by TARA MOSS
On Friday I was honoured to open the 4th biennial Breathing New Life Into Maternity Care conference in Melbourne as part of my role as UNICEF Patron for Breastfeeding for the Baby Friendly Health Initiative (BFHI).
So, why breastfeeding and why do we need a baby friendly initiative in Australia?
The good news is that Australian women have the legal right to breastfeed anytime, anywhere their child needs it. The other good news is that our exclusive breastfeeding rate at the medically recommended six month mark has risen from 14% to 15% in the past year. This is great progress. Unfortunately though, that 15% exclusive breastfeeding rate is still half the world average and with the importance of breastfeeding now very well documented, the World Health Organisation, UNICEF and health practitioners nationwide are hoping to raise breastfeeding rates.
Consider this: The 2010 Infant Feeding Survey conducted by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare found that more than 9 out of 10 mothers in Australia want to breastfeed.The Survey also found that the majority of women quit breastfeeding before they chose to.Our excellent breastfeeding initiation rate of 96% drops to only 15% at the recommended six months. It drops quickly and it drops quickest in lower socio-economic groups. Why? According to the Survey, the common reasons for not breastfeeding include ‘previously unsuccessful experience’, ‘so my partner can share feeding’ and ‘infant formula as good as breast milk’.
For women in some areas of Australia the importance of breast milk is well understood but a lack of breastfeeding support sees them forced to quit when common problems arise, leaving them frustrated and disappointed. For others, the differences between breast milk and formula, particularly the protective aspects of breast milk – like mum’s valuable antibodies and immune cells – are simply not understood.
We also know that return to work remains a major barrier for many breastfeeding mothers. A fantastic program called Breastfeeding Friendly Workplaces (unrelated to BFHI), encourages businesses to put basic protocols in place to allow breastfeeding breaks or to have a place to store expressed breast milk at work, all of which makes good ethical sense but also good business sense. But until more businesses become baby friendly and breastfeeding friendly, many women will continue to feel that they are faced with tough choices about how to combine breastfeeding and work.
A breastfeeding friendly culture is clearly important for Australia and Australian women want it. And a breastfeeding culture is not just a culture that supports the initiation of breastfeeding, but that also supports continued breastfeeding and everything that involves.
Personally, it wasn’t until I was pregnant that I actually realised I had reservations about breastfeeding. In hindsight, I can see that these reservations were largely informed by comments in the media and in popular entertainment, by friends and by strangers, about pain, pushy midwives, saggy post-feeding breasts, biting and even the more supposedly liberate modern choice to skip breastfeeding altogether. I worried I would be embarrassed in public while nursing. I’d heard a lot of horror stories and as a result I mistrusted my body’s ability to do it at all.
The fact is, many of us only hear about breastfeeding in the context of women’s negative experiences in trying unsuccessfully to do it. Negative stories, particularly extreme ones, are always retold with greater frequency than stories of what is more common, uneventful or positive.
So what I discovered when I became a mother surprised me. I was amazed to learn that breast milk is not just a source of nutrition, but contains illness fighting antibodies and immune cells, and even stem cells, which were discovered only a few years ago. I was also amazed to find that breastfeeding, when it works, is as enjoyable for mums as it is for babies, is remarkably convenient and easy, and that while nursing is natural, it is also learned. The reasons for this are complex, but the first and most basic reason is that we don’t see breastfeeding. We don’t watch breastfeeding happen, and we therefore don’t instinctively understand all that it involves.
Our culture has made breastfeeding all but invisible and taboo. Many are openly squeamish about it. In our culture breasts are commonly viewed as sexual organs, but not as a source of nutrition.
It’s telling that there was something of a furore caused by the recent cover of TIME magazine. The mother on the cover was feeding her 3 year old. Now that I am a mum, and I have seen breastfeeding regularly, I find the idea of feeding a 3 year old beautiful and unremarkable. It seems normal to me. Many others reacted strongly against the image for a whole variety of reasons, but most of the debate once again centered on the issue of public breastfeeding and the idea of feeding past age one.
Imagine if the mother on the cover, Jamie, were feeding her 5 year old adopted son, whom she breastfed successfully? Or a child older than that, as some women I know have? As her own mother did with her, to age 6? Remember, the World Health Organisation encourages breastfeeding to age 2 AND beyond. What we call ‘extended breastfeeding’ is normal in other parts of the world, but here, after one year, perhaps even before then, the comments about weaning start.
I was told to quit before 7 months because of teeth. I was also told to quit because ‘breast milk has no value after six months’ and ‘you’re only doing it for yourself’.
We’ve all been fed a lot of misinformation about feeding.
And like a lot of people, I didn’t know about the potential for help with ‘re-lactation’ for women who have encountered breastfeeding troubles and stopped, the existence of milk banks (still just being established in Australia and not yet widely available) and the well established but little known fact that many women are able to successfully breastfeed their adopted children, even if they have never been pregnant.
But back to TIME magazine for a moment. Personally, I have yet to see a mainstream portrayal of breastfeeding that has NOT caused intense debate of some kind.
US actor Angelina Jolie’s appearance on the cover of W magazine in 2008, breastfeeding one of her twins in a modest black and white photograph taken by her partner Brad Pitt caused a furore. Her baby was a newborn, the image showed no cleavage, and no, her child was not standing on a chair. Similarly, last year a natural-looking photograph of supermodel Miranda Kerr breastfeeding son Flynn caused mixed reactions of praise and disapproval, while provocative photographs of her in lingerie and swimwear don’t cause so much as a whiff of controversy. Images of nursing are still routinely flagged as offensive on Facebook and banned. Even the cover of a comic called ‘Saga’ featuring a breastfeeding character (dressed modestly, and with no nipple or cleavage showing) was deemed ‘inappropriate for children’ by some.
Inappropriate? For children?
Unfortunately, while we have become accustomed to seeing the fertile female body used to sell us all kinds of products, we are no longer accustomed to seeing it perform this most natural task. Anti-discrimination laws protect a woman’s right to breastfeed anytime, anywhere, but without normalising the sight of breastfeeding in our society we have little hope of making more mothers comfortable enough to engage in the practice, or continue it once life inevitably involves taking a hungry baby out of the house.
This is one of the reasons why initiatives like the Baby Friendly Health Initiative – spearheaded by the World Health Organization (WHO) and UNICEF – are so important.
BFHI, which has been implemented in over 150 countries, has had great success in helping women around the world in their goals to successfully breastfeed. BFHI accredited hospitals encourage skin-to-skin contact between mother and baby for at least an hour immediately after birth (for natural and caesarian births and for breastfeeding and non-breastfeeding mothers). Mothers and babies room in together 24 hours a day. The hospital does not promote formula companies by giving out gifts of free infant formula samples, only encourage formula use if medically indicated or by mothers informed choice, do not suggest dummies or artificial teats (to avoid nipple confusion before breastfeeding is well established), and maintain quality education for all staff to ensure consistent evidence-based advice and feeding assistance for all mothers.
Hospitals with these simple protocols have dramatically higher success rates for breastfeeding, and also result in mothers breastfeeding for markedly longer durations, with better health outcomes for mother and baby, including significantly lower rates of illness, obesity and SIDS ( http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/no-question-mothers-milk-lowers-sids-risk-20120516-1yrbg.html ). Just one success story from the BFHI initiative: In China, which now has more than 6,000 Baby-Friendly Hospitals, exclusive breastfeeding in rural areas rose from 29 per cent to 68 per cent and in urban areas, from 10 per cent to 48 per cent, in only 2 years of being introduced.
BFHI is keen to soon launch the BFHI Community program for Child and Family Health Centres, which implements the ‘7 Point Plan for a Baby Friendly Community’. This focuses on providing consistent information, resources and support for mothers once they leave the hospital to assist them in maintaining exclusive breastfeeding for the recommended 6 months, and to introduce complementary foods whilst continuing to breastfeed for up to two years and beyond.
BFHI is one valuable way we can give parents consistent care and advice on breastfeeding, so they can achieve their breastfeeding goals and wean when it is right for them, and not when a problem arises or when they are pressured to quit. That is why I am proud to be patron of the initiative.
Personally, I understand the importance of getting consistent advice because I wasn’t lucky enough to get it myself. Shortly after she was born, my daughter was prescribed formula by the paediatrician at the non-BFHI accredited hospital where I gave birth, as he believed my milk was slow to come in and my daughter had mild jaundice.
At only two days of age my daughter was faced with bottles. She then failed to put on weight despite my best efforts to breastfeed and an increasing insistence from the doctor to give her additional formula feeds. She cried a lot, vomited often, did not sleep well and was not putting on weight. At the same time, in addition to conflicting messages in the media and from strangers, I was also getting negative messages at home. An older visiting relative of mine, a mother of two and grandmother of many, was telling me there was something wrong with my milk and I should quit breastfeeding immediately. She repeatedly shared her story of being ‘informed’ by doctors decades ago that her breast milk was bad, and how much better formula was. She’d put her children on formula in the first week of their lives and was quite adamant that was best. She grew more aggressive about this advice by the day, as my daughter continued to fail to thrive.
As a new and inexperienced mum, it was hard.
As it turns out, my daughter has an intolerance to cows milk and the common commercial milk-based formula she was prescribed was causing her terrible pain and was preventing her from putting on weight. The doctor attributed it to breastfeeding trouble and lack of milk supply on my behalf, but that just didn’t feel right to me. When I finally refused to give her any more supplementary feeds of infant formula, her condition turned around dramatically. She thrived exclusively on my milk, put on weight, began to sleep well, and her colicky stomach problems, constant crying, vomiting and related rash and dry skin disappeared almost overnight.
