by REBECCA SPARROW
That’s the question, I’m asking.
Does baby formula need to be under lock and key in hospitals in order to encourage new mothers to breastfeed their babies rather than relying on baby formula?
I don’t know what you think but I can tell you what New York’s Mayor Michael Bloomberg thinks. He thinks ‘yes’. Which is why next month the city is implementing a program that aggressively promotes breastfeeding to new mothers in the city’s hospitals by locking up the baby formula …
Lawyer and writer Jacoba Urist wrote about it for The Wall Street Journal blogs:
Formula – locked for whose protection?
Starting September 3rd, under the “Latch on NYC” initiative , the City will monitor the number of formula bottles hospitals use, by keeping them in the same kind of lock-boxes they use to store medications.
So far, 27 of the New York’s 40 hospitals have signed on, agreeing to toss out formula-branded items like lanyards and mugs and to document a medical reason for every bottle a newborn receives— treating formula like a prescription drug.
With each formula bottle a mother requests, she’ll get a lactation lecture about why she should use breast milk instead.
NYU Medical’s spokesperson told The New York Post that they’ve already adopted the program. The Post reports that NYU’s breastfeeding rate has jumped from 39 to 68 percent of new mothers since they implemented it.
I’m all for women breastfeeding if they want to (as I did). The health benefits of breast milk are persuasive. We should support mothers who choose to breastfeed with things like greater social acceptability and public lactation rooms.
But Bloomberg’s program forces women to defend a valid request for baby formula. It preys on women in the days (sometimes hours) after they deliver a baby.
If I, a fairly confident, opinionated lawyer, had trouble standing up to the breast-feeding brigade at the hospital, before the Bloomberg lockdown, I can only imagine what New York moms face today. Or come September.
To say that Urist’s words ring true for me in an understatement. Earlier this year I gave birth to my son Fin in a Baby Friendly Health Initiatives accredited hospital — a global initiative that is strikingly similar to the one Urist describes above.
Bec with Fin
Not that I should really even need to tell you this but Fin was premature. My milk took a loooong time to come in. And my son was losing weight. So my pediatrician instructed that he go on formula for ‘top up’ feeds. An issue that clearly didn’t sit well with some of the midwives.
Several of them – not all but more than one – made me feel like a negligent mother for giving my baby formula.
I’m a forty-year-old woman who is hardly a wall flower. And yet three days after giving birth, I just stood there and allowed myself to be berated by a midwife at the ward’s front desk – in front of several people – for ‘not trying hard enough’ to breastfeed. She publicly reprimanded me for not expressing milk every two hours throughout the night. I had tried but frankly I was EXHAUSTED. Actually exhausted doesn’t even convey how I felt. I’d been sleeping an average of two hours per night in the lead up to Fin’s birth. I was mentally fried by the time I reached hospital. Regardless, this midwife castigated me. I went back to my room and sobbed.
Worse was the loudly unspoken message that what I was doing — giving my son some formula – was ‘disappointing’. Even irresponsible. It, at times, felt like blatant bullying at a period in my life when I was at my most fragile.
It was the facial expressions certain midwives made when I asked for the formula. It was the ever conflicting advice on how best to feed the formula to him. (Every midwife had a different opinion: Syringe! Teat! Dropper! I found myself getting anxious whenever there was a change in shift). It was the way in which I was gravely presented with forms to sign when I requested the formula for Fin which reinforced the notion that what I was doing was detrimental to his well-being. It was being made aware that there needed to be two staff to ‘witness’ the formula being ‘signed out’ of the cupboard. All strategies, if we’re going to be completely honest, designed to make mothers who choose formula to feel awkward. Uncomfortable. Guilty. These initiatives seem hell-bent on communicating to formula-feeding mothers that their choice is the wrong one. And believe me, I got that message loud and clear.
That’s why, I truly believe the pendulum has swung too far. I’m all for breastfeeding. I so, so am. I breastfed my daughter Ava for 12 months and only weaned her because I was rather desperate (read: obsessed) with getting pregnant again. I loved breastfeeding. I loved how good it was for Ava. I loved the convenience. I loved the intimacy of it. I loved the fact there was no washing up to do afterwards (always a bonus). I planned to do the exact same thing with Fin. But as we all know… life doesn’t always go to plan.
That’s why I genuinely fear these initiatives are not about hosptials having a pro-breastfeeding stance but an aggressive anti-formula feeding one. And there’s a big difference. And I’m not convinced it’s playing fair.
By all means educate mothers about the myriad benefits of breastfeeding. Give them access to lactation consultants round the clock. Provide a supportive, nurturing environment for breastfeeding. Offer tips and advice about how to tackle obstacles along the way like mastitis. Low supply. Expressing. Yes, yes to all that. But once a mother knows all the facts and she still chooses not to breastfeed (or to combine breast and formula feeding) for whatever reason … her choice needs to be respected. Not tolerated through gritted teeth and rolled eyes.
I mean, come on. Formula being LOCKED UP? In case – what? – a breastfeeding mother goes rogue one night and attempts to formula feed her baby without permission.
Remind me again why she needs permission? Remind me again why it’s any of the hospital’s business?
I know that breastmilk is far, far superior but it’s baby formula, people. Not crystal meth.
I’m not writing this post to stir up trouble. To get hits. To generate argy-bargy. I’m just someone who has experienced the negative aspect of these ‘breastfeeding initiatives’ firsthand. And I know for sure I’m not alone.
Let me be clear: I’m not saying that ‘Latch on NYC’ or the BFHI initiatives are a bad idea. Not at all. I fully support programs designed to actively encourage breastfeeding. I’m just saying, really loudly: Could we just lose the attitude that seems to go along with it? And is it really necessary to behave as though feeding a baby formula is akin to child abuse? For every mother who is won over to breastfeeding, I suspect there’s another who leaves hospital feeling like she’s already failed for not doing so.
Ultimately, the best mother is a happy mother. However her baby is fed. I hope you’re listening, New York.
Mia feeding Fin
Publisher’s note from Mia Freedman: To preemptively answer some of the comments I know will arise from Bec’s post, I wanted to provide some background. The impetus for this story came from a tweet by 7:30 journalist Leigh Sales who linked to the story about the New York agreement and expressed her surprise that such a thing was happening.
Having been with Bec in hospital when she experienced the incidents she wrote about, I witnessed it first hand and asked if she’d like to write about her view.
It’s worth noting that Leigh Sales, Bec and myself all breastfed our babies. I tell you this to deflect any accusations of myself or Mamamia being anti-breastfeeding. We are patently not and have published pro-breastfeeding articles on the site many many times including this wonderful one from Tara Moss, UNICEF Patron for Breastfeeding for the Baby Friendly Health Initiative (BFHI).<
I have personally written many positive articles about breastfeeding (that could even be described as ‘stridently positive’) including this one, and this one. And in the hospital that day when Bec was in tears, I was giving her gentle, loving advice on how to increase her milk supply because I knew how committed she was to breastfeeding.
