real life

KATE: Meeting new people. Awesome or awful?

By KATE HUNTER

Remember Gilligan’s Island?

Such a great show, such a simple concept: What happens when a millionaire, his wife, a professor, a farm girl and a movie star are marooned on a desert island with a sailor and his ‘little buddy’? Genius.

I watched episode after episode as a ten year old, stretched out on the lounge room floor, my chin in my hands.

Last week, I walked the Milford Track in New Zealand and thought about Gilligan’s Island a lot. Stay with me here.

Sure, the environment was different, about twenty degrees colder than Hawaii, and more mugs of soup than coconut cream pies; but the dynamics of what happens when a  random bunch of people are thrust together in a remote location, was just as fascinating to me as the waterfalls and ferns. And there were some pretty awesome waterfalls and ferns.

As I get older, I seem to meet fewer new people. I don’t have enough time to see the people I already know and like, so I sort of avoid strangers. I read on buses and at parties, I stick to people I know. I’ve lost the energy for small-talk.

In my twenties, I was well up for making friends, getting out there, meeting new people. Also, I was single so I always had an eye out for ‘the one’.

But then ‘the one’ showed up and soon we were five and we cocooned. We saw our friends and our family and know our neighbours, but opportunities to get to know people different from ourselves didn’t present themselves, and I didn’t look for them.

And until last week, I’d forgotten what I was missing.

A guided walk isn’t my first choice of holiday, but Jim likes that kind of thing (active, outdoorsy) and once I’d established there were beds and bathrooms and wine, I was good to go. A holiday without the kids can’t be all bad.

I prepared myself to be awestruck by snow-capped mountains and trout-filled rivers and I was; but it was the people that gave me the biggest lift.

Our group was made up of 44 walkers and four guides. It was Gilligan’s Island, at altitude. Walkers included:

– A Canadian network news director

– A family from Manhattan (Dad looked ridiculously like Stephen Spielberg)

– A doctor from Haiti

– A Kiwi farmer

– A nurse from Melbourne

– An elderly Korean couple

– The production manager on the Mary Poppins stage show

– Three retired gents from Quebec

– A dour Yorkshireman and his perky fiancé

– A banker from Missouri

– A geologist from Chicago

– A Houston ‘oil man’

And others. And us.

Dinner in the lodges every night was a ‘Pull up a seat wherever,’ affair. I groaned, a little.

And it was awkward at first, then hugely entertaining, like Gilligan’s Island.

The old conversation-starters were out in force, ‘Do you do a lot of walking?’ ‘Is this part of a bigger trip?’ ‘What’s the weather like in Missouri?’ Cheesy, but those lines did their job and before long, people were nattering away.

I’ve remembered that you don’t have to dig too deep to find something in common with someone else and how much I enjoy people. Their stories beat a pretty view any day.

Do you enjoy meeting new people? Have you made a really good friend in the past few years?

Related Stories

Recommended

Top Comments

Hannah 11 years ago

When I was 20, I travelled overseas for the first time by myself to South America. While I had people ask me over and over again "Why are you going by yourself? Wont you be lonely?" I considered what they said, and it was a bit worrying to think I might be stranded on the other side of the world, alone.

However, straight away I made friends. And every time I've been overseas by myself since I've made friends. Of course some are people that you get along with during your stay, others are friends you keep in touch with, but there are some that stay with you for life (well so far!). I think it's important that everyone gets out of their comfort zone every now and then and make the effort to get to know others - because while the friends I have now are amazing, that doesn't mean there isn't always room for more!


Amanda 11 years ago

Great article Kate. I always enjoy your perspective on life!

I am quite introverted and a huge over thinker. I like making new friends but it can make me really anxious as we move through that awkward (am I being a stalker, is he/she feeling bored) phase of getting to know the other person. I have made a couple of new friends in 2012 and I think the process of getting to know them (a sort of platonic romance) might end up being one of the best parts of the friendships! There's one new friend in particular who I think is great but I worry that I might be expecting too much from them; that my vision of their greatness actually exaggerates their real greatness (though they are a perfectly nice person). Sounds like I try to make new friends just for the fun of my personal head games! Basket case!!