This post is sponsored by The Biggest Loser (This is Jo Abi aged 12)
BY JO ABI
Being a fat kid isn’t any fun. I remember being teased at school for being a ‘fat wog’ (how creative). It’s quite a life-changer to have twenty skinny young girls pointing and laughing at you in the playground while your ‘friends’ inch away from you.
It was the first time I realised I was overweight. Now every time I overeat I remember that day and I hear their taunts in my head.
This is probably why I’m so paranoid about my own children’s weight.
Like most parents, I’ve been conscious of feeding my kids the right and healthy amount from the time they were born. My son went from being too little due a severe food allergy to my breast milk to making up for lost time on formula. I was so relieved he was eating that I let him have as much as he wanted.
The nurse at the baby clinic told me to restrict how much formula I was allowing him to have. She explained that the amount of fat cells he formed now would stay with him for life. At first I thought it was silly. Babies don’t need to go on diets. But I did start measuring his meals and was more careful from that point on.
My children are eight, five and three now and one of my biggest fears is that they will end up being overweight. I let them eat unhealthy food but not a lot. I offer them three healthy meals a day. If they aren’t hungry I put it away for later. I never make them eat when they don’t want to. And I don’t use food as a reward. Stickers and stamps work just as well as rewards.
The problem is that every time I restrict the type of food and the amount of food my children eat in public, someone always comments. “They’re only kids once”, “Let them have a treat”, “That’s a bit harsh”, “A bit of cake never hurt anyone”.
Bugger off.
I see so many overweight children these days. I know their parents don’t mean them any harm. They are often struggling with their own food issues. It’s just sad because we teach our children manners, we teach them how to count, how to cross the road with adults but we seem to think that if we talk to them about how to eat they’ll end up with eating disorders or something. But if we don’t teach them how to eat without putting on weight, who will? Isn’t it one of our most important jobs as parents to teach children how to eat in a way that encourages healthy and happiness?
I don’t praise my children for finishing food. I don’t equate finishing meals to good behaviour. I don’t let them drink slushies. I don’t let them have seconds when it comes to dessert but they can have a small piece and an apple.
I read an amazing book recently called The Heavy by Dara-Lynn Weiss. You remember her. She’s the New York mum who put her daughter on a strict diet and was hung, drawn and quartered for it. The Vogue article describing her as a socialite and glossed over the fact her daughter saw several doctors due to obesity. Read the article on Mamamia here .
Reading this book opened my eyes to the struggle of parents with overweight kids. She had a normal weight son and an overweight daughter. The judgements placed on her were typical of a society
Sam and Jess O’Malley, contestants on the upcoming season of The Biggest Loser
that judges us for restricting our children but also judges us if they are overweight. We are damned if we do, we are damned if we don’t. People made comment when her daughter was overweight and eating cupcakes, and people made comments when her daughter was losing weight and not allowed to eat cupcakes.
This is why I can’t wait for the latest season of The Biggest Loser. It teams parents with their children to break the cycle of obesity within their families. I saw the ads on TV last night and they make me want to cry. I never want my children to suffer as a result of their weight. To me, parents who teach children to take care of how they eat are brave. More of us should do the same.
The Biggest Loser is back in 2013 for what is possibly the most significant challenge in the history of the series: to help
break the cycle of generational obesity in Australia. We now know that habits formed early in life can follow on throughout childhood, adolescence and into adulthood. Bad habits in childhood can increase health risks such as cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure and Type 2 diabetes in a person’s adult life. The Biggest Loser is addressing these issues both within the program and through a free health and fitness initiative called The Promise. This year The Biggest Loser is not just a television event, but also a social movement, a movement that aims to break the vicious cycle of generational obesity. To find out more about how you can receive free health and fitness tips and help break the cycle of generational obesity, head to The Promise website.
This post is sponsored by The Biggest Loser. Comments on this post are just for this post. If you want to talk about the IDEA of sponsored posts or the choice of advertisers please click here. We will be reading all those comments too for feedback.
What was your relationship with food like when you were growing up? What’s your approach to kids and healthy eating? Would you ever put your child on a diet?
Comments
124 Comments so far
I agree completely and totally. I grew up fat, and I’m fat now although I finally found a way through plant based eating to get it off. Although I have zero doubts that I will finally achieve a normal weight, at 46 yrs old I’m facing the ravages of a body over inflated for so long. Yes, my health has returned, I have a spring in my step and my life is good. But at the cost of so much pain? I see fat kids and my heart breaks. I was 80 lbs by the time I was in the 2nd grade. There is no excuse for that. But always remember to always have their health at the forefront. Never call your kids fat or make them cold and hard when it comes to other kids. Help them to understand why you are doing what you do, and that the fat kids they go to school with are hurting and unhealthy and that it doesn’t make them bad.
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I really hope that the Biggest Loser will cease forcing contestants to consume copious extra calories as penalties for losing challenges. It would be much easier to believe in this show’s ‘social responsibility’ if that were the case…
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Idea for The Biggest Loser: why not have a season where you use more ordinary-sized contestants? I am quite unfit. Although I walk a lot, every day, I couldn’t run 50 meters without getting out of breath. I am also a bit overweight (5kgs, maybe, after having a baby who is now a toddler.) Just because I look okay doesn’t mean I am comfortable with my ‘love handles’ or the fact that half my wardrobe doesn’t fit. I would love to see people like myself on your show. You don’t have to be obese to struggle with indulgent or emotional eating, fitness and weight! Most people would benefit from being a bit leaner and fitter. And I reckon I’d give you just as many ‘moments’ on your show as a morbidly obese person! I would cry from exhaustion and being made to sweat, throw a temper tantrum if I thought Shannon or Michelle were being condescending and I would storm out if you tried to pair me with that odd, robotic specimen ‘The Commando’!!
