This post deals with miscarriage and might be triggering for some readers.
On Wednesday, Meghan Markle published an essay in The New York Times, sharing that she had a miscarriage earlier this year.
In the deeply personal piece, the Duchess of Sussex shared that she realised she was losing her second child after experiencing a cramp in July.
"After changing [Archie's] diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right," she wrote.
"I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.
"Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears."
Meghan speaks about her struggles in Meghan and Harry: An African Journey. Post continues below.
Throughout the piece, the 39-year-old acknowledged the toll of the COVID-19 pandemic, as well as the injustice of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd's death.
She also stated that while losing a child is sadly a common experience, it's one that is still not talked about nearly enough.
"Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few. In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage. Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning," she shared.
"Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same. We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing."
In the days after the personal essay was published, the world's eyes have been drawn to the Royal Family, as royal commentators pondered whether they would publicly respond to the news.
According to Vanity Fair's royal correspondent, Kate Nicholl, the Royal Family have been aware of Prince Harry and Meghan's pregnancy loss for months.
"I understand they've been very supportive of it," she shared on BBC Radio 5.
"They were aware of what had happened. Harry was in constant touch with them over the summer and they knew what they were going through," she continued.
"They’re not the first royal couple to go through this trauma and this heartache, but certainly Meghan is the first royal to talk about it so publicly and so graphically and so movingly.
"The royals are very much of the mantra never complain, never explain. We don’t hear them opening up their hearts but if ever I knew a royal that does and wears his heart on his sleeve, it’s Harry and Meghan is clearly cut from the same cloth.
"My understanding is that they have been supported by the royal family throughout this episode."
Speaking on Lorraine, Princess Diana's brother and Prince Harry's uncle, Earl Charles Spencer, offered his public condolences to the couple.
"I can't imagine the agony for any couple losing a child in this way and it's so very, very sad," he said on Lorraine. "All thoughts with them today."
However, in the public eye, the Royal Family have done little to support the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, who chose to step back as senior members of the Royal Family at the beginning of the year.
When pressed on the matter, a Buckingham Palace spokesperson said: "It's a deeply personal matter we would not comment on."
Likewise, other senior members of the Royal Family, including Prince Charles and Prince William, have declined to comment.
Listen to Mamamia's daily entertainment podcast, The Spill, below. Post continues after podcast.
The lack of response from the Royal Family speaks volumes.
In fact, some royal commentators have even compared the non-response to how the Royal Family reacted in the days after Princess Diana's death.
Speaking on The Project on Thursday night, host Lisa Wilkinson criticised the Royal Family's response to Meghan's miscarriage, claiming that Meghan's message could have come much differently if the couple were still in the Royal Family.
"It was incredibly moving to read [Meghan's essay]. It’s also a reminder of why they left the Royal Family," she said.
"You know, Charles Spencer, Diana’s brother, he’s spoken about it, and really sent his deep condolences," she continued.
"The Royal Family, in the meantime, say this is a deeply personal matter, we don’t discuss this.
"So, had Meghan still been part of the Royal Family, she wouldn’t have been able to share that story and help lots of other women, and couples, going through the same thing."
And what a shame that would have been.
Feature Image: Getty.
For more on this topic:
- Meghan Markle's miscarriage, in her own words.
- Meghan Markle, Chrissy Teigen, and the particular cruelty of trolling a woman about her miscarriage.
- Mia Freedman: 'To those who wrinkle their noses at Meghan's story, I say you know nothing of grief.'
If this has raised any issues for you or if you would like to speak with someone, please contact the Sands Australia 24-hour support line on 1300 072 637.
Join the community of women, men and families who have lost a child in our private Facebook group.
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