She has been a happy, healthy baby since, and at nearly 15 months we are still enjoying breastfeeding, but it was a tense and extremely emotionally tough and confusing first 3-4 weeks and if I hadn’t been so supported by the patient and well-educated midwives in hospital, the breastfeeding-friendly community nurse in my area, and if I hadn’t had access to some good evidence-based information, I am sure I would have believed I had failed at breastfeeding, or my milk was ‘bad’ and given up.
Though each mother’s story is different, a lot of the same themes emerge. We want to breastfeed, but find ourselves up against seemingly insurmountable obstacles. I consider myself lucky to be breastfeeding now, but women should not have to be lucky to be able to breastfeed successfully. The fact that the majority of Australian women quit breastfeeding before they want to is simply not good enough.
Let us be clear. Women in countries with higher breastfeeding rates are not better mothers. They are not built differently. They do not have better breasts. They live in more breastfeeding friendly cultures, where breastfeeding is seen as the natural process that it is and the health care system fully supports their needs.
We can all work together to encourage this move toward a more tolerant breastfeeding friendly and baby friendly culture.
When mothers make informed choices, lets respect those choices, regardless of whether than means breastfeeding or bottle feeding, or styles of parenting we don’t agree with. And for the majority of women who do choose to breastfeed, lets give them our unreserved support in the health care system and at work, but also in the community, so they can develop healthy, long-lasting breastfeeding relationships with their children and can be absolutely comfortable breastfeeding anytime, anywhere, when their children need it, for as long as they choose.
Tara Moss is an author and UNICEF Patron for Breastfeeding for BFHI. You can visit her website here or follow her on Twitter here







Comments
271 Comments so far
Each to their own I say. I attended antenatal classes who were all for breastfeeding but failed to tell the reality of what breastfeeding your baby means for you as the mother. I am currently still breastfeeding my 3 month old. I have found breastfeeding convenient yet hard. You really don’t realise how much you are bound to your baby. Not that I don’t want to spend every waking minute with him, it’s just a hard reality that no one really tells you about. I can recall being in tears in hospital with each nurse having their own little way of doing things, questioning me why I’m doing it a certain way – well my answer is “that’s what the last nurse on duty told me”. As a first time mum I had no idea so I just went with my gut instinct. I persisted with breastfeeding as I want the absolute best for my little boy. Many times I have felt like quitting, the razor blade pain that my nipples felt in the first two weeks was almost enough for me to throw the towel in. My son feeds every 3 hours which makes it hard to do anything in between, including expressing. I have breastfed in many public places and no one has said anything. I am quite a modest person so i try to be as discreet as possible but its stressful. So if there’s mothers out there that don’t want to breastfeeding then that’s their choice. I was bottle fed and I am a very active 30 year old that has been healthy and played sport all my life so surely it can’t be all bad. I think that this whole ‘taboo’ subject is an overreaction.
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I think that mums are giving up breast feeding too early. I have had 3 children and am currently breast feeding my 10 month old. I breasted my first and honestly had a horrendous time…I could go on and on but basically every difficulty you could experience with breast feeding, I did. I stuck with it…and I eventually enjoyed it but it did take about 6 months for me to say that. When I had my second baby I decided before I had him that if it was difficult again, I would quit and use formula. With the first sign of mastitis, I put him on the bottle with expressed milk for 3 months. It was a completely selfish decision….I didnt want to put myself through the stress, pain or tears again. Now that I am feeding my 3rd, which again was a difficult 6 months…I can now say how much I enjoy it. It does frustrate me that mothers don’t work harder to keep going with breast feeding….having given up myself I know that I could have worked harder to make it happen. The reality is that research says breast is best. We need to provide way more support and stop offering formula so freely. Mums should be surrounded by Encouragement, kindness, support and the message that it is bloody hardwork!
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One Word SUPPORT. Mothers should Support each other whether they breastfeed or bottle feed in public or in the privacy of their home. If we show support for each other, than maybe we could teach others to support us as well.
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This article is not to debate breast and bottle feeding. It’s about whether a woman can breastfeed in public without people thinking it’s gross and unnatural. Mothers who don’t breast feed – calm down! It’s not about you.
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Standing by what you said is a very good thing in blogosphere. But it is important that you support your logics with good, sensible reasoning
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Thanks Tarra! Fantastic article, with no pitching parent against parent. Loved the links that supported what you were talking about. The topic was handled much better than it has in previous mammamia posts.
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Ugh. If your positive about b/feeding & it’s noted benefits then you’re a crunchy lactivist. If you are positive about formula then you are delusional. No one can have opinions any more without someone jumping down your throat. Look, parenting is hard. No matter what. There were always two things you should never talk about w friends- religion & politics. Well, add parenting because civility is dead when it comes to these matters. And finally UGH.
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This morning the DJ on Nova said that his breast feeding wife disgusted him & looked like a cow….
Tara it may interest you to know I am Australian, who had my babies in Canada & publicly breastfed them for four years. No-one in Canada blinked an eye-lid, or made a comment either bad or good.
When I returned to Australia I was astonished to find it was mentioned on almost a daily basis.
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He said what?!!! Who?
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I support each mother’s decision to feed bub the way that works best for them. The early weeks of bf is such a journey. It can be difficult, painful and time consuming. When you combine that with an unsettled bub, it can quickly make a mother doubt her ability to continue.
I learnt such a valuable thing about bf before I had my 1st. It is in relation to “full feeds” on an approximate 2.5 – 3 hour routine, as opposed to “snack feeding” for only a few minutes on demand. I believe full feedings between 10-15mins each side on a routine feed cycle allows your baby to get both the low fat “fore milk” then the full fat, calorie rich “hind milk” as the feed continues. This is what satisfies bub through to the next feed. Snack feeds on demand for a few minutes here and there, satisfy bub at the time, but as they are only getting the fore milk, they are usually looking for food again very quickly. This frequent feeding and uncertainty of demand feeding is exhausting for a new mum.
It is difficult to keep a sleepy newborn feeding for a long time. You need to tickle their toes, wipe their head with a cool wash cloth etc, but gosh it pays off by about week 3 or 4. Full feeding helps your baby get in sync with the world. It also reassures a new mum that if the baby cries in the next 2 hours, it is for a reason other than hunger. It helps a Mum stay a little in control, and keeps her one step ahead.
Everyone is different, but this info really empowered me, and has led to 3 successful bf experiences.
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Being a mum is full of brownie point choices. Clearly breastfeeding is one of them. But I doubt mums who have made breastfeeding successful have every other brownie point parenting choice under their hats too. Its simply not possible, unless they are Mother Earth
Pick the things that work for you and let the rest of it go. Its really not that important when they grow up. I struggled hugely to breastfeed my first child to the detriment of my own health. I only breastfed my other children for a short time because the same problems began to appear. I enjoyed them so much more than my firstborn because I was fighting illness and trying to breastfeed when it simply wasnt working and I lost the enjoyment of my first baby. They are all healthy, bright and happy kids now regardless of how long they were breastfed for. And I really wish I had stopped breastfeeding my first child earlier because my memories of that time would be much happier.
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I am very curious about the “fact” being thrown around in the comments that only 1-2% of women can’t breastfeed. Where does this data come from? Is it referring to women who can’t breastfeed due to a mechancial/physical problem. e.g. they literally produce no milk?
I am very curious about this, my experiences with breastfeeding have been incredibly complex. I have never seen data that accurately describes my experiences.
Some of the challenges I have faced:
- reflux (extreme)
- jaundice
- breast AND bottle refusal (for up to 12 hrs at a time)
- excessive weight loss and poor/no weight gain
- pyloric stenosis and subsequent surgery on a 4 weeks old, due to the illness and surgery he was nil by mouth for several days then syringe fed tiny amounts for several more days
- tongue tie
- milk protien allergy
- low supply which was unresponsive to pumping every two hours for weeks, motilium and fenugreek
- post natal depression requiring medication
- have 3 kids under 3 years old and no family near by to help.
It is so complex……. Looking back I am confident that I absolutely did my best but our problems have been too difficult to over come.
Anyway, I doubt that I would sit in the statistic of the 1-2% of women who “can’t” breastfeed, while I didn’t have much milk (pumping 2hrly produced about 30ml max) I did have some. I challenge anyone to tell me I didn’t try hard enough though, and I can assure you that I did not choose to stop breastfeeding that was just the outcome of a very complex situation.
Tara’s article is great, I do believe that breastfeeding is the ideal way for a baby to get its nutrition however I take issue with commenters who say that all breastfeeding problems can be overcome if you try hard enough. In isolation probably all problems can be overcome but sometimes you find yourself in hospital, pumping out 10ml every two hours while your 4 week old viomits blood constantly and is nil by mouth for 4 days.
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Hi Oddsocks, it’s sounds like you’ve been to hell in back. You’ve done really well to survive and remain sane!!
I would never think/say/imply a mother hasn’t “tried hard enough” to overcome breastfeeding problems. And neither would Tara. That is never the case. What I would say is there isn’t always the support a mother needs to succeed. I had a formula supplemented newborn, we had bad attachment and I had cracked bleeding nipples. I did everything they were telling me to in hospital, nothing helped. If I wasn’t lucky enough, yes LUCKY enough to find the right lactation consulatant to help me when I got out, we would have been done breastfeeding at 5 days. Why are we putting women through this? Why did you have to go through what you went through? It’s not right!!! Why can’t we get women the correct consistant information the first time around? Why is it so many women have problems which can be fixed, yet they ask and ask and ask for help, and they don’t get it? Lets train doctors/midwifes/health nurses/even some LCs with the correct, latest, up to date information. But we don’t. We leave mums to figure it out for themselves, give them conflicting advice and then are shocked when it doesn’t work out. Terrible!!
And you didn’t do anything wrong, you’ve done everything right!! The system however….