So, health professionals and breastfeeding advocates by all means encourage women to breastfeed if it’s the best thing for them and their baby and they want to do it. But treating them like criminals and treating formula like some illegal drug is both uneccessary and insulting. It’s awful for vulnerable new mothers and it gives a bad name to the vast majority of midwives who aren’t so hardline.
In honour of World Breastfeeding Week which ended yesterday, our sister site iVillage published a gallery of celebrities and iVillage readers breastfeeding their babies.We strongly suggest you click through the images here. They will warm your heart.
How can we encourage women to breastfeed, without demonising those who don’t want to or are unable to?
Comments
488 Comments so far
We are a gay male couple who had a child via surrogacy. When our son was born in the USA (via surrogacy) of course the option of breast feeding simply wasn’t there (and no, we didn’t want the surrogate to breastfeed and nor did she want to do it).
We went straight on to formula and it was great.
I struggle to understand how midwives and other women can judge another person who chooses (for WHATEVER reason) to bottle feed. A happy healthy baby is far more preferable than a stressed mother, father and baby. I really think if a midwife or doctor tells you it is wrong or disapproves, remind them that you are paying their wage and that you are the client (patient). And if they continue, lodge a formal complaint for harassment. See how quickly the hospitals clean up their acts once a few dozen formal complaints are lodged.
The wonderful thing about bottle feeding is that both parents can do it, they share the load, the responsibility and the JOY of holding a child in the dark at 2am feeding them. We were very lucky to be able to experience that.
Being a gay couple, we were lucky we were never lectured on “breast feeding” as I doubt I would have been particularly polite to the person thinking it was ok to preach. It is just another form of vile evangelism.
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I’m a doctor. And one of my very experienced doctor friends just had a baby. She had a lot of trouble with supply in the early days and the midwives dared to tell her it was because “she had chosen to have an epidural”.
We both knew this was NOT the case and pulled them up on it, how dare they make her feel guilty by throwing around ridiculous accusations with no science or evidence behind them?
Most midwives I know are wonderful and I’m all for breast feeding but these early days are a frightening and vulnerable time for new mums. Don’t give more fuel to postnatal depression…. signing out formula, what a joke..
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I am another Mum who was desperate to breasfeed. However, after trying every 2-3 hours in hospital, on Day 4, Emily had lost 14% of her bodyweight. All those hours of “breastfeeding” I was only starving my tiny angel because my breastmilk supply had not kicked in.
The midwives were almost all wonderful. The pedeatrician prescribed breastmilk while I tried to build up my supply using every method known to science. It took 2 1/2 months, and Emily never latched on, but she eventually received almost every feed in expressed breastmilk until she reached 6 1/2 months. 6 sessions of expressing milk, totalling 3 hours every day, 4 courses of motilium and an industrial strength breast pump that cost hundreds in hire fees.
All this and I’m a single mum who has had to work part-time since Emily was a week old. I thank God for those wonderful midwives, especially my last midwife before I checked out, who said “you need to relax, and have permission not to feel you need to breastfeed. If you can give her expressed milk, that is great too.” I just cried.
I hated giving my baby formula, but I had to, and they fed my baby girl the way I just coudn’t.
And I swear I would have delivered a smack to the chops for anyone who tried to deliver a lecture about formula every time I had to beg for a bottle.
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I think it’s really sad that this media circus will probably stop some people from signing up to a breastfeeding education class. I thought I knew heaps about breastfeeding before I had my baby, having lots of friends who breastfeed, but the info we received in the class (including the great breastfeeding handbook that you get with the class) was so useful when we had problems. And my husband had the same info so could make suggestions that were really helpful too. Informing yourself about breastfeeding before you have the baby, and finding out where you can get help if there are problems is really worthwhile.
I do think it’s sad that a debate that is supposed to be about ABA services and training has got so much off topic posting on midwives, hospitals, justifications for breastfeeding not working out, and the right to choose formula – all of which has nothing to do with the original issue.
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I just wanted to share that with my first baby I experienced the same as Rebecca Sparrow in relation to breastfeeding. I had an emergency C section. My baby would not latch on for the life of me and I was becoming very stressed out. I was in hospital for 9 days and on day 7 I said to the widwives that this is not working and changed to bottle feeding. From that time all of the widwives igored me until I left. It was a terrible experience for a first time mother.
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I had a similar experience to the author of this post … when my bubs wouldn’t latch after 48 hrs and screamed and screamed etc when we continuously tried for the next 24 hours (and due to various other medical issues I have that effect breastmilk, I found out later!) I asked for formula for her.
The midwives were not happy to oblige. Now, I am not backwards in coming forwards in moments that are important – as this was.
They gave me every argument under the sun for trying and trying to breastfeed BUT they had no clue about my medical history, didn’t even ask about it. When I asked them (on a hunch) if my PCOS (and other things) could affect breastmilk they said “no” (turns out it does actually).
In the end, I demanded formula leaving no room for argument afterwhich my bubs slept happily for four hours before she needed feeding again.
Needless to say, we checked out of the hospital within 2 days of bubs being born by C section (I was fine and she was super healthy). Hospitals are not for me.
I persisted with trying to get her to latch BEFORE I fed her formula but she never wanted to after the first 48 hours. It just wasn’t for her and given what I know of her personality now, it’s no surprise
Anyhow, SOME midwives (ALL of the ones I came into contact with) – as well intentioned as they are – do not know all about breastfeeding etc as I was led to believe. They just aren’t educated enough.
They are not lactation consultants!
*I* am my child’s mother and only myself and my husband can make the decision as to whether it will be breast or formula.
End of story. Too bad if others don’t like it or agree. I just don’t care.
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Both my babies latched on within minutes of birth & I happily continued for almost 2 years….but not everyone is that lucky….I’m pretty laid back (lazy) and wouldn’t have wanted all the hassle of bottles, or the expense. I liked the idea of passing on infection fighting antibodies through my breast milk plus the fact that it is perfectly designed and easily digestible for human babies…as opposed to cows babies! Not to mention the protection from cancer and my body contacting back into shape with every feed…wow…now that really is magic! I actually loved all the funny sensations too…the let down reflex especially. The womb contractions were intense for a week or two I think, but not as bad as period pains. The milk coming in stage was probably the most surprising part though as even though my first baby had already suckled for a few days on colostrum from my normal sized boobs I woke up one morning looking like I’d had a boob job done….they were so massive & rock hard ( this didn’t happen as noticeably with my 2nd baby though). As it’s almost impossible for babies to latch on when your boobs are that full I quickly figured out how to let baby get the flow going, then take baby off (as otherwise it would squirt down his throat & choke him), use a breast pad to soak up the excess (or it would squirt all over the place!), then let baby settle down for a relaxed feed. I knew how the length of time you feed for is important (and to try not to let baby fall asleep straight away) as the foremilk is the fluid/drink part of the feed and the hindmilk is richer and has most of the nutrients. I never supplemented or expressed milk, or had worries about how much milk my babies were getting…(we co-slept at night so my boobs were always within inches of my babies mouths!) both my babies were (and still are!) at the opposite ends of the growth spectrum charts, yet I did exactly the same with them both.
