Kate Hunter
by KATE HUNTER
On the weekend, my mum tripped and fell while she was walking her dog. Her knees were bruised and a cut on her face was bleeding. Her phone was at home (Mum has never entirely embraced the mobility feature of the mobile phone). So she picked herself up, and rang the doorbell of a nearby house, so someone could call Dad for her.
Through the screen door, Mum saw a twenty-something couple on the couch, watching TV. They saw her, too. And they scurried upstairs. She rang the doorbell again, but no response.
Eventually, Mum flagged down a passing car and some very kind people drove her home.
Dad bundled her off to emergency, where they put five stitches above her left eye.
Mum’s fine, Dad’s on the phone to the council ranting about footpath maintenance, and I’m trying to work out why those people chose to ignore my mother.
It was a sunny morning, a nice suburb, and she’s a seventy-something lady. I told my friend Andrea the story and was astonished when she didn’t share my outrage.
‘Yeh,’ she said, ‘It would’ve been awful for your mum. You know and I know she’s lovely, but those people didn’t know, and creeps will do crazy things to get into a house these days.’
‘Oh come on,’ I said, ‘You’re telling me a burglar would buy a few Country Road separates, get himself a spoodle, splash a bit of Halloween blood on his face and ring a doorbell on a Sunday morning so he could nick an iPad?’
‘Maybe, or he might have wanted to butcher people as they watched Video Hits. It happens.’
I shook my head, but Andrea went on to tell me of the many devious ways criminals gain entry to our homes and lure us from them. Another apparently common trick is to play a recording of a newborn baby crying in a darkened car park. It’s a sure-fire way of luring a woman away from her vehicle so she can be robbed – or worse.
At that point, I called URBAN MYTH and wondered how many times a retold story has stopped someone doing something good, or even decent?
Give love. Not unkindness.
Thanks to the Internet, fear spreads fast and like Chinese whispers, the stories get more exciting.
Garden-variety flashers become brazen abduction attempts, and a white van on the street sends kids fleeing to the X Box and parents into therapy.
Fear isn’t new; scary stories linger. My mother in law still keeps her handbag with her when she takes communion, because in 1969 an opportunistic thief swiped handbags from pews in Ipswich. My mother in law wasn’t even a victim of the sacramental bag snatch, but she knew all about it, and you can’t be too careful can you?
But that’s different to not helping someone who’s hurt. I spoke to a few more people, trying to garner support and sympathy. Simon, in the office where I work shrugged, ‘Those people probably weren’t scared, they were just chilling on a Sunday, and if they answered the door, who knows? They might have had to TAKE her to hospital. What if she needed money, or was sort of crazy? That kind of crap can take up your whole day.’
So we have a sad phenomenon emerging – the Random Act Of Unkindness. Whether it’s driven by fear or unwillingness to spoil a Sunday the effect is the same – you, your parents, kids, friends, pets might not get help when they need it.
‘Getting involved’ is a pain; and if you read the papers, it could get you sued. Sometimes I want to take my family and camp out in the rumpus room with nothing but coconut finger buns and DVDs to sustain us.
But, as mum reminded me, the world isn’t completely bad yet, ‘A driver did stop for me and drove me home. He’d have taken me to the hospital if I’d wanted. He couldn’t have been kinder.’
So, while I munch on a stockpiled coconut finger bun, that’s what I’m choosing to think about.
Kate Hunter is an advertising copywriter with over 20 years experience and one Gruen Transfer appearance to her name. Kate is also the author of the Mosquito Advertising series of novels. You can buy them here.
Have you had an experience with someone being deliberately rude or unwilling to help? Do you think the world is becoming a less helpful place?
Comments
209 Comments so far
I do find it sad that people don’t stop to help more, whether it’s from fear of being tricked or complete apathy. I do find myself hesitating but hopefully more often than not will try to help.
Just the other day I saw this little boy crying and walking by himself at a busy shopping centre so I tried to catch up to him and when I finally did there was a Policeman. Turns out the Mum was behind him but he sure did look like a little boy lost.
I also saw a man who was obviously on his way to work stop his car to help an elderly lady who was out on the street in her nightgown, looking obviously confused and distressed.
And for those naysayers of the youth today – recently myself and another teacher were taking our dance and choir groups to a festival rehearsal on the train. There was a woman with her baby, struggling at the top of the stairs with her pram. Before I had even said a word, of their own volition these two Year 6 boys politely offered to help and carried it down the stairs for them. I couldn’t have been prouder. If you saw them on the street a lot of people would probably say they were disrespectful kids just by the way they looked. Just goes to show that you should never, NEVER, make assumptions about a person’s character and goodness based on their appearance.
Random acts of kindness by strangers still exists – keep fighting the good fight everyone and be part of this!
loading...
I felt faint and tripped whilst walking in darlinghurst with a friend a moth or two ago and fell spectacularly and embarrassingly. A man in a ute stopped in the middle of the busy road immediately to check if I was ok. He was so sweet, I was in shock but ok…good people are around.
loading...