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Thanks, I get what your saying and I agree that more support is needed. However I still don’t think that all problems can be fixed with the right support…… you can’t “fix” reflux, you can’t force a baby to feed. Thank God you can “fix” pyloric stensosis but you can’t undo the damage done to feeding during the illness/diagnosis/surgery/recovery. In my case I couldn’t “fix” my supply issues – and I did have wonderful support from my GP, lactation consultants and my birth centre midwife.
I forgot to mention that I had bleeding nipples that literally looked like they had cracked in two with my first two babies – I have to say expressing with a electric pump is wonderful for cracked nipples and think the pain would have been crippling if I hadn’t been expressing as well as feeding.
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I am still breastfeeding my 14 month old twins (expressed breast milk). I have lied and told everybody (except my husband) that I finished b.feeding about 5 months ago due to pressure and feelings of embarassment whenever people constantly asked my why I was still feeding. Questions and statements like ‘whats wrong with you’, ‘gee will you be still feeding them when they are teenagers’, ‘there is nothing wrong with formula you know’, ‘they don’t need it anymore’. All these remarks are ignorant and make me feel like insecure, so it has been easier to lie and say i am finished. I was even made to feel like a weirdo when my boys were 2 months old for breast feeding them by a very ignorant brother in law who said “you are wasting your time, formula is just as good, why are you trying to be a hero”. I plan on continuing for as long as I feel comfortable, I just have to make sure I hide my breastpump whenever anybody comes over.
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Yes…I’ve heard comments from men like this. They find breastfeedig inconvenient, especially the longer it goes on, or can’t be bothered with the support needed by the breastfeeding mum. A colleague of my husbands once told me that his wife formula fed (for whatever reason, her choice) and that when experiencing breastfeeding difficulties I had to consider the impact on the WHOLE family. Hmmmm. By that stage I had well overcome any issues but was bemused by that attitude. Good on you for feeding that long. I did til 15 months and I was equally relieved because I never could express and so had to be there every single night! I’m up to 10 months second baby and could care less what anybody thought.
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Oh Rose
I don’t have children but I can understand societial pressure to confirm. Go you! Doing what you think is right for your boys, and isn’t that the job of a parent, looking out for their kids. What a shame people around you have made that job tougher than it already is.
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A friend and I were just talking about this today. We both have two children. For the first we were told to supplement with formula, not given support to have skin to skin contact with our babies (who were both in humidcribs after birth for a week or so for different reasons) and both given conflicting and totally unhelpful advice from midwives at hospital.
For both our second children, we learned about breastfeeding BEFORE giving birth, insisted on skin to skin contact with our babies after birth (I had a caesarean and this was still ok – half an hour in recovery and then straight to my room with bub) and we did not ask midwives for help. We both breastfed within the “magic two hours” post birth and both our babies breastfed successfully after that.
We would both highly recommend learning about breastfeeding before birth – use you tube, blogging websites, nursing mothers websites, books and dvds to do this. Consider hiring a lactation consultant to visit you at home a several times in the first few weeks of baby’s life. The money you spend you will well and truly save in formula and bottles down the track. Breastfeeding matters to the health of your child over their entire life and it is so sad that many women can’t or don’t do it because they don’t get the right help and support and education to learn how.
Yes, there are some women who genuinely are unable to breastfeed. I believe it is 1% to 2% of all women. My heart goes out to them and I have absolutely no judgement of them at all. If you can’t breastfeed then of course, you must use formula.
For the other 98% – 99% of women though, help, support and education is the key. Acknowledging that this is a skill you need to learn is really important. After all, no one gets on the tennis court or in the swimming pool and just expects to know how to do it. It takes time but in the end is well worth it.
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I honestly didn’t realise breastfeeding was a taboo. I have breastfed two children. I just did it when and where I needed to for as long as it was convenient and worked for both myself and my kids. I understand that some women can’t or don’t want to breastfeed and you know what….I don’t care. Everyone is trying to do the best for themselves and their children.
Let’s stop writing and reading articles that treat breastfeeding as anything more than a parent feeding their child.
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I think building it up as some mystical goddess thing is just as harmful as saying there are all these problems with breastfeeding. You end up with this weird thing of people saying “It’s completely natural and also it makes you into a goddess and you have superior bonding abilities with your kids”. If it’s just how babies eat, then I think that’s far better, as you say.
For what it’s worth, I think that’s the angle Tara is taking. I do agree that it needs to be normalised and seen as the norm rather than something someone does to “take a stand” in some way. I’m still breastfeeding KDot and I don’t expect a medal or sainthood for it, and I think those that carry on as if they deserve one do the cause for breastfeeding (which I have no doubt they believe in wholeheartedly) a disservice. If everything’s working, it’s not that great a sacrifice.
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how do they work out the statistic? I just asked my cousin who breastfed past 6 months if she was ever asked to do a survey or participate in working out this statistic and she didnt….soooo are they just guessing? I would say about 80% of woman i know have breastfed past 6 months….I am the only bottle feeder! I find the statistics are much lower than that what they really are…did every single mother with a child under 1 take part in working out these statistic? I didnt get asked…how do they know I am not a breasfeeder? hmmmm I am not convinced…but I also am not an expert in working statistics out!
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You might be interested in this link http://www.aihw.gov.au/publication-detail/?id=10737420927&tab=2 it has a copy of the survey, summery etc
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Tara Moss says ” I find the idea of feeding a 3 year old beautiful and unremarkable. It seems normal to me. ” This is easy to say when your baby is not yet 2. A 3 year old is a little person – most are at pre-school or child care, eating a balanced diet of family food, how would you breastfeed a 3 year old at pre-school?
Doctors do not recommend babies even have bottles after 1-so why would you need to breastfeed a 3 year old?
I have 2 boys, both at school; both thriving physically, mentally and emotionally. Fantastic sleepers and eaters. No asthma, allergies etc etc – The oldest is a state swimmer. Both in top classes at school. I love them to death and vice versa. Guess what? – Neither of them were breastfed ONE SINGLE drop.
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Hi Tess,
Doctors don’t recommend bottles past 1 because of issues with tooth decay. It is not that children shouldn’t have milk drinks anymore, but that they should be either breastfed, or drink from a cup. Children can be offered cow’s milk as their main source of milk drink from 12 months, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be offered breast milk or formula.
No one would suggest solely breastfeeding a 3 year old, or a 1 year old for that matter, but any milk drink could potentially be a breastmilk drink. As to the ‘need’ for breastmilk after the age of 1, mother’s milk continues to provide nutrition and antibodies which can’t be found anywhere else. It may not be ‘needed’ for weight gain but that doesn’t mean it is not beneficial.
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Why is breastfeeding different from drinking from a bottle? (As far as tooth decay goes, I mean)
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I think it’s to do with how the milk is in the mouth? With a bottle it swishes around the mouth and sits on the teeth, but with breastfeeding it squirts much farther back in the mouth and straight down the throat, so doesn’t get the chance to sit there.
Also breastfeeding is for a limited time, and a bottle can be held in the mouth like a dummy for a longer time letting drink drip into the mouth and therefore have the opportunity to attack the teeth. I think that’s it.
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I have a friend whose two year old has severe tooth decay and he is fully breastfed. I’m not saying it is the breastfeeding that has caused it (I doubt it is), but I just want to make the point that these things are not black and white.
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Hi Tess
When mothers are still breastfeeding their 3 year olds it is not necessary to feed them during the day when they are at preschool or day care. Breastmilk is given along with everyday food and cows milk. I would think most breastfeeding 3 year olds might have a feed at night before bed, or in the morning, just one feed a day. Just as many 3 year olds still have a bottle of cows milk or toddler formula at bed time or in the morning. Breast feeding doesn’t replace normal eating and it is used for many reasons, such as comfort and relaxation, not just nutrition (though it does still have nutritional and immunilogical value, despite what many people think).
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You don’t breast feed a 3 y.o at day care. If you are b.feeding a 3 y.o they mostly take a few feeds a day. Its nothing like feeding a newborn. Nothing. They are done in a couple of minutes and as the PP said, it is not just for nutritional benefit. Anyhoo.
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My desire to breastfeed, as I had never given it a thought before I had my first baby, was given to me by an older friend. She told me that not only was breastmilk the best for my baby, but they smelled wonderful and that lovely, milky smell of a newborn was great and not like the awful smell of formula -fed babies when they vomit up the stuff.
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Breastfed poos are way easier to handle than formula ones as well!
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Interesting – I always used to think that as well. A few days ago I changed the nappy of my FF nephew and I was really impressed with his pooh! It closely resembled the consistency, smell, colour (taste??) of my BF baby. He is on one of the new formulas with prebiotics etc and I’m wondering if that is making a difference. Anyone else noticed difference with FF poohs in recent years?
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haha I think that depends on the baby! I have FF both my babies and the poos are a bit firmer so easier to clean…my friend is dealing with number threes after every BF she does and is going nuts with washing haha! But I think the smell is better with BF poo and vomit, and BF breath on a baby is quite sweet! Formula vomit is the WORST though oh god…My little Miss is 6 weeks this week and has reflux and she was smelling like a vomit factory for a good week there before she started the reflux formula…..reflux formula has stopped the vomit now..no more vomit and she just smells like yummy berts bees shampoo wash now ahhhh….how funny that poo and vomit is such a massive topic of conversation when we have babies haha
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I was actually referring to the smell, not the consistency! Obviously it depends what they’re eating as well, or if you’re breastfeeding what you eat. I can smell certain foods in KDot’s nappies sometimes – bacon always comes through strong.
Maybe your friend’s eating something that doesn’t agree with her bub?
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My babies both had breast and bottle at different times and they always smelled divine and didn’t vomit at all.
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My baby was breast and bottle fed too, and he never smelt awful! He always smelt milky and warm. I think all babies smell good to their mothers whether they are bf or ff.
