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If the week is dragging on for you, I’ve got a bit of good news. It’s Wednesday, and that means two things – firstly, it’s all downhill to Friday from here, and secondly, it’s time for Open Post! Come have a chat about whatever is on your mind and catch up on what’s been happening around Mamamia HQ…

Office life

According to the Chinese zodiac, it’s the Year of the Dragon. Well, I’ve renamed 2012 The Year of the Cupcake, because being at the office this week has been like being stuck at a sponge cake bake-off at the local country club. MM’s Managing Editor Lana brought in all the leftover treats from her son’s birthday – date slice, rocky road and a bright blue birthday cake (the cake was great, the colour not so much). And then Tuesday saw the arrival of some stunning Mamamia cupcakes which were devoured pretty quickly. Check out all the baked treats – and lots more! – in our gallery of what’s been happening around the office this week…

We're all still a little gaga over our Associate Editor Rebecca Sparrow's new baby boy Fin. And very jealous Mia got to fly down and meet him.

Social media site of the week

With all the social networking sites floating around – Facebook, Twitter, Linked in, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, Google+, to name just a few – you might not remember MySpace. It faded way into the background when Facebook came along, with as many as 10 million users jumping ship from one site to the other within a single month. Well, MySpace is making a comeback. This from the SMH:

facebook 380x570 Open post of the week (16th Feb)MySpace claims that it now has “an average of 40,000 new registrations daily” and says it has added more than a million new users since launching its new MySpace Music Player in December.

The site also touts its library of 42 million songs as the world’s largest collection of free music, signifying that services like Spotify — not Facebook or Google+ — may be its real competition.

“The numbers tell an amazing story of strong momentum and dramatic change for Myspace,” company CEO Tim Vanderhook said in a statement. “And the one million-plus new user accounts we’ve seen in the last 30 days validates our approach.”

Would you use MySpace as an alternative to the ever-changing, increasingly confusing Facebook? Or maybe you’re like me and suffering from complete social media overload, constantly trying to remember all your passwords for different things… thoughts?

Spunky Goanna Legs

What’s your pet name for your significant other? Babe? Sweetheart? Honey-munchkin-pants? The Telegraph has done a survey on the nicknames that lovers use, and you might be surprised at some of the things people are calling each other:

Spunky Goanna Legs, Anaconda Pants and the Minister of War and Finance, take a bow. You make up the honour guard of Australia’s unusual nicknames for lovers.

By contrast, those of you calling to “Babes” could find 20 per cent of any given crowd replying “Yes?” It’s Australia’s most common pet name for lovers.

More than 2500 people responded to our call to tell us their lover’s nickname. Women were slightly more likely than men to call their partner Babes, while men were much more likely to call their lover the 9th and 10th most popular responses – Chook and Pumpkin.

Others perhaps showed a strain in relations, Harvey Norman (No Interest for Years!) and Life At The Turn Of The Century among them.

I can’t even begin to imagine what the story would be behind “Spunky Goanna Legs”, although I’d probably appreciate that more than “Harvey Norman”… is your name for your partner in the list of most popular names (which also include bub, honey, bunny, pookie, princess) or is it more original? And if you don’t have a partner, what would you call your future significant other?

Wardrobe Week

As you might have read before on Mamamia, Wardrobe Week is part of our new approach to showcasing diversity in 2012. We often struggle to find appropriate images for our street-style galleries, which is why we want our readers to star in our posts so we can ALL start contributing to a more realistic portrayal of women in the media.

We want to feature anyone who’s happy to send us a few photos of what they’re wearing that week and tell us where it all came from.

We’re still looking for submissions, so here’s how it works. You submit a week’s worth of photos of yourself to wardrobeweek@mamamia.com.au and tell us what you’re wearing.

The key is to make sure the images are full-length and shot in the same place each day, preferably against a white wall. Well lit. 5-10 images are perfect (if, for example, you have two in one day) and make sure to include details of what you’re wearing in each shot.

If you’d like to see an example, we put together a gallery of some of the Mamamia staff and what they wear around the office – check it out:

Mamamia's Sales Manager, Vanessa, wearing Kookai jacket, Seduce top, Portmans skirt and shoes from South America.

So boring, it should be free

I spent $12 to go to a class at the gym on Monday, which didn’t fuss me too much until I started thinking about all the money I’ve spent at the gym over the years. An awful lot, I’d say. And in my opinion the gym is such a boring place that it should really be free – after all, I’m just going to attempt to get fit and be healthy – I’m not actually enjoying myself.

It got us back to thinking of what else is so boring that it should be free. What do you think – tampons? Socks? Getting a passport? Going to the dentist?

So that’s all from me – over to you. What’s been on your mind?

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303 Comments so far

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    Anonymous

    just a qestion, i am spending the weekend in Sydey , staying in George st .Would really appreciate any suggestions from sydney siders as to wher to go for a good , affordable blow dry ?

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      elle

      Wink Hair on Hunter St is very good & about $55
      If you go to Chinatown or Pitt St you can get cheaper blowdrys (around $30) from Japanese or Chinese salons but I cant vouch for the quality

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    elle

    The gallery is very beautiful-you are all very stylish!

    OMM this week is a boy *sigh*. Its ridiculous because we only had a brief fling in October but it felt SO right and i was SO sure that he was feeling the same that i let go and trusted. When i expressed how I felt (like i really like you, feel butterflies around you, love being with you etc) he would say the same too. But then we went on a date to a fancy restaurant (that i organised) and afterwards he freaked out, said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, had bad experiences with ex gfs and was ‘scared’ of girls. Still he said he didnt want anything to change but if I wanted to just be friends then he was really happy with that. So I was upset because I was just sooo into him and angry because I felt so foolish opening myself up to him and him acting like he wanted to be with me when he obvz didnt.
    Anyway I thought I am happy if we can stay friends because I just felt this amazing connection with him & wanted him in my life. Anyway now its February so 4 months later and he now doesn’t contact me anymore. After someone wrote nonsense on his facebook wall in spanish (from a fake account i think), he blocked me which I was so offended with because its like he assumed I would do that, does he really think so little of me? He didnt even ask me if I did it! Plus I dont speak Spanish?? I just feel so foolish, like this pathetic girl who keeps trying to contact him (I text maybe once every 2 weeks). It hurts how he was so into me and fascinated with me and now it feels like he thinks im this crazy woman he needs to block on facebook. It hurts that I cant stop thinking about him and really want him in my life and he probably doesnt even think of me! Also there is nothing I can do or say ! If I tried to express this he’d probably think I was crazy and want to avoid me more! I am so depressed today because it feels like something is wrong with me/I am not enough and that I am ‘crazy’ and have to be avoided when I’ve been nothing but kind and amazing to him :(

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    Laws for Clouds

    Just wondering, is MM aware they’re running American Apparel ads? I know some websites let a third party sell their space so you might not know each company advertising.

    This is why I think you might not want them:
    http://www.mamamia.com.au/news/american-apparel-the-next-big-thing/
    http://www.mamamia.com.au/style/american-apparel-women-sex-exploitation/
    http://www.mamamia.com.au/entertainment/this-is-an-ad-for-jeans-wait-what-week-in-pics/
    http://www.mamamia.com.au/style/are-these-american-apparel-images-pornagraphic-clearly-i-havent-seen-enough-porn/

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    IM

    I love Mia’s blue dress page 6, she looks gorgeous!

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    mels

    I love the photos of the MM office- looks like you’ve had a great week. Fin is absolutely gorgeous!

    Just over a year ago I had a dream that my cousin would have twins and it happened. They are due any day now and I can’t wait to meet them.

    Today i’ve been thinking about Rick’s eloquent article from yesterday. It was incredible and I am sure it took a lot of hard work to make it perfect- even if you are a gifted writer. I talked about the article with my mum and I really learnt a lot about her in the process- all good things. That article is rare and revolutionary because when people start discussing the importance of equality, I believe that is the first step towards much needed and urgent change. I worry so much about people out there feeling isolated or scared and how they shouldn’t have to. Rick’s article was powerful because it touched on personal and broader social issues that need addressing. It made me question what I have done to be part of that change. I know I will take what I learnt from that with me through life because it was so honest and insightful.

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    Anna Sparkle

    this week…….period. which is good because it means my body is doing something….. with PCOS any sign of anything happening can only be a good thing.
    but…its a bad thing because… im not pregnant. again. so, soo scared of this turning into another long, stressful haul to conceive. its already been 8 months of trying, and this is just early days..

    but my goodness…. i am so incredibly lucky to have such a beautiful little son….he fills my every single day with sunlight, i looked at him playing and chatting away to himself this morning and was just overwhelmed with love and awe….. it just blows me away that i get to be his mummy :)

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    missneriss

    Still no baby. I’m going mental. And there can’t be anything about to happen as I was out on the bike today with no problems whatsoever. I’m fit (as fit as I can be, anyway), healthy and obviously the world’s best incubator. Perhaps I should rent my uterus.

    Meanwhile, my head’s a mess. Hormones, full blown ugly crying, sore jaw from grinding my teeth… My body is fully prepped to get this baby out, (engaged, mucus plug loooong gone etc), but she just isn’t interested in moving. Come on Inky, you can do it!

    And I swear, if one more person makes some ‘helpful’ comment about being patient, or making the most of this time blah blah blah, I might punch them.

    Happy Wednesday Everyone!

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      rainbow

      see you on the other side

      good-luck!

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    missmuffin

    I feel the need to mention that I am eating NUTELLA GELATO in Rome. It is making up for the fact that the Colosseum is still closed after 4 beautiful sunny days…

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    chellebelle

    I was given a very humbling lesson in human kindness today. After a long day of meetings in Sydney I was flying back to Canberra. The large plane was very full, and the woman next to me was overflowing uncomfortably into my personal space. I was feeling… over it. Then a woman came on, last, and loudly talked to herself as she found her seat in the row in front of mine. She was clearly suffering from mental health issues. You could just see everyone around give an inward groan. She talked loudly, and quite hysterically, and in a very rambling way about a litany of issues. If it had been me seated next to her I would have asked to be moved if possible. It was bad enough sitting behind her. The two amazing women in the seats either side of her talked with her, calmed her down by just listening and letting her talk, so that she got quieter and less bothersome to others. They interacted with her for the whole hour plus – listening kindly and sometimes laughing with her. By the time the flight landed she kissed each of them on the cheek and went on her way – much calmer than when she boarded. I was very impressed with the two women who acted so selflessly. I will try and do the same myself if I’m ever in that situation. Kudos to you, kind strangers. May there be many more like you out there for all of those in need.

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    Cordeline

    Love that photo of Mia and adorable baby Fin.
    Love those hospital baby wraps.
    I can almost smell that intoxicating newborn-smell looking at that photo.
    I would keep having babies just to experience those blankets and that smell again and again.

