If you met me three weeks ago, you would have been introduced to quite the frazzled freak of a human being.
Dry hair. Crappy mood. Pessimistic disposition. A bloated belly from too many Coles cookies. Stress pimples. That-time-of-the-month pimples. Regular pimples. You’ve-eaten-12-Coles-cookies-in-24-hours pimples.
In short, I was a mess. So much so, I wrote a Facebook status about it and had approximately 127 loved ones express their “concern” about my mental wellbeing via text.
Because when you’re writing Facebook statuses, you just know things are bad.
My body and mind were sick of being ignored, my anxiety flared up like a delightful rash, and my life came to a screeching halt. At my lowest, I found myself curled over my laptop here in the Mamamia office heaving big ugly sobs, so anxiety-ridden I was fearful to catch the tram home; fearful to go out in public.
Listen: How Mia Freedman controls her anxiety. (Post continues…)
Why? Well, when my anxiety is bad, I develop an unrelenting and irrational fear that I will die. Oh yes, readers, that I will die. In a terrorist attack, in a horrible car accident, or in a hostage situation after an intruder breaks into my home.
You know, just the realistic stuff.
As much as I know these fears are ludicrous, and just a tiny bit self-indulgent, when my anxiety is bad they send me batsh*t crazy. I flinch when strange men pass me on the tram; sleep talk like a mad woman; and sweat at the thought of walking through a crowded place.
My love of true crime podcasts (and TV shows, and movies, and books) wasn’t exactly helping. Neither was my propensity to exclusively click on morbid news stories about death and pain and neglected puppies.
Then my psychologist recommended an app that – excuse the telecommercial jargon – HAS CHANGED MY LIFE.
But unlike the ShamWow dude, I really mean it.
Instead of listening to podcasts about Ivan Milat and various child murderers, the ‘Smiling Mind’ iPhone app – developed by Australian psychologists and doctors – has become my go-to morning listen. Now, sometimes before I even leave bed, I flick on a “program” that will soothe my mind and not mention the word “corpse” even once.
A bloody beautiful resource that seeks to ‘build individual mental health and wellbeing through tools based on mindfulness meditation’, Smiling Mind is the perfect solution for any stressed woman who, like me, wrongly assumed mindfulness = hippy dippy fairy dust for people who live in Byron Bay.
As someone who is now addicted, let me tell you: mindfulness is great for helping anxiety, and encouraging positive, rational thinking.
If you’re not going to take my word for it, just ask my friend, Science, who has proven mindfulness assists with management of stress and pain, helps build resilience and compassion, improves focus at work and in the classroom and helps with creativity and collaboration.
A+, mindfulness. A+.
Better yet, Smiling Mind realises we didn’t all hop on the mindfulness train of 2015, and has tailored many of its programs for beginners. It also has a session for every age and every need. You want a quickie two-minute meditation before work? Easy. Want to give your teenager 10 minutes to relax? Sorted. Have a busy classroom of school kids that need a lie down? Done.
(Added bonus: whoever the man is that does the recordings has a voice like a Butter Menthol. Seriously. I could listen to those sweet vocal octaves all day, every day.)
Oh, and did I mention it costs $0?
Yeah.
Of course, this isn’t the only thing I’ve done to help my mental health. I’ve also joined a gym, sought professional help, and stopped watching The Keepers late at night.
But the Smiling Mind app? It really has had the most profound effect on me.
You can find out more about the Smiling Mind app, here.
If you or a loved one is struggling with poor mental health, Mamamia urges you to contact Beyond Blue.
Top Comments
I'm sorry you've been through such a tough time, Michelle. I really recognised myself in a lot of what you've said here. I had a longish period like that last year and a (mercifully) shorter one earlier this year. I'm truly glad you've found something to help you.
I have unfortunately not been as successful with mindfulness as you have. I accept that it works for others, because who am I to argue with them but it hasn't ever been the case for me. When I've tried it, I always get bored and my mind wanders to things other than paying careful attention to my breathing or taking note of how the carpet feels against my skin. Or I get bored and I start worrying, which is completely counter-productive. I've read that all of that is part of the process with mindfulness and you need to stick with it to move past it...but I just haven't been able to do it. I'm not sure if I want to try again. I've struggled with it since I was a young teen and I'm 36 now.
The only thing that has really helped me when I'm in a highly anxious state is distraction. Funnily enough, one thing I often use for that is true crime podcasts/documentaries! I guess they're not really a trigger for me as they seem to be for you. For me, it's a good way to just absorb myself in something other than me for a while and often when I stop, it's been just what my brain needed to sort of reset itself.
Thank you Michelle! I was amazed to read that your anxiety, when it raises its head, presents in such a similar way to mine when I am under stress - the preoccupation and terror that death is imminent, as well as an addiction to true crime stories. I actually chuckled as I read this article because hey, it's nice to not be the only one! I'll definitely be checking out the app you recommended to add to my own mental health 'toolbox.'
Thank you so much, Joanna! It's crazy, isn't it? Most people speak of anxiety in terms of social situations, but mine manifests in a "you will die today" kind of way haha.
If you're looking for someone else like us, I know Mia Freedman's anxiety is similar. She first learned of her own anxiety when on holiday - she convinced herself out of nowhere she had ovarian cancer. So interesting how the mind works!
This app is brilliant and I so hope it helps you as much as it has helped me xxxxxxxx