I recently lost seven kilos and boy was I smug about it. I felt triumphant, like I had finally figured out how to lose weight and keep it off – for the 700th time. All my problems were solved.
Now, I thought, I could finally move on from weight issues and truly enjoy life (as well as the occasional block of Cadbury’s pineapple chocolate, of course).
And damn you Cadbury’s for inveting that particular flavour, you motherf**kers.
It didn’t take long for me to re-gain five of those seven kilos, and I started questioning myself once again:
Why does my goal weight only last a day?
Why can’t I stop eating when I’m no longer hungry?
Then I stopped and thought; those naturally slim women who rarely, if ever, struggle with their weight are actually the odd ones out.
I am the one who science considers "normal".
I am one of the 80 percent of women who lose weight, only to put at least half of it, if not all of it, back on.
Hooray for me! My eating habits and fluctuating weight are normal.
Take that diet experts!
Behavioural scientist Professor Paul Aveyard has made his living trying to help people change their behaviours - which is apparently the key to keeping weight off - however I'm planning to take a different route.
Taryn Brumfit on the photo that broke the internet and how she went from counting every calorie to truly living. Article continues after this video.
What if we embrace those few "comfort" kilos for the role they play in helping us cope with life's difficulties?
What if we forgive ourselves for gaining weight and enjoy the process of losing it?
What if we accept that sometimes we do need to use food for comfort?
What if we just enjoy the ride, the ups and downs, the ins and outs, the Cadbury weeks and the smoothie weeks?
What if we just stop letting weight-gain and weight-loss be such a big friggin' deal?
Behavioural scientist Paul Aveyard says he knows how teach us to stop using food for comfort and shared his handy tips with the BBC:
1. Make rules and stick to them;
2. Keep control after reaching your ideal weight;
3. Weigh yourself daily;
4. Be committed to your goal;
5. Be consistent to form habits;
6. Don't keep junk food at home;
7. Get moving;
8. Spend time with healthy friends;
9.Keep trying and don't give up.
It's time we accept ourselves, and our weight fluctuations, and choose to live.
We can use food as comfort, enjoy every bite and then deal with it later without the guilt and the hate and the shame.
By allowing ourselves those normal and natural weight fluctuations we are loving ourselves instead of hating ourselves. By loving ourselves, and accepting weight-gain when it is needed, we understand that we don't need to comfort eat every day, just until the stress of whatever is happening is over.
Otherwise we end up comfort eating to comfort ourselves over our weight-gain. It's an endless cycle.
To stop this, we need to ride the wave and enjoy the ride.
Sometimes, we need to eat chocolate to feel better and sometimes we don't need to eat anything to feel better because we're okay.
Doesn't it make more sense to live this way?
Top Comments
I don't think weighing yourself every day is very healthy at all! My greatest success has been educating myself about food by paying to see a properly qualified dietician. I've been pretty chunk for a lot of my life and found the dietician's education really valuable.
After spending my youth at the low end of my healthy weight range because I wanted to be thin, I reached adulthood and stopped caring. Consequently I've gained and lost more than 20kgs 3 times in the last 30 years. I'm currently nearly halfway through losing 50kgs that will take me back to my ideal weight.
It has been a slow process, nearly 18 months, with lots of "consolidation" periods where I don't worry about what I eat but focus on what habits I've changed. Chocolate and emotional eating are my weakness. So here are the habits I've formed so far
1. I always plan to eat chocolate either as a small, daily amount or as a weekly binge.
2. I buy large quantities of chocolate when it's on special and keep it out of sight in a hard to get to location. I tell myself (and believe) that I have the necessary self-control to dole out the chocolate after all I successfully manage my finances without spending every cent on the first day because it's there.
3. I take time to slow down and enjoy my treats. I stop eating and chuck out food that is making me feel ill because it's too rich or burning my mouth because it's too sweet. (This is a brainwashing technique that I needed to force myself to do the first few times, but it helps with 1&2)
4. I avoid eating treats with people who poison my food with their sanctimonious attitudes.
5. When I over-indulge I focus on how sluggish and depressed I feel afterwards and cook my favourite stir fry and drink more water to "detox".
6. I go for a "comfort" spa and sauna with or without a swim when I feel stressed.
7. If I crave chocolate at unplanned times I eat 1-2 fresh dates.
Oh, I use dates too. I found that choosing something that's not high in sugar and fatty but still sweet enough to kill the craving works wonders in resetting the cravings to wanting something less processed; a baked apple (easy on the butter and sugar), or yoghurt and fruit for example.
Mmmm, dates.
I like dark chocolate - like 70% & higher. It fills a chocolate craving, but it's not sweet, & it's so intense that I can only eat 2 blocks anyway.
Baked apple. Excellent idea! It's been freezing here in Adelaide.
Or a date filled with a little peanut butter and a little bit of dark chocolate (half a Lindt square) . Like a snickers but better.