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    Anon cause I'm ashamed

    I did something bad today. I am so ashamed of myself. Today my screaming child had JUST gone to sleep in the car and I had to return an overdue book to the library. The 5 minute parking was full, so… I parked in the disabled park. AS I GOT OUT OF THE CAR a lady who legitimately needed it drove slowly past. I feel like the lowest of the low. I have never parked in a disabled spot before and I never will again. It is not worth the shame. :(

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      Kitten

      So yeah, parking in the disabled spot unless you’re disabled isn’t cool. You made a bit of a selfish decision. But you regret it and won’t repeat it. I think that makes you (a) a flawed human being like the rest of us but (b) a lovely human being also.

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    bookkat

    OMM: I miss my Nan. Today is the 2 year anniversary of her death. It was long and cruel and she was taken far too soon.

    She was my inspiration and my friend and I miss her everyday. She taught me many things but her greatest gift was sharing her love of reading. It gives me such pleasure being able to share that gift with others. She also taught me to be thankful for what I have and how to love.

    So for all of you that are struggling, I send you some love and hope that everything gets better soon xoxox

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      Loulee

      Such a lovely post Book Kat. Thank you. My mum is sick at the moment and we love sharing books.

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      Lana

      That’s just beautiful bookkat. Your Nan would be so proud of you

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      Kris2040

      My Nan was in the Kris-Mum-Nan book club. I miss her all the time too. KDot’s got her name as a middle name. :)

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      Cordeline

      What a lovely post from you.

      I am often amazed at how much I miss my Nan. She died 8 years ago and she is in my thoughts so often and even though I have wonderful memories of her, I still feel so sad when I realise she is gone. She was a super lady.

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    Emmeline

    Hi everyone!

    Can someone please tell me if it is only me and my children…….?

    Went to Sportspower today (husband, 2.5yr old, 17mth old and me). It is inside a Toyworld store – handy for toddlers…not. Could not get 2.5yr old to cooperate as there were tantalising trucks and tractors everywhere as husband was trying to buy new shoes. Husband agrees to buy him a little dump truck. Still tantruming and wouldn’t leave the store. By this time the staff would almost certainly have had a gutful of our crying whinging children. Ok so I lost my temper and dragged him out of the shop by the arm. Not helpful. My husband gave him a smack on the leg once he was in his car seat because he started to shriek and wouldn’t stop. Then we argued all the way home. I feel bad, husband feels bad etc.

    Don’t want this to turn into a smacking debate but can someone please tell me what the hell we are supposed to do when there seems like no other option left? Is it just my kids who seem to be so naughty all the time (home and out). There is a small age gap of 15mths but I thought I had a handle on that.

    Can any experienced mummies help me? And to think just this morning I was dreaming of/contemplating a third baby…..

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      Loulee

      Oh poor Emmeline! Don’t worry we’ve all been there. It’s not just your children. I’ve had some shocking experiences in shops with my two. My sister had a theory that it was easier just to stay at home for a few years rather than endure the trauma of going out with toddlers. In my experience there is no point trying to reason with a toddler. Don’t worry it does get easier!

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      Lottie

      You are not alone! No magic answers from me either. My husband bought his last pair of runners online. Same brand and size as the last pair. That solved a public tantrum. They still happen here though :/

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      kateaswell

      I am totally not an “experienced mummy” – Miss 3 and Miss 1 kick my ass every day – but let me join the chorus in saying it is no way just you or just your kids … that’s because I’m convinced it’s just me and my kids :) Keep on trucking love!

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      Anonymous

      My children are 7 and 4 and they are HORRIBLE at the shops. They’re pretty good everywhere else but never at the shops. I’ve found it easier just not to take them.

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      hayley mumof 3.5

      i think it comes down to luck of the draw… i was in a good mood today and i went with 2 of my children first thing so they werent tired and they were fed., i ran into a mum from school who said, your boys are so good for you. i had to point out i had bribed them with a chocolate but i waited until after the groceries were done so u get the most out of the bribe. and its a one bribe per trip rule for me now and u have to hold it out till the end. if you say they arent allowed to have something DO NOT EVER GIVE IN! its taken me 6 years to figure this out though, It takes me a while to figure things out! ( also just figured out the same bed time no matter what for all the kids). if im in a good mood though it helps alot, we all have a different perception of naughty/ difficult. does it really matter if the kids are pushing all the buttons on the toys in the toy aisle. my husband says yes, i say they have the buttons exposed for a reason. i just say to the kids they can push the buttons but we arent taking it home. but today was a Really Good day, i would say a miracle this is not the norm for me and this was the start of the day, the end was less than impressive, tired children, cricket practice, mud, a heavily pregnant mum and getting pulled aside by my 6year olds teacher so she could say we needed to have a meeting with the principal about 6yearolds classroom behaviour…… not good. dont stress we are all in the same boat, that mum with the perfect child today will be that mum with that really naughty child tomorrow.

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      Lu

      I have a theory on kids and shopping centres. The lights and noise screw with their little brains.
      I saw a social worker when my son started throwing massive tantrums and I couldnt control him. She told me to pick my battles, some are worth fighting, and the ones in public places arent, so give in or pick him up and move him away.
      She also reassured me tantrums are a healthy normal way to let off steam. As adults we are conditiond to control them but we would probably all be healthier if we did occassionally throw a 2 year old tanty!
      I chose to deal with my sons by avoiding shopping centres with him. And then slowly I took him on his own. Baby steps, for a milkshake and some lego and then home. And then as he got better and more controlled and easier to reason with the trips became longer until he was helping me do the groceries by the time he was about 4. He is now 11 and I have found he still doesnt like shops much, unless its Rebel Sport. Good luck.

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      looby

      It ain’t called the terrible two’s for nothing unfortunately. Then there’s the frickn three’s to look forward to as well.
      As others have said, bribery works. Also used the ” see that man/woman over there ? He/she is one of Santa’s spies ” line from about July onwards.
      No magic solutions, just get creative. A glass of wine at the end of the day can’t hurt either. For you, not the toddler. Good luck :-)

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      alikelystory

      Oh hon, we have all been there! so hugs to you but I can also share a couple tips… I go to the shops with 1.5 and 3.5yr old as little as possible (cos i also dont like shopping!) but when we do… I prepare a battle plan. Work out for myself (or with hubby) how long we are going for, whether there will be treats, if there is a melt down who deals with it and how. also explain BEFORE HAND to the 2.5yr old the rules for the shops. in that situation I would say something like ‘X, we are going to the shops today to help Daddy buy some shoes! we might get to see some cool trucks too (yay!). the trucks are only for looking at, not for taking home ok? if there is any complaining, we will need to sit in the car, ok?’ then ask them – so what happens if there is any complaining (or tantrums or whatever you say?) – get them to respond – sit in the car. I find clarifying expectations and getting them to SAY It works wonders. There may be a treat.reward afterwards but i prefer not to bribe. eg reward for good behaviour after it happens, dont pend the behaviour before it happens on it or tell them they will get it in advance (thats my preference as i want them to do right not just for reward). a pleasant surprise if you will. discuss it, then follow through. they will learn you mean what you say! oh – and pack lots of snacks!! press on Mama!!

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    El Belle

    Hello!

    It seems like it has been a very happy week at MM. I feel like the quality of articles is getting better and better too.. they are longer and meatier.

    Feeling a little lost with my LLB at the minute and was hoping to get some advice from anyone senior in the legal industry. I really want practical experience, have done a few clerkships and some voluntary work but now I’m unemployed and just can’t seem to get a foot in the door! Legal Secretarial positions run a mile from Law Students as they want to train and retain whilst Paralegal positions seem impossible to get your hands on! I don’t have any connections and just don’t know what to do!!

    Does anyone have any tips?

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      whippersnapper

      Hi El Belle, how far along in your LLB are you? When I worked at uni (2nd to 3rd year), I worked in retail and by chance I got an admin role at Births, Deaths & Marriages. It wasn’t ideal, but it gave me a foot in the door in that my next job turned out to be a legal secretarial role for some barristers.

      Barristers (in Qld at least) are often easier to work for, because they like to hire law students because you understand it somewhat, and you aren’t too expensive compared to a legal secretary with 5+ years experience. Because barristers are usually self employed, they like to save $$ where they can!

      Also, try for roles within an insurance company, like as a claims officer or something. That will give you a leg up for any in house roles once you graduate or alternatively, give you a leg up into insurance law!

      I was in the same position as you! I worried so much about finding a job. I didn’t go to a GPS school in Brisbane like so many I competed against, I didn’t have a stellar GPA and I had very little experience in law, but I ended up finding a job! Your first job is just a foot in the door, it doesn’t matter what is is or who it is with, it’s experience!!

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        El Belle

        Ahh thank you so much! How kind of you to give advice when you will never meet me. After a day of hearing legal recruiters saying “we have to turn away law students in droves” a bit of thinking outside the square is great.
        I’ll add some more Admin categories to my searches on seek and see how I go.. just have to find the belief that there will be a job in the end!

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          Whippersnapper

          No worries I know how you feel! Try reception, junior accounts or office junior roles as well! Good luck :)

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            Natski

            It can be a bit of a long shot, but provided that you can get a job in a firm doing something, getting in the back door can lead to proper legal work. Example: I used to be a legal support recruiter (most soul-detroying job ever) in Sydney and one of my favourite clients, a mid-tier firm wanted someone for the mailroom. HR said to me “Give me a law student because they want to get a leg up and once one of the partners hears that the candidate is studying law, and likes them, they will be a shoe-in for PLTand then a graduate position.’ I found them a lovely second year student, he went temp-to-perm, did mailroom for six months, and then started paralegal work. He got his foot in the door and because his attitude and work ethic was excellent, he went on to bigger and better things.
            Also, discovery paralegal roles can be a super way to check out the top-tier firms if that is your bag. Often they will take graduates or those about to finish, often with little legal experience. You just have to keep trying unfortunately. It may take some months to get anywhere, but it will happen. Please don’t be disheartened!

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    Cordeline

    OMM…

    1. Zumba! Did my first class on the weekend and have done another 2 since. It is, without a doubt, the funniest form of exercise I have ever done. Oh, and bloody exhausting! I need to work on quite a few of my moves though. I used to be quite the groover and now realise I have taken on daggy-mummy-dancing. Shriek! And it doesn’t help that the instructors are groovy and talented enough to be on So You Think You Can Dance. Still, everyone is so busy concentrating on their own moves you don’t have a second to look at anyone else and whether they might be as bad at Zumba as you might be!

    2. Mamamia office attire stress – do you all feel stressed about what you are going to wear to work each day? And whether it will be good enough to be photographed and labelled? Have to say though, love your Gorman clothes Lucy – very Melbourne :-)

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      Kris2040

      I tried Step for a while, and that was hilarious. I used to go up the back and just end up pissing myself laughing at my un-co attempts at it. Not keen on Zumba though.