A few weeks ago a very elderly man tripped and fell flat on his face as he was crossing the road. He happened to land RIGHT at my feet.
I was at the ATM halfway through a transaction (the ATM is positioned right at the point where you step off the road and onto the footpath), I had my 2 kids in the pram and 10000 shopping bags hanging off each arm. My first instinct (within 2 seconds) was to look up and see if anybody (with a spare hand) was close by – there were plenty of people – 2 young guys in their 40′s a woman in her 20′s and a couple. However, because I was the closest to him NOT ONE OF THEM CAME TO HIS AID. They literally just stared from me to him to me to him to see what I was going to do!
about 5 seconds later, and in shock, I threw my bags onto the floor, abandoned my ATM transaction, put the brake on my pram and bent down to help him up. At that point, another woman, also with a pram, came bounding over and said to the man “Sir are you ok!?” and to me “Can I help you lift him?! Poor guy!” etc etc…..
After we helped him on his way the lady said to me “Goodness, I saw that happen but I was about 20m away…. I can’t believe none of those people close by came to help him/you!”
It’s true!!!
WHY!? WHY did no one help!?
loading...
I had a single-car accident when I was 17 on a country road and got out of the car dazed and in shock. The car had slid out on gravel and as a fairly new driver I had lost control.
I had hit my head at some point in the accident.
Although I had no outward injuries I was in distress and couldn’t call anyone because there was no service.
I walked about five metres to the road to flag someone down.
The car was quite visible and it was clear there had been an accident. Six cars drove straight past me and didn’t even slow down, let alone stop.
But I chose to focus on the fact that one lady did stop. She put me in her car turned around and drove back into town (about 15 minute drive) and took me straight to the hospital.
I never got her name but her act of kindness was greatly appreciated and I still think of her to this day.
loading...
I got a knock at the door one night at 9pm. I tentatively answered it and there was a nice looking lady and her daughter. Holding my handbag. They had found it in the trolley at the supermarket so dropped it off on their way home. I hadn’t even noticed I had forgotten it! Kindness does exist.
That being said, when my husband was driving me to the hospital to give birth, we had to drive past a really notorious housing commission block of flats, and a woman tried to flag us down. Between contractions I screamed ‘lock the doors and keep driving’ but I still feel terrible about it a couple of years on.
loading...
My husband, kids and I went to the farmers markets recently and as we were getting out of the car, a quite frail looking lady in her 50′s asked us for directions to Woolworths. We consulted our iphones and realised it was about 4kms away and she was on foot. My husband promptly ushered the lady into the car and shooed me and the kids to the nearest playground. He then proceeded to drive her to woolies, wait while she did her shopping and then drive her home. On the way she told him she had terminal bowel cancer and no family anywhere close by.
Nothing else to the story. I just wanted to tell everyone how kind hearted and awesome my husband is!
loading...
This article was like deja vu! I tripped crossing a road while walking my dog and severely broke my wrist. Although I was still lying in the middle of the road in full view of the cars driving past … did they stop? No! Car #5 with a mum and baby finally stopped, got my phone out of my pocket and phoned my partner so he could come and take me to hospital. Even a driver who made eye contact with me obviously decided I was too much trouble.
loading...
I have to try to help, otherwise it plays on my mind and I don’t feel good about ignoring a situation I may have been able to assist in.
A while ago I spotted an injured seagull on my way to work, I ran to my building got an empty box and an old pashmina I kept there, I ran back and spent ages trying to catch/coax the poor bird into the box. Heaps of people (morning peak hour) walked past me, never said anything to me. Finally, two ladies stopped and helped shoo the bird toward me so I could catch it. I took the sweet little thing to a vet, but it didn’t survive. I could not have walked away from it. I don’t understand how so many people did. It was bloody and its wing was broken. It was upsetting to realise how many people do not get involved. I don’t ever want to be that way.
loading...
The irony of this story is in this single sentence “Dad’s on the phone to the council ranting about footpath maintenance”.
Your Mum didn’t trip over, she was tripped by the council!
Someone’s always to blame, right?
That – right there – is why the couple made sure they were not ‘someone’.
I’m not sure you can blame ‘other people’ while your Dad is displaying the very behaviour that drives the negative outcomes you’re complaining about.
loading...
Take your point Idle. But Dad’s not a suing kinda guy. He just wants them to fix the footpath.
loading...
It was the footpath’s fault? There is no way your Mum could have navigated along the footpath without tripping?
The idea that there are no such things as accidents is what drives this behaviour. Your mum fell over, it happens. The footpath was not at fault (or more to the point, fixing it would not have guaranteed your mum would never have fallen over).
I’m not blaming your Mum – it sounds like an accident. We used to call them ‘one of those things’. But we don’t any more.
What would Atticus have done if Scout had tripped over?
loading...
Yeh, yeh. I get it. I wouldn’t be at the council, and when my Dad was in his 40s, he wouldn’t have been either – he’d have been too busy. Now it’s like a hobby for him.
loading...
