.
by MARY GELLATLY
I have a fat baby. Go back a generation and this fact would be a reason for celebration. A fat baby was considered a healthy baby, a baby who had a bit of padding “to fall back on” in the event of sickness. A fat baby would give his/her mummy cause to breathe a sigh of relief that her little boy/girl was not likely to be sickly or a struggler. Today? Not so much.
My baby is “obese” in the words of one. “A monster!” proclaimed another. “He likes his tucker” comments the 3563rd complete stranger in the supermarket, whilst critically eyeing his older brother and sister to assess whether I have a propensity to overfeed my children.
I have read articles about our society’s obsession with cookie-cutter body shapes and our photoshop-skewed notions of beauty. As a person whose BMI has been grazing the upper limits of normal for most of my adult life, I can relate. I will never look like Kate Moss. Or Miranda Kerr. I’m not even curvy in the voluptuous, retro-50’s kinda way. Just big.
In fact, I vaguely suspect that Trinny and Susannah would describe my body shape as a “Brick”. Noice. Even they couldn’t come up with something a little more flattering than that.
Anyway, I digress. This article isn’t about me – I’m a big girl (pun intended) and I can live with that, so back to babies. Last week, pottering about on Mamamia, I read a post about the birth of not-so-little American baby Asher Stewardson who came out of his mother and hit the scales at 14 pounds (6.5kg). My heart went out to his mummy straight away. Not because of the birth itself (well also that – he was born vaginally and without an epidural – ouch), but because of what is yet to come.
Babies on the whole seem to be viewed as common property. Once you have children, you find that the world is a much more talkative, friendly place and that can be very nice. You have conversations with complete strangers that leave you feeling all warm and fuzzy and like part of a big community group hug. It’s nice. Or it can be. Suddenly though, when the baby isn’t quite your cut-out gingerbread baby, all this community can turn a little… intrusive.
Mary’s beautiful baby boy.
“How did you get him out!?”
“How are you feeding him? Is he breastfed?”
“Were his siblings big babies?”
“Have you got him on solids yet?”
“Is his daddy tall? Surely he must be…”
And so on. Sure, I know people on the whole mean well and the majority of these comments are good humoured and motivated by pleasant curiosity, but would you like to have to enter into the gruesome details of why your obstetrician opted for a last-minute caesarean or why breastfeeding didn’t work for you – all in the middle of the fresh food section of your very busy local supermarket?
It isn’t only strangers, either. Family and friends have offered not-so-helpful tips about his diet, expressed concern over whether his size is a precursor of disease and announced that he would no doubt be slow to crawl and walk because of the load he had to carry.
Should I really feel the need to justify his appearance and outline my feeding regime everywhere we go? Am I just being overprotective and a little sensitive? I did wonder whether this was the case until I heard his older sister call him “Our fatty baby” and his brother say, “Baby is a fat boy!”
It has been enlightening to see how much the Hollywood led concept of body beauty has become engrained in our collective psyche. Thin is the only kind of beautiful, such that a fat baby should draw such comment and warrant such wide-spread concern about his future health, appearance and mobility.
All this at 8 months of age. And we wonder why pre-teens develop eating disorders…
Mary is a 28 year old Brisbane girl who is mum to 3 children. She has an obsession with celebrity chefs and a hopeless compulsion to buy food magazines. Currently she is working on recipes in the hope of one day publishing a cookery book.
Who would you react?
Comments
131 Comments so far
Both of mine were chubby. The eldest is 26 now and back when she was born chubby babes were considered healthy and normal. In my family circle, a chubby babe was ‘in good condition’. Odd words, but complimentary.
I always thought babies were meant to be cuddly to go right along with the big smiles, big eyes, button noses, fluffy hair, and all the CUTEness. Isn’t that supposed to be natures way of protecting the young?
loading...
Mary, your son is absolutely beautiful and looks extremely healthy. Enjoy this time with him and blow raspberries at the naysayers.
loading...
