baby

"If you didn't bring a gift, you can leave." The baby shower debate dividing the internet.

A US mum-to-be sparked a global debate this week after asking guests to leave her baby shower if they came without a gift. 

A video clip of Fox News anchor Tia Ewing taking the mic from her husband Early Walker went viral after initially being shared to their Instagram account.

In the clip, dad-to-be Walker thanks everybody for coming to the baby shower, before Ewing interrupts to take the microphone and add: "Not everybody."

"Some people came that didn’t even bring a gift. And it's kind of giving me wedding vibes - a lot of people came and didn't bring a gift," Ewing says of her wedding day.

"So if you came to my baby shower and didn't bring a gift, you can go ahead and leave."

As the guests laugh, unsure if it's a joke, host Pamela Blackman interjects to tell the crowd that Ewing "doesn't mean it". Blackman then blames her friend's 'baby hormones', but pregnant Ewing doubles down.

"I meant exactly what I said. If you didn't bring a gift, you can get up and go. I said what I said! They can leave!" 

Expectant parents Ewing and Walker, who co-present a family and relationships radio show in Chicago, captioned the video of the whole speech with a question: "Was I wrong?"

The video, which was also posted to the couple's YouTube account, ends with the bemused MC telling people where to find the exit as a few guests crossed the room.

The comments on Instagram and Twitter were divided over whether Ewing was wrong for wanting her guests to bring gifts, with some simply saying it was a publicity stunt by the couple who both work in media.

Ewing and Walker at their Baby Shower. Image: Instagram @earlyandtia.

One Instagram user agreed with the couple, writing: "You're not wrong, the purpose is to the shower the baby with gifts, the food and drinks are a token of appreciation for doing so. If you don’t plan on showering the baby with a gift, then don’t waste the parents' money."

A Twitter user also shared her thoughts in favour of Ewing and Walker saying, "How you go to someone's baby shower with no gifts? That's crazy to me."

On the opposing side of the debate, an Instagram user wrote: "This was wrong and rude. Your delivery could’ve come in another way, such as on the invite. That way your guest would’ve known 'to bring a gift' or 'don’t come'. Some people may not have had it financially, but still showed up to support. If it’s the same people who don’t bring gifts to events, then you shouldn’t have invited them."

Columnist Michelle Singletary agreed that the demand for gifts was wrong. Her opinion piece for The Washington Post detailed why special occasions like the Ewing/Walker baby shower have turned into 'greedy grabs'. 

"Engaged couples set up websites asking friends and family to contribute to the costs of every aspect of their wedding, including the honeymoon," Singletary writes, quoting etiquette advice columnist Judith Martin. 

"Folks invite you to their celebrations - a birthday or retirement party - and unashamedly expect you to cover the costs of the venue, the meal, or both. They are specific in demanding a particular present."

She writes that it's not just baby showers anymore either. 

"Now there are gender reveals, with guests wondering if this is gift-worthy. The growing number of celebratory events is financially draining for many people, who are often too scared to say so for fear of being accused of not loving someone enough."

A follow up post yesterday on Ewing and Walker's Instagram account shows just how many presents the couple received and appears to say that the original video was a "fun skit" and that their baby shower "was actually beautiful".

Whatever their motivation, it certainly got the whole internet talking.

What do you think about bringing gifts to baby showers? Do you think the couple made a good point? Please comment below. 

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and  TikTok.

Feature Image: Instagram @earlyandtia.

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Top Comments

mamamia-user-459038664 2 years ago 1 upvotes
Hell yes she was wrong to publicly embarrass the guests who, for whatever reason, had not brought gifts. Some people do this because they'd rather spend more on gifts for the baby, once the baby is born. I would never turn away a guest from my baby shower, just because they hadn't brought a gift. In my experience, in most baby showers, gift giving is optional, and the gifts given are usually just small and inexpensive. Though one of my sisters got greedy and made up a list of really expensive gifts she expected for her baby shower. A baby shower should be a fun and joyful time, not having to follow a bunch of strict rules and regulations.

nicolaloch 2 years ago 1 upvotes
I personally would always take a gift to a baby shower but telling people to leave if they haven't bought a gift is so rude and embarrassing especially for the people who can't afford to. 
I agree it should have been put on the invite and I might even have second thoughts about going as it shouldn't be an expectation! 
rush 2 years ago 1 upvotes
@nicolaloch I'd also have second thoughts if she put it on the invitation, even if I'd already planned a gift. I'd wonder if what I'd bought was up to her "standards", or if she's going to berate me for giving her something home-made.