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        Cordeline

        I haven’t done Step since the 90′s! I wasn’t keen on Zumba at all Kris, but I am on the bandwagon now. The music and some of the crazy moves just crack me up. Apart from the tough work-out, it has me laughing so much.

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          Susan As Well

          Zumba sounds like fun … I think I might have to give it a go. Am getting a bit bored with current activities.

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        Emmeline

        Hey Kris, what does your fitness have to be like to do Step? I’ve bought a 10 pass at the Gym and am trying all the different classes to see what I like. Have so far done Body Attack (loved it), Body Combat (was ok) and Body Balance (bit slow). Am psyching myself up to go to Body Pump tomorrow morning but I’m scared because my friend can’t come with me and I’ve never done it before.

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          Kris2040

          Pump is my favourite of all the Les Mills classes. Step I did years ago, but like Cordeline said about Zumba, you’re either pissing yourself laughing at your hopelessness or concentrating really hard on what you’re supposed to be doing, so I don’t really think fitness would be such an issue.
          Don’t be scared of Pump. It’s really easy to master – try to go to the “tech” classes – they usually have a tech class for Step and one for Pump at least once a week at gyms that run it. That way you can see how you go with weights for each part of the body and ask questions. Same with step – from memory I think they’ll start you either just on the floor or on the step with no risers.
          I’m chomping at the bit to get into working out at the uni gym – might have to revisit Step and definitely Pump!

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            Anon

            I have to say, Zumba is my favourite form of excercise! Yes you can feel a bit unco, but I always feel so good at the end. Not being a gym person I wanted another sort of excercise option and can’t recommend it enough!

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          Laura

          I just started pump by myself as well- best advice i can give is use light weights! The reps kill you!!

          also i would highly recommend RPM if your gym offers it. Amazing workout

          Have fun!

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    monique

    OMM: Valentines Day was pretty crappy, BUT my beautiful friend gave birth to her son, Lucas James, yesterday which definitely brightened my day and got me through it. I can guarantee I would have fallen apart otherwise. I went to see him today and got plenty of cuddles, he was a whopping 10 pound but is still so tiny.

    I still missed him a lot yesterday. I naively hoped that I might hear from him at some point. I didn’t. I didn’t expect to, but I still felt a twinge of sadness anyway. And when Lucas was born and I saw him today and gave him cuddles and took pictures, it was so hard to not message him about it. I feel ridiculous, but for over 3 years I told him everything so it’s weird having major events occur and not telling him. All just part of the learning curve I suspect.

    But yeah, not asking for sympathy or anything, just getting stuff off my chest.

    I love the innocence of babies. It makes me happy.

    http://moniquefischle.wordpress.com/

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      Bunny

      That is a great photo, Monique! You are both very cute :-)

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      Louisec

      What a beautiful photo!!!! Monique, it’s so normal to feel like that, a huge part of your life has changed.

      You shouldn’t feel ridiculous at all, you’re so not. You’re just going through the process, the horrible process.

      But yr in good company here, most of us have been thru this and survived and many have gone on to much better things. Pls dont’ feel silly for how you’re feeling, it’s totally normal. Best wishes xxsx

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      b

      So cute, congratulations to your friend and to you! Love that name too – my current favourite baby name is Luca James, very close!

      I agree on the messaging thing – you get so used to being in touch about everything, especially the big happenings, that it’s hard not to automatically reach for the phone. You’re awesome for getting through Valentine’s Day and the happy arrival without talking to him!!

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      Gracie

      Great pic Monique!!

      You’re sounding stronger each time you post :)

      You’ll get there in the end lady. Just remember to love yourself!

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      Pumpkin

      You are gorgeous Monique -it is only a matter of time before the right guy ends up in your life. But in the meantime *hugs*

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      eternally

      You look gorgeous and happy Monique, wonderful to see. Xx

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      Susan As Well

      Oh you look so beautiful! So glad you’re enjoying the baby love.

      Who needs that ratty old boyfriend when you got that handsome little fella in your life now xo

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    Oopsyboops

    OMM: Feeling alot better today after a hard weekend. I spent all of Monday thinking that my brain was literally oozing out of my ears but a trip to the specialist reassured me it wasn’t. Just a bit annoyed at myself that my little mini-freakout happened in front of the MIL.

    OMM: all of your terrible ergnomic practices!! Laptops flat on desks! tut tut. The therapist in me is appalled. Of course, I could come in and do some workplace assessments for you all tee hee. (no seriously, I could, I’m still registered) :)

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      xanthe

      Oh, I am so glad you posted, Oopsyboops – I have been thinking of you all weekend and for the last couple of days, wondering how you were faring. It’s a bugger, having that treatment. I’m very glad that you are well enough at least to keep the contact here…
      xoxo

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        Oopsyboops

        Oh thanks for thinking of me. Right now the virus has knocked me more than the treatment, but I’m on tenterhooks waiting for all the side effects to kick in (about week 2 I gather so thats in a week). Also keep waiting for my hair to fall out (just in spots where the radiation was) which is all very vain but still. I hate this waiting to feel sick so I am trying really really hard to just get on with things.

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          xanthe

          It’s awful when you don’t KNOW!
          Find a cancer support group in your area (ring 13 11 20) – it’s really worth it for the caring and friendship you get.
          I wish I could be there with you (wherever “there” is) but a support group is a fantastic, boost, I found.
          Get your hair cut if it’s long, that way it won’t be such a big deal when it falls out – not vain at all, I find that most of us women seem to define ourselves by our hair. Shallow, and vain, yes, but we just DO.
          Hang in there, some parts of the journey are pretty rough but you might be one of the lucky ones that sail through it all!
          Best…
          xoxo

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            Oopsyboops

            Thankyou so much Xanthe, you sound like you have been there, done that! :) I have made a few first steps to contact groups then I chicken out. :)

            I feel great today. I even went to teh gym and did 45 mins on the crosstrainer. I hope I haven’t overdone it though. One day at a time!

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      eternally

      You are entitled to a mini-freak out, I hope your MIL was appropriately understanding.
      I’m guilty of the laptop on desk thing too, but right now it’s iPad on pillow while feeding baby!

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      rainbow

      be easy on yourself. anyone around you is hopefully allowing you a greatly increased quota of meltdowns. it might be good for your MIL to see you like that, people sometimes need to see vulnerability xx

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      Natalia

      Uh oh. Forgive my ignorance – what’s wrong with laptops flat on desks?

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        Oopsyboops

        When you have a laptop on the desk, the screen is lower (than if it is raised) so you are bending your neck to look at the screen. You also tend to hunch your shoulders. This increases the muscle loading (called static loading) on a few specific muscle groups leading to a greater chance of injury. You might think you are fine, but if you have neck pain, headaches, shoulder pain or tightness, or even a tingling feeling in your shoulders and neck then you are at risk of developing a serious musculoskeletal injury. Ideally you should treat a laptop like a desktop – get an external mouse and keyboard and raise it up (on a proper stand or even the phone books). Laptops aren’t designed for prolonged use. After 20 mins in a hunched position your muscles can fatigue, after an hour your risk of injury increases. Taking frequent breaks and doing stretches can help.

        HTH :)

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    Kerr

    OMM, I am 36 weeks pregnant and would just so love to have the baby now. My friend just had her baby 2 weeks early and I’m so jealous! I went 2 weeks over last time so I probably still have another 6 weeks… All is well though, so not really complaining.

    The other thing is that my nearly 2 year old has stopped sleeping. In the day, and the night. I am totally exhausted and a bit scared about what I’m going to do in 4 (6) weeks.

    I am so excited about the baby though, so can’t wait to meet it and really looking forward to the whole birthing process too. I had a caesarean after being induced last time so hoping to actually have a labour and natural birth this time around, wish me luck!

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      Eternally

      Good luck!
      Sleep deprevation sucks, I hope your toddler settles down soon.

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      hayley mumof 3.5

      im 38.3 weeks pregnant and over it, just want to go into labour!!!!!! my friend had a bub in january and he was 11 days early. i worked out the very longest that i would be pregnant for was the 12th of march if i go overdue by the full 2 weeks and that is just depressing! my first was 4 days early, 2nd was 4 days over and my last one was 1 full week. my husband goes away for 80days basic military training on the 2nd of april so i just want to have the baby so he can finish his old job and spend some time with me and the boys and his soon to be born baby daughter before he goes away. i think i would actually be laughing if i went into labour despite the pain. how horribly cruel is this, yesterday afternoon i felt all achy and tight and i thought maybe just maybe, i read my horiscope and it actually said “the pains you have been feeling will turn out to be nothing at all, its just from over exertion from exercise you have been doing” ! yes im having a whinge, sorry to be the whingy person but i sympathise completly!

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        Kerr

        Lol, thanks! Fingers crossed for both of us, I know what you mean about wanting the pain, I keep questioning every Braxton hicks….

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      missneriss

      I’m with you. Get this baby out of me right now! I was so prepared for an early birth as it was a likely side affect of surgery I had earlier in the pregnancy and now I’m overdue! Only by a few days, but this is more mentally draining than any part of the pregnancy so far! One of my friends gave birth on Monday, and although I was over the moon for her, I had a selfish little cry, wishing it had been me.

      Good luck, sending you all the vibes I can spare X

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    Lottie

    OMM: 4WDs. It seems everyone has one now. I, however, don’t have one and freak out every time I have to back out of a park, between two big cars, when I can’t see what I am backing out into because of said massive cars. So, basically, I am backing my kids into potential traffic. What the hell can I do about this, apart from get a matching 4WD? Anyone?

    Also, since when is it OK for my Mother to give me marriage counselling? OMG! The irony! This morning she tells me I am intolerant, when she has NO IDEA what I am actually tolerating every single day. I can’t believe she thinks she knows me and my situation, when she has no idea. Never has. So disappointing.

    Over and out!

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      ashamasha

      oh I wish I knew the answer to the parking thing too! sucks! and what’s even worse, it’s your fault if they run into you when you’re coming out of the space, because you’re supposed to check it’s clear – no flexibility for the 4WD issue

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      E

      Could you back into car parks where possible so you can drive out of them? :-)

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        Lottie

        OMG Brilliant! Thank-you. Love a bit of lateral thinking. Just wish I did a bit of it sometimes!
        Now, can you solve my Mother issue too please? :)

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          E

          I certainly can….if you can resolve my mother-in-law issue in return ;-)

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            Lottie

            MIL? No problem. Just put 3000km between you and her. Works for us ;)

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        ashamasha

        hmm don’t think it would help me – I’m hopeles at reversing into paking spots, and I have a little hatch, so even facing the other way I still can’t see properly….

