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Mamamia recaps SAS Australia: NO. THEY’RE GOING TO MURDER FIRASS.

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Goodness.

We open on base camp, where the celebrities are sleeping peacefully in their freezing cold dorm room.

But the silence doesn't last long.

Instead, the angry British men burst into the dorm room to randomly attack the celebrities... with guns. 

The recruits rush to an evacuation assembly point but after trailing behind the rest of the group, Candice is detained in the dorm room by the angry British men.

After noticing that Candice is missing, Firass runs away to rescue her, which seems totally unnecessary, but okay. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh... dear.

The angry British men have noticed that naughty boy Firass is missing. And they aren't happy, thank you very much.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING PLS?

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As the rest of the celebrities search for him, Firass arrives at the dorm with a weapon (???) to rescue Candice who has just been untied by the angry British men.

Firass bursts through the door and immediately shoves the weapon INTO ONE OF THE ANGRY BRITISH MEN.

EXCUSE ME WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING? 

WE'RE 100 PER CENT CERTAIN THAT SHOVING A WEAPON INTO THE DS WASN'T PART OF THE GOD DAMN CHALLENGE, FIRASS.

NO.

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???????

"Get that f**king thing away from me, you d**khead," the angry British man responds.

"Give me the pole, you prick," another adds.

Later on, the angry British men lecture Firass in front of his fellow classmates recruits. 

They show the group Firass' weapons and they're just as confused as we are. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But... why?

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IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

Angry James Bond asks the group to present their compasses. Everyone has one... except for naughty boy Firass. Obviously.

"Where is your compass?" Angry James Bond asks.

"I don't have pants on, sir," he replies, giggling. 

WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? 

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Angry James Bond sends Firass to find his compass. He returns with his pants, while knowingly leaving his compass with his belongings. Mate, pls.

"It's not in here, sir, it's in my locker box," Firass says.

Oh... no. 

ANGRY JAMES BOND HAS LOST IT.

"WHY ARE YOU F**KING LYING TO ME THEN," Angry James Bond responds.

"I JUST GAVE YOU THE CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF. WHY ARE YOU F**KING WASTING MY TIME?"

Oh dear.

It's the next day and the celebrities are having a secret b*tch about Firass.

They devise a plan which involves, a) attempting to convince Angry James Bond to kick Firass out, and b) staging a full-blown intervention. 

First up, Merrick approaches Angry James Bond. He tells him that the group is struggling with Firass' naughty behaviour.

But Angry James Bond isn't having it.

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"It's not your decision, innit?" he responds.

"We decide if he deserves to be here. He's on the course. You have to make it work."

Goodness. It's time for Plan B. 

"I think your behaviour dictates your actions, and your actions dictate team results. The team results are bad," Merrick tells Firass.

"I don't trust you. To be paired up with you, I'm worried," Sabrina adds.

"I'm asking you as a man of integrity to hand your armband in," Shannan chimes in.

But despite all their pleas, it... doesn't work.

"I can't hand in my arm band. I belong here," Firass responds.

Yep, they're not getting rid of him. 

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Now that the morale in the group is completely and utterly broken, it's time for the recruits to run around a field with 20kg on their backs, which sounds... fun. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

While Sabrina, James, Merrick, and the Honey Badger are beating the group, Jackson is seriously struggling.

Trailing behind at two kilometres behind the rest of the celebrities, Angry James Bond asks him whether he wants to continue the challenge.

He rips off his armband and decides to leave the show.

"You are so far behind but personally, you have come so far," Angry James Bond tells him.

Back at the base camp, Jackson calls his dad Shane.

"I did it all."

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"Guess what, I tried everything," he tells him.

"I did everything. I ate all the food, I did all the rope courses, I did all the water stuff. I learnt so much. It's changed my life."

Bye, Jackson. We'll never forget watching you try tomato soup for the first time.

Later on, the recruits are sent to the gossip shed to watch video messages from their family and friends.

It's all very emotional:

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Candice is the last celebrity to watch her video message.

Her husband, David, and two of their children appear on the screen.

"I love you, Mum. I miss you. I hope you're going okay," one daughter says.

"Mum, I wish you would come back now," the other adds.

Suddenly, Candice slams the laptop shut.

"My biggest strength but also my biggest weakness is leaving my kids for the first time," she says.

UNTIL MONDAY NIGHT.

Catch up on the rest of our SAS Australia recaps here:

Mamamia recaps SAS Australia Episode 1: THESE BRITISH MEN ARE REALLY ANGRY.
Mamamia recaps SAS Australia Episode 2: Dammit. 50 per cent of the gossip just walked off the show.
Mamamia recaps SAS Australia Episode 3: The celebrities are starting to look utterly... broken.
Mamamia recaps SAS Australia Episode 4: EVERY SINGLE PERSON WANTS FIRASS TO LEAVE.
Mamamia recaps SAS Australia Episode 5: Oh. This just turned into an episode of The Bachelorette.
Mamamia recaps SAS Australia Episode 6: This show just got completely out of control.
Mamamia recaps SAS Australia Episode 7: These challenges are getting... out of hand.

Feature Image: Channel Seven.

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