I could relate to someone like me; I often find it hard to relate to the contestants you cast each season.
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I have a fundamental problem with the fact this show is called the biggest ‘looser’….. And everyone is ok with that?
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I’m pretty sure it’s the ‘Biggest Loser’ not ‘Looser’…and I’m okay with that…it’s clever…
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I was never a ‘fat’ child but I was a tall solid girl while my friends were little, all a good head shorter than me. When the class was made to do a weight chart in the 2nd grade because of my height I weighed in at the same or more than alot of the boys while my friends were all much lighter than me. Based on those numbers alone I was called fat. I was only allowed ‘junk’ food as a treat on weekends & always had 3 square meals (& always ate my vegies!), snacks were a piece of fruit. I also led a physical life riding horses & playing outside. I wasnt fat but I was strong. I think it’s important to teach children about healthy eating & monitor their food intake but also to explain how a persons genetics have an impact on their weight & just because one persons weight is more than anothers it doesnt mean the heavier person is fat.
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I agree whole heartedly with Jo’s article. I am not a mum as yet, but when I do have kids- teaching them to eat well and exercise to be healthy will be just as important as teaching them manners and the like. It is up to parents to give their children the best opportunity for a happy and healthy life and this starts off with the type of food they feed them and the connotations that they associate with it. It’s heartbreaking to see obese children and to think that they are dealing with issues like this when they are so young.
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I too was overweight as a child and am now conscunof what my own kids eat. I do not starve them, however, I do make sure they don’t have access to high calorie junk food. Why do I do it? I am their Mum and it is my job to teach them about healthy eating. No one else’s business. If I decide not to allow my children not to eat a particular, mind your own business and leave me alone to raise my child.
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So, issue of overweight children aside, can we just stop for a moment and not swallow (sorry, couldn’t help self) the story that The BL is the be all and end all for weight loss and that the trainers are some sort of angels in disguise. They might mean well, and care for their contestants but at the end of the day they are paid well and work to get ratings for the sponsors…c’mon people, don’t be fooled into thinking this is some kind of charity for overweight people.
A good mate of mine featured 2 seasons ago, she said the trainers barely came except for filmed challenges and the contestants were mostly left to their own devices with little to no guidance. Water loading to ensure a week of little weight loss followed by a big drop was common practice and some contestants basically starved themselves to get the big numbers. I don’t think this show is teaching people how to lose weight sensibly.
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Does anyone know why Tiffany isn’t in this season?
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shes doing more writing for her novels. they take up a lot of your time. im writing one. and i think shes writing 3 or 4 at the moment
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I just wrote a fairly lengthy piece on how I feel about this show and lost the lot – bugger !
However, the gist of it was that I love the final results on this show but have tremendous misgivings about some of the methods of achieving them.
It’s the BULLYING I can’t take and the way some of the “techniques” just serve to compound the general public perception that obese people are lazy, undisciplined children who deserve to be publicly chastised and humiliated.
Naturally then I’m very worried about those kids who’ve also been dragged into this modern-day “Victorian Side-show”.
There will be people at home who genuinely feel for these people and wish them the very best for their emotional & physical health.
There will be people at home gloating over their failures and their huge, vulnerable, exposed bodies,
Which one are you ?
I want to see a weight-loss show without the shouting, belittling, shaming & risk of heart attack & stroke every time one of those contestants struggles up a massive sand dune……..but then, I’m thinking like a viewer NOT a TV producer.
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Caz, it isn’t bullying. I’m not going to repost, but I talked about it further down.
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I agree Kris2040, I’m a viewer and the show doesn’t bully anyone. Sometimes I like it when my trainer yells at me and pushes me harder than I think I can go. The show is proof that there are NO excuses… It’s not hereditary, it’s a simple equation of burning what you put in!!! I can understand that some people have emotional dependencies and even addictions to food. But the show combats those issues and pushes the contestants to places they never thought possible. It’s not bullying Caz, they’re saving these people’s lives!
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I was a chubby kid, it was not my mothers fault, she fed me healthy food and let me have the occasional junk. But when I was 12 my parents divorced, my dad moved out and I didn’t see him much. I remember that period of my life being filled with uncertainty and fear, so I ate, sweet food made me feel better and when my mum pointed out my weight I ate from shame.
When I become a teenager I decided to get skinny to be accepted by family and my peers, I developed an eating disorder.
At 29 after many weight gains and losses I have finally made peace with food and my body & I feel better than ever.
I will never let my daughter feel that my love and acceptance is based on her weight and appearance, I believe that if we truly communicate with our children we can teach them to truly enjoy and be at peace with food.
I wish Jo Abi all the best with her issues and I hope she doesn’t pass them on to her children.
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I find the title of this post very sad and a little judgemental. So parents with overweight children “let” them get like that? Overeating is NOT the only reason why children are overweight, it could be down to illness amongst other things but your sweeping title lumps every parents with an overweight child into the same category – that they “let” them get overweight, it’s the parents fault.
How about loving your children regardless of what a number on a scale says? How about accepting that they may have “issues” and will need support and help, rather than judgement and scorn?
I know being a fat kid isn’t easy, lived that life. However the reason why it isn’t easy is because society says that if you’re fat, you’re worth less, you’re a slob, you’re unfit, you’re unhealthy and it shames you into feeling guilty and in the extreme, hating on yourself, which is really unnecessary when there are so many others who are already hating on you. By writing this article, you’re perpetuating this cycle and you’re doing it from a point of being someone who is supposed to love, unconditionally, regardless of what size their clothing is or what the scale says.