        I just realised what I need! one of those orange bike flags! but retractable – it could come out the back so it would stick out behind the car before I start reversing, so other cars can see! reverse out, then retract the flag back into the roof!

        hahahaha :D

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    erinsy

    hi all,
    omm this week (and you now, for like 3 years)…. how long is too long to still have feelings for an ex?
    i guess she was my first love, and while it was a fairly tumultuous relationship, we really did love each other. and i think that if we met now we’d be alot better together, more mature, happier in ourselves, more secure…
    i know i shouldnt live in the past and wish for something that i dont think is possible, but i cant just turn off my feelings you know? anyhoo, some advice on moving on would be great, i just miss her, and love her.
    sigh, i realise this is very much a first world problem, but still im indulging

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      Cait

      Il admit I still had feelings for my ex, even though i had just left his replacement 3 years later. For me, I think i just had rose coloured glasses which gently overlooked the catastrophic arguments and dramas we had.

      I only woke up to myself when i told my best friend about the feelings, and she casually reminded me that while he and I are both good people, we are explosive together.

      I think its normal to have those feelings, but there is a reason you broke up. That reason will probably (there are some exceptions to the rule) be there if you went back to your ex.

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        erinsy

        yea, i guess. the reason we broke up was her insecurity about her sexuality, her parents are very religious and shes an only child, i guess sleeping with chicks wasnt part of the plan… also in part due to my depression ( i am in a totally different place now) and her ex who is now in london….
        i realise it sounds like im justifying the breakup and i guess i am its just super frustrating to feel this way and not be able to do anything about it! grrr…

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      Joey

      For me it has been 5 years.
      He has a long term partner as do I.
      I know if we were both single we would be great together (again). As much as I dislike the term, we are basically ‘soul mates’.

      I still love him. I always will.
      I know he feels the same, although it has been many years since we have said this to each other.

      We don’t contact each other often any more. Now maybe just once or twice a year. He lives in another country so no chance of bumping in to him. This helps big time I think.

      If something makes me think of him I acknowledge the thought but try not to dwell on it. I don’t listen to music that will remind me of when we were together. I have kept photos and things, gifts he gave me, but I don’t use them to torture myself, I very rarey look at them.

      I respect the fact that we both now have different lives and are with other people we love.

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    Louisec

    HI everyone, a small group of us are donating baby and childrens items – clothes, toys, books etc to some very in need children at DOCS Ballina NSW.

    DOCS Ballina barely have any budget and they deal with hundreds of children in the area – the children of drug addicts, alcoholics, the intellectually disabled, financially troubled: children who have nothing.

    There are little girls and boys who turn up in the clothes they’re in and nothing more, and others again who go to hospital by themselves and with no one to visit them and not even a single book or toy.

    So if you have any items clothes that your kids have outgrown, toys, books etc and would like to donate them we’d be thrilled! I’m in Sydney so you would need to be in this region. My email is Loumelc@hotmail.com

    Louise

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      Eternally

      I’m not in the area, and my little girl is still little, but I just wanted to say what a great idea, well done!

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        Louisec

        Thank you! We are very excited about doing this and hopefully it will be an ongoing project which can help DOCS in other regions too.

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    Susan

    Is it wrong that I think that “wardbrobe week” is kind of big-headed, shallow idea?

    Ditto the whole plethora of websites that are based on that concept… “This is what I wore out to brunch!”…

    I love me some well-constructed outfit action… but geez… If I had a dollar for every commenter on the internet who said “You look hot!” “Hawt!” etc, etc….
    It would make an awesome montage of those comments!

    Sorry but YAWN!

    Maybe there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m starting to think there is something pathological about me- Geez, I pretty much spent all of Valentine’s day mockking everything about everybody…. My bad.

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    JellyBelly

    Need help ladies. I need a double pram/stroller, something quite lightweight and easy to use. It’s really only going to be used for kinder pick ups and drop offs. Would prefer side by side pram under $300. I’m in Melbourne, so if anyone is selling their pram, let me know.

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      JellyBelly

      Hope I’m not breaking any rules with my above comment.

      Also OMM, I think I’m seriously addicted to caramel popcorn. I made a batch this morning and there’s not much left.

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      detachableprincess

      Check BigW, either instore or online. I got a side-by-side twin stroller for about $275 I think. Seperate baskets, 3 handles (good for hanging stuff off, rather than one long handlebar). Delivery might cost extra or you could do what I did and, at 7 months pregnant, politely ask a random dad in the baby section to help me lift it into a trolley! :)

      You know how you can get the ‘umbrella’ style single strollers for like $25? I have seen a double-umbrella, for roughly $65.

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        Sneet

        Parcel Pick Up!!
        Big W have it, so does Myer
        Just ask one of the shop assistants to help you get it to the checkout and then you pay for it and have it sent to parcel pickup. Then you drive around to the pick up point and the storeman will put it in your car.
        Love it!!!

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        JellyBelly

        Thanks DP! An umbrella style double stroller is perfect. But I’ve seen plenty of single ones at the shops near me but no doubles, oh well I’ll just keep an eye out for them.

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          Lynelle

          I had a double pram given to me years ago so I paid it forward to a mum at school but saw not long after she threw it out on her nature strip – I was disappointed it wasn’t well cared for and passed along again.

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      Miss Jane

      a little while ago i saw a double (side by side) umbrella style pram at Target and am pretty sure that it was well under $300.

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      Anonymous

      Toys r us has just started their big sale of baby stuff and I saw side by side strollers their yesterday :)

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    Not sure what to call myself

    A question for any mums who’ve had c-sections…

    I gave birth by emergency c-section 4 months ago and I still find I have pains in my “stomach area” (totally un-medical term to describe everything near the belly button and below). Strangely, the pain is not above my incision (that area is still totally numb) but more above my hip bones, particularly above the left one. Sometimes it feels like my skin is sunburnt, but I know it’s not. Other times, like now, my lower abdominal muscles hurt, particularly when tensed. And then occasionally I’ll just feel random stabbing pains here and there. None of the pain is intense, but it’s just “there” and it kind of bugs me. I’m worried something is wrong and, in my typically anxious manner, have jumped a million miles ahead by worrying about permanent damage to my uterus etc.

    I know an Internet forum is not a substitute for medical advice, but I’m just curious if any of you who’ve had c-sections felt pains for quite some time after the procedure. If so, how long until they went away? 

    I will go to the doctor, don’t worry! I just thought I’d ask about your experiences in the interim. 

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      rudyroo

      I wouldn’t worry yet.
      It’s likely related to the nerve damage from the incision.
      I know mine was tender (for want of a better word…touchy?prickly?sore) for quite some time…like about 12 months or so after the c/s. And for a long long time it was uncomfortable to wear jeans/tight clothes due to the sensation and numbness.
      Just run it by your doc though, just to be sure.

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      reader

      I have had 3 c sections and never had any of the pains you have discribed.
      Call your Ob/Gyn.

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      Miss Jane

      mine was tender for at least 4 months after my c-section and things felt weird as the sensation came back in areas. Rudyroos description of the feeling is exactly the same for me.
      everyone one is different though, so i wouldn’t put off going to the doctor.

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      Kerr

      It took me about a year to go completely back to normal, my tummy was numb until then. Saying that, I’d totally go to the Dr. So much better to have it checked and have you feeling better than worrying about it or something actually being wrong.

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      Oopsyboops

      Mine felt wierd/sore for ages. The burning sensation is probably cut nerves. A visit to a physio may help as they can have a look at your muscles and give you some exercises to strenghten the area. But if you are really worried, don’t hesitate to call your OB

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      Loulee

      My friend was in a similar situation to you and it was a hernia which she had to have a surgery for. Check with your doctor. She’s fine now.

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      Lu

      Did your stomach muscles separate a lot? It could be related to that….thats my guess.

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    Nicola M

    Lets not forget my delish chocolate fudge cake!!!

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    Rach

    We don’t really have nicknames. In fact, we aren’t all that romantic. :)

    OMM: I recently found out that as we are both Australian and overseas on a temporary study visa (meaning we have to return to Australia – our visa doesn’t allow for a conversion or extension) we are eligible for the baby bonus even if the child is born overseas…MEANING we can start TTC soon! Since I am not committed to a degree, we figured that since I am getting older and also more broody by the day, we should make use of the fact that I’m not working now.

    Just a bit excited!! Maternal urges have been ruling many of my waking thoughts these days, and I’m almost starting to think I’m going crazy with it…but maybe it’s just time.

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    Bird

    Love all the beautiful shoes – I wouldn’t be able to walk in them. Georgie’s shoes are beautiful too! I love the Witchery sandals. Hope Bec is doing well with her new baby – as lovely as it is to have a newborn, it is tough at the start!! Very happy for her and her family.

    Thank you to a few of you who asked me how I was during this past week.

    OMM: My husband as a second counseling session later this week. We’ve been getting along quite pleasantly, but of course things aren’t ‘right’. I’ve been writing my thoughts down and I wonder if I should type them up (yes, I still hand-write! :) and email them to him, as it’s hard to bring them up face to face. These thoughts are quite random and aren’t accusatory in any way – they are just about how I feel and what I would like to see happen, stuff like that. Do you think I should share these thoughts or leave them for the time being?

    Has anyone been to couples counseling? How does it work? Also, has anyone been to ‘intimacy’ counseling? I wonder if he/we work on our relationship and learn to relax with each other and enjoy each other again, the intimacy will naturally come. Counseling is new to me, so any description would be handy. Has anyone used the government’s Interrelate service?

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      Cait

      I have been to couples counselling. My partner and I have done a few sessions about trust and fidelity since he cheated on me early last year (but i found out by chance, not confession). Its a long story.

      Anyway, The counselling we went to comprised of the 3 of us sitting in a room, and the counsellor asked what had brought us here etc. Its basically a forum where there is free reign to speak about how you feel etc. If your husband is particularly gruff or blokey, the counsellor has methods to get him to speak up, and to ‘unpack’ what hes saying.

      After each session, the counsellor gave us things to work on between our selves – exercises on trust etc for example.

      The first session made a huge difference, but we definitely needed the follow ups to further our healing.

      One thing I will say, is that counselling scared the bejeezus out of my man, until after our first session. I think he genuniely thought the counsellor was going to tear him a new one.

      It was definitely worth every cent, and every moment that we were there :)

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        Cait

        Also, on the topic of writing things down – I did it. It was so cathartic, and it helped so much when I was having trouble dealing with my own thoughts.

        I told my man not to read them, but he knows exactly what book they were written in, and where they were kept. My writing was full of blame and anger at times, but he was nothing short of deserving at the time! I also occasionally would type an angry letter to him, which i would print and shred before he could read it.

        I do strongly recommend writing your thoughts somewhere, just to get them off your chest.

        best of luck with it!