Yeah because the couple on the couch knew that the woman tripped and that soon after her husband was going to call the council. If someone’s in trouble, good people stop to help.
loading...
I have this happen to so so often in public. I have various (rare/uncommon) medical conditions (which are listed on my car keys…and in my wallet…and hanging off my handbag) that cause me to fall, stumble or flat out faint. Rarely do MOP (members of public) offer assistance or even check if I am ok (often I am not – one of those conditions causes my joints to dislocate randomly or ligament tears…) I generally have to sit/lay there, on the ground, in public, try to gather myself and try to get up again. Several times I have had ppl literally ‘trip’ over me (yeah cos they didn’t see a 20-something sitting or laying on the ground…) and a few times I have had ppl flat out abuse me for being in the way (I am so sorry. I didn’t realise my inability to stay upright was an inconvenience to you…)
I get that there is a fear of the unknown and that ppl are paranoid about being conned/injured/seen as a predator etc, but seriously, a 20 something female on the ground (often crying…or unconscious) is not exactly likely to pickpocket someone, abuse them or accuse them of anything. People these days are just so rude and self-serving. If it doesn’t relate directly to them, they just simply couldn’t give a toss.
loading...
I was on a flight once, from Warsaw to Paris via London Heathrow. Some of you prob know what a pain the butt Heathrow airport is. Anyway, I am a bilingual dual-national (Polish/Australian) and on my flight to London I sat near a middle-aged woman who was flying to New York, couldn’t speak a word of English and only just figured out she had a stopover in London! She was absolutely petrified. Luckily her flight to NY left from the same terminal as mine to Paris (4), to which we had to catch a bus from Terminal 1….
The short of it is I led this lady and another one all the way to their gate, translating and explaining everything like to kids (“How do you know this is the way we need to go?” “See that sign with Terminal 4?” – you get the gist). Anyway, they almost didn’t let me leave them even after I had pointed to the DOOR they needed to walk through to board their plane
I didn’t go much out of my way as my gate was near theirs, but they were so utterly grateful I couldn’t believe it. And I couldn’t bear the thought of them lost at Heathrow with no language skills!!
Glad your mum found someone so helpful after all.
loading...
Only yesterday I stopped my car and asked an elderly lady and her husband to accept a lift as she seemed to be really struggling. Her husband’s first response was to decline but I insisted. Someone else must have been concerned because by the time I got them home (really only around the corner) an ambulance was pulling in to their driveway. I didn’t really need to think about it…it’s just what you do for the people in your community surely?
I am certainly glad that I didn’t drive by and them come home to read your post!
loading...
They might not have properly seen her even?! I feel like there’s a massive ‘jump to conclusion’ here, without even talking to the people themselves you can’t know why they didn’t answer the door. For all you know they saw someone approaching – and didn’t really note age, blood, anything, other than someone is approaching! And they didn’t want to answer their door.
loading...
I will help. I’ve been told to ‘f*** off’ a couple of times but I always think that’s their problem not mine. I’d rather offer and get rejected than not and think that someone might have needed it.
loading...
That is rubbish that people treated your mum like that, Kate. I’m really sorry that happened.
Fortunately, those people aren’t the only ones in the world, and someone did help your mum. I am a Get Involved kind of person, often a little too much – to the extent that I’ll occasionally worry or embarrass my friends. I’ve asked people on the tram to stop smoking, sat at a train station with a lady who had just fainted while waiting for the ambulance, I’ll offer help to people looking lost in the street, and just last week, I called 000 about a dangerous driver who put myself and my little sister at risk.
I’m not going to stop helping, and I’m sure lots of other Mamamia readers feel the same. We’ll all look after each other, and hopefully convert a few others to think the same along the way.
loading...
see above.
loading...
I reckon the people in the house were probably stoned or high and freaked out…
loading...
These things are not urban myths at all.
It’s a common fact that people fake breakdowns, being lost, injured or otherwise to gain access to people and places to steal or cause harm.
My grandmother let in an injured lady one day who wanted to use the phone to call for help, only to find her and her boyfriend (who she had let in the back door) going through her medicine cabinet.
Wishing your mum a good recovery.
loading...
Sadly I think people not helping isn’t often due to being afraid – it’s due to apathy or just not caring. Just the other day I witnessed a woman standing at the top of some stairs struggling to get a pram down. She was really struggling – it took her a minute or two. Two men stood at the bottom of the stairs just watching her. It wouldn’t have been hard for one of them to reach up and hold the bottom wheels for her so she could carry it down! Another time I personally fell down some stairs – and landed sprawled at the feet of a man who had his nose in a book. He peered over the top of it, looked directly down at me, and resumed reading. I had hurt my ankle and my books had flown everywhere. An “Are you OK?” wouldn’t have hurt!
loading...
“‘You’re telling me a burglar would buy a few Country Road separates, get himself a spoodle, splash a bit of Halloween blood on his face and ring a doorbell on a Sunday morning so he could nick an iPad?’
