Singer Alanis Morisette is on a mission to raise awareness about the challenges of breastfeeding, in support of all breastfeeding mums.
Morisette, 45, who with husband Mario Treadway has three-year-old daughter Onyx Solace and eight-year-old son Ever Imre, gave birth to her third child earlier this month. This week, she posted a photo on Instagram of her breastfeeding her newborn son, Winter Mercy Morissette-Treadway.
She captioned the photo, “Snug as a bug in a milky rug. #worldbreastfeedingmonth #notalwayseasypeasy.”
The singer also tagged Stop Censoring Motherhood, Normalize Breastfeeding Official and The Badass Breastfeeder, making her point crystal clear: breastfeeding is not always straightforward, and women who are doing it need support. In light of August being National Breastfeeding Month in America, the post – which clearly resonated with her followers – has encouraged other women to share their stories.
“The worst thing about breastfeeding was that my husband couldn’t do it!” Alannah, a mum of three, jokes to Mamamia. But she knows from experience that challenges with breastfeeding are usually not much to laugh about.
“I had it all – breast refusal, mastitis, even being told off for feeding in a restaurant! It’s exhausting, and it’s definitely not always easy.”
WATCH: Breastfeeding around the world. Post continues after video.
Mum-of-two, Nicola, also shared her experience with us.
“The pressure to breastfeed by the first midwife I had was enormous. Well, that’s what it felt like in that moment,” she said.
“I’d had a 36-hour labour and my mind was everywhere. I could barely keep my eyes open. But this nurse was insistent we try latching.
“Looking back now, of course I know that first feed from me, and that contact, was really important. But I really didn’t want to do it at the time!”
Clare’s experience with breastfeeding was a “rollercoaster”.
“My kid attached really easily, and we went home from the hospital with me thinking I’d nailed breastfeeding,” Clare tells us.
“Naturally, it went to crap when we got home.
“I’ve had three kids now, so I know nothing is ever smooth sailing, but at the time, with my first one all suddenly having trouble latching at home, I felt like such a failure.
“Now I know there’s ups and downs with breastfeeding, as the baby develops. Wish I’d known that with my first one, it would have saved me a couple of meltdowns!”
Belinda’s experience was different, as her baby was born prematurely.
“My daughter was born at 33 weeks, but I was able to pump and store breastmilk while she was being fed through an IV, which was great.
“Lots of people told me not to bother with breastfeeding, to make it simple for myself, but I wanted to try.
“My daughter wasn’t developed or strong enough to take my breast until we got out of the hospital and went home, at about 38 weeks. At 36 weeks, I’d been able to feed her through a special hospital bottle.
“At home, breastfeeding went perfectly at first, and I think that’s because we’d had so much bonding time before.
“So, here I am, thinking it’s all great, and then my nipples became so cracked and sore, it was EXCRUCIATING. I would cry during every feed.
“I had to stop at six months. But I didn’t think that was failing at all – I felt like I’d done the right thing for as long as I could, especially as he’d been born so early.”
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Priti, whose ‘baby’ is now 10, is honest about her difficult experience, but also grateful for it.
“I HATED breastfeeding,” Priti admits.
“But my mum is really old school and she wouldn’t let me give up. She came to stay when the baby was born, so I couldn’t even lie to her about it!
“I know she was doing what she thought was right, but I found it really uncomfortable. I got mastitis three times and I promise you, it is horrible. You do get very sick and it bloody hurts.
“I stopped doing it at three months.
“But here’s the thing: looking back now, I’m glad I did it for that long. When it’s going well, it’s a really special time, and I do appreciate that I got to do it, because I know many people can’t.”
After breastfeeding her first child, mum-of-four Emily’s second baby refused to breastfeed.
“My gorgeous babe just wouldn’t take my boob. Don’t know why – my husband hadn’t been able to get enough of them before, ha ha,” Emily laughs.
“But it meant he wasn’t getting enough nutrition, and at eight weeks, he was admitted to hospital with ‘failure to thrive’.
“I was devastated. I hated myself, and felt so guilty at the time. It was awful.
“But this is what I want all mums to know: everyone has challenges. You will hear so many other people’s stories, and then you’ll know that you did the best you could.
“You haven’t failed as a mum if you’ve hated doing it, or can’t do it.”
Nama Winston has had a legal career (paid), and a parenting career (unpaid). You can follow her on Instagram: @namawinston and Facebook: @NamaWinston.
Top Comments
I went to every class, had huge supply (could hear the fire hose going down bubs throat when she sucked) but nothing could prepare me for d-mer severe enough I tried to harm her during a feed one day, and, following this, when I decided to pump so she could continue to get breast milk, I am in a double minority of women who put no fat into their milk. This broke my heart and I didn't feel like I properly bonded with her for a long time. Take 2 and I skipped the breast and just pumped with the same zero fat milk and my journey stopped.
It is definitely not something that works for everyone and I stopped with both kids after a month for their safety and health.
Women and hospitals also do themselves a very serious disservice with breastfeeding in terms of the education. The hospital I worked at provided free ante-natal breastfeeding classes, but they were the least attended classes of all.
Women need to be much more proactive about finding out about breastfeeding long before they actually give birth, it would help dispel so many ridiculous myths and help them to prepare for what is to come.
I agree that more has to be done in terms of preparation - so much focus on birth and so little on breastfeeding which, for me, was far harder.
And yet still - sometimes all the preparation and education doesn’t help. I did all the research, had different strategies planned, asked the right people for guidance for my second - and still no luck. Breastfeeding was torture for me - I just couldn’t do it :(
Same here. I was pretty prepared, I went to all the classes, there was never a question about breastfeeding. I was breastfed so it was normalised for me.
I'd had a horrible birth 68 hours of inducement and then complications that involved the baby being rescuistated, I developed a uterus infection and then mastitis and I had exrutiating pain every single time he latched, I'd cry every time I had to feed, dreaded the baby waking up. The pain started to affect my supply and was referred to an lactation consultant. It became clear I wasn't doing anything wrong but there was something going on. She ended up referring me to a rheumatologist. I didn't really understand why.l at the time. I had no idea what a rheumy was. I ended up being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and started to pump.
I managed 3 months of breast feeding in agony and 3 months of pumping and felt proud of myself. But oh my god, the comments from pro breastfeeders. They were torturous, people telling me I didn't try hard enough. That I was hurting my child. That I was looking for an easy way out.
I'm all for education about breastfeeding. But I also think that we are at a point now where pro breast is the only way no matter what, and everyone else is bad. And that is not OK.
I absolutely agree that breastfeeding of course isn't going to work for everyone. However, as you said, you did all the research and education and had strategies planned. If at the end of that breastfeeding wasn't working then that's literally the best you can do, and the most that anyone can ask of you.
I just find it simply very frustrating when I hear women say 'No one ever told me breastfeeding would be hard / painful / wouldn't come naturally,' when all of that information is 100% freely available and there for the reading. Most women have no breastfeeding education at all, and have done no research, no wonder they come a cropper.
Amazing that you stuck it out that long - seriously well done. I would be very proud of that.
I have to agree with your last part too.