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But the amount of children in our society that are overweight due to bad eating habits vs the amount that have a medical illness is a little unbalanced.
Surely that rising number of overweight kids is not due to the increase of kids with medical issues that lead to weight issues.
Loving your children is teaching them the right things in life.
This is why we teach them how to say please and thank you, teach them the difference between right and wrong. Teaching them the difference between eating food to sustain yourself as opposed to eating to fill an emotion or eating just to clean the plate is part of parenting.
The rising number of overweight kids in our society is showing there is a big disconnect somewhere – as parents we need to do our part – both by ensuring we feed them right and encourage them to have an active lifestyle.
This article isn’t perpetuating a negative cycle. This article isn’t being read out to children in a classroom dividing the fat from the skinny. This article is from one parent to other parents sharing the idea that it’s our job to do what we can to make sure we set our kids up with the right attitude towards food.
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That may be the case but it’s still a form of fat shaming and it’s just not on and it needs to stop. It’s not just children that get fat shamed but adults too and it’s not okay to make someone feel horrible about themselves because of how they look.
By bringing children up telling them that being fat isn’t good, what do you think they’re then going to think when they see a fat person? They’re going to judge them more than likely because of how they’ve been brought up.
You can teach your children to look after themselves, eat right and exercise and put their health first, without having to indulge in fat shaming, unfortunately society is yet to learn how to do this.
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Being FAT is NOT ON!!! I think that these grossly overweight parents need to be shamed! Parents with malnourished children have them taken off them and are shamed yet these irresponsible parents who enable their children to get fat are supposed to be supported and accepted. That is the SAD thing.
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So is being judgemental – like you’re being.
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Hi Sad,
I can see where you’re coming from about fat shaming, teaching your children that people are bad simply because they’re fat is not helping them develop acceptance and understanding of the world around them. Put simply, it’s not good parenting.
However,
I am slightly confused by where you draw the line between educating and fat shaming. Teaching your children proper nutrition and the importance of exercise in growing big and strong for an overall healthy lifestyle is very important.
But children also need to understand that if they are gaining fat or carrying too much extra fat (particularly around the middle), that’s an indicator that something needs to change to ensure that they’re looking after themselves the best way possible. Too many treats or “sometimes foods” and too much time spent doing sedentary activities contribute to weight gain and an increase in the very dangerous visceral fat.
Fat shaming is a very extreme behaviour, and I’m concerned that you may mistake any education or information about the dangers of obesity as fat shaming. Teaching your children about the importance of their health and making it an introspective process will not encourage fat shaming.
Obesity has just as many, if not more, complications and health risks as smoking does. Adults and children alike need to understand those risks and accept that their lifestyle choices will impact their health. Simply dancing around the subject lest someone feel uncomfortable is doing your child a disservice that may cost them their health in the future.
The number of people whose obesity or overweight is the result of a bona fide medical condition, such as Hashimoto’s or Cushing’s disease, is very small. Chances are that if you walk past an obese person in the street, the condition is a result of an imbalance in their energy equation, not a medical disease.
Whilst I would never condone judging someone because of their weight, having been obese myself, I also believe that it’s time to stop overreacting to the facts of life – obesity is bad for you. Children and adults need to know this and how they can ensure that they stay healthy throughout their lives.
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I find this very sad, your fear will be passed on to your children which could cause problems later in life. Limit the amount of sugar they have and they’ll be fine.
Children overeat for a reason, just like adults. Teach your kids to talk about their feelings rather than eating them.
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Sorry, but the new season of biggest loser seems like the worst exploitation yet. I do NOT approve of putting fat kids in the spotlight to be scrutinised, it is cruel and unwarranted.
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I don’t think they are kids? I think they are young adults and their parents.
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Oh okay, I may have misunderstood. I would hope they are all over the age of 18 though, and legally consenting to it.
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Yes, I just looked their website and the sons and daughters are are all over 18 http://thebiggestloser.com.au/meet-the-contestants.htm
Phew!
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Not in the US version, there’s a 13 year old and 16 year old. Same brand, same thing.
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Really??? How does that work? Are those kids doing all that exercising and dieting? I don’t think that would fly in Australia, although the US is in a pretty terrible state with their nations health!
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If you don’t want fat kids teach them to drink water when they are thirsty & never have soft drink in your house!
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Read “Salt, Sugar, Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us” by Michael Moss.
The current obesity epidemic is more complex than it first seems. There are some very effective strategies in place that lead to people finding it very difficult if not impossible to lose weight, and if they do, most find it creeps back on in no time. It’s not as simple as just fat people lacking discipline and being lazy and undisciplined, which is a common assumption. It is integral as parents that we focus on what types of food we give our kids and seriously limit the wrong foods as occasional treats before they too become physically addicted.
Personally, I believe its time the governments stepped in to make laws about available food types. Some may call this too severe, but the proof is in the pudding, so to speak. But they’ll have a BIG fight on their hands from agribusiness.
I’ve gone back to real ingredients and limited processed foods to an absolute minimum. I think this goes beyond obesity and is actually behind the rise in so many burgeoning health crises happening right now.
Good luck!
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I always cry on biggest loser….. I take my hat off to all the contestants to change your ways and habits is very hard indeed…
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I agree with you! I think mums, daughters, dads and sons should all watch this together and break the cycle. It’s such positive emotional journey!
