As I held out my palm for the fortuneteller my mind was buzzing with the unknown. Would I be rich? Have more children? Start a new career or move overseas?
“You have an interesting lifeline,” said the palm reader as I smiled over at my husband next to me. “It stops… soon.”
And that was that — those three tiny words, those 11 little letters, changed my life forever.
It was March 2019, we were in Hong Kong for a family holiday, my husband Clint, Daughter Caja, 12, and two sons Jonty and Hendry both three.
We were off to Disney Land (the happiest place on earth) and excited to eat Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes and meet our favourite characters and had three days in the city before we went.
On a day trip to Wong Tai Sin Temple, we had come across rows and rows of locals offering a variety of predictions, from crystal balls to birth numbers and zodiac signs to tarot cards so we decided to get a reading for a bit of fun.
I wasn’t a believer, as such. If anything, I would say I’m a sceptic. But a year before Clint and I became an item he was told some very specific details about how we would meet and who I was by a Gypsy in Notting Hill in London, and he was convinced because it all came true.
And sure, I thought it would be interesting to hear about my future. Maybe I could use the lucky numbers on the lotto!
So she explained she reads both palms – the left is for life before 35 years old and the right is for after.
And I have to admit the first half was pretty accurate, she spoke of major relationships, deaths and career changes. She knew I had moved a lot, having lived in various countries around the world.
But it was nothing groundbreaking, she had also noted some details that I couldn’t relate to at all.
It was after I unfolded my fingers on my right hand that she delivered those three words that are still haunting me today. It. Stops. Soon.
Peering down I watched as she jabbed her finger at the offending line bluntly pointed out her findings as if to satisfy my confused and furrowed brow.
As I sat there in silence she continued, it was mostly a blur, I would be ill, never rich but never poor and then she mentioned that red was a very unlucky colour for me and I should not wear it ever again.
My favourite dress was red and it some ways this more relatable and somewhat believable news got my back up. “I love my red dress,” I retaliated. “I thought red was a lucky colour. And what does ‘soon’ mean. When will I die and how?”
I don’t even know if I wanted to know, it just seemed fitting to press her for more information.
We went back and forth as I frantically tried to pin down a more specific date, which will be just before I’m 50. So, if she is correct, that means I have around 5-7 years left.
And just like that my time was up, and it slowly dawned on me that maybe I knew when my actual time was up!
“You can change your destiny if you change your lifestyle,” she smiled as we strapped the boys into their prams and joined the hoards of tourists at the Temple.
It’s been a year now and I can honestly say there is not a day that goes by without me thinking about it.
Of course, I laugh with friends, telling them about the evil witch in Hong Kong who says I’m dying soon. Kidding around, I tell my husband he doesn’t have my blessing to move on and find a new wife.
And I repeat, more to myself than anyone, that it’s not true. That there is no way of knowing because if she could predict the future why was she working from a tiny booth in a back street and not picking the winning lottery numbers scooping millions.
But you can’t forget something like that. Once you hear those words you can’t un-hear. No matter how hard you try.
So now I live every day wondering how it’s going to go down, and just in case, preparing the best I can.
If you had asked me before any of this, what I would do, if I knew when I would die, without hesitation I would be drawing up a bucket list as long as my arm.
Drink rum Cuba, See Gorillas in Tanzania, take a year off work and make memories with my children. The possibilities are endless.
But faced with the reality, living my last years frivolously has no appeal.
Side note… John Edward is the psychic medium who didn’t believe in psychics. Listen to his chat with Mia Freedman below. Post continues after podcast.
Instead, I threw myself into learning the stock market, watching, reading, waiting and carefully selecting shares for each of the children, hoping that if I wasn’t there in person I could still help with first cars, weddings and buying a house.
I have read the Barefoot Investor book and started some serious savings plans that I hope will give my amazing husband the time off work he needs to grieve and be with our children.
I have looked into my life insurance, made sure my super is in order and that everything is easy to find and action.
And I have also thought about her parting advice – that I can change my destiny if I change my lifestyle. In all honesty, that part really annoys me. I’m not an unhealthy or overweight person. I don’t smoke and only drink socially and I feel my options for an overhaul are slim.
But never-the-less I joined a gym, I drink more water, peppermint tea and try to get at least eight hours of sleep each night.
While her words haunt me and it breaks my heart thinking about leaving my lobed-ones, as crazy as it sounds I have found peace knowing I’m prepared and would leave having tried to be the best version of myself so that the memories left are good ones.
At the beginning, I spent a lot of time thinking about the things I would miss. I made sure I was in family photos and not taking them, I make home movies and no longer delete the parts I feel silly about.
But now, slowly, I have noticed I spend less time thinking about dying and more time enjoying living.
I still don’t know if I believe her, but I’m no longer hearing those words as a death sentence – I feel, if anything, I have been given the gift of time, be it five years or 50 years – I’m not wasting a single minute.
Jonica Bray is a journalist and proud adoptive mother. You can follow her family on Instagram @the.wandertwins
Feature Image: Instagram @the.wandertwins
Top Comments
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