There is so much to learn about the changes your body undergoes whilst pregnant and most mums seem eager at that stage to learn all about them but somehow once the baby is born the focus seems to switch to the baby’s sleep routine, changing nappies, buying baby clothes & equipment, the disturbance of visitors, etc…..when really your body is only just getting started on the job it is designed to do and you are just as physically connected to your baby as you were when you were pregnant. I believe in babymoons…. being in a little cocoon with your baby for a good couple of weeks…if not months if you have that luxury. I’d waited a long time to be a mum because of infertility and miscarriages, at one point I didn’t think I would ever have a 2nd child, so for me, both times these experiences were a priviledge, to be enjoyed and cherished.
When my sister had her first baby at 39 she was told she shouldn’t leave hospital until breastfeeding was established, but desperate to get out of being under the breastfeeding ‘spotlight’ shall we say… she asked me to help her to do at home what the midwives hadn’t managed to achieve…to help her to feed her newborn with an inverted nipple one side. I would have preferred her to stay in hospital as it was scary to think my tiny newborn niece was waiting for me to teach her mum to breastfeed before she could get any food! Meanwhile my brother-in-law was putting pressure on my sister to ‘hurry up and decide to breast or bottle feed’. I stayed as calm as I could and tried to pass that on to my sister ( I made sure no one else disturbed us!) and at every feed helped her latch the baby on in a comfortable position on the unaffected nipple. We tried on the affected side too but without much success. I allayed all her fears….yes you can keep feeding on one boob, yes if you need to…supplement with formula feeds but make sure the ratio is in favour of your boobs or your supply will diminish, drink loads, eat well, keep baby near you, on you, smelling you…all the usual stuff…and amazingly she fed this way for around 6 months…I was incredibly impressed with my baby sister and so glad I stayed at her home that first week to help her out and that she trusted me to help her find a way through her breastfeeding difficulties.
So I guess the key to successful breastfeeding is all the things we already know…clear information, troubleshooting when issues arise, perseverance (the first few days & weeks are the hardest), and unbiased help and support from everyone, husbands, mothers, sisters, midwives….as there is such a small window of opportunity to get breastfeeding established I can see why hospitals are getting over zealous about it…but I think it will be counter productive as no one will stick around to be lectured and people will be smuggling in emergency cans of formula before they’ve even given breastfeeding a go!
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An excellent post guest
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Why couldn’t there be a SENSIBLE solution to a situation like this? Presumably there are a number of lactating mothers in a maternity hospital, so I would have thought it would be a simple matter to whip a bottle around to ask for a small donation of milk from each mother to feed this preemie (or any other) baby whose mother’ milk hasn’t come in yet. To me, it’s a no-brainer,.
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Good idea in theory however in practice there is NO WAY I would take milk from another lactating mother without it being TESTED FIRST.
Now THAT’s a no brainer!
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The idea of putting away tins of formula is to help prevent the lazy midwives/nurses from flippantly telling mothers that they need to formula feed, when they should be assisting mothers to breastfeed and teaching them how and giving mothers strategies for when troubles starts. Hospitals also need to spend more time educating their staff so that they can give mothers the right information so mothers aren’t confused. BFHI is a great start, but we also need the worlds hospitals to be accredited under the 10 steps of the International MotherBaby Childbirth Organization, which breastfeeding accreditation is but 1 step.
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If you knew how overworked staff are in any hospital you would not call them lazy.
Putting the tins away is not to help midwives out. It is 1. To help preven theft and 2. Often left in the nursery only for prem/sick babies.
Staff are educated on breastfeeding. Yes, continuing education is good, but half the time staff can’t even make it to a team meeting because they’re so busy.
To gain BFHI accreditation a hospital must follow the 10 steps reccommended anyway. I’m wondering just how much you actually know about maternity services.
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They aren’t banning formula, just encouraging better use of it. There should be proper, considerate, respectful encouragement and support for breast feeding first, and if it’s not an option and / or after counseling, then formula is an acceptable alternative and should be made available if needed (but alternatives like donor milk should also be encouraged over formula, and formula use could be made safer through use of appropriate water and heating methods – some states in the USA have warnings on their water bill that fluoridated water is NOT suitable for mixing formula, and microwaving formula in plastic bottles can’t be ideal). However the current low rates of breast feeding and the short time most babies are breast fed is NOT ideal. Formula will NEVER be as good as breast milk, every child has a right to breast milk, so if locking up the formula encourages more women to breast feed, the outcome for child health will be better. They aren’t talking about not letting people give their babies formula, just trying to help women do what is right for their babies without so much pressure to become dependent on a product that needs to be purchased and is not as good as the real thing!
Remember how much trouble Nestlé got into years ago for “babymilk pushing”? Encouraging women to use formula from birth ensures a guaranteed customer and increased profits!
However there are plenty of other alternatives to encourage more and longer breast feeding that really ought to be implemented first. Caring lactation consultants / midwives / doulas etc that are helpful and respectful is a good start. Enabling women to pump at work could help, as could other supportive measures. Having a fully functional donor milk bank is an excellent idea also.
Discussing the merits of breast milk and breast feeding and encouraging more of it is NOT criticizing those who can’t do so for whatever reason.
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What a great article, have similar experiences with a prem baby and no milk.
Fortunately was second bub so I had experience from first. The midwives tried to make me feel like I was a drug pusher. After 24 hrs no milk and one very hungry and unhappy little newborn I insisted on formula.
I met all the disapproval as per the others-without alternate solutions, which I had to suggest myself (electric pump to bring milk on).
What would have happened to the first time mother who didn’t know? Or was too intimidated?
I had a (non-mother) midwife come in to lecture me on my choices of how my baby would probably end up preferring the bottle over breast. I told her I preferred my baby alive and healthy and after having two still borns I didn’t really care how or what she ate.
They didn’t discuss it again after that.
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I agree there shouldn’t be judgement and pressure, but it doesn’t sound like you were provided with much education either and that’s probably the most important part of breastfeeding.
You shouldn’t expect to have your milk come in for about 3 days and it can take up to 7 days to come in. Babies are often fairly tired and sleepy the first 24 hours and alert and hungry the 2nd day. The constant feeding helps bring in your milk and the more often you feed, the greater the supply. Not a fun day, to be sure, but it has it’s purpose. Using a breast pump before your milk comes in will not help at all and should not be attempted. Even if you become very engorged when your milk does come in, you should only express if you really need it, because of the supply/demand thing.