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I’m also terrified of allowing my child to get fat. It’s my biggest fear for her. I’ve struggled with my weight my entire life and I know how soul destroying the endless taunts and judgements are. I’m not militant about what she eats, but I am all about teaching her what is good to eat and what’s not. And to be honest, I’m learning a lot too. My own parents did not educate me at all about healthy eating and both my brother and myself are obese.
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Hi Missneriss! How’s everything going with you guys?
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Good on you for making such an effort to make sure your daughter has a better chance with good health than you did!
My Mum tried, back in the days before child nutrition was a huge issue on the radar, but I always struggled with my body image because she never loved her body, I grew up thinking that my body would never be good enough because that’s what Mum thought of hers.
Now that I’m older and have finally taken the steps to take charge of my health and body. My new, enlightened motto is that whilst my body isn’t perfect, it has done remarkable things for me and I love it, nourish it, and treat it accordingly. I hope I can pass this attitude on to my kids too.
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I’ve never watched the biggest loser before… But I like what the new season represents. I’ll tune in and give it a go.
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Me either… I always thought it was about strange eating challenges, extreme exercising and starving the contestants. But I just looked on their web site it looks really interesting and I am going to make a pledge and get motivated.
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When I was younger I had, as many women do, a complicated relationship with food, emotional eating and strong memories of my mother’s responses to weight or loss. Over the years I ditched the scales and diets and just continued to be active and healthy with occasional foods and I have no weight issues. When my first baby was born I could not get enough milk supply to feed her to her needs so I mixed fed. She grew tall and very chubby and boy did I stress as I felt that as a mother I was already failing her. People would come up to me in the street and make totally inappropriate comments about her. It broke my heart but I just concentrated on what i believed in, healthy eating, being active and occasional foods being just that. I also believe that parents must model healthy behaviours and by doing so can trying to limit any unhealthy emotional responses to food. Fast forward and she is a wonderful healthy active little girl whose BMI is well inside the healthy range. We now get comments about her curly hair. My second baby is growing just the same, the only difference is that I managed to breast feed for 8 months and I have faith in my parenting that she will also be just fine.
I used to think that body issues with young children started when they became more aware about the influences around them. I know believe that it starts so much younger and from our society. Is it really ok to make negative comments about a baby and how they look??!! It broke my heart to realise that I could not protect her from such comments…..and no, I would never, ever put my baby on a diet.
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Thank you for sharing this. My 22 month old daughter loves food and has quite an impressive buddha belly. Sadly, complete strangers regularly comment on her appearance, with one gentleman last week asking me what I was doing to address her weight problem. He used the word ‘diet’ many times within the space of 1-2 minutes.
My daughter is incredibly active and eats a wide range of healthy food, with very occasional treats. Deep down, I know she is fine, but I hate to admit that the judgements of others have such an impact on me. I think twice about everything I put in front of her, and somewhat panicked when she asks for more.
I am determined to help my daughter enjoy a healthy relationship with food, but the constant commentary does not help. I really want to get this right…
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The constant remarks made me fearful and made me doubt my ability as a parent to raise my child in a healthy way. By caring and understanding your role in teaching your daughter to have a healthy relationship with food, you will be just fine. It took me a while but now those comments have no effect and I doubt I would let anyone finish their sentence if it was negative about my daughters. You will and are most probably getting it right.
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I agree with this post 100 times over.
The best role model for my kids is me. The way I treat and give them food is how they will view food in the future. Bad habits started young will be are are hard to shake once its ingrained in their way of thinking.
I like that Jo doesn’t reward her kids with food – food is not a reward. As soon as we start letting our kids associate food with a positive emotional connection, we’re setting them up to eat a whole tub of icecream the moment they feel upset, or stressed … NOT GOOD.
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I would never let my kids get fat either. I have always controlled what my daughters eat and and they are very aware that if they eat the wrong foods they will get fat.
We all weigh ourselves once a week and if my girls have put on too much weight I send them out for a run straight away and restrict their intake for a week.
If they get hungry I say too bad! And tell them to drink water.
My 12 year old is a ballerina so she is only allowed vegetables, lean meat, low fat yoghurt and one small serve of carbs a day. My eight year old doesn’t dance and is a naturally larger girl but I always hold her slim younger sister up as an example.
I have found her eating chocolate in secret but she knows that means she gets grounded, and no electronics for two days!
They do complain but I know they’ll thank me later. And I’ll certainly be encouraging them to watch Biggest Loser to motivate them and teach them what happens to girls who let themselves go!
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I’m assuming you’re joking. The scary thing is, this is how I was raised. I was the ballerina. I’m now a size 20 compulsive overeater.
I don’t like this article. It’s written by the Santa hater. The fact it’s sponsored by The BL also makes me feel weird.
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It’s relevant because the new series is parents and their kids both working to get themselves fit and healthy.
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Well yes. But just because it’s relevant to the topic doesn’t mean it’s right Kris.
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Oh my god! You hold her slim younger sister up as an example and find her sneaking food in private….then punish her.
Glad you’re not my Mum. Do you think your approach could be having a negative impact instead of a positive one?
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I agree Peta. I was shocked reading Suze’s comment. Genuinely shocked….i find it abusive and that’s putting it mildly
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thank you? they won’t thank you.
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I can’t believe you are so strict & mean over your kid’s food intake! They are still growing so how do you know if they have put on too much weight!
You are setting them up to have an unhealthy attitude to food!
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Please be joking!! This article is about healthy eating, not creating eating disorders!