I had the opposite, which seemed like just as much cause for other people’s concern. Especially had trouble keeping weight on DS#2. He still has that problem though – at 17 he’s had to go back to size 14 school pants becuase the 16s are now falling off him. He’s never going to be huge, but he’s incredibly healthy. I just wish people didn’t feel like they can comment on weight issues at either end of the scale.
loading...
I love fat babies…. it makes me smile. I feel like whatever you are doing, you are doing it right! Feed those lovely chubby bubbies! My brothers were the fattest things on earth, and by 3-4 they started to get taller and slimmer and both are tall and skinny and have always been this way! I was not, i was smaller at 6 pound, and then a average to small baby, I wasnt ever overweight until I was in my mid 20′s and now its a bitch to get rid of! If anyone comments on my babies weight about her being fat, i will simply say thank you and isnt she delicious….cos she is…healthy delicious and lovely!
loading...
I was a very chubby baby with rolls all over my thighs and arms which every one loved. I look at photos of me then and I was damn cute! I have put on weight recently through being in a very happy relationship and indulging ourselves and each other – something we are addressing right now before it gets out of hand!! But prior to letting an extra 5kg slip on, I was a normal, healthy child, teenager and then adult with no problems relating to weight whatsoever. All my baby fat had gone by the time I was 3-4 years old and I was a normal weight. I am thinking about having kids soon and I would love a bonny bouncing bubba with a little more to love, provided that was just their shape as nature intended at that point, their diet was completely healthy and they were happy…
loading...
I have polar opposites with my son and daughter. She is 5.5 and is just 20 kgs and very tall. She has been between 18-20 kgs for 2 years and gotten taller. So skinny leg jeans are lose on her. My mum at nearly 60 is still under 60kgs both very active and can nOt keep weight on.
My son is 2 and is off the weight scales he is 18kgs and tall but also active and healthy
I get comments about there weight. I do let my daughter have extra treats and try and fatten her food up. Especially after beinf sick she l
loading...
My babies were all chubby too, and I was very proud of them, especially as they were all breastfed, and I thought they were beautiful. I remember a (doctor) friend commenting on my first at three months – she said ‘what a thriving baby” – now that put a positive spin on it for me.
Babies 2 and 3 were both over 10 pounds at birth, and thrived too, with gorgeous chubby rolls.
These days they are all gorgeous, slim teens and young adults. It does indeed seem that big babies often grow into slim adults. My littlest does say she was too fat as a baby – but I disagree!
Shame on any unthinking people who would critisize a baby for being chubby.
loading...
I must admit I have felt a sense of relief my girls are slightly built. I believe these feelings are directly related to our socio-cultural love of the slightly built female. I’d like to think I’d love them no matter what their size. I am sure I would but I also know a part of me would worry about how others would treat them. I know my children’s size has nothing much to do with diet and much more to do with genetics. It is not fair that we are judged on the ‘good” genes we inherit.
loading...
Both my babies were fat and now 18 years later are healthy intelligent young women. I have spent their life fighting this dreadful phenomenon of fat obsession and think I’ve done the best I can. Both have healthy bodies and body images.
loading...
My baby is fat. People comment buying would never relate it to eating is orders. People love babies. They’re just trying to engage. I don’t mind it.
loading...
People can be so rude though. I was told by a stranger that my 4 month old was heading for a life of obesity and disease because of his size! That may of been the case if I was feeding him hotdogs and chips but he was exclusively breastfed. Really though he is a big boy at just turned 3 years of age, in size 4-6 clothes and he still has rolls but…. He is broad shouldered and he has a butt wider and bigger than his 7 year old sister, but that’s the way he is built. My daughter was also really chubby (not to his extent) and is slender as can
be. I don’t think he will ever be a small boy and has been checked out by a pead, but it’s genetics and they way his body’s cells work.
I love a chubby bubbly, just not the carrying around of one though, lol.
loading...
