had on us, his family,” she said.
You Can’t Ask That‘s series producer/director Aaron Smith also paid tribute to Dr Kidd and the “profound impact” his appearance on the show would have on raising awareness of abuse survivors.
“In the very short time we knew Stuart, we were struck by his honesty, openness, strength and resolve in dealing with traumatic childhood experiences,” Mr Smith said.
“Stuart’s contribution to You Can’t Ask That will have a lasting and profound impact on the audience, helping to reduce stigma and increase awareness and understanding for survivors of sexual assault. We share our heartfelt condolences with Stuart’s family and friends.”
During his episode, Dr Kidd shared intimate, horrific details of the abuse he was subjected to throughout his childhood and adolescence, and how it continued to negatively impact upon his life.
“I was raped both ends by men 30, 40 years older than myself. And then by an older boy who I thought … I thought was a friend. And then by older men again as a teenager,” he said. “I was just being myself being a boy, paying the consequences for it.”
“I tried to suicide when I was 11 three times because I was such a piece of filth that the world needed to be rid of me. Deep down, despite 30 years of therapy, I still think it’s my fault."
He also acknowledged his own personal strength, which many will remember him for.
"The most useful fact is that my therapists, the repeated line has been 'we cannot believe that you have performed, that you managed to get through university, to become a doctor, to work overseas, to work in a third world country in an appalling environment and you've managed to carry on a career for 35 years'," he said.
"Because I'm a fucking miracle."
To donate, please visit the the Survivors And Mates Support Network.
You can watch Dr Stuart Kidd tell his story on You Can't Ask That on ABC's iView.
If this article has raised any issues for you, you are urged to contact the Survivors and Mates Support Network on 1800 472 676, 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or beyondblue on 1300 22 4636. If you need urgent crisis support, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Top Comments
I had not kept up with the news. I love the ABC series "You cant ask that", so I sat down to binge on the episodes on iview. As a child sexual assault survivor myself I approached viewing this episode with a mixture of interest and trepidation. I was so impressed by the grace, the honesty and plainly apparent suffering of this brave man, the amazing strength that despite the demons and self loathing installed by the pattern of abuse, he had pushed on, performed as a Doctor and surgeon was miraculous to me.
What a wonderful role model, how incredibly wrong and tragic an innocent child, an intelligent compassionate man was so damaged by vile selfish paedofiles. The grooming process, the roping in of his younger brother, that fact that despite being an intelligent compassionate man, and decades of therapy in his heart the person he blamed most for his assault and abuse was himself.
I had to stop in the middle of the episode and google this man, learn more about him... I was even more impressed with the effortsthi man had made, what he had given back to otherin need... Then to see he had finally given up his fight to live, that those abusers finally took his life, that he was finally at peace, cut to my heart.
One of the greatest tradegies to me is how many people, victims of assault do not, can not, report to authorities (myself included). That reporting retraumatised, and if you donot have good evidence, do nothing to change anything other than damage your own life. I understand the need for proof of abuse, but so often what can a child do, especially years later when they realise how wrong everything is. When you have been groomed you feel like a active partcipant , guilty too, disgusted by yourself at what you are (though logically you know it is notntrue).
I was lucky, my abuser got sick and died. Then as you get older, you wonder about what child pornography materials were born from the abuse, if in a way if the abuse is ongoing. I did not have the added worry that my failure to report meant more children were suffering. But I still felt guilty. It still was a secret that ate at my soul, I still internalise the guilt. I wonder if he also abused his own children, if those children lost both their abuser and their father when he died. It still played a huge role in shaping who I am. I don't blame all my mental health problems on these events, but it is definitely part of the storm.
I too struggle daily with suicidal urges, blame myself for my problems, my failure to be functional. I feel such empathy and admiration for Dr Stuart Kidd and his family. I am glad he is no longer suffering. The world has lost a remarkable man.