A midwife whether she be a mother or not still has the same qualifications and knowledge. All motherhood does is gave you an understanding of what it feels like to be on the other side. I’ve worked with some wonderful midwives that don’t have kids, or are actually men. Would you expect your surgeon to have had the operation that they’re about to perform on you? I don’t think so.
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I’m not a mother, I’m a Nanny, but I could never see myself berating someone for the choice that they made. My mother bottle fed myself and my two brothers because it was HER choice and she was backed my Grandmother who was a maternity nurse. Nan actually warned Mum that there would be women who would be coming around and advocating breasfeeding; Mum said that no one approached her, but Nan straight out told her not to worry about what these women said and to do what was right for HER. My poor aunt had such a horrible experience when seven days after giving birth to my cousin he got sick and had to be taken back to hospital, at five months she wasn’t producing enough milk and started to give him formula before bed because we wasn’t getting the food that he needed. When she took him in to the community nurse for his check up, she was lectured and berated over how she wasn’t breastfeeding and that by feeding him formula she was confusing him – she was much more worried that my aunt wasn’t breast feeding than being worried that my cousin wasn’t getting enough food which I would have thought would have been the main priority.
Like I said, I’m not a mother and I’m not even pregnant but people need to get it into their head that it’s the MOTHER’S choice whether to formula feed or breastfeed. For some mother’s they can’t breastfeed and they feel so bad that their bodies can’t provide for their children, to have another person come up and ridicule them for something that they have no control over; and while I believe that breastfeeding is something that you should try I’m not going to lecture someone if they decide that it’s not for them.
Inform people about the benifits but don’t try and shove it down a new mother’s throat when there are more important things to worry about, like the emotional, physical and mental well being of the mother and child. Inform but don’t make the choice even harder by locking away something that could very well be the only was a baby might be able to get the nutrients that they need if a mother is unable to feed their baby like they want. By locking away formula you’re just adding a stain to an already stressful and emotional time.
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Haven’t read any of the comments, but when I was in hospital with my youngest son, I was so impressed by the midwives I met.
The lady opposite me was a young (say 25 year old) woman, it was her second baby. The midwives asked how she was feeding, “I’ll be formula feeding”, without hesitation they showed her where the items were kept and if she needed any help. I was a little gobsmacked, I thought she’d get “the lecture” but this is the way it should be. Let the mother decide. Everyone knows breast milk is better, doesn’t mean people who bottle feed instantly don’t have their reasons.
I was impressed.
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Why is there soo much focus on what or how we feed our kids, lets all just be kind to eachother and accept eachothers choices. I am so sick of these “mummy wars”,and now a mother of just 2 kids- I am officially too tired to judge any other mother – we don’t always know why people do what they do- just do what you can to get by, parenting is difficult enough. I think we should all just focus on raising healthy, happy, secure, decent little people. Look at the grand picture. I think it is more important to make sure your little person doesnt turn into a criminal.
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As someone who won’t ever be able to breastfeed without putting my mental health at severe risk (I would have to continue being off psych medication after being off it for the entire pregnancy), the fact that I could be bullied while in a vulnerable state is really scary. I hope by the time I have children the pro-breastfeeding group is less militant. The fact is that for some people breastfeeding just isn’t right and it shouldn’t be forced on anyone (especially if they have a good reason not to)
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SmittenKitten,
I did not breastfeed my son for psychological/emotive reasons. It astounded me the gall of people who did not know me. I had women come up to me in cafes asking how I could feed my child that ‘poison’. I also had nurses from the hospital say I must not love my child because I didnt BF.
Then I got to my mat health nurse who didnt give me any help because any problem I had with my son was put down to not Bfing. This has happened throughout my nearly two years of parenthood. Any Dr visit inc checkups begins with “Did you BF?”
Ultimately, the only thing you need to know is to ignore all the people who don’t have anything supportive to say. It isn’t their baby, it’s yours.
And for the record, FF will not make your baby stupid (as I have been told many times). In fact today at the supermarket I had a lady ask how old my son was and she didnt believe that a child who could converse as well as him was not even two yet. I must be doing something right
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If I were pregnant and reading this, I would bring some formula and bottles with me to hospital just in case…
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And that’s what I HATE about posts like this – it scares the shit out of people just like a bad birth story. I breastfed both my babies with very little effort, pain or inconvenience and so have many of my friends. I have no issue with bottle-feeding if that’s what you want but two of the biggest positives for me aside from the health benefits for bub was the ease of the weight-loss due to the prolonged breastfeeding and the convenience of it (no sterilising, mixing, added cost etc). Please don’t be put off by these stories!!!
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Thanks for your concern, I’m past the bottle vs breast debate now, but I’d be pretty scared if pregnant for the first time….
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I’ve breastfed 3 babies but think one of the main contributors to why women give up is this myth that if you are breastfeeding properly it shouldn’t hurt.
Breastfeeding hurts like sh!t in the first 2 weeks, even when you do know what you are supposed to be doing! Too many women are totally unprepared for that!
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Sooo true, I tell all my pregnant friends and they all look at me in shock.
No one tells them about the contractions, nor the nipple pain. I reckon the contractions were a 6/10 in pain, but they fade with every feed.
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first baby breastfeeding did not go well despite my efforts after many weeks to increase supply baby still hungry could only get 20-40mls expressed i really tried. Very sad when baby sucks and sucks and you just know still hungry but nothing left. Second baby i was more prepared and had done internet research. I got motillium straight away and i could just hear that baby gulping down milk from beginning which just never happenend with baby number one. This time around breastfeding has been the most stress free beautiful experience unlike the first time. The only difference was that these tablets boosted my supply by 3x. This drug does not work for all women but for me has worked like a dream. So i have walked both sides of the fence. Believe me nature does not bless all women with a bountiful supply of milk and supply and demand does not always work despite a woman’s best efforts. The drug itself is off label and not all doctors know about it as a lactation aid. I had to do my own reasearch. My point is why does my body fail to produce enough milk when not on the drug but when i am on the drug it is amazing for me. What is going on? if the doctors nurses lactation consultants could some how get more info about this drug and how it works and why it works for some women rather than article after article saying australian women aren’t doing enough breast feeding and for not long enough. We need some better research and understanding about what is happening to our milk supply and why some women just cannot seem to make enough despite best efforts. I know 4 women who took the drug and it increased supply nicely and for 2 other women it did nothing. Why? What is going on?
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i would love to hear from a nurse in one of these breast feeding hospital friendly accredited hospitals. Does management expect nurse staff to meet a certain target such as 80% of women on discharge must be breastfeeding (i think they do keep these stats). Are nurses getting pressure from higher up management. Just curious about what pressure the nurses are encountering?