‘Maybe, or he might have wanted to butcher people as they watched Video Hits. It happens.’”
Really? It happens? On which planet? I have never heard of that happening!
The internet has a lot to answer for. During a marketing course I did a few years back one of the stats I learned was that the real crime rate in Australia hasn’t changed in about 30 years. There is more crime, but not disproportionately to the increase in the number of people. I don’t see how this really posed a danger to the couple in the house.
loading...
How sad that for whatever reason, those people did not want to know. And how nice it was of the person who DID respond to her plea for help. I recently hurled myself onto the footpath and 3 – THREE! – people helped pick me up, dust myself off, and sit me down until I stopped shaking.. I was shaken, rattled and rolled – but I know that at my & your mother’s age even without injury it’s really scary and unsettling to fall heavily. Hope she’s recovering we’ll. And I hope she carries her phone now!
loading...
Many years ago when I was stupidly embarking on a cycle tour in France, I fell off my bike and ripped open my hand. My boyfriend and I had to overcome language barriers and cycle a fair way to get help. We ended up barging into a social worker’s office, mistakenly thinking she was the doctor. She put aside her work, took me to the doctor to translate, allowed us to stay in her home, and drove 2 hours to take me to have minor surgery a day later. It was amazing what she did for two vulnerable people she didn’t know. I’ll never forget that.
loading...
@KazMonkey we had a similar type of experience in southern France 12 years ago. We were staying in a small village for 6 weeks in a house owned by an Australian friend, so lived village life. We went second daily to the nearest big town to their market to get fresh food (even though we had a supermarket in our village) and we visited the same vegie stall for 4 weeks. I hurt my back in the fifth week and the owner of the stall, when I asked directions to the doctor close by shut her stall and took us to the doctor some 6 blocks away. That was a random act of kindness and we have never forgotten the kindness of the people down south. I make sure when people complain about the French, I tell this story and remind them of their kindness. Rarely back home have I had such concern. How unkind the Kate’s mother received no help at home.
loading...
I was home alone one day about 18 years old. The phone rang, and an old lady was looking for her son, because she needed to be taken somewhere.
I told her sorry she had the worng number, but she said that was the one written down. I asked for her sons name and her number.
I looked up all the people who matched that name in the phone book, luckily it wasnt common.
I called of few numbers and found him, told him his mother needed him, but couldt figure out how to get a hold of him and he went straight to her place. He was very grateful.
I am glad I helped, and if she had a medical condition and I did nothing, who know what could of happened.
Yes it took time out of my day. Not much. But I was SO glad I could help her over a phone line.
loading...
Unexpected knock on the front door equals religious nutters, electricity salespeople, council election advertisers, charity collectors or somebody trying to sell you something you don’t want.
loading...
I can see this from both sides. I absolutely, in a public place where I feel safe, will help people. Example – I saw a young girl reverse park into a car then did a runner. I waited for the car’s owner to return to give him the details of the car that hit his. It was an old guy who was clearly a pensioner, and he was very grateful that I waited for him (I have a video camera in my dash – I have had a few really scary road rage attacks so I record my commute onto a memory card that connects to computer – my evidence allowed him to take this girl’s details to police with undeniable video evidence).
BUT – if I’m at home, there are times I won’t answer the door – sometimes I don’t have the energy to be polite to door to door sales or religion.
And on another, practical note – I have a chronic neck injury. There are lots of first aid situations where I simply cannot help. I can’t bend down easily, I can’t take any weight for fear of making my injury worse. So there are situations where I wouldn’t be able to offer practical help. If I’ve got my phone I’ll call someone, if I can wait to show a paramedic the way to the injured I will be there. But there are lots of ways where I would just have to say “I’m sorry, I can’t”. To look at me, unless you see me walk when it’s in spasm, it’s not visible, but I am pretty much in constant pain. But I dont look like an injured person – nobody expects a woman in her early 30s to have a chronic, permanent injury – but i do. So sometimes the whole story isn’t the lack of help but the reasons why a person can’t.
loading...
I am so sad. I’ve beenr eading the comments and so many people too scared to help! Randomly, did you know that the ONLY recorded instance of poisened halloween candy EVER was a father poisening his son for the insurance? Ever? There has NEVER been a random stranger poisening children.
What are the odds of someone actually intentionally causing you harm? Seriously? Are we all so protective of our own personal safety that we are willing to let others come to harm?
I will always help when needed. Even if there is a chance I will be at risk. Even if there is a chance my children will be at risk, i will teach them to always help others (within easonable limits). I just couldn’t live with myself otherwise.
ETA and no, I couldn’t live with myself if something happenned to my kids that I could have prevented, but they are FAR more likely to be injured in a car accident than by some random stranger pretending to need help.
loading...
My mother passed out on public transport. No one did much to help her, besides recoiling away from her like they might catch something. When she went to sit on the only available seat on the crowded tram, somebody cut her off and sat down before her.
We’re all doomed.
loading...