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For what its worth, nobody cares or is the slightest bit interested in how your baby was fed once they start school.
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Tara, you are amazing and thank you for your great article. I hope we do get to change the perception of breastfeeding in public, but it may take many years. However, it is much better than when I had my babies, thanks to the ABA and all the other organizations who promote breastfeeding to 2 years and beyond. Another reason to breast feed, which was not mentioned – you are a lower risk of contracting breast cancer in later years, if you breastfeed for two years, either one baby or two or three cumulatively. Yay!
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This argument in favour of breastfeeding – that it lowers your cancer risk – makes my blood boil. My breasts did not make enough milk to feed my baby (who had a tongue-tie anyway… MAJOR problems) and at 8 weeks the milk ran out. I gave it EVERYTHING I had… blood, sweat and plenty of tears, plus the lasting effects of depression when it failed. So now I have to worry that I am a greater cancer risk? It makes me so angry. It is such a dangerous, dangerous message. Another kick in the guts confirming that you’re a failure if you don’t breastfeed to 2 years. If you want my opinion, the ABA has done more damage to women’s mental health by inducing this guilt and disappointment at failing to breastfeed (or choosing not to) than it has benefited women by making breastfeeding more acceptable. The ABA says formula is “dangerous”: their word, not mine. How is that helpful to women? HOW!? Breastfeeding organisations have got to stop marginalising women who cannot or who do not want to breastfeed if there is going to be any acceptance of their message beyond the zealots who lap it up like it’s the world of god.
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Great article. Thanks Tara for going into such detail. Good on you. I found it particularly interesting the little bits of information I didn’t know.
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Great article! I agree that if you are surrounded by positive examples of breastfeeding and natural parenting techniques it can rub off as having my two babies in a small rural village in the UK where nearly all my friends in my mothers group breastfed for ages and were into home water births, etc, that it just seemed natural to me to breastfeed until my children were around two years of age. We also co-slept which is seen as a bit radical but is in fact ideal for breastfeeding…they could suckle and I hardly had to even wake up! Might sound a bit tribal for some people but it was bliss for me…and my babies (I’m very lazy and it wouldn’t have suited me to get up to prepare bottles in the middle of the night!). Going by some of the comments following this article though I feel it’s a shame that breastfeeding has such a competitive edge to it with mothers who find it easy being very pro-breastfeeding and those who find it difficult or undesirable being a little defensive. Surely this is the reason that some people decide point blank to not even try it. It shouldn’t be a pressurised activity, even with some of the issues which may arise. I was told by a close family member “Oh you’ll have to give up now” when my son accidentally bit me at about 6 months and it caused mastitis, but I switched to the other side for awhile until it calmed down and continued to feed for another year or so. Everyone has their opinions but it’s what’s important to you that matters. We all know breastfeeding has significant health benefits for mother & child (I loved the fact that everytime my baby suckled in the early days my womb contracted and that everything is designed to go back into place!!) but we have to make educated choices for our children….and this is just the first of many! Whatever you do don’t beat yourself up for not breastfeeding but at the same time don’t give up at the first hurdle either…perseverance is the key in many cases.
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I am curious how your husband/partner felt about the co-sleeping arrangement. I’m not being critical at all, genuinely just interested…
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My HUSBAND wanted to co-sleep with our daughter , but I beat him up with a dildo; that fixed the issue .
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My husband and I co-slept with our baby too, it was much easier for night feeding, plus she was very high need and only relaxed when she was being held. Neither of us minded at all, we did a lot of research on the safety side of it and made sure we were careful. Our attitude was that we had already had 15 years of sleeping together, snuggling, why on earth would we make a tiny little baby sleep alone while we (the adults) enjoyed having someone warm and snuggly alongside us? We will have many more years to sleep alone together too, once she no longer needs us to help keep her safe and warm. My husband also often works nights so it seemed ridiculous that I would be alone in one room, while she was alone in another, both with heating or air conditioning on, much more environmentally friendly to sleep together!
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It was actually my husbands idea, we just believe in the whole nesting thing, all cuddled up together. Though technically baby has their own space in the bed & their own blanket or sleeping bag – never in the middle under the duvet! We actually left hospital early about 14 hours after our son was born just so we could all spend our first night bonding together. After we chose to co-sleep we read ‘Three in a bed’ by Deborah Jackson, which just confirmed how we felt, that our baby (after miscarriages) was too precious to put in a separate little compartment down the hall. It was only in the Victorian age that social/health workers persuaded people to give kids their own cots/rooms, lots of babies from poorer families died through lack of warmth, illness, etc. The bonus of co-sleeping is that you learn to sleep lightly responding to your babies needs, your heartbeat and breathing helps to regulate theirs and they are at a much lower risk of cot death as lying next to each other all night you naturally disturb each other a little which reminds babies prone to breath-holding to start breathing again! As far as I know the health advice now is to at least have your baby in the same room for a minimum of 6 months to be on the safe side. Also I’m not sure how old your children are (ours are 13 & 9) but after 22 years together we actually find it harder to get the chance to have sex now, with them running around the house, or playing X-Box till late at night, than we did when they were slumbering infants!
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This is a brilliant article, and the BFHI is a wonderful initiative. I feel very lucky that my babies were born at a great hospital (the RPA in Sydney) where I was encouraged to have lots of initial skin on skin contact and have my baby room in with me (they don’t even have a nursery in the postnatal ward), and where I was supported by a great team of midwives and lactation consultants, then put in touch with my local Early Childhood Centre (staffed by another wonderful team of professionals), the ABA etc. I think it’s so important that women get the support they need to breastfeed in the early days and weeks, as so many of the problems that are encountered early on can be resolved with adequate help.
It’s a shame that some posters are choosing to view this article as a breastfeeding vs formula feeding piece, when it’s just a great, informed article on how we can help women receive more support and get rid of some of the hurdles women face when choosing to breastfeed.
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I am 100% tired of this baby feeding debate and I’m particularly perturbed by these women who get on their high horse about breastfeeding. Sure, if you have an average, everyday baby with a regular appetite, and a mother with an average job, exclusive breastfeeding for a year is totally achievable. But how many people fit that mould? Hardly any I know. Firstly, it’s fabulous to have an employer that supports breastfeeding, but in reality, stopping to pump at regular intervals just isnt practical for all jobs. “Find anothet job”, you say? Um…Some people just don’t have that luxury. Life is not perfect for a lot of us. Secondly, not every baby is satisfied with just breast milk, and not every mum has the luxury of being able to sit down all day, feeding a super hungry baby with an abnormally high appetite. My little boy has been at least 2-3mths ahead developmentally since the day he was born. He latched straight on as soon as he was out…and didn’t come off for a solid month. I had to start supplementing with formula, it was my choice. My production was excellent, but just not enough for him, and I don’t believe in starving a baby just to appease the judgey-judgey mum crowd. With weaning, I was guided by my baby. He started at 5 months, and was on formula and solids by 6 months. He is beautifully healthy, very tall, lean, and many months ahead in his milestones. At only 9 months, he is at the same stage, both mentally and physically, as an average one year old. He sleeps perfectly, and has always done so. I dont beleive my breast milk alone could have sustained my boy, but a combination of breastmilk, formula and nutritious, fresh foods has been perfect for HIM. Do I think my approach could work for everyone? F$ck no. Am I sick of having all this one-size-fits-all baby feeding bullshit in my face all day? F$ck yes. By the way, I also fed my bub seafood, nuts and eggs at 7 months, and had him using a baby walker at 4 months. Suck on that!
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What debate? Tara is sharing her experiences and an initiative that is designed to help those of us that don’t have the luxury of babu friendly workplaces. No one is having a go at you!
I’m glad you are doing what works for your family. Feel free to tell us about it (which you did, great!) and i won’t assume that you’re having a go at me!
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Oops – sorry, I should have clarified. The article is fine. My response was more in relation to some of the comments I read, not only on this article, but also on other similar ones. I usually sit back without saying anything, but felt it was time to share my views (which turned into a bit of a vent, probably from bottling it up for so long!). The majority of mums I come into contact with feel so much pressure to confirm to “ideals” or “guidelines” (in relation to all sorts of parenting issues, not just feeding), but people rarely encourage us to be guided by our babies, our selves, and what fits with our situation and lifestyle.
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Best Mum Ever I totally agree with you
Wish I knew more mums like you
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Thank you Mama Mia for posting an article in support of breast feeding, rather than the debate about bf vs ff yet again.
I was extremely niaive to the challenges of breast feeding so I was lucky that my little man latched on beautifully even after a csection, and continued to feed well from then on. Sure, I was in pain and doubted my supply a lot, and found the sleep deprivation and hormones so bloody hard to cope with, but I know now how much harder it could’ve been for us.
He would have marathon feeding sessions for hours on end every night for the first 3 or 4 months which I hated, but now I look back and am grateful as it kept my supply going and helped him gain weight.
We were very lucky our situation was not overly difficult, but had it been I wouldn’t have known where to go for help, other than the ABA phone line.
I’d love to see lactation consultans employed by hospitals and assigned to work exclusively with new mums in hospital and for the first month when they go home, with a combination of in home visits and phone consults. I bet it would help enourmously
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Hey ClaireK,
I had my bub at the SAN in Sydney, and the lactation consultants who work there are also available for visits or phone calls for 6 weeks after discharge. I found this a tremendous help when at 4 weeks, I was still having trouble. I persisted, and do have a thriving baby. Had I not had the help from the lactation consultants, nor from the midwives at my early childhood centre or my Mum, I probably would have given up.
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I wonder about the 15% of babies are exclusively breastfed to 6 months stat. I was lucky enough to breastfeed my son to 15 months, but also started him on a few solids at 4 months as he was ready. So he wasn’t exclusively breastfed – but he has never had a bottle. Maybe the stats aren’t as low as they seem?