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Breast feeding is a bit like riding a bike: easy if you know what you’re doing, incredibly tricky if you don’t. Imagine trying to ride a bike without having seen someone ride a bike or only in the distance.
I think hospitals could really help women with breastfeeding by inviting breastfeeding mothers to antenatal classes to show mums-to-be how it works. Eg how to get the whole lot in the baby’s mouth, the Special K lips, how to hold your breast, plus tips like wearing two T shirts, the bottom one a stretchy v neck so you can pull up the top t and pull down the bottom T so you can feed your bub in public without either your boob or tummy showing, etc. If you are pregnant, ask someone who breastfeeds to show you how it’s done, if you don’t know anyone, do some research if you can.
Of course locking up formula is ridiculous but if nothing else, hopefully it can stimulate discussion on how to promote breastfeeding. Guilt and angst will lower breast feeding rates not increase them. Stress and poor sleep are not great for milk production.
I am convinced the only reason I could breast feed my kids was thanks to a wonderful, patient midwife at the hospital. Most of the other midwives did the equivalent of just pushing me off on a bike and expect me to start peddling.
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And learning to ride a bike with a wonky wheel or a hole in a tyre wont always be easy or possible, just like a baby who wont co-operate or physically there are problems making it impossible for mum to continue, its not always black and white
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Absolutely, there are some women who cannot breast feed (lack of milk, nipple problems, bubble palate, etc). However, most women should be able to breast feed but most women don’t, or don’t for very long. Why? I don’t think it’s because of easy access to formula as implied from the “need” to lock it up.
In my opinion, I think nursing women sharing what they know about breast feeding with pregnant women before they face the challenge would help those for who the hurdles should be surmountable but currently are not.
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There are always going to be women who physically can breastfeed but for a whole range of reasons decide not to eg work commitments or because it doesn’t fit in with their family life etc We have to respect their choices.
What hasn’t been mentioned much is that even when breastfeeding goes well it can be a tremendous tie for the mother. Some women, for eg, (like myself) can feed but just cannot express milk. This means that for however long I breastfeed (which according to experts should be well into second year) I cannot be away from my baby for any length of time – particularly in the first 6 months. When you don’t have family around or a group of other mums for support and company this can be incredibly isolating, lonely and restrictive. Not to mention that many women have other children and commitments (eg financial) which means that it is simply not possible to be tied to your baby in that way.
I think we have to respect the fact that our low breastfeeding rates (which incidentally I would question – I think I have heard that these figures are a bit skewed because many women either comp feed or introduce solids before 6 months) are not to do with lack of education or support. The fact is that despite what experts tell you there are some women who CANNOT breastfeed and others who while they may be able to physically, cannot for a whole range of practical and psychological reasons.
Most importantly I think if you are one of the women (like myself) who can breastfeed we need to be careful not to be smug about it. For me luck and circumstances (I have had good maternity leave) was the most important factor in enabling me to feed successfully.
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i think its womens choice to breast feed sometimes it is not best for the baby to be breast feed because some moms are alcholics and drug addicts and there baby does not need to have there moms breast milk i just say its womens choice men dont know what its like to have a baby on your breast and then theres some that the moms milk does not come out enough theres all kinds of situations why it should be a choice not forced i myself had 7 kids tried breast feeding all but i was just not comfortable with breast feeding
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So its probably really old but i just came across this blog by the “are you MOM enough” woman.
I found it really good and i think other people might too,
http://www.blogher.com/what-breastfeeding-advocates-need-stop-saying
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I couldn’t agree more!! My experience was exactly the same. On the birth of my now 3 and a half year old twins girls I can’t begin to explain what a traumatic experience it was breastfeeding them.
From having the nurses and midwives milk me like a cow then attempting to feed my babies the minimal amount of breast milk they got with a small medicine cup, I wish had the knowledge and courage to stand up for myself and tell them to leave me the hell alone and do what is right for my babies. I asked for a lactation consultant only to be told they were all on holidays because it as Christmas period, then having a local midwife come to my home and tell me after 5 weeks that I hadn’t tried HARD enough to breastfeed. I had one wonderful nurse stay with me as long as she could helping me attach them in the football position. Then the next shift came around and when I asked for help the nurse came in and said (quote) “take your top off put them on your chest and they will find their way there!!!” and then proceeded to walk out the room.
Please everybody, I totally agree with MIxed Feedings comments below, please give people solutions on what to do if they are experiencing problems don’t isolate them by making them feel inadequate or a terrible mother for using formula.
And finally, Breast Feeding Association if you are wondering why there is such a low rate for mothers breastfeeding this is the reason why. Stop treating mothers like they are a criminal if they choose to give up breastfeeding or even co-feed, the answer isn’t going to be putting formula under lock and key!!
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I breast fed my first daughter, with one or two formula topups a day. No problems. Then number two arrived. My first born was 16 months old. I had low supply so she kept detaching. I paid hundreds to a private lactation consultant, went on meds and expressed. Nothing improved the situation so I approached the ECHC who were so supportive (“glad you’ve de iced to stop flogging that dead horse!”). I weaned at about three weeks. She is now a precocious 4 year old.
But I did all of that in an educated, developed country. I used clean water and bottles.
In PNG, where I now live, babies are fed watered down formula made with dirty water and put in dirty bottles. They die…regularly. So in some circumstances I agree with making formula by prescription only.
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My experience:
1. Not long after giving birth, midwife shoves reluctant baby onto my breast. Embarrassed teenage step-daughter is in the room. I’m too exhausted to protest but humiliation causes me to tense up to the point that feeding becomes impossible.
2. Two days of being “milked” by midwives, only to have one idiot accidentally throw the precious little she extracted down the sink.
3. Breaking point comes at day 3 where baby refuses to even try after the previous 2 days of being forced to latch on. I have major meltdown. Usually super-calm hubby storms out, drags “lactation consultant” into the room and demands she find a better way to do this.
4. Industrial strength breast pump is brought into my room. Baby gets expressed milk and supplemented with formula.
5. Everybody is happy. Paediatrician supports our decision and advises me to ignore the lactation consultant. Obstetrician says same.
6. Go to “reunion” with other Mum’s from prenatal class. I am the only one not breastfeeding and treated like I am abusing my child. It’s formula people, not poison!
7. 4 years later, I have one of the healthiest children I have ever encountered.
8. Ditto baby 2, only ten times worse as he was born in the UK and it is even worse there. Another healthy baby, never gets sick.
Nuff said!
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wow, i live near a maternity hospital, maybe I can make a quick buck selling black-market S26…
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I have one more thought to add to this discussion…
Percolating on this today and it occured to me that the two hour antenatal class I attended, which focussed entirely on breastfeeding, was really like a giant ad for breastfeeding. It eschewed all the benefits, promoted it’s naturalness and beauty,and I walked out smug and all mother-earthy. I then banged on to my friends about the wonders of breastfeeding.