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This is abhorent! So much so that I wonder if it’s genuine or a joke…If it’s genuine then your children are going to need therapy and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if they develop an eating disorder….all thanks to mum and HER hang ups! The poor “larger” one will never feel good enough and will constantly compare herself to her sister so in essence you’ve trashed their relationship as sisters. I feel so sorry for your girls. I highly doubt they will thank you later…it’s more like they will end up blaming you and despising you….how sad
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I do hope you are just joking. If not maybe it will be a good idea for your daughters to watch TBL, because the way you teaching them about food, they will end up on the show so they know what to expect when they end up on the show.
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Please tell me you are writing in jest!
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Do you really think comparing the larger to the smaller daughter is going to make her feel good about herself?
How much is ‘too much’ weight per week for an active growing child?
Is restricting a very physically active young woman’s food a good idea when she is going through, or about to go through puberty and have a huge growth spurt?
Sure, don’t give them crap to eat but why can’t they have something healthy if they’re hungry? It’s not good for growing kids to go hungry.
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Like others, I hope you’re joking, but really fear you’re not. There’s just so much wrong with this, that instead of setting them up for good eating habits for life, you’re doing the opposite.
My oldest girl danced (ballet) until 17 and her teacher never suggested calorie restriction. She slimmed down naturally as she got older on a normal diet.
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This is a sad post. I think you’re setting your girls up to have major food & body image issues.
Weighing your kids once a week? Really? I don’t think they’re going to thank you at all.
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You are creating an unhealthy attitude towards food. One of fear and punishment. I beg you to speak to your daughter’s doctor for some tips about how to teach your girls the best way to think about food and health. Please!
Read the blog post again, what the author is saying is quite different to how you treat your children. I know you probably mean well but you are not doing them any service.
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You have already taught your 8 year old (8 year old!!) to eat in secret. To be ashamed of eating. That is, well, I have no words.
And I am a parent who doesn’t want her children to become obese. I will just do my damnedest to teach them healthy eating and exercise habits.
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Start saving Suze. Your kids are going to need a fair bit of time at the centre for Anorexia and Bulimia. The majority of their time will be spent discussing their mum’s dysfunctional issues with food, NOT how grateful they are to you.
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I cannot believe what I just read. I sincerely hope that you don’t believe that your style of parenting is healthy????
As a mother of 5 healthy, active and happy children – I suggest you change your methods. My kids eat as much as they like, but they do so because our food choices are ALL healthy. We only eat fruits and vegetables, cake is for birthdays and takeaway food doesn’t exist. None of my children know how much they weigh, we don’t own a set of scales and I NEVER use the word diet. We don’t schedule exercise either – they call it playing and its always done outside- we don’t own a playstation, an xbox or a Wii.
Raising healthy kids is about giving them all the healthy options, its not about restrictions, diets, limitations and body image – all of that is the problem itself, not the solution!
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I generally try to think that most parents are trying to do the best that they know how – so I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt… but you really aren’t doing them any psychological favours at all!
Your girls still have many growing years ahead of them & they need a balanced diet. From what you’ve written it seems to me that they would not be getting enough carbohydrate each day for their growing brains to function well. Carbs in the diet (including fruit, starchy veges, milk & yoghurt and grain-based foods) are digested to supply the body with glucose (and other simple sugars). The brain runs on glucose – reduced concentration is a negative side effect of a low carb diet. Muscles require glucose to create energy for physical activity – your girls are young and active (one is a dancer), they need energy from carbs!
If you are unsure what a healthy diet for your girls is, please check out the “Healthy Eating Throughout All of Life” section of the eat for health website by the Australian government. You could also consult an Accredited Practising Dietitian (find one on the DAA website).
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My parents were quite strict with my eating habits when I grew up but never encouraged me to exercise or do sport, I now try to get fit and exercise but I still find it really difficult without having that foundation from early on. I’m not a mum yet but have already decided that physical activity is going to a big part of my children’s lives.
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There was never much emphasis on physical activity in my life growing up either, now that you mention it. I often had to arrange my own way to get to netball at weekends and I was lucky if my parents ever encouraged me in any sport activity.
I’d never thought about this before and how I lack that foundation, thanks. Food for thought.
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Oh dear lord! Lets blame the parents why don’t we. For all of our woes.
You do realise that you have the ability (even as an adult) to learn and relearn new habits. If you desire you CAN become a sporty person. It is called an internal locus of control versus your (obviously) external locus of control.
My parents weren’t at all into maths and science. But here I am: a scientist. My choice. My life. My control.
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I blame my mother! She never encouraged physical activity or healthy eating. She was naturally small and never exercised because she didn’t feel she needed to. In fact, my mother discouraged me from extracurricular sports because she didn’t want to pay for it. I’ve never been happy with my body and remember as a 10 year old, trying to starve myself to be skinny in time for my 11th birthday. I wish I’d been taught the importance of healthy eating and exercise as a child so I didn’t have overhaul my unhealthy lifestyle as an adult.
The maths and science comparison is irrelevant. Having an interest in a particular subject has nothing to do with the lifestyle habits your parents teach you.
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Yeah, but you can change them, though.
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Completely agree. I grew up in a family where everyone was TINY except me. I felt, and still feel, fat even though I know I am not. My child is a little lightweight and I am always careful about what he eats and drinks. I never want him to feel what I felt for years and years. What I can’t get over is how much food people give their children. Every time I go somewhere where there are a lot of kids it’s like parents cannot let their kids go an hour without giving them something to eat.
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I totally agree…
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Has anyone seen a former contestant of The Biggest Loser a few years later? Most, if not all, have put on a significant amount of weight back on, maybe even then some.
While extreme dieting yourself to thinness may work temporarily (regardless of the damage to your body), studies show that 2-5 years later, 95% of people have put the weight back on.
