A woman has posted to Reddit about her boyfriend watching porn after he made a cruel critique of her performance during sex, and the female contingent of the online community are furious.
Particularly because he requested that she try to look more like a pornstar when she’s on top and mate, no.
Promptly put yourself in the bin.
Not only does her boyfriend not seem to realise that porn isn’t real sex, he seems to have no regard whatsoever for his girlfriend’s feelings and we really think he needs to be cancelled.
As in, yesterday.
The original poster shared that he made the blatantly offensive request while they were about to get down to it, telling her that he didn’t want her to go on top because she’s “not very good at it”, and sir, we think the problem here is most definitely you and your awful personality.
“So today we were going to have sex and I got on top of him and he told me he’d go on top,” she explained.
“I was confused and asked him why, since that was his favourite. So he just randomly says that honestly I’m not good at it. Yeah… at that point, I was not into it anymore and just wanted him to explain what he meant.
“He said I’m too slow and I should go really fast and I should also put on a show for him because it’s more fun that way.”
She continued: “I just told him I didn’t wanna do anything anymore. I’ll be honest, I cried in the bathroom for an hour. It was actually so embarrassing being told that.”
Oh, but it gets worse. He actually tried to… teach her using porn.
“Then, he sent me some videos saying ‘this is what I meant. See how they’re flipping their hair and look good.'”
We… we just can’t.
She ended the post by calling him an “ass” and we’d be using a much stronger word than that, but OK.
“He’s such an ass and he thinks he’s being nice by educating me on what he likes so I can be better next time. And those videos involved some serious core strength that I don’t have,” she joked.
Those who responded were wholly on her side, with most suggesting she should drop him stat.
Others discussed the dangers of men using the unrealistic standards set in porn to teach themselves about sex.
“Whenever I watch porn as a woman myself, I’m always cringing at how uncomfortable the women must be because they’re always in such awkward positions,” one posted.
“The women are always in extremely uncomfortable positions because they are trying to better position themselves for the camera. Porn is not about pleasure for the actors. It’s about pleasure for the viewers.
“How much does he care about your pleasure during sex? Because he sounds like an asshole who thinks women exist for his viewing pleasure.”
Preach.
But another absolutely hit the nail on the head, thus winning the internet for the day: “If women start expecting things (from men) we watch in porn too, they have more to lose, a lot to live up to, and the vast majority of them won’t, ahem, measure up.”
A-freaken-men.
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Top Comments
Taking a step back. Warnings have been made for ages that porn use for kids and teens will create this very issue. It's an easy mistake to just blame this guy. He needs therapy or he is going to leave a string of hurt women in his wake.
Or, he needs to simply listen and read to the very clear message that "porn doesn't resemble real sex". The message is out there, and it's very simple. People simply need to heed the message - it's not that hard.
"People simply need to heed the message - it's not that hard." Totally agree with you there.
The first Guest you responded to suggested therapy for men which you seem to disagree with. I just came from reading an article about DV and a $158 million program with $68 million devoted solely to a prevention program designed for men to change their behaviour, which would probably include therapy.
Now, everyone knows domestic violence is wrong (it's not that hard as you say) so is that $68 million considered a waste of resources in your opinion?
Too many men are not getting the simple message though. If it was that simple there wouldn't be the dv epidemic we are faced with. I don't think you can fix adult men who have been raised in a culture of entitlement to women just with simple messages.
I male and I've got two young boys. It's only recently since becoming a parent that I've really become aware of how pervasive and subtle the threads of entitlement weave into their lives right from the start. The other day I was reading them a story. In one part the young farmer boy is exploring a castle at night and let's himself into the princesses room and watches her sleep. I had to stop the story after that page and have a conversation with them about what they thought of that and the appropriateness.
I don't think it's a big assumption to make that those kinds of conversations didn't occur decades ago. In a lot of cases they probably still don't now. I don't want praise for it, im just trying to articulate that the solution isn't as simple as simple messages.
"Girl-on-top" porn performances are invariably all about creating a visual for the male gaze, not about facilitating pleasure for the female party. The guy probably also thinks all women orgasm within two seconds of mere penetration and can't wait to have him blow on her face because he's seen that in porn, too. The girl on Reddit is an idiot if she stays with him.