Then I had a baby.
Now I won’t go on about my difficulties, but can I just say it involved an underweight baby, multiple house visits from midwives, medication, and one distressed set of parents.
Thinking back on that class, I feel cheated, resentful even. By all means promote breastfeeding. But what about some trouble shooting? What about case studies of problems women had and ways to overcome them? I cn never get back the first few weeks of my child’s life and the truth is I missed them because I was crying, distraught, a failure in my own eyes.
Thanks so very much for this article Bec and Mia.
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Thank you, you have the words I don’t “I can never get back the first few weeks of my child’s life and the truth is I missed them because I was crying,distraught.” Breastfeeding is preferrable, if it works. If it doesn’t it’s a horrendous nightmare and severely impedes the ability of the mother and baby to bond.
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Can I also say that I think Mia and Bec has the best attitude and way of expressing their point of view on this topic. They manage to explain the benefits and why its good to do but are understanding of why its not possible for some and how that is perfectly ok.
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It really is a tricky issue, promoting breastfeeding and informing people about the positives can feel like judgement to some. I think the idea of tracking the use of formula isn’t a bad one if it helps mothers in the future to breastfeed who may have not either by choice or medical reason. Keeping it locked up sounds dramatic but wouldn’t it be the same as nappies etc so things don’t go missing.
You have to do what is right for yourself and baby and I do believe some mums stop breastfeeding too soon because they don’t have support to help them over problems and thats a shame. I don’t understand when formula feeding is chosen before baby is born, why not give it a try?
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A personal decision to breastfeed or formula feed? What rubbish?!
Can every mum-baby have a successful and satisfying breastfeeding relationship? No.
Should every mum try to establish such a relationship? Absolutely!
I completely understand and empathise with those mums who, for one reason or another, cannot breastfeed successfully but I can’t understand mums who choose ahead of time not to at least offer the optimum food for their babies for those first crucial weeks.
Admittedly stretching the long-bow a fair bit, you wouldn’t CHOOSE to feed your child on a sole diet of MacDonalds, even with it’s now ‘healthier’ options, would you? But an occasional meal there won’t necessarily hurt. And, if Maccas was the ONLY food available, of course you would!
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I think comparing formula to McDonalds is a bit unfair
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You are a joke… Seriously, what a passive aggressive post! You protect yourself by saying you understand and empathise with mums who can’t feed, but then go on to compare them with mum’s who allow their kids to feed on Maccas 24/7! I think you need to look up the definition of empathy, you certainly don’t have it!
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…further to that, Maccas is not held under lock and key just for the record. It is freely available for all parents to feed themselves and their families, I believe it’s called freedom of choice! And to be honest, I wouldn’t have a clue how many times my friends and neighbors and coworkers feed their kids junk. I don’t ask as it is their business how they feed their children!!!
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Sorry, you have not right to judge. Mothers will and do make all sorts of parenting choices ahead of time and none of them are anyone elses business but the parents of that child.
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I am all for breast feeding…for others. Not for me. After breast feeding our son for 3 days and then watching him vomit up mothfuls of blood from my very sore nipples we decided that it was not for us. By god we had a much happier newborn once we switched to formula. A few of the nurses did not speak to us after that. Fortunately i did not care. With our second baby we took formula and bottles to hospital and the same nurses had no problem with it. Breast is best…but its not for everyone.
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I don’t have kids yet so I can’t speak from experience, but surely the highest priority is to feed the baby, not worry about formula v breast milk! It’s awful that women are having these horrible experiences at a time that should be full of joy.
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Hi Anon
Can I just say that on this kind of thread, you hear a lot of horror stories. Please be aware that plenty of mums breastfeed with little or no problems. Don’t be afraid to give it a go
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Am breastfeeding my 3 month old at the moment and have been topping him up with formula for three weeks after ‘failing to thrive’. After lactation consultants, Motilium, expressing etc my little baby continued to not gain weight and eventually started going backwards and lost weight.
I took matters into my own hands after continual ‘support’ from care providers. I knew he was a very sleepy baby and seemed to only rouse to have enough milk to keep him going rather than making him grow.
I was told to keep feeding around the clock, keep pumping etc etc. I was exhausted and trying to give equal attention to my other children and it just wasn’t working.
I now feel relaxed and am enjoying this time, knowing that my son is getting the nutrients he needs from myself and the additional milk from the formula.
Breastfeeding is hard and can be done, but sometimes you just have to make it work for yourself and do what makes you happy because that will make your baby happy.
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How you choose to feed your child is a personal choice. I was in the same position as Bec and my first born was premmie and I had been very sick and had very little milk. I was never berated for not trying hard enough but there were little comments said to me after expressing that I should have collected more milk than I did. It wasn’t like I was doing it on purpose, I had no control on how much milk I was generating. I was already feeling like a failure so comments like that just made me cry. I felt like I was letting my baby down and no one should feel like that. People who are purely pro breastfeeding need to understand that not everyone can do it and all this pressure on women needs to be lifted.
I managed to come to terms with formula and I have a beautiful, intelligent and happy two year old. No one can tell me that it has affected her in the slightest. I am expecting number two in a couple of weeks and once again I will try to breastfeed but this time if there are complications I am not going to punish myself with thoughts of failure because you can only do your best.
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As a midwife, reading all these comments is a bit depressing! Part of me wants to jump up and down and say we don’t all treat you like that-honest!! Hehe must be the “inferiority complex” that somebody else mentioned coming out in me
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Or you’re just not smart enough to be a doctor!*
*Sarcasm here, see my previous comments!
Yeah, it’s kind of hard hearing these comments, I will swear black and blue that I never did anything like that, but have watched other midwives walk into rooms, grab breast with one hand (the mother’s not her own) and baby with other, lock the two together and then walk out.
But where the heck is the middle ground here? Australia’s breastfeeding rates are low and we want to improve them, but without guilt tripping women into breastfeeding or making women who want to feed with formula feel like failures. And considering that a midwife’s regular spiel on feeding can feel like one woman’s informative discussion and another woman’s condescending lecture, I rather think that we’re never going to get it right.
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Just a suggestion… instead of hospitals locking up the formula, why don’t they focus on providing a dedicated lactation consultant to visit all new mums. I found that the midwives at my hospital were often torn in too many directions to really support me in learning a new skill like breastfeeding. After a traumatic hospital stay with my first child, I promised myself I would trust my own judgement with child no. 2. Unfortunately the sleep deprivation and hormonal changes didn’t help me in doing so. I had an horrific stay in hospital and a week after arriving home, had to pay $200 to a private lactation consultant to come to my house and help me work out how to feed my little girl. The consultant was caring and most importantly FLEXIBLE. She explained why she believed that expressing was best (I had badly torn nipples and baby was losing weight) but still gently worked through a plan WITH ME using supplementary formula feeds to get baby to put on weight. I love breastfeeding. I am forever prejudiced against midwives because of the treatment I received. It’s clearly an issue for the profession in the long term that so many women are telling the same story as me.