Hi Kate,
The 20-somethings you describe, unfortunately, seem to be spoiling the reputation of the many. I know that had I, a 24-year-old, been in that situation, I would not have hesitated to help your mother in any way I possibly could have. And what makes matters worse – your friend and colleague both justified their actions by saying that these people didn’t help because “That kind of crap can take up your whole day.”
That has to be one of the most selfish things I have ever heard. God forbid these people ever require assistance because, as far as I’m concerned, selfishness begets selfishness.
On the plus side, that driver who pulled over to help your mum sounds like an absolute legend of the highest order. We need more people like him in this world.
L xx
loading...
Sorry but I have told my son not to help anyone when he is walking home from school as that can be a lure for a child. We have told him that if someone is injured and asks for his help to make sure he stays out of arms reach and tell them he will go back to school and get them to call an ambulance for them. If they are legit they won’t mind and he has remained safe.
On the other hand I had someone come to my door one night. It was raining and he was fumbling with his take away dinner and a few groceries. His bag had split and he asked if I had one. I did so I gave him one, no harm done. I kept the screen door locked until the last moment though. Unfortunately these days you can’t be too careful
loading...
Don’t be sorry for that ads! It’s a great idea and just plain good sense. The person in trouble gets the help they need and your son gets to stay safe. It’s a win-win situation.
loading...
We live in rural NSW now after leaving Sydney 6 years ago. We find that there is, in general, far more community involvement where we live now: more people belong to the Surf Club, the Rural Fire Service, churches, and therefore more people know each other.
We have tried (and succeeded) to instill in our children (now grown up) that belonging to a community means providing some services back to it. So, we volunteer as a family at the local RFS and surf club too.
Also, being in a smaller community has meant that there are more people keeping an eye out for your children. EG my son tried to hitch hike when he was about 15 and was immediately picked up by someone that knew him, who took him into town, giving him a serve about the dangers of lifts from strangers, then called me to dob him in!
There is a grain of truth in the comment below, though, about smaller communities needing to be more polite to each other to protect their reputations!
I believe that we would have definitely assisted your mother and that our children (21 & 23) would have too!
loading...
I agree Sandi. I grew up in a small town on the mid-north coast and community has been a huge part of my life. One of the biggest challenges when I moved for study was adjusting to city life, which still feels a lot more anonymous.
Where I would have helped anyone in my hometown, I now rely on my instincts and judge situations on a case-by-case basis. There are good people everywhere, but there’s nothing like a community that supports everyone.
loading...
After reading a lot of the comments of people not getting help when there were people around to help. Did any of you ask for help? Try not to get angry, a simple ‘can you help me please?’ is enough to motivate people. I know a lot of times when I have struggled with something eg opening a door with a pram, dropping things, helping a grandmother on and off a plane, if no one offered help I always ask someone around me, most are willing. It would be nice if people just automatically came to help but we live busy lives and dont notice or they think you are capable and some dont offer for fear of offending.
loading...
Well said.
loading...
A few years ago I was the passenger in my friend’s car as we pulled up to a set of lights. There was a blind man, with his white stick, making to cross the road – except, he was no where near the cross walk. Fearing he’d be run over if he stepped out amongst the cars, I jumped out and asked him if he needed any help crossing the road. He turned to me and screamed “Do I look like I need any f*cking help?!!” Needless to say, I’ve been reluctant to jump in and help people since!
loading...
Oh no! Don’t think of it like that! Write him off as a cranky old man who has given you a funny story to tell, and keep helping people and being lovely.
loading...
I too watched a blind man cross the road but he was not walking in a straight line so I yelled out to him “go to your right”. I felt so guilty that I didn’t stop that after driving about 5kms I turned back to see if he was ok. He was obviously safe at home as I couldn’t see him but I am glad I went back.
I always tell my son that it doesn’t matter what others do as long as you do the right thing. You did the right thing so don’t let that man’s comments stop you from being the kind person you are.
loading...
This story is both sad and terrible for your poor mum and I’m glad there was eventually a kind stranger to help her.
My poor old Mum (who’e gone now) lived in Auburn NSW and did a regular walk to the shopping centre – most of the multi-cultural shopkeepers knew her and they were the ones who so kindly helped her after a mini-collapse once.
The thing that used to sadden me though was that she often used to stand at her gate for a while waiting for the postman and would say “Hello” to the passers by……people who knew her would return the greeting but there were others who never did.
These people (mainly women) were usually dressed in the clothes of their culture and would virtually ignore her – they may have had language problems, but it takes so little to smile back to a little old lady………I just wish I’d been there to ask them why.
Another issue that bothers me is that for some time now, children’s imaginations have been sorely neglected……….without a healthy imagination – there’s very little empathy.
It’s too difficult for people with stunted imaginations to “IMAGINE” another person’s pain ……….another person’s personal hardship, health problems, distress, fear for their safety and on it goes………
You could very well blame modern media like violent films and video games for creating the kind of people who couldn’t care less about someone else being hurt – they’ve become indifferent observers of real life as well as fantasy.