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      gypsy

      Oh I’m an old hand at therapy! My husband and I have (in about 10 years) had two “groups” of therapy. The first time I was positively sick before going – I thought it would be excrutiating to hear my husband describe all the things that makes him unhappy. Our first go at therapy was at a time where he was in a pretty bad place and was quite depressed. I was worried that I was the reason for his depression. Anyway, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought and the therapist was very good at ensuring things didn’t get out of hand or too emotional. A GOOD therapist will ensure that everything said is productive and about moving forward. I also kept a bit of a diary – just so I could ensure that I was able to clearly convey my thoughts and not walk out of an (expensive) therapy session and regret that I forgot to say something. This helped immensely.
      The thing is you have to kind of go in to a therapy session and be really prepared to hear things that you aren’t going to like and understand that it will ultimately help you. You don’t go to therapy to compliment each other and talk about all the good stuff. (Though this sometimes happens). In 10 years we have used therapy a couple of times to get through some difficult periods and in both situations whilst it has been hard and emotional we’ve established just how important our marriage is. We are just one of those couples that do have to work at having a good marriage and the therapy has just been a part of that. We haven’t been in a few years and so far don’t envisage a need anytime soon!
      Personally, we went down the private practice road as opposed to the government agency. I had no experience with the government organisations but I just had a feeling that we would be just “another case”. It was expensive but it was a worthy investment.
      Good luck Bird.

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      Susan

      Couple’s counselling generally works best if:

      You get the right person to help you.
      You are both equally committed to the process.
      There is no absolutely no abuse or Domestic Violence in the relationship…

      That’s just what I’ve learnt thru training of done on it.

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      Louisec

      Hey Bird, my ex and I went to couples councelling at Relationships
      Australia and it was fantastic. The councellor saw us together and both of us on our own. RA is an excellent organisation but like all councellors you have to find one that’s right for you.

      I think you need support yourself, and you could run thru this list with that person first.

      My ex really valued the councelling, it was great for him.

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      Bird

      Thanks for your replies and sharing your counseling experiences. Hopefully we will find someone we feel comfortable with, and how is pro-reconnecting.

      I just want my relaxed husband back – the one who used to cuddle me, spoon me while sleeping, try and warm his cold feet against my warm ones, and who would give me a friendly pat on my tush!

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        rainbow

        your husband’s counsellor might be able to recommend someone, he/she will soon know who would suit him, and then hopefully you.

        one thing i have heard people say, is that where there WAS love there can ALWAYS be love. so basically if you had it you can get it back. it sure sounds like you had it xxx

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    chelsjo

    Need Sydney-siders help please :)

    Booked a trip to Sydney this week for early July and am wanting to know what does the beautiful city of Sydney get up to in July? Does any events in particular happen? Anything special that should be done during the winter? What the weather like?

    This will be my fourth trip to the city (but my friend’s first) but have only ever visited during the spring and summer.

    Thanks :)

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      Just a girl

      check out http://www.sydney.com

      It has sections on all parts of Sydney and special events etc.

      July is cold and often a bit rainy, but I think beautiful anyway. Still well worth spending some time on a ferry taking in the view: you can get an inner harbour ticket relatively inexpensively. Depending on how long you are around for, it is worth going up to the blue mountains too. It gets properly cold, but where better to drink hot chocolate in front of an open fire?

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      Loulee

      I agree about getting out on the harbour. You can sit inside if it is cold. The view out on the harbour is so special. Walking through Hyde Park, the Botanical Gardens or the Rocks is a lovely thing to do at any time of year. Or walk around Circular Quay to the Opera House and have a drink or a coffee by the harbour. If it is cold find a nice place with an open fire like the historic Lord Nelson pub in the Rocks. And of course shopping is great in winter or anytime for that matter!

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      elli

      Check out the Powerhouse Museum, Art Gallery of NSW, Opera House and Wharf Theatre websites – they might have an exhibition on that you’ll want to see. Also look up the Historic Houses Trust, lots of lovely places to see, which often have events on.

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    Deli

    I’m pregnant and terrified. This was not planned.

    My partner has told me on several occassions that he does not want children EVER. While I had always wanted kids, it was a compromise I was willing to make as I want to spend my life with him.

    Now, I don’t know what to do or how to tell him.

    So now I am turning to the most intelligent, experienced, kind and understanding women I *know*- the MM Community and asking for your thoughts :s

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      Laura

      Oh deli I feel for you. I think you have to definitely tell him- if it’s an unplanned pregnancy it’s not something that you could have stopped!!! You need to talk to him, and work through it together. Once faced with the reality he might have a diff opinion on kids- but u won’t know until u talk. Good luck!

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      cinnamon

      Deli, I’m just curious were you using birth control? I think you need to talk to your partner and together figure out what you want to do. Don’t stress out, just communicate!

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      Cait

      Ok so if it was me, I would tell him.

      I would tell him that I have decided I want this baby, and respect that he might not feel the same. Then I would tell him that in the next few weeks he is entitled to decide if this child is going to be a dealbreaker for him or not.

      I have a sneaking suspicion that *most* men, even the more vehemently opposed ones, would come around to the idea of fatherhood when its presented so matter of factly.

      Did he know you have compromised your parenting wishes to be with him originally? Do you still think you would choose him over the child?

      Im only asking because realistically, you are probably best knowing where you stand in your own mind, before you ask him to choose where he stands.

      best of luck with it all though :) xx

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      JellyBelly

      I would tell him, especially if you want the baby. Are you terrified about being pregnant or losing him?
      On a side note, if he was adamant he didn’t want children, did he get the snip?

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      Kylie2

      Deli, it’s going to be hard but I think you need to tell him sooner rather than later. He’ll be more upset in the long run if he thinks you’ve hidden it from him and he is probably aware that something is bothering you.

      Remember that you don’t have to resolve everything in the one conversation. Give him the news and some time to process it. You can talk about options later.

      Good luck

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      elle

      I imagine it would be very scary! Do you want to have kids and the only reason you wouldn’t is because he doesn’t? Because it seems if you terminate the pregnancy for him maybe you will then have resentment towards him which will affect your relationship. Anyway these things are always worse in our heads and he may react much better than you expect. Good luck :)

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      LaLa

      I’ve been there, and it’s hard.

      I don’t like giving advice but I will say..

      1) You have to decide how you feel about this pregnancy before you tell him. Once you know what you want you can properly discuss it with him.

      2) Know your options. Feel what your comfortable with.

      3) After you tell him, let it settle. Try not to engage in long winded arguments, or fights initially. Discuss it later. Give him space to think about it.

      4) It’s true that he may be shocked by this news, and may not be what he “wanted”. But he does not control your decision, nor is he exempt from being there for you, and supporting you.

      Hope I helped a little.

      All the best!

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      Loulee

      Oh Deli. Poor Deli. I am sure you are terrified. But as everyone else has said you have to discuss this with him as soon as possible. In your heart you must know what you want and I hope that your heart and your partner’s heart are on the same page about this.

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      rainbow

      you HAVE to tell him. he may walk away if you decide to continue the pregnancy which is what i am guessing you want to do.

      tell him your plans, then say you will give him space to decide what he wants to do.

      he may be angry if he thought you were well protected but be well armed with stats as to how it CAN just happen. this is his problem too as he did engage in a sexual relationship of which pregnancy can be a side effect. remind him of that is he is angry.

      all the best

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    Chookie

    My hubby gets baby, babe, honey, sweetheart, darling… pretty much everything except his actual name!

    Re: social media – I’m committing to FB for now. Just find all the others a bit bewildering.

    OMM: my friend’s husband just got diagnosed with bowel cancer, with inoperable secondaries on the liver. They have 3 kids under 5, including a 3 month old bub. So of course the doctors are going to hit it hard with chemo to see if it will shrink the liver tumours to the point they can operate to remove them – if this doesn’t happen all they can do is buy time. So devastating on so many levels. I’m trying to be there for her as much as I can, and to offer practical help but so far she’s been all “I’m alright, I’m under control” (yep, think she’s in the ‘denial’ stage). Any ideas on what I can do (in my VERY limited spare time) would be great!

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      kirstys

      Drop off some meals that can be frozen for when she’s too busy to cook. Alternatively, some fruit and veg, snacks for the kids and a pack of nappies would probably be appreciated as well. If they have prepaid phones and you know which carrier then phone credit is handy. Of course, someone rocking up and saying “Point me at your ironing pile” or “I’ve brought my cleaning stuff along and I’m doing your bathrooms today” probably wouldn’t be sent away either.

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      Em

      My Aunt went through the same thing a few years ago (luckily my Uncle survived the chemo and is now well into his recovery). I found that in the early stages it’s better to just allow them to get on with life as normally as possible. There will come a time when the wall is hit and that’s when you should offer a helping hand, but for now just offer your support and tell her you are there to talk whenever she needs it.

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      JellyBelly

      Very sad about your friend’s husband. I think with 3 kids under 5, dinners and snacks will definitely be appreciated. Also help with the washing would be good. I find with 3 small kids if I don’t do a load a day, it just piles up. Also someone doing the grocery shopping, kinder, school drop off/pick ups might help. Or having the two older kids for a play date etc

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        chookie

        Thanks ladies.

        She actually admitted to perhaps not looking after herself in the meals department so I’d already had the food idea, and have asked her for some guidelines on what hubby can eat (he’s on a special diet) and anything she doesn’t like. I’m then planning to get an email out to our mutual network to drum up some extra volunteers. I hope we can keep her freezer full and at least remove the stress of cooking.

        So far she’s not been keen on the playdate idea, but I think that’s a matter of time as Em suggested. I think I need to remember that they’re in this for the long haul, and I don’t need to do everything in week 1.

        Thanks again for your input.

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      kathl29

      I am going through your friends situation as my husband was diagnosed 6 months ago with a terminal brain tumour and we have a 6 1/2 year old and an 8 week old.

      In the initial stages I told everyone I was ok as well – it is a coping mechanism as you get used to the initial diagnosis and your brain is saying ‘we are not going to let this affect us’. This stage can last a few months but at some point she will need help.

      Many people only offer assistance in the first couple of months but I found it was actually about 4 months in I needed assistance when the constant rounds of chemo and hospital appointments took its toll on the family. At this point you find out who your real friends are as they are the ones who have stuck around to this point. Believe it or not you lose a lot of friends who are unable to cope with the diagnosis or the fact the person may die.

      Be careful about making meals and taking them round – my husband was put on a strict diet due to the chemo drugs so couldn’t eat a lot of the meals. Chemo also affects taste buds and so can limit what foods you actually want to eat. When my husband is on chemo he is also very badly affected by the smells of hot food and so we eat a lot of cold meals at this time.

      I found people buying us groceries was best – particularly stuff for the kids for school lunches or to take as snacks when other people are looking after them. People were really happy to do this as they have to go shopping anyway and it is easier to grab a few things eg bags of pasta, boxes of cereal (chemo patients tend to find they can eat cereal quite easily), toilet rolls etc than to have to make a meal for someone. Frozen meals can also take up loads of room in the freezer which they may not have available.