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I agree that those stats are a bit misleading. Certainly most of my friends have breastfed for longer than six months (and most for over a year), even though many of them introduced solids a little earlier than six months. As somebody else commented earlier, it may actually be detrimental to quote the 15% statistic, as it’s likely to make some women feel that there’s not much point in even aiming to breastfeed for six months, if only a small proportion of women manage to breastfeed for this length of time.
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I have always been weary of the no other nutrition required until 6 months. It does not take into account the variations in a baby’s appetite. So at 5 months and 30 days ALL babies didn’t need anything extra then they all some how they all wake up at 6 months exactly and all magically each and every one of them is only now ready for extra food. Ridiculous. In my mothers group all 7 women breast fed but only one met the 6 months exclusive stat because the rest started solids earlier because we saw our babies were hungry. And guess what the babies were happily chomping on solids before 6 months. Also allergy people say not to delay solids if your baby is ready. The advice has changed but the ABA is still sticking to 6 months exclusive breast feeding. So in our mothers group 100 percent were exclusive breast feeders at 4 months but by 6 months only 1 of 7 of us was equating to about 15 percent stat. Does this mean that 6 of the 7 ‘failed’ the standard or is the exclusive 6 month standard flawed
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Whats with all the defensive people commenting on the article? Tara is saying there should be more support so more mothers breastfeed. So what’s the problem defensive ladies? There is no denying the health benefits of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding should be more common and not so taboo. So get over it and maybe put in more effort next time instead of finding all the excuses/un researched reasoning into why you didn’t breastfeed! Good work Tara keep it up
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There is a lot of support out there for breastfeeding – breastfeeding education classes before the baby is born. ABA run various classes and so do the hospitals usually. The internet has given us all the information we could want and the ABA web-site and the Essential Baby web-site have a lot of information for those that are looking for it. Lactation consultants can be found and they are a great provider of experience and intelligence towards breastfeeding. Plenty of books to read and the great man -Dr Jack Newman’s website and videos.
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There is no where near enough support. I did not have supportive midwives whatsoever when I had my son. They even gave him formula in the SCN without my consent. The first step of support is midwives supporting a mum when the bub has been born. That is where alot of breastfeeding problems arise.
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Maybe they were doing what was best for your son in their professional and experienced opinion? Obviously we don’t know what was going on your end or theirs, but I don’t know that being fed formula is not supporting. They’re supporting your baby by feeding him.
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I’m not sure if you have had the experience of a child in special care when they are born but I can assure you when the mother is in a room down the hall and very willing to breastfeed/give expressed milk to their baby formula is unnecessary. And if they think it is necessary they can ask a mother for her permission which is what they are meant to do.
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Wow Naomi…Another comment that displays an utter lack on understanding and compassion. I think you will find that many of us so-called defensive types aren’t so much worried about the original article, but are offended by the judgmental, arrogant comments by people such as yourself. ‘Put more effort in next time’…. Nice. My son wasn’t breastfed but as least he will raised not to make such cruel and obnoxious comments.
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Here comes the defensiveness again! Most of the defensive comments are towards the article. I’m over seeing it! I used formula too! There is no need for the FF to continue with the crap. The article is not saying you are bad parents. It is relaying the need for more support for breastfeeding as it is undeniably the best for baby!
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No the article is not saying we are bad parents, it’s commentators such as yourself who say things like “put more effort in next time” to parents dealing with complex medical and emotionial issues that are flinging around judgments about people’s parenting skills.
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I breastfed both my kids until they were 12 months old. It was really hard to begin with (particularly with my first). I sought help from anywhere I could get it : the ABA, Tresillian, lactation consultants, baby health clinic and anyone who would listen! But I persevered and it was worth it. The more support out there for struggling mums the better.
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If there’s one thing to start me ranting it is the implication that breast feeding (and natural birth, for that matter) are better because they are natural. We live in the 21st century for goodness sake, and we should be focussing on what is best for mother and baby.
It is nearly 20 years since I gave birth and breastfed my child for 5 1/2 months. During that period I was encouraged in hospital to breastfeed to clear my mastitis, and by Nursing Mothers’ Association counsellors to keep feeding and using the breast pump despite cracks and tears in my nipples and my baby’s mouth being covered in my blood after every feed.
Each time the baby’s need was considered primary over my own, and it will be no surprise to women with similar experiences that this situation brought on my first encounter with depression.
I’m not suggesting that things are still that bad 20 years later, but reading some comments here today, it seems that women who can’t (or won’t) breastfeed are put under a lot of unnecessary pressure.
If people are really concerned about children getting a good start in life, then they should be focussing on healthy diets and exercise during their formative years.
Breastfeeding is great if it suits you and your baby – but you shouldn’t be considered selfish or harmful if you elect not to do it.
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“…breast feeding (and natural birth, for that matter) are better because they are natural.”
THe fact remains, that despite your individual experience, the evidence shows that clearly they ARE better – for both mother and baby – in a vast majority of cases. What’s wrong with helping women achieve something that is better for their health and their baby’s?
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I breastfed and comped with formula for the first four months, as no matter what I did I just never had enough breast milk. Once my bub started solids he didnt want breast milk anymore. As a new mum I found there was lots of support from midwifes and health nurses to keep breast feeding and I was well informed of the benefits of breastfeeding. But every baby is different and every mother is different, if you want to breastfeed then do it, if you don’t want to then don’t, no one has the right to judge you for how you feed your baby. The main thing is that you are feeding them!
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Every time I read something on breastfeeding by Tara Moss I am so impressed.
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I get better looking when I’m breast feeding – thinner and my skin looks great. I want to keep going until my baby is 5!! Is that wrong?? or right, but for the wrong reasons!?
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I had the BEST looking boobs when breast feeding my two babes…..back to looking like tea bags again unfortunately. Oh, and I had to get rid of that second breakfast as well…..if we have #3 looking forward to that cleavage again. So is the husband!
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It is a little off topic but does anyone have any advice on how to stop baby biting? My 10 mth old has started seriously biting me at every feed..He had given the occasional nip here and there previously but in the past 2 days is now Proper biting at every single feed. I take him off and say no but when I put him back on he just does it again. Not sure what to do??
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When my daughter bit I would YELL and she would cry and I would cry and that was the end of the feed. It went on for a few days, it was awful. Sorry that’s not more helpful. I think what happened in the end was that she figured out it was just not worth the angst and stopped doing it.
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Give the Australian Breastfeeding Association Helpline a ring, they’ll be able to help you with the biting. 1800 686 268 – it’s 24/7, free, and calls are taken by trained volunteers. And try this link
https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bf-info/common-concerns%E2%80%93baby/biting
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Saying “No” and putting them on the floor. They will soon work out that biting means no feeding and they will stop doing this.
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I fed each of my children for just over a year. Of that, 6-8 months was exclusive b/feeding because my daughter refused to eat/drink anything other than bmilk till 8 months. It was easy for me though because i had a lot of milk, no mastitis ever, and babies who latched on at birth and off we went. I did have some problems like colic (possibly from what i was eating getting thru the breastmilk) but I found it v convenient too, esp for night feeding. However, I don’t understand any “need” to bfeed a big kid like that one on the magazine cover. Granted, it is the mother/child’s business BUT I think this is some kind of emotional problem. There are other ways to be close to your child at that age like kissing and cuddling, my 5 year old likes to cuddle in our bed but this b/feeding kid looks to be that age if not older! Kill me but I think it’s gross.
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I wonder if mothers are using their instincts and voting with their feet or rather boobs and that is why BF rates aren’t as high as they “should” be. After you’ve gone through all the hell and guilt with your first one and finally succumbed to the dreaded “bottle” – you realise that not only does it not make jack shit of a difference to the health of your baby – it often results in a more settled and contented baby and consequently more sleep and freedom for the mother. Funny how we’re told to use our instincts and that we’re the ones who know our babies best….. but only if we’re breastfeeding!
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If there was a LOVE button, I’d be pounding it right now! Agree!
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Hear, hear !!!
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Are you saying that instinct tells you to feed your baby something made in a factory?
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my instinct is to feed my baby – if I was in a traditional society I dare say other women would be helping to feed my baby or I’d be supplementing feeding with other mammal’s milk or vegies, etc or the other realistic scenario is that my baby would die. Do you only eat “natural” food that you grow or kill yourself?
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Perhaps her instinct is telling her that the big picture and health and mental well being of mothers is also important. I was at the point of suicide yet the breast feeding proponents instructed me to continue (even though I’d had breast surgery that I had been advised would affect my ability to breastfeed). Eventually after many months and a baby who was losing weight and not sleeping, I came to my senses and gave my daughter formula and it transformed all our lives for the better.
I wish I’d listened to my instincts and given breastfeeding a miss much earlier on and not put myself, my baby and everyone else though hell. So yes, Faybian, even something made in a factory can be better than a mother who has taken her own life out of desperation and depression.
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i fell pregnant to my 3rd when my 2nd was only 4 months old. The next two months I persisted in breastfeeding my baby at the advice of the doctor. In those 2 months, my baby swiftly lost weight and started not sleeping thru the night (which he was doing when he was about 2mos. My husband finally convinced me to put him on formula when he turned 6 months and had gone from average growth progression on the chart to the lowest 10th percentile. Almost overnight, he started sleeping thru again and started gaining weight. But those 2 months had done its damage. I felt guilty that i starved my child just because I wanted to keep to the mantra that breastfeeding is ALWAYS best for babies. Even supplemented by solids, it certainly wasn’t enough to sustain my boy. Our eldest stopped breastfeeding on his own by 7 months old but our 3rd (youngest) breastfed til 15 months, which was handy since she was anaphylactic to dairy. So obviously, baby and mother’s health are paramount concern and putting pressure on women who can’t or won’t breastfeed is wrong.
