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Help: My daughter is seven. And I found this in her room.

By AMY CHENEY

I found this today in my daughter’s room. My daughter is seven. It was innocently sitting on the floor amongst the Polly Pockets, friendship bracelets and a variety of other crap seven-year-olds love to hoard.

Diyet. Jesus.

Where did she learn the word diet? How does she even know what a freaking diet is?

Whose fault is this? Is it mine because I let her play with Barbies? Because sometimes she’s allowed to watch Total Drama Action? Is it because when I draw with her I can only draw stick figures?

Seventeen Poosh-ups two times a day.

I felt sick. Physically ill. Like someone had knocked the air from my chest.

I could feel myself getting increasingly anxious the more words I was able to interpret from her seven-year-old spelling.

Three Appals, One Per, Two Keewee Froots.

How did this happen?

I am smart about this stuff. I have a degree in early childhood studies. Our family focuses on and promotes healthy eating and healthy bodies. Our attitudes are reasonable and balanced. Weight has never been an issue in our home – it is, for the most part, irrelevant.

I have never stood before my husband and queried ‘does my arse look big in this’. Ever.

Rid my bike three time a day.

And then I got angry. Really, really angry.

F*ck you society. F*ck you and your and stupid obsession with women and the way they look.

How dare you sneak into my home with your ridiculous standards and embed them in my little girls head, polluting her innocence with your pathetic ideals.

Jog/run up and down the driv way three times.

Your unrealistic expectations will not win in my house.

I am tired of the beauty and body obsessed arena we live in. I am tired of women being portrayed as objects to be saluted and admired or shunned and shamed depending on whether they measure up to societies idealistic standards. I am tired of the conformist attitudes. And then, because I was so tired (and sad, so sad) that I cried.

When Miss Seven arrived home from school I talked to her about her diet note.

Turns out she learned about diets from one of her seven-year-old friends who was on one.

So together we chatted about diets and beautiful healthy bodies and the gift that they are.

I am not naive. I know this will not be the last time I talk about food and weight and bodies with my daughter. I am just ultra pissed that it had to start when she was seven.

Amy Cheney is a sometime writer and mother of three little bitties (who quite literally drove her insane). You can check out more of her work here.

So. Diyets. Diets. Have you ever spoken about dieting or body image with your children? How do you handle that conversation? How old were you when you first became aware of your weight?

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Top Comments

Jamila Rizvi 11 years ago

Hi everyone

This beautifully written post by Amy has clearly struck a chord with so many of you. I want to thank everyone who participated in the discussion but most of all Amy for sharing her experience with the world.

I was absolutely touched by what she wrote and what she wants for her daughter. It scares me that these messages, despite the best parenting there is, still seep through to young girls - especially this early.

It's up to all of us to push back against those societal pressures and teach little girls that their self worth is about SO much more than just their looks.

Comments will close on this post as of 11.00am today.

Thanks.

Jamila - Editor.


Lorraine 11 years ago

Hello All, I am Amy's mother in law and grandmother of the little girl. I would like to tell you all that Amy is a wonderful mother to my 3 of my grandchildren (I have 22 grandchildren and another on the way, I also have 6 adult children) so I think that I am well equipped to comment.
I am very hurt and yes quite disgusted by some of the comments and very uplifted by others. Amy hold your head up high you are a wonderful mother.
I can truthfully tell all of the commentors that my granddaughter is a happy, healthy,acitve, loving child. She reads, (I know this well as we give all our grandies books, and she has loads more than what we give), she also have two robust young brothers, so all her play is not "girly", she has a wonderful extended family on both sides, to whom she relates wonderfully.
She is ver fortunate that she has the body type and genes that she will probably never suffer weight issues.
I am very proud of Amy for the way that she has handled the issue of the "diet" note with my granddaughter, and I also do not expect there to be any repercusionsabout this, life will continue on with a very happy, supportive family.
Love you Ames
Lorraine xx