Last night, I scrolled through my newsfeed while my two-year-old son ate dinner. “Nemo?” he said, eyebrow raised.
Two-second pause. “Nemo?”
Two-second pause.“Nemo?”
It’s a familiar soundtrack in our household, one that is beginning to sound more like a background humming than an actual request.
This routine surfaced after a day of hijacking my phone from me, pretending to talk and type on it, acting out the example I have been setting for him for the past two years. The behaviour was cute the first few times (I even tried to catch it on film) but it has now become a dreary reminder of my own downfall.
He finally accepted my bribe to watch his favourite film once he had eaten all his broccoli, and it struck me – we try to limit our kids’ screen time when we are barely leading by example ourselves.
Screen time is a well-known dilemma for parents. We complain to one another about how Toby is obsessed with the iPad and Charlotte won’t eat without Peppa Pig on.
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We’re beginning to grumble more it more than we do about their vegetable intake or sleeping habits.
We judge families who sit at restaurants, each glued to a separate device. We’d never allow that…even though we aren’t there yet. And we bemoan how we are all trying to follow the World Health Organisation’s advice not to allow screen time for children under one, and no more than one hour of screen time per day for children aged two to four.
The Sydney Children’s Hospital’s online guidelines link excessive screen time to difficulties with weight gain, sleep, communication, neck, back and eye health, as well as exposure to potentially harmful information.
It seems like we have all the information we need, and we’re trying to do the right thing…but are we?
I'm trained as a speech and language pathologist. This has lead me to focus heavily on the development of my son’s communication skills.
I tried to limit his screen time, at least for the first year of his life, and while doing so I played a lot - regularly commenting on our actions and pointing out important words.
But I didn’t think twice about my own behaviour. In fact, I think I entered that addictive scrolling-zone even more. It was a way to take a break from the repetitive routine of baby-land and see what was happening in the real world. It was my escape.
Listen: When should kids get their first phone? The team discuss on our parenting podcast, This Glorious Mess. Post continues after audio.
When I think about it, my behaviour screams of hypocrisy. Because it's not just what you say to them, but also the way you behave around your child. The more you’re on your phone, the less you’re engaging or encouraging their engagement - and the more you’re telling them that being addicted to devices is the norm.
And really, why would they think otherwise?
Do you have rules when it comes to screen time? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Lauren Brender is a mum, freelance writer, speech and language pathologist, and coffee addict.
Feature Image: Getty.
Top Comments
My son is two. I never use my phone or iPad in front of him for more than a couple of minutes and only to urgently message or make phone calls, check the weather or order groceries. I keep it on silent and have a smart watch that scrolls texts so I know if they need quick attention. It’s actually not hard to make it clear to your kids that their company is more important than mindless scrolling. I don’t ever want him having the memory of looking up at me at swimming, or a sports match, or a concert and I’m looking at my phone instead. And so no, he never asks for screen time because he’s 2 and has never had it. I make no apology if I sound supercilious. It’s a decision I made from day one and I’ll never regret it. Sarah
I'll admit I have become a bit of a social media/scrolling addict since having my kids - for the exact same reason you mentioned. It made me feel connected to the world outside of looking after my baby, something I desperately needed as my pre baby life - living in a big city, always travelling, active social life - was dramatically different to my life post baby - regional city, little to no travel, same for social life.
But my youngest is now 18 months and it's time to step back.
As for the kids screen time - I try to limit it also but sometimes it's just a sanity saver. For example, if rushing to get out the door or needing some time alone in the kitchen to make dinner.
The previous generation would also, read the paper, call places to make bookings and payments, go to the shops, ring their friends, use cook books, write letters etc.
All of these tasks can and are often facilitated through our phones. This centralisation of daily tasks to our devices compounds the issue. .