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I think it is really sad that breastfeeding can not be discussed without an argument breaking out. A breastfeeding culture means women being able to openly breastfeed with confidence. This normalises the practice. Our rates are never going to be as high as premodern societies due to the number expectations placed on women and the demands they place on themselves. Bottlefeeding is simpler and that option will always win out. Formula is not as easily digestible so it sits in the stomach longer creating a ‘full’ feeling. This is likely to then help a baby sleep longer and therefore the family.
A breastfeeding culture demands a huge change to our way of life and I do not think women (or men) will give that up quickly.
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If we’re going to go along your path of reasoning Faybian, expressing breastmilk to be fed by bottle is also an unnatural process.
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Of course my statement was absurd? I just found the sentiment better expressed by ClaireC.
Rudge if I lived on a farm, I probably would eat food I’d grown and killed myself, but clearly I don’t.
Someone else put it well elsewhere. We don’t see enough of childbirth/breastfeeding anymore. I think that’s got a lot to do with why it can be such a struggle.
Maybe it’s more that I feel it’s disappointing that mothers instinctively don’t want to breastfeed.
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I agree Faybian. Once upon a time when people lived in very communal/tribe situations girls would witness women breastfeeding around them from day one. It is a natural thing to do, but still has to be learned and required technique – perhaps wetnursing was common then too, I don’t know. Because of the way our culture has developed breastfeeding has become a more discreet undertaking.
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Id say the practice of wet nursing used to be far more common than we realise. Some mums have heaps of milk and fat, contented babies, while others of us have skinny, not quite so happy babies and no milk to share around. I wish that milk banks would become more popular.
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I so agree with you!! I think as long as you are feeding your baby and your baby is healthy and thriving, who cares if they are breastfeed or bottlefed. What matters most is a happy contented bub and mum
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No mother is perfect, we all do things differently to each other. Though we all, mostly, try to do the best we can by our children. We are all aware that breastfeeding is the best option, when everything else is working. When its not working, a baby who is well hydrated and who is receiving adequate nutritrion is the best thing. In whatever form that may come.
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” we all do things differently to each other” – including babies!
It really bugs me how some people like Tara believe the way to restore some sort “breastfeeding balance” is to lecture and pressure mothers about what they “should” do. Sometimes breastfeeding doesn’t work, no matter how coaching a Mum has.
Many of us were fed formula, and we’re healthier than our breastfed counterparts.
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My child who was breastfed the longest spent most of her childhood on antibiotics for tonsilitis and ear infections.
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I’m all for supporting the rights of women to use their bodies in any way they choose. I wouldn’t judge anyone, who chose not to continue, but I would wonder they might have succeeded with more support. And when you look at the maths, it just isn’t right that only 15% of women breastfeed exclusively. There is no way possible that that proprtion of 85 % women can’t breastfeed or we would never have survived as a species!
It’s not always easy, but what about parenting is? Some things you need to persevere with until you get more confident, if that is, you are well supported by a network of health professionals, friends and family who have the best interests of the child at heart.
In my experince, lots of mums give up because their baby is crying a lot. Well, newsflash…babies do that…. heaps!! And they will do that even if you give them formula.
Being born is crazy wierd and babies are adjusting to it all- and for some it’s a bit intense. Then there’s reflex, tiredness etc etc.
I think education is huge, and personally I found the ABA breatsfeeding education classes great, and hospital lactation consultants (in a breastfeeding friendly hospital)
So many paediatricians so quickly tell mums to give up too which is disappointing.
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I’m really surprised you read the article as lecturing. I thought the article was about creating the right environment to support breastfeeding, not badgering mums who can’t. I’m genuinely surprised you got that tone from it because I thought totally the opposite.
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I certainly don’t think Tara is preaching and pushing mums into breastfeeding. What she is doing is giving us information that we may not know, just like you get from the doctor when you go to him for a sickness. You want to have information and this is what Tara, the ABA, the lactation consultants and the baby friendly hospitals are trying to do – the Getting of Wisdom!
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Great article and fully support the feeding of babies, period regardless of the method. But can we move on from this topic MM? Even as both a breast feeding and formula feeding mum, I’m over it!
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I was – and am – totally pro-breast feeding. I think it is the best thing for baby.
BUT sometimes it doesn’t happen. I had the best breast-feeding help money could buy – both in an excellent private hospital with round the clock experienced lactation consultants, and then once we were out of hospital, I threw heaps of money at a private lactation consultant, who people swear by.
Still didn’t happen. No milk ever came in.
I think it is really important to have lots of help – which should be state funded to continue long after the hospital visit – but even then, sometimes it just doesn’t work out.
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Interesting article…. BUT… I really wish hospitals that are in this initiative would tell new first time mothers ‘breast feeding hurts, can be incredibly uncomfortable and time consuming’.
I’ll never forget sitting in the hospital with my first baby trying to feed while watching a feeding video a very unhelpful midwife put on to help me. The first line came up with ‘breast feeding is 100% comfortable, natural and pleasant’. I sat there feeling totally deflated as I was not experiencing anything remotely like that!
I breastfed both my bigger kids now 4 and 2 till about 7-8 months. My only reason for weaning was that in that whole time neither of them would take a single bottle.. Which meant in that time the very longest I had away from them was 2-3hrs…. Which, in order for me to be a happy mother was not enough! They also blessed me with mastitis a combined total of about 12 times, pleasant?? …. No.
Am now breast feeding miss 7 weeks. And will probably go till about 6 months.
I desperately wish Lactation consultants, midwives etc would be much more honest about breast feeding!
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I agree – I think women need to be taught about the good and the bad with regard to breastfeeding. It can certainly be uncomfortable, painful, difficult and time consuming in the early days, but I think women should also be told that for the vast majority of women, things will improve dramatically once breastfeeding is well established.
In the early weeks after my first son was born, I had five bouts of mastitis, cracked nipples, and a massive oversupply of milk that caused my breasts to be continually swollen and painful. After a few weeks though, things settled down and I eventually got to the point where breastfeeding was not only completely painless, but beautiful, easy and enjoyable. Unfortunately, I think a lot of women give up (through difficulty, lack of support or ill-informed advice) during the difficult early phase, and never have the chance to experience breastfeeding as ‘comfortable natural and pleasant’.
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KDot is little weight wise – she’s always been on the lowest percentile. Which is fine now – she’s tracked along and hasn’t dropped. But when she was little, there was concern about her weight. I went to the baby health centre and they sent me home with this DVD (can’t remember the name) and all it did was make me feel worse as we were doing everything right, and that week of having that dvd and then going back for another weigh in was hard. Coupled with people asking how old she was and “Oh she’s very small for x weeks”. Good times. She has always had a great appetite, started foods early and eats and breastfeeds with gusto.
I have only had 1 hit of mastitis that I caught early, so it never really developed, and apart from those early weeks, breastfeeding has been a breeze.
I linked this story in a group I’m in on facebook, and the first comment was that baby friendly hospitals won’t stop annoying relatives with their opinions and advice. That’s true, but better support in hospital to get things going and then support when you go home will go a long way to helping people be more confident about breastfeeding, for however long they end up doing it.
A massive part of the support thing is asking for help too. I don’t think that happens as much as it could, and there is so much help out there. People aren’t mind readers and there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. My area has breastfeeding drop in clinics where you can go along each week and get help with breastfeeding, but it also gets you in an environment where you can ask about other stuff, and also it just gets you out of the house! These kind of things I found invaluable.
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Are we not at a place where we can just support mothers full stop no matter how they feed their child?
I have always been shocked when I hear how low the rate of breast feeding in Australia is – that is until I made the choice after 4 months to bottle feed my daughter.
I just dont believe the old saying “everyone can breastfeeding” because I simply couldn’t. My daughters first bottle top up was at 24 hours.
I am not going to bore you with my story but I really did want to keep breast feeding and I did everything I could to make this happen but at 4 months I made the decision to move to bottle.
Please let’s just get on and support each other and love our gorgeous bubs.
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I found breast feeding very difficult for the first 8 weeks and would go as far to say that its is the hardest thing I have ever done, Many times I wanted to give up but thanks to the support of my wonderful partner we persevered and made it work. My son is now nearly 14 months and I have returned to work and am still able to breastfeed him in the mornings and evenings and express milk throughout the day. The only negativity that i’ve encountered is a few raised eye brows at the fact we are still breastfeeding but i know that i’m doing what is right for both of us so could not care less what others think.
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I had a really diffcult time breastfeeding my son who was born a week early and had attachment issues so expressed at every opportunity so he could continue to be exclusively fed breast milk whilst seeking help from a lactation consultant.
On one occassion my milk was coming out a little darker in colour than normal so before I fed it to my son, I phoned the ABA helpline just to check why this might be happening and if it was ok to give it to him and the first words I got from the lady who took my call were “well if you were actually breastfeeding him you wouldn’t know what colour the milk was would you?”. This was then followed by a ten minute lecture on how I should not be expressing but rather persisting with my son’s latch on (despite the fact that this was indeed what I was trying to do).
Needless to say, I got off the phone devastated and feeling even more guilty than ever. After I got over my tears I was lucky to get some much better guidance from my ob and his midwife who were fantastic and reassuring.
I realise this is only one experience and possibly very bad luck to have been put through to this particular advisor but it is still very scary to think that you call these “help lines” at such an emotionally vulnerable time and end up feeling worse!
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I breastfed for a long time and actually enjoyed it. BUT at the start I had bad grazing on my nipples and was very sore and rang the ABA for advice and like u, they were not helpful what so ever! I could hear the lady on the other end flicking through a book which I could have done myself!