Our society is full of people who’ve never really been challenged away from their “comfort zones”………if I had my way I’d be recruiting high school students to visit homes for the disabled, do “Meals on Wheels”, visit Cancer wards, help with various accident victims & their therapy, serve meals in charity institutions and anything else that would give them a bit of a “reality check”.
You’ll usually find that the people who help the most are the ones who need help themselves,…. the ones who give the most (relatively speaking) are the ones with the least……I’m always happy to see an older taxi driver in my cab because they’re usually the most courteous and helpful.
Sadly the world IS becoming a less helpful place – but just occasionally we get a welcome surprise.
loading...
The school I went to in year 11 and 12 had a program whereby we went and visited a local school for the disabled one lunchtime every month. Every one did it with no hesitation. We played with the kids and helped feed them lunch. It has stuck with me. I believe the school still runs the program. I should mention this is a very community minded private school- I’m not sure the government would be able to run this program in public schools without a lot of planning. But I know of quite a few other nearby schools that have community service programs that are compulsory. Great idea.
loading...
I think it’s Kmart that regularly does a Christmas appeal each year and regularly one of the the biggest contributors to this appeal is the Kmart at Goodna (Redbank) in Qld. The suburb is one of the poorer I’ve seen.
A friend of mine used to collect for greenpeace and she told me that the best areas for it were the low socio economic ones, while the shops at the higher socio economics were far worse.
loading...
I read this earlier this morning and thought it over and then went out to enjoy my day off thinking nothing more about it. When I arrived at the petrol station to fill up my car a lady was having trouble filling her car (I work in a petrol station but at another site so I was being anonymous) I thought it over and thought “bugger it! I’ll help her”. She was so generous and explained that she was really struggling and had been having such a rough time with life in general that was nearly the straw that broke the camels back. I felt a bit chuffed with myself but my day has now been filled with noticing things I generally would walk past….. I’m so ashamed that in the four instances that I have not ignored today I would have done so yesterday. Thanks Kate for the wake up call and the reminder to look out for eachother.
loading...
oh that’s lovely
loading...
Yeah, nope. I’m a 21 year old woman living alone and I don’t feel bad in the slightest for protecting myself. If I get a knock on the door I’m not expecting, I answer with the chain on, if at all. No one I don’t know sets foot inside my place unless absolutely necessary (fire alarm inspectors etc) and if they do, I tell a friend or my parents beforehand, casually, that I’m expecting an inspection or an electrician or whatever. If your mum had knocked on my door, I would not have answered unless she shouted through it that she was injured.
Regarding acts of kindness in public, I think often it’s less that people are uncaring and more that they don’t know if their intervention will be well-received. If I see someone trip for instance or carrying something heavy (unless it’s obviously causing them injury), I’m not very likely to go and help because I know if I were in their position, I’d want to pick myself up and keep moving, or accomplish the task, without the embarrassment. This operates for elderly people and people with visible disabilities too. I cringe internally when I see people trying to shepherd a visually impaired person across the street, for instance, because rightly or wrongly I find it patronising to assume they’re incapable of managing the task alone.
It’s different if someone is visibly struggling or visibly not okay, though. A few weeks ago I stopped to help out a guy who was completely wasted with alcohol poisoning and lying prone on George St in Sydney at about 11:30pm one Saturday night. He was shaking and vomiting and his “friends” had apparently thought it’d be a great idea to leave him flat on his back where he might choke on his own vomit. I stayed with him and kept his airway clear while someone else (not one of his “friends”) phoned for an ambulance. The result? Another bystander, who was not helping this guy, kept trying to seize the chance to get my bag away from me. He didn’t succeed, but it wasn’t for lack of effort, more because I was in a suspicious mood and kept the strap looped around my leg while I was on the ground with the drunk guy.
I’d stop to help again in that scenario, on a busy street in full view of CCTV cameras, but I know it pays to keep my wits about me even then. Would I do the same for someone on an empty road with no CCTV and no friend waiting for me down the block? Maybe, but it’s far more likely I’d dial for help before setting foot anywhere near them. That’s not unkindness, that’s just a healthy sense of self-preservation.
loading...
Kate, I’m glad your mum got the help she needed in the end and I’m sorry I don’t answer the door if I am not expecting anyone. You never know, and while I realise she probably didn’t look like an axe murderer, they could have thought that she was one of those religious nutbags, in which case I don’t blame them for not answering. While I lived in a house in the burbs that’s what most door knocks were for.
It would have been different if she was crying for help but in this situation you just wouldn’t know and it doesn’t really surprise me that people didn’t open the door. I could be wrong but I would guess that this is how a lot of people would react.
loading...
I have been the recipient of two acts of random kindness in the past year. A week ago a stranger spent 15 minutes (unsuccessfully) trying to locate a giant huntsman spider that was crawling around the inside of my car. Last year, I got a flat tyre driving my kids to school and realised I’d left my mobile at home. A man stuck in a long line of peak hour traffic on his way to work saw me in distress, did a U turn and called the NRMA. He then drove me, my 4 daughters, and about 10 bags and musical instruments to my kids’ school, then drove me back to my car and waited until the NRMA arrived. Incredible.
loading...
