“I am extremely curious – how many people end up married to people they slept with on the first night? Is it really true that people who do this don’t end up together forever? Or is the idea you’re meant to ‘wait’ old fashioned?
I am curious because I have a friend who desperately wants to settle down and get married. But in the meantime she is shagging every man she meets. I am not judging her but I know she wants to get married and I don’t think this behaviour is going to help (plus I don’t think it’s making her happy)
Call me old fashioned but every time she asks for my advice I say why don’t you just wait, get to know someone and see what happens. She is forever having one night stands then moaning about the fact they never call her. It’s starting to get to the point where I’m resenting her phone calls, they are like groundhog day.
Every time I tell her to maybe date, have dinner, get to know someone before jumping into bed with them she tells me that most of her happily married friends shagged on the first night and it doesn’t make any difference. Am I old fashioned, or is this true?
I’m starting to feel like a dinosaur and I would love some evidence to show my friend as I feel like she’s hurting herself and being self-destructive and I don’t know how to help”
Is there a link between how long you wait before having sex and how long a relationship starts? How long did you date or even know your current partner before you had sex with them?Have you ever had a first-nighter turn into a relationship?
Top Comments
My partner and I both worked for a large company, but never crossed paths. A mutual work friend introduced us and we shared a few conversations while at work which gave us the chance to become friends.
A week later and after a few cheeky messages, he asked me on a date. Once back at his house after the date, he hadn't made a move (it was 11pm at this stage) As dissappointed as I was, as I had strong feelings for him, I cut my loses and said I'm heading home and he walked me to my car. As we went to say our goodbyes he finally got the courage to kiss me and tell me how he had been so nervous all night and was trying so hard to tell me he liked me. Needless to say I never went home that night, and have been madly in love with him ever since.
When you know, you know. For us, our relationship has been solid and honest from day one (apart from the shakey first date) and I know that one day he will become my husband and be the father of my children.
Ummm... About four hours.
We 'met' online dating then two weeks later we met in real life. When I first saw him I thought he looked goofy and considered how rude it would be if I kept on driving.
After that night we decided to be just 'friends with benefits' - he kept sleeping with others, I kept dating others (there was a difference).
6 years later we are married with four year old twin boys. :)
(Considering I can still count sexual partners on one hand and he is one of three long term relationships, this was a little out of character for me.)