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I breastfed my first for 20 months. By the end of that time, it was just a single very early morning feed. Slowly, it began to be an early morning feed every second or third morning, then she slept past that 5am feed every day. I can’t even remember when her last breastfeed was, and I’m glad that she weaned herself, peacefully and so slowly that I had no issues with engorgement or mastitis.
Bub number two is breastfeeding away at 8 months, but I suspect that she will not feed as long (you cannot force an older baby to continue to breastfeed!) She will only feed in a darkened room or if she is very very thirsty/hungry. I have not fed her in public for months because she won’t have it: too much else to look at!
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WOW – three cheers for Tara and this article! Wonderful stuff, a great initiative and sensible information. Whilst I wholley believe that breastfeeding is a choice the mother gets to make, as Tara said, it’s also about ‘informed’ choice. Making sure women (and dads, doctors and familys) have the true information on breastfeeding, how it works, its benefits and its realities, and so on. – particularly w more support for mothers from family and medical staff. I think if people were more educated about breastfeeding, the rates could only continue to climb. Very happy to see this article!!
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Great article, as always, Tara! I think the ‘guilt’ thing is worth talking about. There seems to be a lot of defensiveness and guilt on here from mums who haven’t breastfed, along with an assumption that “some women just can’t breastfeed”.
There is no doubt that a very few women *can’t* breastfeed, but that number is pretty minuscule. In Norway, I believe breastfeeding rates are around 97% upon leaving hospital, and still at about 80% 3 months later – FAR higher than our rates.
Women in Norway can’t be *that* physiologically different from Australian and British women – so the “some women just aren’t built to do it” argument doesn’t really hold water. If 97% of Norwegian women can breastfeed successfully, then it’s not down to a physical problem.
So what’s missing? As Tara says, we need more breastfeeding-friendly workplaces, as well as better maternity leave policies, better social and cultural support, more education of grandparents and other support people (to prevent the “Oh I wish you would let Grandma give him a bottle” pressure).
Re the ‘guilt’ thing, I read a great analogy a while ago:
Imagine two people were in a bad accident and both had spinal injuries. Your doctor said to you, “You *could* undertake some fairly onerous physical therapy, it will be painful, it will be hard work and at times you will want to give up.”
“Therefore I recommend you start preparing for life in a wheelchair. After all, you will be able to do just about everything that everyone else can do, there are great facilities for people with disabilities and you will live a great, full life”.
Your partner doesn’t want to see you in pain or discomfort either, so your partner agrees with the doctor, and you take the advice and start your life in a wheelchair.
A year later you see the other person who was in the same accident. Only they chose the physical therapy option. THey say to you, “It was HARD, it was painful, I wanted to give up so many times, but I finally managed it. And now, after a several months of hard work, I’m finally walking again.”
As the person in the wheelchair, would you feel guilty? Or would you feel really let down by your doctor and your support network? And regret that you didn’t know then what you know now.
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Sorry – but I found this analogy really offensive. First of all it perpetuates the myth that with enough support and perserverance nearly all women can breastfeed – this is what makes women feel guilty – they are getting support, they could write a textbook about attachment, building up supply etc and for some IT STILL DOESN’T WORK or if it does it is to the detriment of their own physical and mental health and sometimes their families. I don’t know why it “works” in Norway – but everything seems to work there. Secondly it equates bottlefeeding to being in a wheelchair. For the millions of people out there who were formula fed – it has not been a handicap – please explain how it has impacted on their long term health?? Can you honestly tell me that you or anyone else would be able to tell the difference between a formula fed child and adult and a BF one? In which case why the fanaticism surrounding BF? It is one aspect of mothering – by all means if you can do it – but if you can’t your chances of having a healthy child are still EXTREMELY high.
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People in Norway are also heavily taxed to support their generous social security system.
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I know, aren’t they luky! They’ve got their priorties right. They believe in a greater good. This country is all about self-fulfilment and individualism. Sad.
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The analogy actually made me laugh. Then I just felt superior for not being a complete tw*t!!!
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“perpetuates the myth that with enough support and perserverance nearly all women can breastfeed”
But it’s not a myth – if 97% of Norwegian mums can do it, then it’s *not* a physical reason – the problem lies with support/education/cultural reason/family/work/maternity leave/whatever. It’s just about identifying those reasons and working on them.
“Secondly it equates bottlefeeding to being in a wheelchair”
Obviously an analogy is not exact, otherwise it wouldn’t be an analogy. It is just pointing out that some women might not be prepared for the discomfort and hard work that breastfeeding involves, and may opt not to struggle through that first few difficult weeks, therefore missing out on a great long-term breastfeeding relationship. I am not *saying* that formula fed babies are handicapped. Again, it’s an ANALOGY.
“Can you honestly tell me that you or anyone else would be able to tell the difference between a formula fed child and adult and a BF one?”
Evidence is clear that formula fed babies *on the whole* tend to have more problems with obesity, asthma, allergies etc. Perhaps your baby has none of these, and you are lucky, but your baby’s *statistical likelihood* of having them is increased by being formula fed. No judgment, no criticism, just plain old evidence-based fact.
It’s like saying that you can’t tell the difference between a baby that was read to every day as a baby, or a baby from a smoker’s household, or a baby who had a working mum or who isn’t vaccinated. THere is evidence that shows all these conditions create babies with *increased likelihoods* of certain traits – asthma, low birthweight, improved literacy, vaccine preventable diseases, more independence, whatever. You need to understand that statistical probability is different to your individual experience.
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Uh oh. My baby was formula and breastfed. Where’s your analogy for that one Trixie???
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Only one leg works?
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That’s funny.
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I think you might not understand what an analogy is…
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Trixie I have BF all my children – and am currently BF my third – with no problems at all (other than I can’t express enough milk to ever go out anywhere!). I am not looking for reasons to “justify” FF. I agree that women should be given support and encouragement to BF – when it works, as it is for me, it can actually make your life easier – I find sticking the boob into my baby an easy and convenient way to settle him and travelling is a lot easier without the hassle of bottles and sterilisers etc. I also agree that it is important that women are given support to overcome some of the initial hurdles as often they do go away and you are then spared the expense and hassle of FF. However, I also feel very strongly that the benefits of BF are overstated. In particular I feel all women are entitled to know:
* Latest studies suggest BF does not protect against asthma, allergies or excema. Infact there are studies linking BF to higher incidences of these.
* There is ongoing debate about whether it is actually the properties of breastmilk or the choice to breastfeed and the parenting that goes with this (ie better educated mothers, healthier lifestyles etc) which is responsible for much of the benefits ie IQ, obesity etc
* Even the undisputed benefits, lower incidences of Gastro and reduced risk of SIDS, when put into context (and not just a mathematical statistic) are minimal
* There is evidence that perservering with BF when it is to the mental and physical detriment of the mother can have serious negative consequences for baby amd mother (ie PND, poor bonding) and negate any of the positive benefits.
* Evidence of weight loss for mothers is controversial – some studies conclude it inhibits weight loss due to increased appetite and lack of freedom (on a personal note I always stack on the weight BF!!)
* BF may be natural – however if we’re honest about our lifestyles we are so far removed from what is “natural” that I fnd it strange that this argument is even used. Is it natural to have fridges, electric breast pumps, packaged foods, the internet… the list could go on!
I really urge mothers to look at the work of Joan Wolf. You don’t have to agree with her – but I think all women are entitled to know that there is reputable information out there that questions the extent of the benefits. Unlike you and Tara Moss I don’t think there is a taboo surrounding BF – I think it’s the opposite there’s a taboo, surrounding FF. It really pains and embarrasses me to confess that one of the reasons I BF all of my babies was because I wanted to be seen to be a “good” mother.
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http://www.oecd.org/dataoecd/30/56/43136964.pdf
Sorry Trixie – the Norway figure you were quoting sounded a bit funny to me – according to this approx 97% of babies in Norway do receive some breast milk, not much higher than Australia but like most countries it is no where near that figure by 3 months. So, if this data is correct, even Norwegian mothers struggle with breastfeeding!
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I never found breastfeeding to be hard, painful or inconvenient and never wanted to give it up until after my children were 2 years old. In fact it was the easiest & most successful thing I’ve ever done! …so not a good analogy! Hard would have been not breastfeeding & having all that work with bottles!
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No, nor did I Sienna. Apart from a couple of cases of blocked ducts that *nearly* turned into mastitis I have breastfed very successfully, and am still breastfeeding my 16 month old. But I happily acknowledge that I was fairly lucky, and I think it’s only fair that women go into breastfeeding knowing that there *may* be tough times, especially in the first few months.
That knowledge, along with education and support may mean that when there is a bad period (of mastitis, sore nipples, low supply etc) women are prepared for it, but are also aware that it will end, and they have a chance to continue breastfeeding for as long as it works for them and their bub.
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Deeply, deeply offensive (not to mention laughably inaccurate) analogy. Wow – what would you possibly know about the reasons (medical) why I was unable to breast feed my son. Apparently it was just because I wasn’t brave and strong enough to overcome the obstacles in my way. And sorry but it wasn’t a failing of my support network either. Guess I am a crappy mother after all… Do you honestly not understand how ridiculous that analogy is?
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Trixie I agree completely! I have breastfed two kids til 10 and 13 months and am now breasfeeding my 10 month old. I had never seen anyone breastfeeding before, was a bit worried about what to expect but went to a class at the BFHI hosp I went to and ended up with plenty of milk and no serious probs except mastitis twice. I think this was because I was relatively relaxed and informed about it.
If you want ‘easy’ DON’T have a baby! Nothing much about them is easy! But so many women make up excuses like ‘i don’t have enough milk’ ‘my milk didn’t come in’ ‘he/she wants to feed every hour/two hours’. If YOU don’t want to solve you’re breastfeeding problems then OWN that decision because it perpetuates the idea that bresfeeding problems can’t be solved and most women I know have solved their problems and gone on to feed well.