      Other ways to help is with transport eg taking them to the hospital and back, offering to stay with the patient at home (eg have a coffee with them) so your friend can get half an hour to herself to get a hair cut, some time out – it is a huge strain on the family as well as the patient.

      Take the older kids to the park or the swimming pool to give them a break for a couple of hours.

      The biggest thing you can do is listen to them. We found that people would give us their opinion on treatment and ‘alternative’ cures. We have a doctor to discuss treatment options we didn’t need friends to do that for us and we then had to explain why we weren’t using their suggestion which is very tiring. We needed people to support the choices that we had made. Again in relation to the children people will tell your friend what she should tell the children – it is their decision along with the medical support they will get as to how much to tell the kids. Again back them up in that decision and if you are looking after the kids find out how much they know so you are on the same page.

      Hope this helps.

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        Chookie

        Thanks so much for your help Kath, and I’m SO sorry for what you’re going through.

        You must have posted this while I was typing my response above. I think I’m somewhat on the right track, although thanks so much for your input re: the food side of things. Good to keep in mind. He has to recover from an op to resect the bowel before he can start chemo so think I’ll do the food thing (bearing in mind his dietary requirements) until she tells us otherwise. I think having some sort of roster will help overcome the ‘no room in the freezer’ problem.

        I can sort of see how some people wouldn’t be able to cope (there’s a part of me that absolutely freaks out at the fact that he might die… but I think if that’s how I feel, how must it be for her?!) I think for some people (me included) it is really hard to know what to say sometimes. Everything feels like a horrible cliche… but I know she needs me to be there for her so I am sucking up my awkwardness, and have found once you get past the initial bits it actually gets easier.

        Also I totally hear you in regard to the listening. I know people get a bit evangelical about ‘this thing they heard of that worked for someone else’ but it must be really annoying when you’ve already looked at every possible option and chosen the path that’s right for you. I’ve already heard some of that going on, even though he’s not yet met with the oncologist!

        Thanks again, and best wishes to you xo

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    Loulee

    I call my husband JD. Short for Johnny Darling. Or darling. Actually I call lots of family darling and my children I call my darling, puppy, muppets, mooch, bear…

    The kids and I call each other poopyhead if we want to be really naughty! And my husband calls himself “The Shorts Police” as our 13 year old has taken to wearing really short shorts.

    Liking all the MM office fashions. Lana has a great style. My kind of look. Go Lana. And I like Mia’s Aldo shoes as I have some bling sandals from Aldo and was pleased to see that Kelly Osborne on Fashion Police was wearing Aldo shoes. So I’m feeling really trendy with my Aldo sandals.

    OMM the story in the news about the 8 year old boy killed by a car outside his school. His mum tried CPR. So tragic. That’s a heartbreaking image. I am a parking and traffic Nazi at my son’s primary school. I cannot understand why parents continue to put children’s lives at risk by parking in a no parking drop off zone, double parking, speeding etc. Just walk a few extra metres and park around the damn corner you lazy selfish people.

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    Mizzy

    OMM: What is resignation letter etiquette?

    I’ve been offered a new job and one my uni timetable confirms I can work the days they need me I want to hand in my resignation letter immediately.

    I work at my local supermarket, I’m only a casual but trained as a manager for two different departments and thus they rely on me heavily to work nights and weekends.

    As a casual I don’t have to give any notice but I’d like to, how much notice do you think? Do I hand it to the store manager or the customer service manager that sees over my job? How detailed are resignation letters? Any advice?

    I really hope my uni timetable works out, this place treated me like shit and just the thought of handing in my resignation letter makes me giddy and light headed.

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      whippersnapper

      Depends on your contract Mizzy. I would be courteous and give 2 weeks notice despite their treatment of you.

      You should just do a short letter saying that you are resigning, effective immediately and your last day of work will be XXX date 2012. Put some short line in there about thanking them for the opportunities provided (even if you hate them, I still did it, and I HATED my last firm). Give it to your store manager and just tell them you are resigning and here is a formal resignation letter.

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      Loulee

      Well if they treated you like shit I’d say stop worrying about any of this. Just a short few lines to your boss and maybe a week or if you can manage two week’s notice? As you say you are a casual so really you could just leave straight away. Depends if you need a letter of reference from them? You sound like a very responsible and conscientious young person so I am sure they will be sorry to see you go. Good luck with the new job!

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        Mizzy

        I worked there for five and a half years Loulee and went onto to become manager of two departments. I don’t know if the reference will be too useful for my future career but it definitely won’t go astray! I guess my future employer could see me as loyal or something. :)

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      elli

      How much time would your boss need to find someone to temporarily cover your shifts? A week or two? I’d give that much notice.

      Hand it in to the person you report to (the customer service manager); he’ll take it to the store manager if he needs to.

      You don’t need to be at all detailed in your resignation letter. They don’t even need to know why you’re leaving if you don’t want to tell them. Just string together a while lot of cliches like “regretfully advise”, “moving onto new challenges” and “it’s been a pleasure” and the date of your last shift.

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        Mizzy

        I go back to uni on the 27th so I thought I’d work until them just for some extra money which should definitely be enough time.

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      MissT

      I’ve always given two weeks, here is what I’ve usually written:

      To Whom it May Concern,

      As of *date of letter*, I tender my resignation as *job title* at *company name.

      I am providing 2 weeks written notice and my last date of work will be *end date*.

      Thank you for the opportunities that have been provided while working for *company name*.

      Your Sincerely,
      *signature*
      Mizzy.

      Hand it over to the store manager on duty and advise her verbally of your resignation, effective as of the date you have picked. Then say “Here is my official resignation letter. Thank you for the opportunities I have been given.”

      Grab those lady balls! Good luck :)

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      Guest

      If you want out by the 27th, do it now. You never know when a reference will come in handy, even for a casual job when you are going into a professional area in a few years time and think it irrelevant.

      One thing to keep in mind is that sometimes employers don’t like people working out their notice and they are within their rights to not give you any shifts over the next couple of weeks, so plan for that if you need the money to continue until the 27th.

      Good luck : )

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    Mimi

    had a lovely romantic evening last night – cooked a meal for the husband and decorated the house with red rose lights and candles love having a sit down meal and just chatting about the day and stuff – going to make it a weekly thing prob Sat nights :) …my husband and i call each other portugeuse for husband and wife and thats our ‘pet names’ really….

    OMM: need to start learning regulary portugese so i can start talking with my family on skype!!

    hooray for being Wednesday!!! :)

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    Susan As Well

    OMM: I’m having some woohoo moments this week.

    Finally, finally I have a hope of getting child support payments on time – it took 15 years but at least I will be able to predict a reasonable budget!

    I left a complicated relationship two years ago and finally, finally have laid it to rest as to what was so completely confusing about it!

    I have sorted out my subjects to complete my masters today.

    My son is starting to regain some confidence with new psych and new medication!

    That’s 4 woohoo’s in a week … imagine what the rest of the year could be like :)

    Have fun MM’ers xo

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      picardie.girl

      Hurrah! Doing a happy dance for you. xx

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        Susan As Well

        Aren’t happy dances the best! :)

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      monique

      So glad to hear you’re having a good week so far :)

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        Susan As Well

        Thanks Monique xo

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    Jen Jen

    OMM: leaving my job and cow of a boss in less than 2 weeks, by a sweet sweet miracle not starting new job until 12 of march so have 2 weeks of (unpaid) holidays before I start new job! Hooray!
    Re MJ’s comment below: so glad I read it. Turning 26 in September and my new job has absolutely NOTHING to do with what I studied at uni. But I am determined to be happy and not lament the past. MJ all you decide to do is experience. It’s a big fat cliche but life really is too short. This has been proven to me many times.
    Nicknames! My fella and I call each other ‘my love’. It’s lovely hearing him say it! I also call him Kiddo if I’m trying to stir him up because he is 4 years younger than me.
    I know it’s not an amorous relationship but I have to tell that my poor mother is the brunt of all nicknames in our family. Her name is Val and she hates variations so what do we do but give her Valerie, Valdosta (a product of iphone autocorrect), Vivaldi and (rather cruelly) Valdemort, et al. Sister gets Fainty Fainty because she fainted twice in a short space of time at the doctors. best friend gets Farty Fartpants due to her lactose intolerance.

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    Petal

    OMG I LOVE Bickford’s cordial! The lemon is my favourite. AND it’s the only one without that disgusting artificial sweetner in it.

    Myspace? What the? Is it 2008?

    Hubby and I don’t really have names for each other but when we see a promo for The Good Wife, he always says ‘Look – Peta’s on!’ which I think is sweet (stop gagging) :)

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    Toots

    Love nicknames :)
    My sister has called me Miss Moo since I was little, neither of us can now remember how or why it started but its stuck! Hubby calls me Beautiful or Toots hence the MM pseudonym. I call him Handsome or more recently Bonds Bum as he bought some new bonds undies that are bright green and bright blue as they didn’t have black in his size (his standard). He’s a personal trainer and has a good physique so I said he could model the undies and be the new ‘bonds bum’. heehee

    OMM: we have a MOUSE in the apartment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was scared witless last night when we saw it and didn’t think I was one of these eek, omg a mouse, sort of gals. Blaming my reaction on pregnancy for now but god knows how we’re going to get rid of it. Bait etc of course but I’m going to have nightmares I’m sure. I said we should move……I’m only half joking.

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      Kitten

      Please whatever you do, don’t use baits. They’re incredibly inhumane (and even if you don’t like mice, presumably you don’t want to make one go through agony, respiratory distress and internal bleeding over a course of hours to days) and there’s always the risk of kids or pets or wildlife accidentally being affected. Humane traps are available and your RSPCA or whatever will come and pick up the trapped animal if you don’t want to just release it outside. And of course keeping food and the like stored away well will help reduce mousy items of interest.

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    MissT

    OMM: Husband has been away since Monday and out of reception (on a school camp). I haven’t spoken to him since Monday morning.

    Not a big fan of the pity-party, but I’m a sad panda. Miss him. Can’t wait for him to get home on Thursday afternoon.

    It’s a bit like losing my left arm. I can still function properly, but it’s just not the same.

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      picardie.girl

      Totally understand. It’s nice to have a bit of time to yourself, but I find when bf’s away that particular things like going to sleep and waking up feel lonely. It’s fine, but it’s not the same. xx

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        MissT

        Going to sleep is OK. I lie RIGHT in the middle of the bed and think “Wouldn’t be able to do this with Husband here!”. But waking up is lonely.

        Although Belle (cat) has cottoned on to him not being there so she’s been hopping into bed as soon as my alarm goes off for a cuddle. So that’s nice (don’t tell him).