The Biggest Loser publicly shames and humiliates individuals about their bodies. It is not about teaching contestants to strive for health and wellbeing, it is about losing as much weight as you can while addressing none of the real factors as to why people may eat in a disordered way.
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Name just *one* of those “studies” that show this about former BL contestants. Shannan himself said that about half of the contestants keep the weight off longterm, about as good as any other way. Anyway, stop blaming the show and making excuses for those people: BL can’t hold their hand for life and force them to be healthy – neither can any gym, personal trainer, diet, book, etc… And they do dig into why these people are the way they are. One season even had a full hour episode called Master Class once a week devoted to healthy eating, exercise, obesity, etc. Have you even ever watched a single episode?
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I’ll tell you too: look up Ajay Rochester’s blog. The glamour buffed up for TV doesn’t show what happens behind the scenes on that show.
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Wow, Shannan himself said it? So he’s not profiting from this arrangement?
I have watched the Biggest Loser. A friend was a contestant a few years ago. Apparently they spend the majority of time filming challenges and the trainers only visited once a week for filming purposes. It is all for show.
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But does that not just prove that they’re teaching them how to live and train in real life? I remember a few of them getting busted not following their meal plans and not doing the exercise they were supposed to be doing as told by their trainer. Most people who have PTs only see them once a week, but it’s not the only exercise they do, they do other stuff themselves.
Not much different to real life, is it? They’re not innocent little lambs being led to slaughter. It’s up to the 8th series, so they know what they’re in for, and they’re there to try and win the money, lets not forget.
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I disagree. TBL is ALL about the importance of the *voluntary* contestants losing weight to be healthy.
Telling people the truth is not bullying. Getting up in people’s faces when they’re complaining about something paltry is not bullying – saying “You weren’t happy with how you were, this is part of what you need to do to change that” is not bullying. The trainers don’t bully anyone.
It’s interesting that people say “It’s bullying and they’re shaming people” but none of the contestants make these claims at the end. Because they know that they’re being told the truth. Every series you see people telling the trainers to piss off, shut up, they don’t know, I can’t do it… Then their attitude changes, they get the work done and get results. And generally admit that their trainers were right, they were making excuses, hiding, etc.
I did a course just yesterday taught by a guy who worked on TBL for the first couple of series, and asked him about what they actually did. They don’t just do exercise, they have medical teams, psychological help, dietary help, all the time. So it’s not just a bunch of people in a house having big meanies make them sweat. It’s extremely serious.
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Look up Ajay Rochester’s blog. There is nothing about TBL that is ‘healthy’.
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AJ Rochester is currently above 180kg
She just lied all through the show while she was host.
I prefer the latest 3 full seasons to the first four purely because she waas in it. If anyone picked on those contestants it was her. and she always lied to them. size 12 – that was not true!! maybe a size 18 she was. just a little fat lady to me
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I find Ajay Rochester has some serious credibility issues. I’m not defending TBL but I also wouldn’t believe everything Ajay says either
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They make the contestants come out in crop tops and tiny shorts and weigh them in front of the entire country. They film them until they get something good that will get ratings e.g. breaking down, crying. They bring out huge amounts of food as a ‘last meal’ to depict the contestants as pigs. That is humiliating and unnecessary.
When overweight people face such a stigma, with much of society labelling them as lazy and weak, what is ‘voluntary’? Have you ever been desperate to lose weight at any cost? People are so desperate to lose weight they are often exploited by the diet industry and The Biggest Loser.
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They’re allowed to not apply and send in audition tapes, and they’re allowed to not accept the offer to go on the show, you know. It’s not like marauders go around on the streets lassoing morbidly obese people and kidnapping them.
I agree they’re desperate. If I weighed 150kg, I would bloody well HOPE I was desperate to lose weight. They should be desperate to lose weight. If they’ve got the guts to do it on TV, good on them. I applaud anyone who goes on the show. And you know what? If people see themselves and decide to do something about it, that’s great too.
Have you noticed, though, that they never get treated badly by the trainers? Ever. They never have a go at them for being fat. They’re there, voluntarily, to lose weight. It’s the trainers job to help them do that.
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Ive only watched one series, just don’t get into it. I was a bit concerned at the one I watched how some of the challenges were extreme enough (pulling train engines etc) to make the contestants feel physically sick/faint etc. surely exercise to that point can’t be good for you. The amount of exercise per day was also something that is not sustainable. I get that it’s a tv show and there is time pressure to produce dramatic weight loss for the show, but would like to see them showing the contestants how to fit healthy eating and exercise into their lives, because most of us can’t exercise for a couple of house a day on an ongoing basis.
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Katie, I’m not sure you’re statistics are actually founded? Where did you pull them from???
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“We now know that habits formed early in life can follow on throughout childhood, adolescence and into adulthood”
I wish! My childhood eating habits were much healthier than they are now.
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it’s horrible to blame my mother for my weight as a child, but i was THE FATTEST baby i have ever seen – michelin man didnt have anything on my rolls. but i struggled with my weight all through my childhood and now in my mid twenties i am so adamant that i would never put my child through that. it’s so much easier to be denied a piece of cake as a kid than to be denied playing on the baseball team because you’re too fat
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Thanks Jo. I have a three month old at the moment. I didn’t realize that they could develop fat cells for life. I’m going to cut down her calories starting today. No fatso’s under my roof!!
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Just checking…you’re being sarcastic, right??
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oh my goodness I hope she is!!
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Yes. Check. I had better ensure my breastmilk is ‘lite’. Wouldn’t want any pesky fat cells forming!
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Noooo. I love those pudgy breastfed babies.
They all eventually grow out of it anyway.
