A couple in the United States are being investigated for neglect after allowing their 10 year old son and 6 year old daughter to walk home from the park alone last year.
On 20 December 2014, the children, Dvora and Rafi, walked home alone from the park, which was approximately 1.5 kilometres from their home. The children only made it half way before police picked them up.
Their parents, Danielle and Alexander Meitiv say that they haven’t been neglecting their children – they just believe in “free-range” parenting.
Rafi and Dvora are no strangers to wandering around the neighbourhood, to the 7 Eleven or the library. “They’ve proven they are responsible. They’ve developed these skills,” Danielle said.
The opposite of the much discussed “helicopter” hyper-vigilant parenting model, the notion of behind “free range parenting” is that children can learn to be responsible by taking care of themselves, and testing their own limits out in the world.
As Danielle puts it, “I think it’s absolutely critical for their development – to learn responsibility, to experience the world, to gain confidence and competency.
The world is actually safer than when I was a child”.
When police picked up the children, 10 year old Rafi told police that he and his sister were not doing anything illegal and were allowed to walk home by themselves.
While he wasn’t carrying it that day, the children normally carry a laminated card that says “I am not lost. I am a free-range kid.”
The Meitiv say that their parenting philosophy is about risk management.
“We’re not saying parents should abandon all caution. We’re saying parents should pay attention to risks that are dangerous and likely to happen.
Abductions are extremely rare. Car accidents are not. The number one cause of death for children of their age is a car accident.”
Local child protection services are now investigating the family – but the Meitiv’s are resisting any attempts at meetings, formalised agreements about supervising the children or home inspections.
Alexander says that the current conflict between child protection services and their family simply the case of a different approach to parenting:
“I think what CPS considered neglect, we felt was an essential part of growing up and maturing.
We feel we’re being bullied into a point of view about child-rearing that we strongly disagree with.”
What do you think? Is this “free range” parenting or courting disaster?
Top Comments
This is ridiculous! It actually really makes me angry. The world (well, for us lucky Australians) is a safer place and kids are just so much more aware of everything these days too.
Of course, stuff does happen but it's so, so, so rare and unless your kids never step outside the door, it could happen to you and yours too - that is life and I honestly believe that if it's going to happen, it's going to happen.
I have two boys, ten and five (almost six) and my eldest has been getting around on his own for at least a year and a bit. He rode to school (less than a kilometre away) since he was in grade 3. I now walk up with both of them but next year, I will probably let them walk home by themselves occasionally. I think it's critical for their development. Do people not remember what it was like to be a kid adventuring? I remember it vividly and I LOVED any independence I could get. I cherished it. There is no way I am going to deny my kids that.
I'm from an area of where a little girl was taken. She was murdered. It changed the town and how everyone lived. It happen not in a suburban area but out in a small cane farming community. The thing is, while kidnapping is rare, it happens and how many children have walked to school and some did not go home in the afternoon. it's heartbreaking. The world isn't a safe place, not all people are nice. The way they are treating this is an overreaction. The thing is, I rather a child to be safe. We all grew up in a world of being cautious because of what happen in the news, kids go missing. I don't mind if the media hypes up child safety , it just means we are more aware of what could happen, we are able to be cautious. We have seen the outcomes, the families who have been devastated. Don't be so hasty in disregarding parents that don't let their kids walk to places by themselves, their kids still learn - perhaps in an environment their parents are confident in.