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      JohnJames

      Absence makes the heart grow fonder, Pegs… :)

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        picardie.girl

        Yes! Just think about how pleased you’ll be to see him on Thursday.

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        MissT

        Cheers, KiKi.

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        Petal

        JJ, just off on a tangent here, but you mentioned a while ago how to type in italics and bold. Could you let me know again how you do this? Tried to DM you but I can’t work out how to do it through MM. Thanks.

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          JohnJames

          Bold: [strong]Text here[/strong]
          Italics: [em]Text here[/em]

          Replace [ and ] with “greater than” and “less than” symbols

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      iamevilcupcake

      When he gets back, that will be the best hug ever :)

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    MikeyMike

    CUPCAKE! CUPCAKE!.

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      JellyBelly

      OMG!! They are fantastic. They look too good to eat!

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      girly

      *love*

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      picardie.girl

      That is pretty much the coolest thing EVER. Rick will lose his sh*t when he sees it!

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      Susan As Well

      Who is the talented cakemaker that constructed those bits of whimsy … amazing!

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      iamevilcupcake

      Oh my god, look at Fozzie!! He is so adorable my head with explode!

      I want cupcakes now dammit!

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    whippersnapper

    Haha Nat, I see that you agree with my position that passports should be free!

    Lucy, you look so much like a girl I went to uni with sometimes, it’s not funny. Are you sure you’re not masquerading as a lawyer two floors down from me in Brisbane?!

    OMM: I’m still pretty shook up about the Mr W & I near break up we had a few weeks ago. We had a few chats this week and he basically said that while he loves me and wants us to be together forever and wants us to work everything out it might not work out that way!

    Which to me (after reading too many magazines and self help books) puts my antenna up and makes my head go “That’s it, it is never going to work, he will never propose, he doesn’t really want to be with you forever, you’re the one before the one I KNEW IT”. He thinks that I read too many magazines and should really stop applying magazine logic to our situation.

    We’ve both decided we’re sick of talking about things and we just want to get up and get on with things together. We’re nothing if not practical people, the Whippersnappers.

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      carohutchison

      He’s just being pragmatic Whipper. I remember when husband and I were where you’re at now – living together talking about the future – we went to my cousin’s wedding and he said to me afterwards “i don’t like being introduced as your boyfriend, i’m more than that’ I said ‘well it’s up to you to change things!’

      Perhaps Mr W also wants to know you can both get through the tough times too.

      I’m sure you’ll be ok. :)

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      Lucy Ormonde

      I have a twin?!

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        whippersnapper

        For sure!!

        She’s ULTRA trendy and when I see her in the lift I say “oh hi Michelle”, and subsequently look down at my outfit and feel woefully nerdy lawyer dressed compared to her “ultra chic New York lawyer” look she’s got going on!

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    Sezzard

    OMM: I’m still reeling from my valentines day present yesterday. My husband announced he wants to separate. He promptly packed a bag and left. He said I treat him like crap but can’t tell me how when I ask him. Im devastated as we have an 11 day old son together and we have been waiting for this for so long! He cried when he said goodbye to our baby. I haven’t stopped crying, trying to stop my heart from shattering! Now I’m by myself with a baby and a house I can’t afford. He won’t even talk or communicate with me, saying only it’s over so there is nothing to talk about. Not only that, he is staying with his brother who hates me and doesn’t have an issue vocalizing it. I have no idea how I can possibly get him to come home. I feel like a lost puppy right now! …. So that’s what’s OMM this week! :-(

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      Lana

      Sezzard, I am so sorry to hear that. Wishing you so much strength

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      Nicky Champ

      Sezzard, that is terrible, do you have family close by to help you or that you can stay with?

      Sending you hugs xo

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      b

      That is terrible :( So sorry about your crap day.

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      detachableprincess

      Oh, Sezzard, what a nightmare! Do you have family or friends close by? You need some sympathetic shoulders to cry on and, most importantly, some help with your son. A new baby is stressful enough without a potential breakup mixed in there, too.

      I’m sorry I can’t offer any advice, but I’m sending you a giant virtual hug.

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      Dkmum

      Oh my gosh!!! And I thought I was in a bad state because my husband decided if I don’t do anything for him on Valentines then he won’t do anything for me.
      How can you even get through all of that?? Having a newborn in the house is bad enough for your mental health with hormones and sleep deprivation taking its toll, let alone a surprise breakup.
      Make sure you ask for help from anyone and anywhere!!! Get happy pills from your doctor if that will do it for you, or ask your girlfriend to come over for chats and bring you dinner. It’s so important you stay healthy, both for you and your baby. And don’t forget there’s a whole community here happy to lend you an ear!!

      Thoughts and best wishes to you, hun!!!

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      JellyBelly

      Oh Sezzard, I am so sorry. I’m no expert but do you think there are other things going on (eg: work stress), plus having a new baby which could’ve just stressed him out. I’m sure you’re not treating him like crap, after all you have a newborn to look after. Please surround yourself with family & friends because you need to look after yourself.

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      Janie

      Sezzard, I hope he comes to his senses and you are able to resolve the situation. Wishing you much strength.

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      Jen

      Feel for you Seezard. If you dont have family or friends nearby, maybe talk to someone at your baby health clinic? They may be able to offer practical help at this difficult time. Sending you hugs, Jen xx

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      Loulee

      Oh I am so, so sorry but excuse me what kind of bastard leaves his wife and 11 day old child!?!?!? Yes it is shocking to have a new born baby and we all go pretty crazy there for a while but holy crap. Leaving you like that? At this time? I’m furious on your behalf. Hopefully he will come to his senses and you can work things out.

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      MissT

      Oh my gosh!! Sending you so much love and hugs right now. I don’t have any advice other than get as much support and help as you can!!

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      Mimi

      Sezzard so sorry to hear about that and sending you strength through this time – i hope you have a support unit close (friends family etc) remember to stay strong and healthy for you and your baby xx

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      Simone

      I’m so sorry Sezzard. That’s outrageous! Ask him to at least attend a counselling session with you to communicate what is making him so unhappy.
      Hopefully it’s just a lack of sleep and new baby stress that has freaked him out a bit. I hope you work it out. x

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      Susan As Well

      So worried for you Sezzard … a plan for this week:

      1. ask your family or friends for help straight away

      2. get to Centrelink as soon as you can, they have emergency payments (they did when my ex-husband cleaned out our joint bank account although it was 15 years ago now)

      3. sleep, eat and drink when the baby does so you can function.

      My thoughts are with you xo

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        vanessayoung

        Agree with everything Susan as Well says. I would definitely be on to Centrelink as soon as possible (phone them).
        Can your Mum, sister, brother or other relative help you?
        This happens more than you think to new Mums and Mums to be.
        Hugs and I wish there was something more I could do. Where do you live (city, country, overseas)?

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      erinsy

      oh my god! im so sorry to hear that and i wish i could give you a giant hug, Please try and remember that these are his issues not yours, you focus on keeping yourself well and looking after that gorgeous baby. sending peace love and strength your way xx

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        Sezzard

        Thank you everyone! Your support is amazing! I love the MM community for this! To answer all the questions as once, im in Brisbane and I do have my mum who lives 40 minutes away and she has been super helpful. I also have two friends in my area who are being pillars of strength and comfort for me. I need to get out of the house but in worried I will wear out my welcome soon enough. People have their own lives to live and I hate to feel like I’m imposing! It’s only been one day and I have 11 months of maternity leave left! I have no idea how I’m going to get through tomorrow let alone another 11 months! My brother lives in Townsville and has booked me a flight to go there next week so he can support me emotionally. I’m so grateful! Thank you for the advice everyone, I will be trying everything to get through this as sane as possible and hopefully make the right decisions for my son! Thank you for all the hugs too! I’m so appreciative of all the love and concern!

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          Louisec

          I’m so relieved to hear you have good friends and family! Great that you are going to your brothers. And that you have your mum.

          Why do you have to leave the house so quickly, is it that you want to?

          Let people help you, this is such a huge thing to happen to you. No one is going to be put out by you especially yr family. So don’t worry about that, just breathe deeply and let them look after you.

          It’s absolutely horrendous but you’ll get thru this w the support of family and friends and us too! xxx

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          Anonymous

          Sezzard – don’t even begin to worry about the next 11 months. Just focus on today, and tomorrow when you wake up, all you have to worry about is that day. yeah, yeah, cliche it is – but one day at a time, one step at a time and one breath at a time. I cannot even begin to imagine what is going on that he leaves behind an 11 day old baby – and I make no judgements. I don’t know, maybe he’s just freaked out by it all. But at the moment he doesn’t matter – you do and so does your baby. So just like everyone says – right now you need to surround yourself with those who love you – friends, family – get support and take care.
          I think there will be many people thinking of you over the coming days/weeks.

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          detachableprincess

          Sezzard, I am also a Brisbanite! Find me on twitter (@detachprincess) if there’s anything I can help you with. My local coffee shop is baby-friendly, if you need a sympathetic ear!

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          elle

          I’m not sure of your situation (income, age etc) but here are some services in Brisbane that may be of assistance to you..

          Young Mothers Assistance
          (07) 3340 5600

          St Vinnies (financial support with bills, food vouchers etc)
          07 3010 1096

          Parenting and Family Support Centre http://www.pfsc.uq.edu.au/

          http://www.singlemotherforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=33&t=882

          http://www.loneparentfamilysupport.com.au/links-and-resources.htm

          http://www.singleparentbible.com.au/

          Salvos support http://www.salvationarmy.org.au/SALV/LANDING/COMMUNITYS.html#aue

          Parentline http://www.parentline.com.au/

          Centrelink http://www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/services/social_worker.htm

          http://www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/payments/special_benefit.htm

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          freetoclaire

          Hi Sezzard, another brisbanite here. Ive been in a similar situation, when I had my oldest. Was on my own by the time he was six weeks old. Its an overwhelming situation to be in, especially with your first, I know.
          I have a 1 year old at the moment and I go to two playgroups in different areas (one near my kids’ school and one near where I live), so if you need to get out of the house with the baby for a while I can give you the info for the two playgroups – even if its just to chat to some other mums and drink coffee :)
          Im on twitter (same @ as my MM name) if you decide you want to get in touch :)

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      girly

      That sucks big time. I am very sorry this happened to you. Perhaps he didn’t realize the work a baby involved and feels jealous? Like you give all your attention to the baby and not him? Try your best to communicate with him, maybe through other family members of his? I honestly hope it works out for you. xxxx

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      Louisec

      My God! Do you have family, friends who can be there with you now? This is such a huge shock for you.

      We are all worried about you. Please let us know that you’re ok.

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      JosieY

      Sezzard I am so sorry. Could he have PND? It can manifest before the actual birth and really mess with your mind. Hang in there sweetheart.

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      monique

      Sezzard, I am so terribly sorry to hear this! You poor thing! I wish I could do something to make you feel better!