We meant to feed our babies with out own milk!
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Lauren C, I really didn’t have enough milk. I tried everything I could and even saw different lactation consultants. I am not making excuses by saying I didnt have enough milk, I really didnt. Please respect that some mothers do bottlefeed and not because we are lazy or uninformed.
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I totally empathise with you. I too did not produce enough milk despite working with a lactation consultant for four months, expressing after feeds, using a supply line, taking medication, cosleeping etc I have been shocked to realize how little is understood about low milk supply and how little research is being done into it. It is very sad that women who have not been faced with such a problem can be so unkind and lacking in compassion. It is a source of continued sorrow for me that I could not fully breastfeed my child. My sense of failure is not helped by other women who fail to be understanding.
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I think your comment, ‘if you dont want easy dont have a baby’ is insulting LaurenC. Mothers make decisions every day about the care of their children that they consider to be the very best choice for their family.
If its not in line with our own personal view we could dismiss many parenting decisions (breastfeeding/bottle, cloth nappies/disposable, vaccinating/not vaccinating, stay at home mums/working mums, attachment parenting/ non attachment, organic food/any food, homeschooling/traditional schooling…) as taking the easy way out. Being able to breastfeed does not make a good mother. Thats something society will decide when the child grows up and becomes a productive member of society..or not.
Breastfeeding can make women physically and emotionally unwell and unable to care for their baby at all, especially when it isnt working, something I know from personal experience. So I think its unhelpful to suggest that all breastfeeding problems can be overcome.
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Wow – super compassionate LaurenC. Have you considered that some bottle feeding mums give you simplistic answers because they don’t feel like going into detail about their medical issues, medications they might be taking or quite simply because they sense your judgey attitude. After about the millionth time I was questioned by strangers about why I wasn’t breastfeeding my son, I ended up giving basic answers such as the ones you have listed for my own mental health. MamaMia, I have no problem with the original article, but the judgmental and downright cruel comments that always spring up in the comments section when it comes to breatsfeeding make me very tired and sad.
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I agree LaurenC. I breastfed my babies until 10 months, because that was (in my day) the time limit on breastfeeding, as after that time – the milk had “gone off”. What rubbish. I had to go to the doctor and he gave me an injection to dry up the milk, because I could have breastfed a small country. I am just wondering if the age of the mother is a factor with milk not coming in. I think really, it is the amount of milk making tissue you have in the breasts, that determines your success or failure.
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Your entire opinion is laughable. You have never had low supply or depression and being unable to produce enough milk to feed your baby so how would you know anything about it?? I repeat HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
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I have no idea what your medical reasons are, Anon, nor did I pretend to anywhere in my post.
I was just pointing out that there are very few women who physically can’t breastfeed. The gap between our breastfeeding rates and those of Scandinavian countries can’t be explained away by physical reasons. So why don’t we explore the social and cultural reasons for our poor breastfeeding rates, to try and improve our breastfeeding rates to at least WHO minimum standards?
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Before I had my 4.5yr old son I had never even seen anyone breastfeed in person before, at the time I didn’t even think twice about that fact but now it seems really odd to say the least. I went on to have huge attachment, engorgement and mastitis issues that lead to weaning him at only 10 days old which just about broke my heart. When I asked for help from my local MCHN she shrugged her shoulders and said she’d seen worse pain and bleeding before and I immediately thought I am so weak and pathetic as a mum.
When we got pregnant with my daughter 2 years ago I sought out help from a private lc and got the opportunity to get to know her while I was still pregnant and discuss my previous issues and steps to help avoid them the 2nd time around. She then came to my house the day I went home and called me everyday for the first ten days to help answer questions and keep me positive during the rough early days. I then went on to breastfeed my little girl for a wonderful 1.5yrs until she self weaned. I only wish I had the knowledge and support the first time around for my son. Education and support are SO vital if you want to give breastfeeding a go, everyone deserves it
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Wow, your LC sounds great! I had a similar experience with my first and would like to try again when I have another baby. Would you mind telling me what LC you used?
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Her name was Leonie Maybury (she services the eastern suburbs of Melbourne). I found her through this site:- http://www.lactation.org.au/consultants good luck
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I must also give a huge thumbs up to Leonie. After my daughter failed to latch in hospital, and I had minimal help from midwives, I expressed and bottle fed for 3 weeks until my MCH referred me to Leonie due to my extreme exhaustion. (I was expressing 2 hourly, feeding 3 hourly and barely sleeping) She came to my home within 24 hours, and I have been breastfeeding beautifully with the aid of a nipple shield due to flat, fibrous nipples which nobody pointed out in hospital could be why my baby couldn’t latch.. with Leonie’s constant phone and email support (which she doesn’t charge for) I am sleeping, my partner is sleeping and our baby has started sleeping 6 hours through the night at only 5 weeks of age. I was in tears constantly and almost about to give up and put my baby on formula which was only making me more and more depressed and anxious. Leonie was like a little magical fairy who blew into our home and helped us feel like we might just get through it and be decent parents. The burden of being unable to feed your baby is a big one. If I have another child, I will be booking Leonie to visit on day one. I won’t put myself, my partner or my baby through that again and anyone who is struggling with feeding please find a LC in your area ASAP for assistance. You are not the only one struggling and these professionals will take the weight of the world off your shoulders, I promise!
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When the term ‘exclusive BF for 6 months’ is used does it mean:
(a) no formula but can include intro of solids; or
(b) no formula and no solids
If it is (b) then I totally understand why the rates of exclusive BF are so low given the most recent findings that solids should be introduced from 4-6 months.
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I’m sorry but this is false information that seems to do the rounds even in the medical community. The research (and the World Health Org) still recommends introducing solids from SIX months on, not four months. Otherwise, please quote your source saying it ‘should’ be fro 4 months.
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It is recommended by The Australasian Society of Clinical Immunology and Allergy (ASCIA)
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See http://www.allergy.org.au/images/stories/aer/infobulletins/2010pdf/ascia_infant_feeding_advice_2010.pdf
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Remember the W inWHO is for world. In first world countries, we have an epidemic of allergies, which can be life threatening. The concept of an immunologic window is both biologically plausible and supported by some studies, granted more are needed.
It also makes sense to give a range of 4-6 months, rather than a flat 6 months, as it allows for variation between babies in their readiness.
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Exclusive breastfeeding means no solids either. So I think focusing on the exclusive breastfeeding rate at six months is deceptive, as the great majority of Australian babies have started solid food at six months. Actually more than 50% of Aussie babies are still breastfeeding at six months, just not exclusively.
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THanks for that figure, Kat – I had wondered what the rate of “non-exclusive” BF at 6 months was.
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How about expressing milk in public? After I went back to work I spent every single break sitting on a toilet expressing for my son. It was totally OK to breastfeed him at my desk, but I wasn’t about to sit there with my shirt unbuttoned and two pumps going! But then I’d have to leave the washed pumps by the kitchen sink to dry – no one ever said anything, but the guys worked very hard at pretending not to see them.
That said, a friend of mine used to express while she drove to/from work. She got pulled over once: the cop was so embarrassed he totally forgot why he’d pulled her over!
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A good way of getting out of a ticket!
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On a slightly different note am I the only mum out there who hated “rooming in”. I felt like I’d been hit by a bus after the birth of all my babies and all I wanted to do was sleep – really wasn’t up to looking after my baby. Of course if you want to “room in” do it – but couldn’t there be an option?? Or would that mean employing more nurses??
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I checked all my babies out to the nursery for my entire hospital stay. I tried having them in my room but they’re noisy little things I couldnt sleep!
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In the public hospital I had my baby, there was no option but to ‘room in’. I got the impression the nursery was for very special cases.
And while it was incredibly difficult that second night with a screaming infant and me completely and utterly deprived of sleep after labouring, birthing, getting over the adrenalin rush and learning how to feed, I still don’t think I would have felt comfortable palming him off to the nursery. I wanted him close by.
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BF my three for over two years each and fed them anywhere and everywhere and never had a negative comment from anyone. In fact, I got many positive comments from strangers, usually older ladies. The only time I felt self conscious was around hubby’s mates and my GF husbands but that well and truly had worn off by the time we had number three. I think you just get used to having them out or maybe you’re so tired you just don’t care. Having said that, I don’t think anyone ever saw much boob (not that it should matter though, they’re beautiful things, not offensive in any way at all) .
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Quite honestly, I just don’t get it. Is our culture REALLY so anti-breastfeeding? Having 3 kids myself, I quite honestly never saw or heard anything but positives about breast feeding, and nothing but negatives or cautious neutrality about formula feeding. Before, during and after the births of my bubs in Brisbane I was surrounded by militant pro-breastfeeding nurses, midwives and lactation consultants all offering their advice and information at every turn!
And, just for the record, there is such as thing as being “built differently” with breasts that just don’t work properly. I am. I have flat nipples. Yes, I have heard ALL the advice on how to overcome the problem, and NO, it didn’t work. Believe me, I tried it all. I tried with 3 babies, and all 3 of them will tell you the same thing – mummy’s boobs just don’t work like they’re supposed to! It happens. But in the hyper-pro-breastfeeding environment that was my hospital, there was NO-ONE willing to admit that I just wasn’t built for it. Except for the very first nurse who gave me my first (premmie) baby for his first breast feed at about 3 days old. “Oh!” she said. “He has nothing to hang on to!”
If only I/we had the sense to call it right then and there and throw in the towel. It would have saved me, him and his 2 siblings months of pain and stress!
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I remember every book and article telling me that flat nipples should be absolutely NO obstacle to breastfeeding but my god it really can be a huge issue in terms of getting breastfeeding started
Thankgod for a good lc that admitted that it really could be to help me get things established
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