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You do realise that a lot of lactation consultants are actually midwives too, don’t you?
I feel a bit like I’m flogging a dead horse here, but in Australia we don’t tend to stock formula, except for special care etc. the parents usually have to bring it in. I am talking about the public system too.
Apart from anything else, theft is a really common occurrence in hospitals and formula would definitely be a target.
We are not perfect as a profession, but peoples’ perception of what we say isn’t always what we intend and let’s face it, there are duds in every profession, as well as those having an off day. This does not excuse bad behaviour from my colleagues, but it can be dishearteningreading these comments.
I work in child health too and we cop a caning there too.
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Yes – I do realise that some midwifes are also accredited as lactation consultants and I also understand that doesn’t guarantee a higher level of care. On the last night of my hospital stay I found myself actually pinned up against a wall sobbing (almost hyperventilating from how hard I was crying), holding a screaming baby and being yelled at by finger pointing midwife who had told me she would soon be an accreditated lactation consultant. It was an horrific experience of bullying. In contrast the private lactation consultant I hired at home said much of the same things, but treated me with respect without yelling and finger pointing. I really believe that maternity wards are understaffed, and that hospital management use their employment of midwives on the staff roster as a PR tool (“we’re pro-breastfeeding”), in place of actual high quality breastfeeding training/support. I went to a private Brisbane hospital for both births and I should add that every second midwife I met was wonderful and trying her best. I just think that the odds for high quality care should be higher than 1 in 2 – especially when I’m paying for the service. Also, I think the the issue of mum’s being given formula extends further than whether it is locked up or not. I took in formula after my first hospital experience of milk coming in very late; baby getting jaundice; and the Paediatrician telling me to supplementary feed. For me the issue was about the way midwives express distain toward mum’s who choose to use formula. I don’t understand how Paediatricians seem to think formula supplementary feedings are ok, but midwives feel it is almost neglectful parenting. It’s a confusing message for new mums.
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Oh God, I agree entirely! The hospital I worked in did have some lactation consultants who were on duty sometimes. Sometimes. It all just comes down to money I suppose. I would have dearly loved to have had more time to spend with women while they were breastfeeding, but what with the sobbingly mountainous volumes of paperwork that had to be completed for both mother and baby, I’d get to the end of the shift and realise that I’d only spent maybe fifteen minutes helping a woman breastfeed. The fact that we’re booting women out the door after three days (to cut costs) doesn’t help at all either, most of the time their milk isn’t even in at that point.
Nothing would please me more than to know that someone whose specialty was breastfeeding was able to do that part, and do it well and consistently. But it all comes down to the same thing: money. Perhaps if people demanded it more vocally, it would be a service that was there more consistently.
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Don’t you just love early discharge??
There aren’t enough hospital beds for people, so wherever possible they’re encouraged to leave early, quite often with minimal support. The midwives who visit people at home (or in a hotel if you go private) are quite often rushed off their feet and things get missed.
We need more money for the health system, but at the moment budgets everywhere, but particularly Qld, are being slashed, so it’s just not going to happen.
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That’s why my number one recommendation to women having a baby is to go to a public hospital but hire a private midwife as well. One to one midwifery care antenatally, during and after birth. It would solve so many of the birth / breastfeeding related problems that crop up.
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Our local hospital and a few others in Brisbane run a caseload midwifery service. You get assigned a midwife during the antenatal period and he/she catches the baby and sees the pair for a short time after the birth.
It’s a very popular program and there is a huge wait list. The issue is there aren’t enough midwives to keep up with demand and they end up burnt out eventually. Due to the nature of the program, it’s not for every midwife either.
The private midwife thing isn’t a bad idea either. You could as the midwife set your own workload.
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You can get hold of a gun in the US with less hassle!
Formula Fan x 2 bubs.
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*Like*
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Thank you SOOO much for publishing this! I have had exactly the same experience. It is demoralising and exhausting to have to explain yourself to each new midwife at each shift change. So much for supporting women at a vulnerable time in their lives. Most who have ever given birth will know what a foggy, hormonal rollercoaster those first few days are – try adding to that breastfeeding troubles coupled with bullying midwives waving glossy brochures and recommending hospital TV programs showing a gadzillion women doing SO easily what for you and your baby is SUCH a struggle…
Again, thanks Bec for articulating this problem so well.
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Going to get attacked for this, but please save your energy. It’s just one experience and in no way am I judging anyone else for their beliefs or how their whole experience went or the choices they made, so please don’t judge me. Just accept it for what it is- my experience, not a lecture.
1. Read practically everything on pregnancy, birthing and breastfeeding.
2. Chose elective caesarian (just as well in the end as Ob said would have had emergency one…BIG BIG baby.)
3. Breastfed for two days – tongue tie, torticollis and own body working against me.
4. Chose bottle feeding.
5. 6+ hours sleep every night in hospital (not in a row!)
6. In hospital: up, showered, make-up, blow dried hair, baby bathed every day by 9.30am. Felt amazing and very much like myself. Enjoyed feeds, cuddling baby, visitors, reading, resting.
7. Unbelievably supportive and kind midwives.
8. Healthy, happy baby. Now 14 months and has never been sick, not once.
9. Healthy, blissfully happy mother.
10. = THERE IS ANOTHER WAY.
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My mother-in-law is completely mystified by the whole breastfeeding thing. Around 50 years ago she fed two children cow’s milk from day one (on the advice of the hospital). Formula has got to be a better option than that, LOL – especially if it makes Mum and Bub happy. Personally, I love breastfeeding, but I would never insist that it was the only option for another new mum. Good on you for working out a plan that suited you and your baby!
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Thank you Natalie! I must admit I was a bit anxious about checking back here to see if anyone had replied. You made my day!
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Aren’t most things locked up in a hospital? If anyone could just walk in and grab formula, panadol, bandages and other things off a shelf I imagine the rate of theft would be insane.
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I am so sorry you were made to feel like that Bec, it is really unfair.
I agree that the pendulum has swung too far, and regulations that were originally put in place to deal with parents who weren’t putting their children first are now starting to negatively impact those who truly want the best for their child, but for whatever reason, cannot breastfeed.
I agree that promoting breastfeeding is the best way forward, but putting formula under lock and key is not the answer.
But I don’t think it’s people like yourself they should be concerned with.
Statistics show that very few teenage mothers don’t breastfeed.
The reasons vary, some say they didn’t understand how hard it would be, some don’t fully understand the benefits of breastfeeding, and some are concerned that it will ruin the look and feel of their breasts, which they still see as entirely sexual.)