It’s stories like this that give me hope for humanity. Lovely story and what a great guy for helping you out!
loading...
I remember reading a news article a while back about an indigenous university professor who had a stroke near some bus shelters at a Queensland university campus. No one helped her for hours and made the assumption that she was drunk. I found it absolutely shocking and have since made sure that if I ever see someone who looks unconscious to check if they’re okay.
loading...
Bit of a straw poll here- Does the amount of help you receive vary depending on the area you are in at the time?
Whenever anything happens in the area that I live in you see everybody come out of their houses to check out what is going on. A while ago we had a car crash through a house on our street. People cam running from everywhere! The car had crashed into a bedroom where a mother and her kids were sleeping and her husband was away. Everyone made sure she was alright and called the police. The driver of the car had run away but the kids from down the street knew who it was and managed to get them to come back to the scene. Some guys called FESA and began removing debris and patching up her house. It is good to know that you have neighbours who take notice.
Another time a man appeared at our back window with a screw driver in his hand and covered in blood. That sounds bad doesn’t it? You would assume he was some type of psycho. Turns out he had snuck through our side gate to hide from his wife who had attacked him with a tyre iron. That’s why he was covered in blood. The police informed us it was not the first time his wife had attacked him! It was a good thing we helped him.
loading...
I’m shocked by people not wanting to help. I always help when it’s needed and i am in my 20′s i have helped lost people, injured kids and old ladies even some drunk girls aged about 13 looking for deoderant at 9:30 at night to.spray their vomit covered friend. when i was 11 i was very small and used to faint once i fainted on the train going to the christmas pagent with my older sister the only people who helped were some very rough looking teenagers while all the adults commented loudly about drug taking young people until my sister commented on the fact that i was obviously a child and they should be ashamed of them selves when i came to they saw just how young i was and said sorry. i find the most judgemental group are not gen y but gen x but i guess it’s all down to personal experiances.
loading...
I catch the bus to work every morning – an express bus where you HAVE to buy a prepaid ticket before you get on the bus. I climbed onto the bus, went toget my ticket and then realised it wasn’t in my pocket anymore. Panicked. Tried to explain my situation to the bus driver in the vain hope that he would let me on for free. He told me to get stuffed. (Admittedly, it was VERY early in the morning and he was probably in a terrible mood.)
Just as I was about to climb off the bus, some random guy stepped forward and said “here, I’ll dip my ticket in for you” and gave me a ride on his ticket so that I could get to work! I wanted to hug him. Good karma is coming his way for sure.
loading...
Oh a similar thing happened to me. I was at the airport dropping my parents off and realized I had brought my handbag but left my wallet at home. Two lovely guys gave me some money to get a parking ticket to get out. Certainly hoping good karma comes their way!
loading...
This morning I left work quickly in my lunch break to go to a doctor’s appointment. Realised while waiting for the bus I hadn’t brought my travel card (stupid!) so bought one from the nearby newsagent.. Went to touch on and an error message came up saying it was an invalid card. I think I must have looked pretty upset because the driver was just “don’t worry about it love” and gestured for me to hop on. Was a nice moment in an otherwise crappy day.
loading...
I would have helped if I had seen she was hurt. Well, OK, I would have at least got up and gone over to see what it was about if I knew they’d seen me. I think the behaviour of the people here is rude but in their defense, if it was sunny outside they might not have seen she was injured, they probably only saw a silhouette.
But I admit, if I’m not expecting anyone I don’t answer the door (or rather, the buzzer – no one knows if I’m home or not from the front gate of the complex!)
I also don’t pick up the phone if it’s a private number.
Interestingly, my behavior changes when I’m in my hometown at my parents’ place, when I’ll open the doors so people know we’re home and they can just drop in without calling etc. I still don’t pick up their phone, though!
loading...
I’m an extremely shy, anxious person. I can just about keep it together in my day to day life, but my home is my sanctuary and I don’t do well with any intrusions. I’ve had panic attacks upon hearing an unexpected knock on my door. It’s not about feeling in danger, it’s about not being up to dealing with another human being. If I’m not expecting anyone, I won’t answer the door, though I’m sure it’s usually obvious I’m home. If I did open the door to someone like your mum, I’d let her in, but it would quite honestly be a traumatic experience for me, as melodramatic as that sounds.
I think people have every right not to answer their door when they don’t want to, whatever the reason may be. If your mum had been crying out for help that would be a different thing, but for all the people in that house knew she was just a busybody who wanted to tell them they were going to burn in hell unless they accepted Jesus into their lives.
As far as people being unhelpful, as someone who’s regularly a bit of a mess I find the opposite. Personally I’d love it if people just ignored me, I’d be able to function much better on my bad days if I didn’t have to deal with concerned people trying to interact with me. I’m an extreme case, but for every person who wants a stranger to ask them if they’re ok there’s another who just wants to be left alone. If I see someone crying in public or someone who’s fallen over but seems fine, it doesn’t really occur to me to help because I know I wouldn’t want anyone coming up to me in those situations.
loading...
