Forget December 25th – all our Yuletide wishes have been answered early, and not by a large man in a red suit.
Yeah, we never thought we’d be thanking Paris Hilton for the Christmas gift of a lifetime either, but here we are.
The reality star and hotel heiress has taken us back to a time we’d probably rather forget.
A time where our moody MySpace page defined us, we all had a pair of neon-coloured skinny jeans from Supre, and the tinier your flip phone, the better.
2006.
Specifically, these photos of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan (name a better trio):
Iconic.
There’s a lot going on here: Britney looks mildly pissed-off, Lindsay’s expression is one of excitement tinged with fear, and Paris and her Alice headband look like they… definitely shouldn’t be driving.
At the time, it led us to one enormous question: Where on earth could the epitome of troublesome squad goals be going?
We also predicted that whatever star-studded Hollywood party they were off to… wasn’t going to end well.
Well now, dear readers, we know the answer.
Paris Hilton, who we will be forever grateful to, went on Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM radio show and explained what exactly happened that night.
“Well Britney and I went out for the night… she [Lindsay] totally party crashed,” she began.
“We were all at the Beverly Hills Hotel, at the bungalows at an after party and Britney and I wanted to leave to go home and then she [Lindsay] started chasing us… and squeezed into the car.”
Paris added: "It was literally a two-seater SLR. She just squeezed in and I didn't want to humiliate her in front of all the paparazzi and be like 'get out of my car,' so I was like whatever.
"We went back to my house and then Britney and I just went to sleep. And then, I don't know, Lindsay probably went to another party. There was no Uber back then so she probably called a cab."
So Paris essentially stifled a "you can't sit with us" so Lindsay could avoid media ridicule (until now, that is).
When asked if she was still friends with Lindsay, Paris said, "No... just back in the day we were friends, but she's just one of those people I don't really trust. I only like to be around positive energy and good people."
Yeah, she really didn't hold back.
Back in 2017, Lindsay tweeted at Britney and Paris, asking them to come to Mykonos for her birthday, hashtagging "nicegirls" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .
(She also invited Beyonce, as you do).
She deleted the tweet, but here's the evidence:
Get practising.