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I’m joking Fay!! My LO can have as much boob as she wants. And on that note I’m off to eat a cupcake.
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maybe cutting out terms like ‘fatso’ is also a good habit for your child’s future, whatever they weigh… you don’t want them calling other children fatso at school etc!
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Oh btw, I hope you’re being sarcastic, but if a mother said that to me in clinic, I would have to inform her that restricting calories for a 3 month old could be considered abuse and that if it could result in DOCS being informed.
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The thing I hate the most is seeing really tiny young children who are already overweight because of their parents.
I recently saw a little girl, she would have only been about three or four years old and she was struggling to walk a small distance without huffing and puffing. I looked at her parents and they weren’t much better either.
Today I see so many fat children its ridiculous. I graduated school a few years ago, and my little sister is in year eleven, the amount of grade eight kids who have just started who are overweight is astounding.
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I just have to say that sometimes there is no reason for a child’s weight. My daughter is medically overweight, and noone can tell me why. When she was young we took her to a nutritionist specialising with children. Kept a food diary for a month and was informed that what she was eating was healthy, except for the juice she was drinking, so we reduced it to one glass a day. Had medical tests done and everything came back normal. As for fitness, she has just finished her school’s 1500 for sports carnival and came 2nd. She plays sport and is very fit. She is now almost 5’10 and has seemed to slim down a bit, but is still considered overweight, but very healthy every other way. The rest of the family are very slim and can eat whatever and not gain weight, except for me, I must watch everything I eat so I do not become overweight. On a good note, she is never teased (in front of her anyway) about her size, and my daughter has a positive self esteem.
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I love your comment that you have to watch what you eat and others in the family dont. I live in a similar family situation.
I often wonder when we will look upon many weight problems as being a genetic problem just like poor eyesight, dyslexia and so on
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Ok, but let’s keep it real here.
Genetic issues CAN be a contributing factor. But we do not have millions of overweight and obese Australians because of genetics. Nine times out of ten, it is due to overeating and lack of physical activity, and reduces quality of life significantly. I will never view obesity the way I view dyslexia, sorry.
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I take no offence to the Biggest Loser, I actually tried to audition last year and didn’t make it though…Although some of the methods seem extreme I would do anything to be in a situation where I could be forced to lose weight…
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You already are in a situation where you need to lose weight….it’s called life.
Unfortunately you are cutting it short if you are not eating and living healthy.
You can do it without relying on a TV Show.
Join a gym, walk the dog, ride a bike…..just move.
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agreed. It needs to start with you. I would think being healthy would be enough of a reason to force yourself.
Make little changes.. have little changes in your diet, get a PT, go for a walk etc…
Good luck! remember, your life starts with you right now, right this moment. Don’t wait cos life wont wait for you
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What methods seem extreme? All they do is restrict calorie intake and exercise more, and have the contestants see psychs and medics. That isn’t extreme.
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Oh come on! Because exercising by pulling a train isnt extreme?! Or does everyone exercise like that?
Of course its extreme, if they exercised in normal parameters like on a treadmill all the time no one would watch because it would be boring so they have to think of extreme regimes to pull in ratings.
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You don’t need BL to lose weight – you just need to decide to do it and work out what you need to do next, one step at a time. If you commit to the change in diet or exercise long term you will start to see changes and that will motivate you more.
When it comes to exercise I don’t ask myself if I ‘want’ to exercise, I just do it – I don’t love it but I love how i feel when I do it – stronger (and extremely virtuous!!)
You just need to work out what you value more – looking after yourself or holding onto the belief that someone else needs to ‘make’ you look after yourself.
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Jo, you sound sensible to me, despite your birthday present reaction! I was disappointed that comments closed so early for that one.
I always used to restrict my children’s eating at gatherings too and was amazed at the fact that the majority of parent didn’t. To me it is part of educating your children about what is appropriate and what is not.
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What hope do our children have of developing a healthy relationship with food when their parents are projecting their own issues on to them?
I feel for the children learning that they are only valued if they fit our standards of weight and beauty.
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I guess you may have interpreted my comment differently from what I meant.
I don’t mean that I didn’t let them eat anything. I just meant that just because it is there doesn’t mean that it is Ok to eat it all. For a start it is bad manners, so if you are a young child and you have already had 3 large biscuits at a morning tea, then it is not desirable to have more. Nor is it good manners.
I don’t have food issues. I was brought up by health conscious parents and have done the same with my children who are now healthy adults without food issues.
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I love TBL, I love Mamamia and I love Jo!
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My mum was, and is, fat. We never spoke about calories, portion sizes, sugars or fats. I knew what kind of goods were healthy, but that’s about it. Armed with zero information, it was lucky I was naturally skinny as a teenager and young adult.
It took my complete inability to get back to my normal healthy weight after the babies to make me educate myself. I won’t be keeping my new found information to myself – I’ll teach my daughters, but I won’t force it on them. It’s going to be a fine line.
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Advice from my mum….
“My kids can only eat the food I make available.
When they see me exercising, they know that it is something that is done.
When they see me eating healthy food a lot and unhealthier food a little, they know that that is how food is eaten.
My teenagers however…..”
Get them when they’re young cause they only listen to you for a bit when they are kids, then not again until they have kids of their own.
Can’t wait for TBL to start – it always makes my husband start exercising again
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I made a point of naming food good: this one builds muslce, this does bones, this fights disease. The bad food : this one gets rid of muscle, this one slows you down when you run, and so on.
