Halloween is just around the corner.
And with it, will no doubt come a slew of offensive costume choices that will light up social media with outrage.
This Halloween, don’t let it be you. Be safe out there honey pies. Remember the Halloween costume motto: “You might think it’s boring but it’s actually very politically correct, culturally aware, and an appropriate level of scary without being offensive”.
Catchy.
So, step away from the Kim Kardashian robbery costume and don’t even think about cracking open the black face paint. Forget the Indian headdress, or dressing up as Ben Cousins with a little trickle of baby powder out of your delicate button nose.
On the latest episode of Mamamia Out Loud, we came up with some far safer options. Except, we didn’t get far.
It’s hard these days. Even the most plainly innocuous costumes may be triggering to someone.
Let’s brainstorm.
A witch? That’s gendered and violent.
A ghost? Sorry, offensive to atheists.
Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz? Well, isn’t that considered a gay term?
A carrot?
Consider this your guide to what NOT to wear. Post continues below.
Yes. A carrot.
So far, I think the only safe choice is to dress as a carrot. Unless you go to a party of red-heads, in which case they’ll think you’re mocking them in a very passive aggressive way. You jerk.
A cat? Cute! Normally fine, although these days, a prickly choice. Someone might be dressed as Trump and try to grab you.
How about a tree? Everyone loves a tree. Sturdy. Leafy. Trunky. Safe choice. Slight chance it could be construed as a political statement. If your party is full of climate change deniers, re-think it. Or if it’s a party full of greens, it could be triggering in a different way and you’ll be hugged all night long.
100 years of Halloween costumes in 3 minutes:
How about avocado on toast? So hot right now. Beloved by millenials, who will smash you up like the gorgeous thing you are. Just watch out for the baby boomers; they’re offended by you. Scum.
Ok. Forget the carrots and avocado: what about the plainest item out there: white bread. Just plain ol’ white, sliced bread. Though. dress as a huge piece of bread and you’ll terrify all the coeliacs you come across.
Sigh.
Good luck out there Halloweeners. Remember the easy-to-remember motto above. Get out there, and trick or treat. Don’t trigger. And if all else fails there’s always this:
Listen to the full episode of Mamamia Out Loud below, and subscribe in iTunes.
Top Comments
I'm curious, does anyone out there actually do the whole trick or treat thing? There seems to be a ton of Halloween stuff in the stores, but I don't know anyone who actually celebrates it. I'll admit to being a bit cynical, but it strikes me as the retailers pushing for it to catch on here more than anything.
I know of a group that organised it in a local suburb. All known to at least one person in the group and organised to have balloons tied to the front fence so they knew which houses were "safe" to knock on.
I am really not comfortable with the thought of my kids walking around taking lollies from strangers so thought this was a good idea.
The kids in our street do it - with their parents watching from the top of the driveway. I don't agree with adopting overseas traditions, but it gives the kids a smile so it's kinda' hard to be grinch-ish (I'm not suggesting you are a grinch btw). It's much like how Feast described it below.
On another note, I suspect you are right with the retailers though.
Honestly, I always kind of envied the American kids on TV/ in movies, the whole Halloween thing looks like it would be super fun - free lollies, hell yeah! I wondered if Aussie kids do it because we don't really have any kids in our nieghbourhood, and my friends kids don't do it. I promise I wouldn't be grinchy at all if there were kids doing it round here! I'll be interested to see if it ever catches on here in a big way.
That sounds like a good way to do it - at least then the homeowners can be prepared and have lollies ready. I'd feel so mean if local kids came trick or treating and I didn't have anything to give them! Maybe I should buy some big packets of lollies... you know, just in case... :)