I hope you are getting professional help!
loading...
Perhaps I’m naive and opening myself up to burglary and assault, but I’d rather assume that the person is genuine and give them help, than suspect otherwise. Also, I spend good money keeping my first aid up-to-date, and I could have used my skills.
loading...
There are lovely people out there. A lot of them ARE older though. I was in a shopping centre with my Mum & 3 kids and my mother went down the escalator with my older two completely forgetting I am TERRIFIED of escalators. So I was standing at the top with my pram & tiny baby absolutely terrified, paralysed with fear. An older gentleman, asked me if I was Ok & I started to cry and he offered to take my pram down for me, and I followed.
I was about as grateful as a person could be.
Having 3 children under 5 I have had so many people help me & be kind. But I’m not very threatening I guess.
loading...
If they couldn’t see the detail of the wound on her face through the screen door (you certainly can’t see all that much detail through my one, let alone from a room away), they may have assumed this was a religious door knocker. Plenty of lovely elderly ladies doing that in our neighbourhood, I know our neighbours hide from them! My partner funnily enough is actually happy chat to them and engage in a bit of a (polite) debate though.
loading...
Argh, yes! A couple of years ago I was walking down a travelator just behind a couple (they looked 50 or so). One of them was carrying a dripping umbrella. It was to a lower level carpark so we were the only ones there. I slipped in the water and fell behind them, my phone smashed into multiple pieces and slid along with my car keys to the bottom of the travelator, practically at their feet. What did they do? Turned around, looked at me, laughed and walked off! I was left with a sprained wrist, cuts all over my hands and I even managed to cut my knees through my jeans.
I couldn’t believe how rude they were. If one of them had of fallen, I would’ve stopped and helped them. And I definitely wouldn’t laugh at someone!
loading...
yeah sorry, i dont answer the door if im not expecting anyone either, i cant be bothered talking to randoms and you just never know.
loading...
The other day some salespeople came to my door and I said, “Sorry I don’t wanna talk. Bye” and shut the door.
loading...
I must say I am disgusted but not that surprised at the stories below from some posters and the attitudes of (a few) posters below.
I work in emergency services and put myself in dangerous situations on a daily basis to assist people. Yes – I do get paid to do this job but I am not at all compensated for the level of danger I and my colleagues sometimes experience. I do it to help people and I can tell you, there a lot of people out there who need help.
So it’s potentially dangerous to help a stranger who is injured and in need of assistance? The chances of it being a malicious act are very slim. It’s more potentially dangerous to drive a car. Yet most people are more than happy to put themselves in a car and drive around every day. It sounds to me like the ‘it might be dangerous’ attitude is just a convenient excuse for ‘I just don’t give a s&@t‘.
loading...
Why does that disgust you? People help if they want to help and if they feel comfortable helping in a given situation. It’s not up to you to dictate to someone that they should open the door to a stranger if they feel uncomfortable doing that.
loading...
Simply put, i feel disgusted that we live in a society where it’s a choice whether to help an injured elderly person/pregnant woman etc (an example from many of the stories listed). It should be a moral obligation.
loading...
A month ago my Dad had a stroke while leaving a pub that was next door to the motel he was staying in. He was over in Qld for work and was staying at the same motel he always did, where he is well known to the staff. When one of the motel’s staff members arrived for work just before 7am she recognised my Dad as he was being loaded into an ambulance and rushed to ring everyone from his work who had also stayed at the hotel so someone back in WA would know what had happened. The police launched an investigation into the incident and got hold of footage of Dad leaving the pub (which was about 200m from his motel room)… at midnight! He was on the ground outside a busy pub, that he went to for dinner every time he arrived in Qld, for almost 7hrs before someone called an ambulance! This is a well dressed man in his 60′s wearing glasses and (very expensive) hearing aids, who was conscious but unable to move and not one person took a minute to help him or even let the pub staff know he was there! Not only that, his injuries indicate that he didn’t just hurt himself while falling as a result of the stroke, but that he was also assaulted. His credit card was missing from his wallet, his hearing aids were also missing, his phone wasn’t found with him nor were his glasses. No one stopped to help my Dad and it also seems like someone put the boot in while he was down and robbed him for good measure!
I’m just thankful for whoever it was that DID ring for an ambulance! There are a lot of scumbags in the world… but there is also the occasional angel who help and save people just because it is what should be done!
loading...
Oh my god I just cannot believe that.
That is truly awful! What absolute BASTARDS!
If it’s any consolation I would have stopped and helped him!
Karma is all I can say to that one.
loading...
That must be so traumatic. I hope your Dad is okay, and that the experience hasn’t left any long-lasting effects
so upsetting
loading...
Oh my goodness, that is the most horrid experience that I have read here today. I sincerely hope that your father is recovering (emotionally and physically).
There are some real arseholes in this world, I wish whoever assaulted your father the pox.
loading...