Kid level. It worked they would restrict themselves even when out, I didnt have to be the dictator all the time. THis way the taste buds didnt develop for various foods. Desert wasnt a treat, it was part of the meal, even if they didnt finish the main meal they had desert, but couldnt have seconds or somehitng later on if they hadnt eaten the main meal
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Totally agree. I LOVE The Biggest Loser, and am so looking forward to it.
I made this decision about 18 months ago – I was sitting at the Food Court at Westfield and there were two kids with their Mum having lunch. The kids were obese, the Mum was too, and they were having KFC. At that age, if we’d had KFC, we would have been SO EXCITED, because it was rare and expensive. These guys just looked miserable. I decided that my daughter doesn’t see me eat that stuff as a matter of course – not that I eat it much anyway (I get a craving every few months, and then remember why I don’t eat it!). It shouldn’t be eaten as a matter of course anyway, but it should be a rare treat.
A friend said a while ago at a club we go to – rather than get the kids’ meal we should just get the kids pizzas to share. Last night was literally the first time that I’ve ordered a kids meal for my daughter. Chips are only when we’re out for a treat. If we have junk out, we definitely have veges for dinner. It’s what I offer her, it’s what she’s used to, so it’s what she eats and likes.
Why aren’t kids meals more like what you’d serve at home, with veges rather than just nuggets and chips? We grew up going to restaurants and never had kids’ meals – we just had stuff off the regular menu that we all shared.
Yep, love the Biggest Loser. I think this series is really going to resonate with a lot of people. Can’t wait!
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Jo, I started choking back tears just reading the first three sentences of your story. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal topic and being brave enough to say what some parents need to hear.
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I agree with this Jo, esp being an overweight adult. Weight loss is a struggle for me. I was always made as a kid to ‘clean your plate up’, and remember feeling stuffed but forced to eat it all.
I will never ever force my kids to eat too much. It is awful, upsetting and shit being fat kid, and even worse being a fat teenager.
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I completely agree with you Jo. I too was slightly overweight in primary and high school (enough to be teased a bit) – but I felt every single comment. I still remember every bit of it, particularly how terribly sad it made me feel. I was determined not to have this happen with my kids. I have 3 kids (one a teenage daughter) and I am so proud that I have managed to (so far) keep them fit and trim. It’s not easy as they are constantly being offered unhealthy food (which they eat of course) and they like to lounge about in school holidays.
I also get comments from people that they should just be able to eat whatever is around because they aren’t ‘fat’. The things I changed were that if they were hungry they should stop eating (they aren’t expected to finish their plates at night – in fact I am happy if they say they are full and then stop), and they can have 2 of something nice (2 biscuits etc) – that anymore than 2 was too much.
But, I am also treading the fine line of being a little bit too overbearing on what they are eating – and have to be reminded by my husband sometimes to step back (I can literally feel my heart pounding with worry as I watch them devour something unhealthy). This is hard – but there is no way that I want them to be picked on or restricted for being overweight. It will actually be a relief when I can get them through these years with fit, healthy bodies.
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I grew up with a mum who watched & restricted what I ate as she didn’t me to get fat. I was a healthy weight growing up but I am now 37 years old & to this day struggle with my relationship with food. I think if you are not taught to self regulate you don’t develop the skill. I have gone up & down in weight my entire adult life. All I know is how to feast or famine…not able to have a healthy happy medium.
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I don’t agree with the biggest loser. Better eating habits DO need to be implemented at home but I don’t agree with crash dieting and losing a lot of weight in a short amount of time. TBL methods are a little controversial…
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I LOVE TBL!!!! I find it really motivating and inspiring to make changes with my own diet and exercise. And the Commando is HOT.
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omg total AGREE!
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I LOVE the commando too Alice. I say I watch the show just to look at him! but I actually really love it…it’s amazing watching the before and afters at the finale. This article is making me so excited about the new season. Thanks Jo.
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As an overweight woman with overweight parents, I agree with Jo 100%…I wish my mum and dad gave me more options to live a healthy life…I know they did their best, but I have diabetes and knee problems because of my weight and have never been able to get it off.
My children, however, are all a healthy weight and are very active so I feel like I have broken the cycle with them and it makes me so proud. The new biggest loser will be breaking this cycle for all the families on the show and despite some of the extremes on the show I think that’s a pretty great thing.
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I LOVE the biggest loser and always get so emotional watching the contestants shed the weight and gain confidence…Can’t wait for Next Generation. Does anyone know when it starts? Also, thank you Jo, I always love your posts and this is no exception.
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Sorry Loserfan that i havethe same username as you – im not a regular. I’ll stop commenting now. to others – mine is the one with the lowercase.
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I think it is vital for parents to educate their children on healthy lifestyle and eating habits…I love the biggest loser and watch it with my 2 kids, 6 and 11 and the reality of how damaging an unhealthy lifestyle can be is an incredible incentive for all of us to take better care of ourselves.
Thank you Jo for such an honest and real story.
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Jo, I agree 10000000000000%. Thankyou for saying what people seem scared to say these days. Being dangerously underweight is dangerous and unhealthy, and so is being dangerously overweight. Eating disorders include prblem eating and overeating as well as undereating and bulimia. Just because the average weight of women is increasing, doesn;t eman it shold be celebrated or seen as normal, in the same way that size 6 shouldn’t be. Bleh. End rant.
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It’s a fine line between setting them up properly and making them feel like a failure if they do gain a few.
Admirable but be careful
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I disagree. This article talks specifically about children and I believe that parents are TOTALLY responsible for monitoring the food quality and intake within the home. As parents we have a responsibility to model correct nutrition and daily exercise as well. If that is done properly there shouldn’t be a problem except if a child has medical issues that cause weight gain.
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