These are the people we need to be concentrating on (whatever your opinion of teen pregnancy is, it happens, so we have to deal with it), and encouraging to breastfeed.
We already know children born to teen mothers are more likely to be raised by a single parent, to experience poverty and to become teen parents themselves. Ensuring they are at least healthy babies is a step in the right direction.
I am definitely not saying that teenage mothers deserve to be bullied, like so many women are, but I think that’s where the education needs to be concentrated.
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Breastfeeding vs bottle feeding is such an emotive issue. Personally, I had a fantastic experience at Cabrini Hospital in Melbourne and thought the majority of midwives and nurses were amazingly supportive and educational. I attended there full day (free) breastfeeding clinic with Genevieve an amazing and senstive midwife – no squeezing breasts or grabbing nipples there! But I was shocked at how painful breastfeeding was! I kept setting little milestones to reach (make it to 4 weeks, 3 months, 6 months etc). Now I’ve almost reached 10 months and I honestly didn’t think I’d make it this long. I’ve been blessed with a super strong supply of milk (leading to many sleepless nights with engorged breasts) and I thank my lucky stars everyday. I have friends who were unable to breastfeed and then those that chose to stop sooner rather than later. I completely empathise with them and pass no judgement whatsoever. I really don’t know what I’d do next time round…..
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An observation…so many women on here seem to be recounting the same experience. One where they felt bullied. Where they were not supported and were encouraged to feel guilty. Where their breasts were ‘grabbed’ by midwives and where they felt a little bit, or a lot, like their emotional state didn’t matter.
Why not speak up? It doesn’t have to be a huge confrontational thing. I am sure all of you who felt this way or were treated this way are strong, articulate women…and you’re clearly not shy in offering an opinion!
My friend said to a midwife who vigorously grabbed her breast “Excuse me, there’s a person on the end of this breast!” It was just enough to cause the midwife to re-assess and apologise (they are really really busy and they deal with this every day, so I get why they can be a bit impersonal and brusque.) It was light-hearted and non-confrontational, it made the midwife realise her actions and my friend feel empowered. I know, because I was there.
And I know exhaustion, pain, sleep-deprivation and pregnancy hormones can make us all feel not like ourselves, so if this action isn’t or wasn’t possible at the time, put your experience in a letter to the maternity ward when you feel the fog lifting. If they don’t know, they can’t change!
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Whenever I was bullied by a midwife I was concentrating so hard on what I was trying to do, and was so out of it on painkillers, lack of sleep, hormones and general ill health that I didn’t realise what was going on until the bully had swept back out of the room as quickly as she had arrived.
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I think breastfeeding or not breastfeeding is such a personal decision. The fact is, no one really knows the situation of a new mother. The choice to bottle feed may not be desireable, but sometimes it is unavoidable, and I know I would choose bottle feeding anyday over a dehydrated baby who is loosing too much weight.
Everyone needs to mind their own. While you are worrying about how another mother is feeding her own baby, who is feeding yours?
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I had a brilliant experience at the North West Private Hospital in Brisbane. The midwives were terrific to me!
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I gave birth in a BFHI hospital. It didn’t stop the midwife from telling me I needed to give my 36 hour old son formula because he was feeding continuously!! Educate yourself ‘midwife’, that’s what newborns do to increase your supply!!! I was furious. Luckily I was educated enough it ignore her ( after sobbing for a few hours first). Just goes to show, opinions get in the way on both sides of the argument.
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Wow, how arrogant! Perhaps she was suggesting comp feeding to give you a break.
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No, she told me I didn’t have enough milk and to stop trying. I just wanted to highlight that everyone has an opinion, even the experts. Best thing we can do is educate ourselves, make decisions and stick to them, that’s how we can be good parents. My first son was comp fed, it was traumatic for me at first, but I stuck to my decision knowing that it was best for him. After my experience with my firstborn, I wanted to give BFing another shot. The midwife was wrong and my youngest is EBF.
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oh Bec, you have my sympathies
when my DD was just a few weeks old, she took ill, was admitted to a major Sydney hospital with dehydration
she was hopitalised for a week with a drip on her arm, while i had to sleep beside her bed, as i was breastfeeding…
coupled with severe exhaustion and stress during this time, my milk supply was practically non existant, and when I asked for formula, it was denied
I didnt know what day it was, I was so exhausted, but that didnt matter. Formula wasnt allowed!!!
several nurses who didnt have kids just told me no way
as soon as I got home, I weaned her, at 4 mths, with mashed avo and formula
she is now a thriving 3 yr old
I HATE the pressure from nurses etc on this issue
Do what is best for Fin, only YOU know, only YOU are his mother
(wont mention that I went on to have severe PND and feelings of failure for months, and am only now, 3 yrs later on fantastic antidepressants)
those ‘professionals’ were out of order
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Of course, Bloomberg is also the same idiot who’s banning super sized sodas in NYC, and most Americans are betting on what ridiculous new thing he’ll come up with next.
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It shouldn’t be up to anyone but the child’s mother to choose to breastfeed or not.
It makes me mad just thinking that someone else deems it appropriate to make that decision for me.
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I don’t have any kids, but when I go for my yearly check-up, I go to a midwife to have it done. I live in Texas. Midwives here have to be nurses first, then specialize as midwives. The ladies I see are ex-military and have delivered babies in places like Africa. I love them. I’ve seen OBGYNs here for exams, and they treat me like a cow, instigating I’ve got a few good years left in me to breed. The midwives recognize not all females need to have a kid in order to feel whole as a woman. They also strike me as far more caring and intelligent than the OBGYN’s. If I ever was to have a baby, I would choose them over an OB. But here in the US once you reach 35 you’re considered high risk and pretty much forced to an OB. Hospitals are not staffed with midwives here. It’s a speciality that you have to choose. I wish it was more like Australia, where midwives were routine and a doc was just there in case. My BFF had her baby with an aweful OB who inducted her, broke her bag, then stopped the drip and then told her she was going to have to have a c-section but her shift was over so she was leaving her with someone she had never met. The midwives would. ever have done that.
They teach breast is best here, but they also send new mothers home with a trial kit of formula. However they have location classes, so you can experience both.
Maybe Mayor Bloomberg is just reacting to Jersey Shore’s Snooki saying she’s not going to breast feed and he doesn’t want all the other teenage mums here to follow her awesome example of a life….
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My daughter was 5 days old when I lost the plot completely for feeling like a ‘bad first time mum’ when bf (for so many reasons) wasn’t giving her enough milk…And i didnt have a back up plan. I sobbed and sobbed…and my lovely husband sat with me and asked what was wrong. I told him that if we lived in the wild she would starve. I felt like such a failure. His reply…if we lived in the wild I would have to hunt bears…and I cant hunt bears so we would all starve. Made me laugh and still does. Love a male perspective some times
)
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