Oh and our daughter walked at 9 months, so the extra load didn’t hamper her at all. Your baby is gorgeous
loading...
Haven’t read the comments yet, bu our baby girl was 9lb at birth and proceeded to put on a kilo a month for the next 3 months. Child health nurse thought I was giving her solids.
Nearly 12 years down the track my beautiful chubba bubba is a gorgeous (healthy weight) pre-teen. personally I love chubby babies,
loading...
My son was a chubby baby, he was wearing size 1′s at 3 months, with the sleeves and legs rolled up! He’s very tall and skinny at 22. Totally agree with Robyne below, if they’re eating healthy food and are well, then whatever size they are is the size they’re meant to be!
loading...
My daughter was a very chubby baby and was on the 98th percentile for her weight and was breastfed and the health nurses would say lucky she is breastfed because if she was bottlefed we would be telling you to stop feeding her so much!
I thought it was crazy she was happy and healthy and now she is 5 years old and very thin, last night as I was dropping her off at her dad’s, he looked at her and said “does she eat” as a joke about her being thin.
Now I have the opposite worry that people will think I don’t feed her enough but she eats she just eats lots of little meals during the day.
Mary your baby is beautiful and looks very healthy and happy.
loading...
Putting the other perspective out there… Our second child was born with a hole in her heart and then failed to thrive as an infant (which is when we found the hole, through the myriad of tests that goes with a failing to thrive diagnosis. Not to mention the automatic DOCS report that comes along for the ride with a diagnosis like that. Happy days).
So for the first year of her life, we were desperately trying to get fat on her. This meant not so much steamed vegies as steamed vegies with a side serve of grated cheese and full fat cream stirred through.
What this all meant for our little girl, is that she never had any reserves to fight off an illness. She didnt get any teeth until nearly 1. She didnt crawl until nearly 1. She didnt walk until about 15 months. Her hair didnt grow until after 1. She was always cold, with blue toes and fingers, no matter how many bloody layers I kept her in, and consequently our heating bill went through the roof as well.
And of course the comments from strangers. And medical practitioners. And child care workers. And child protection workers…
I guess what I am trying to say in a very convoluted and confused way, is that babies never fit the right “box”. Yours may be chubby, but at least he is healthy. And happy as well judging by that picture! So something is going right!
loading...
Mary your boy is divine!!!
I just love that stage when they look like they have little screw on hands.
Look how happy he is. Just gorgeous.
loading...
Mary, your son is gorgeous!
I had the opposite – no chubby thighed babies
My youngest was a long, slender baby, and I was quite cross at my first health nurse appointment when the nurse said “She’s quite scrawny, isn’t she?” At her 18 months appointment I was advised to fatten her up with ice cream, milk, butter, yoghurt etc as her BMI was 14. My daughter was active, ate well, slept well, and extremely happy. I felt that the health nurse was looking at how far my daughter was from ‘average’ instead of looking at the complete picture (which should include family history in my opinion).
loading...
People need to learn, if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all!
I think your little boy is quite edible
loading...
My son was 8lb 4 oz at birth and we struggled to put weight on him despite his huge appetite and my daughter was 6lb 13oz and put on a pound a week and looked just like Mary’s lovely baby.
I have a friend who had huge babies, they were “off the charts” now they are school age and look just the same as everyone in their class. Why can’t we just enjoy the miracle that is a new baby?
These charts are meant to be a guide, nothing else, I think they are misinterpreted by a lot of health professionals. Surely it is the overall health of a baby that counts, whether he or she is putting on weight, reaching milestones and is happy. I would hate to think mothers are needlessly worried because of percentiles or, conversely, that problems are being overlooked because baby’s charts are ok.
loading...