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    girly

    Been a pretty full on week. Started doing my new segment for the web, excited much?! The reporter will record it this afternoon then I will get to edit for upload. :D

    Yesterday was hectic. Had a doctors appointment to get my results of a colposcopy, which confirmed CIN 3 (pre cancerous cells). Was booked in for next Wednesday to have the op done.

    Cue frantic calls to NIB and my GP to make sure I was covered for the private hospital, the anaesthetist to see what my out of pocket expense was. Then a trip to Medicare to get reimbursed from the visit to the GP.

    Bought the boy his Valentines gift and finally collapsed in bed for an hour before I had to pick him up from TAFE!

    My boyfriend is honeybun. He calls me his little chickadee. :)

    I am so very jealous of the MM staff, it looks like it would be a blast working there.

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      Toots

      Hey Girly, hope everything goes well with the op next wed and I’ll keep fingers crossed that as much as possible of the cost is covered, Hate having to think about money at times like that.
      Thinking of you x

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      freetoclaire

      Hey girly, I had the same result and a Lletz done a few years back – it wasnt as painful as it sounded like it was going to be (maybe just sounded painful to me coz Im a sook?), just a bit crampy for a couple of days. I hope it goes just as well for you :) Ive got my fingers crossed for you.

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      missneriss

      Hey girly, I had the Lletz in August last year, and although it was a stressful time, it really wasn’t a terrible procedure.

      Sending you a big hug and I’ll be thinking of you on Wed X

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    JohnJames

    Nick names:

    Most people call me JJ…not sure why…

    I also get Jessie a lot too…

    R and I call each other “Pooks”…

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    MissT

    I want a cupcake now. Thanks a lot.

    My nickname for Husband is mostly “Hun”. So original!

    He affectionately calls people “Monkey”. Started with his daughter – she climbed on everything, and now it’s her, me, a couple of his (female) friends, our nieces… It’s also evolved into the family nickname for all children.

    There was one moment where he said “Monkey, blah blah blah” in public with me, his daughter and a friend there. I had to say “Me Monkey, her Monkey or her Monkey?”

    I also call Husband Bear because that’s one of his middle names and he is kind of like a Bear… especially when grumpy.

    What should be free? Pegs! When I first moved into my brand new house it never occurred to me I’d have to buy something as boring as pegs.

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      Kerryn

      Pegs! Totally.

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      JohnJames

      Your new nickname shall be Pegs!

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      Raraluna

      Haha- I call mine bear too, well actually Oso, which is Spanish for bear.

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      JosieY

      Really? I love pegs! So many uses!

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    Kerryn

    My sister and I call each other Woopty. Always have, and it turns into McPoopty, Woopty-pants, Wooptus or Pooptus, and Zoosty (via text).

    My husband is Honey-Barnacle, and to him I am “my sweats” – he has spelling issues, and one of the first times he emailed me he called me this, I found it hilarious and he’s called me it ever since.

    My kids are Vanil, Maisy and Bibs – not their real names. I am a nicknamer, I can’t help myself. Love a good nickname!

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    Karyn

    In public, I call my boyfriend sweetie and he calls me love. In private, I call him “snuggly bunny” and he’s just started calling me “bunny pants”. He also calls me “Dolly McDawdle” because he thinks I take too long to get ready and get places in general. He’s even made up a song to go along with it.

    I am in an especially good mood today, for no particular reason. Life just feels good today!

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    Yazzy

    OMM:

    Online shopping! I have my credit card armed and ready, and am ready to enter the world of online shopping… but have no idea where to start! It is overwhelming, so many websites, so many shoes.

    I know a lot of MMers are much hipper than me and up with the play, so does anyone have any reccommendations of fab websites (clothing/shoes/jewellery/makeup)?

    My credit card does not thank you, but I do! x

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      gypsy

      http://www.shopbop.com

      My credit card and I have a love hate relationship thanks to this site. A wide range of clothing, designer stuff and good sales. Very secure site. I bought a top last Tuesday evening and it was on my desk at work on Thursday afternoon. Super fast delivery. Dangerously addictive.

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        Petal

        Just had a look at shopbop. $70 for a t-shirt! Bit expensive for me!

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      Sarah

      You have to visit ASOS and Amazon. So, so, so much time and money can be spent on these sites! Amazon’s great for makeup and books, ASOS for ANYTHING fashion related. It is terrible for the Aussie economy, but with our dollar so strong you can grab some cracking bargains.

      Also- make sure you have a paypal account set up to facilitate safe transactions and you always check the site is secure – sorry if you already know this!

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      Laura

      ASOS and Etsy!

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      Kathy W

      I buy stacks of stuff from Victoria’s Secret. They have amazing shoes – and it’s sale time over there now – they’re ditching their winter stuff just in time for our winter.
      I’ve got Steve Madden boots from VS for $35 (on sale) – and they’re in David Jones for over $300. Their shipping is approx. $30 and they absolutely stuff their parcels so you could buy 4-5 things and not pay over $30.

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      maybedaisy

      And if you visit http://www.shoesofprey.com you can design your own kicks!

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      elli

      Amazon and Booktopia!

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      JosieY

      Makeupalley.com for suggestions and booko.com.au to compare prices onbooks.

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      Yazzy

      Thanks lovelies! I have a date with my macbook and credit card this weekend xx

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      poppy

      asos.com and the bookdepository.com both free delivery. Set up a paypal account and you don’t have to remember your credit card number and it’s very safe. I have just started looking on saksfifthavenue and macys, both deliver to Australia. Always google makeup before buying, it is surprising how prices differ. Amazon annoys me as most times I go through all the checkout stuff and then they say that they don’t deliver to our part of the world. Any retailers that are in Australia, the overseas counterparts do not deliver to Australia to protect their stores here. That’s why I don’t want H&M or any others to come here. Zara here is terrible compared to the US and Singapore.

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    Profiterole

    My love calls me;
    - My love
    - Profiterole (hence the screen name.. can’t remember where the inspiration came from though)
    - Little Bella Mozzarella – from Gavin and Stacey, Smithy calls Lucy it once

    I call him:
    - My dove, when he calls me my love, and;
    - (insert fitting adjective here)-osaurus rex. Like; Late-osaurus rex, if he’s a bit tardy. Mess-osaurus rex, babe-osaurus rex if he’s been particularly lovely. Etc, etc.

    Ahhhh I want cake. You’ve just made me very hungry 30 minutes shy of lunchtime.

    Yes, sanitary products should be free. Or at least free of GST!!!

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      Profiterole

      Oh, and our two housemates, a couple, call each other ‘pookie’, ‘pooks’ and other variations on that theme. Always initiated by her, I don’t think he is such a fan but he grudgingly goes along with it (after she has called it across the room a dozen times, he can’t really ignore it forever). They can be a bit hard to be around sometimes..

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      ParisChic

      i really like that!!

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    susanbrennan

    A guy at uni used to call me Swoo, it was so funny if I was at a bar and I could hear “Swoooooooooo!” coming from across the room. Nobody called me that until the internet and I used it as my nickname on msn. Now I get Swoozles, Swoon, Swooster, SwoosieB… I just love having my own nickname, childish I know, especially since I’m 48 these days, but it keeps me feeling younger!

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      iamevilcupcake

      I use Evil Cupcake as my online handle (obviously) and this has turned into my nickname. I get called, Cupcake, Cuppy, Cake, Evil, and Sprinkles. I love it :)

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      girly

      Dammit! Haha, those nicknames are cute. Growing up I never got a nickname. My brothers were Rabbit and Pappy. I always wished for one! :D

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    SK

    OMM – Mr 3 has moved up a room to ‘pre-kinder’. Thing is they have a TV in this room and watch it for ‘educational’ purposes. when did Dora the Explorer and Bob Square thingy become educational? I have checked with other parents about their Day Care’s and this one seems to be the only one that uses TV and in most cases even has a TV. I am pretty particular about what Mr 3 watches – and most of it isn’t ‘educational’ – think Thomas; Chuggington and Ra Ra the noisy lion BUT I get to choose and I say how much or how little ( I sound like Julia Roberts from Pretty woman…) do I take it further Or am I being a helicopter Mommy…

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      F

      I don’t think there is anything wrong with questioning them about. It isn’t being a helicopter mum. I’d want to know how often they put it on. Is it daily or just a once off when it is has been raining for a week?
      It has been a while since I’ve seen sponge bob square pants and I can’t think of anything educational about it.

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        Renee

        They should have a television policy, ask to see it. I’m sure it doesn’t mention sponge bob as appropriate.

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      Kell

      I wouldn’t be happy about this at all. I HATE my kids watching Spongebob and any daycare that has a tv for educational purposes is basically full of it. It is a way to get the kids to sit quietly and give the care givers a break. I think it’s shocking and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with speaking up about it.

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      rebafe

      I don’t think Spongebob is appropriate for preschooler!!! I don’t let my 4.5 year old watch it!

      I’d definately be taking it further…. Ask them for the evidence that suggests these shows have any real educational value and how they are aligned with the curriculum. What a crock!

      Has the centre gone through accreditation? Find out who certified it and contact them to ask if this is in line with their standards.

      I feel for you though – who wants to be the mum who rocks the boat – maybe have a word with some of the other parents so that you can attack it as a group??? Good luck!

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        SK

        Thank you for your support. yeah, I don’t want to be the Mum who ‘rocks the boat’ BUT I just find it hard to justify having anyone’s kid watching TV when they are in Day Care. I will see if I can get a few other Mummies on board ‘the good ship’ before I take it further. Thanks again. Sometimes you just need a sounding board. :-)

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      Tripitaka

      As far as TV shows for kids go, I think Dora is one of the best. It is quite interactive in that it gets the kids to say things and participate in actions (counting, clapping, dancing etc.) And my daughter has learnt a fair bit of Spanish from it too, which I think is pretty cool.

      Having said that, I wouldn’t want it shown at daycare. Daycare isn’t the place for TV, it’s the place for being social and running around. You are paying people to look after your kids, and so I think it’s fair to expect that they do exactly that for the time that your child is there. My son’s daycare does have a TV, but they only bring it out on very rare occasions, certainly not as an every day thing.

      I would have a word with the director, or even send an email, and just present your concerns as feedback. If you keep it all friendly and assertive, then noone can accuse you of being a helicptor mum or of being unreasonable.

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      Loulee

      Definitely pull them up on Sponge Bob. There is nothing remotely educational about that. But Dora the Explorer is educational. My son had TV at his preschool. They would only put it on occasionally if the weather was bad or as a treat. It wasn’t a huge drama.

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      Anonymous

      This is a worry I think. I remember when I was in prep (33 years ago!) we used to watch Play School a couple of mornings a week. And if TV must be used in daycare/kinder etc, that would be pretty much the only show I would want to be screened.