I agree. The health nurses use them like bibles though and make us new mums stress out so much! My friend’s baby was ‘off the charts’ for weight and the nurse told her she was ‘overfeeding’ her son, my sis in law too and a nurse actually told her he wasn’t rolling or crawling because he’s too fat. sounds ridiculous, but both instances were true! Both kids are now very tall for their ages and average for weight. My son was ‘off the charts’ for head size!
loading...
Not all of us do. They’re more like “guidelines”……
loading...
I can kinda relate, in that i am not so slender, and i have a dog. Not a baby, but my baby. He is part pomeranian and FLUFFY, and when i take him out, people often say, “ooh isn’t he cute, but he’s so fat!” or just “oh isn’t he fat!”, or “I have a dog like that, but not so fat.” I must say, i usually brush these things off, and avoid the overwhelming desire to say, well actually according to the VET (someone who actually knows what they’re talking about), he is a perfect weight. Yes he’s very fluffy so tends to look bigger than he is, but don’t worry, he’s just fine. And far healthier than he was when he was living as a breeding dog in a puppy farm for 9 years! Didn’t see too many people worrying about his welfare then – but i digress.
Anyway, it must feel much worse when it’s actually your baby – all babies are gorgeous and deserving of nothing but love free from judgement.
loading...
Dont know where my comment from yesterday went, but what you should ideally look for is continued upward growth of all your measurements and an alert, settled baby who is meeting their milestones, no matter where they happen to be on the growth curves.
Genetics plays such a part on our size. Big babies at birth (at term) are often a consequence of genetics and placental function and as they grow, if you see a baby becoming bigger or smaller than average, look at the parents!
Personally, I love chubby babies.
loading...
Thankfully that attitude about chubby babies hasnt drifted through to Adelaide yet, it’s still a sign of a healthy baby here….
loading...
Your baby is a gorgeous happy little boy Mary! ignore them all! My three were all chubsters but slimmed out as they became active. My second daughter had continual tonsillitis from 18 months and could drop 2kg in 24hours when she had a fever (yes REALLY! we weighed her a few times to check!), she would drop from a slightly chubby 14kg to a slim 12. I was always keen to feed her up on avocado and eggs to get her back up before the next infection!
As long as babies are being fed nutritious, real foods (no coke in the bottle!! Then whatever they weigh is most likely right for them.
loading...
All babies are beautiful! I’ve had 3 very different kids. #1 was a ‘off the chart’ chubbabubba and is now a lean, strong average almost 6yo. #2 was above average with a few cute rolls and is now a very tall, strong and almost off the charts 2.5yo. Whereas #3 is my lightweight, still gorgeous but much more delicately built.
You can’t fight genetics, a healthy baby is a good baby but geez those rolls are darn cute
loading...
I lived in south-east Asia when I had my first child and although she was fairly average size by Australian standards, 3.3kg born and she was around 7kg at 6 months, the Thai people couldn’t get over how huge she was (which she was compared to most of the Thai children!). My youngest daughter has grown up in Australia and was 2.8kg born and at 6 months was only just 5.5kg and I constantly had comments about how tiny she was, was she premature, did she have an allergy//illness etc. So either way you can’t win lol.
Today they’re 10 and 6 and both slightly smaller than average for their age and a fairly similar body type so I would agree that baby/toddler size doesn’t really indicate the future.
Plus, I think your baby is beautiful and he doesn’t look fat at all to me!
loading...
This is where all the body image crap starts. As long as baby is able to do all the things it should be doing then ignore all the comments. Never use the words fat, chubby, overweight around kids once they can understand what they mean. Same as thin and skinny. All of them can have a detrimental affect on children and then later teens and so on!
loading...
My baby brother weighed in at around 5 KG at birth at was 61 cm long. All my sisters kids have had the chunky thighs, I personally LOVE them. If you have a bub with the chunky thighs I will change ALL the nappies ALL the time. Om nom nom nom nom nom.
loading...
I have a theory that in general babies born big, end up thinner as adults and vice versa. My younger brother was a bigger baby at birth than me, but I am bigger now. My husband was the smallest at birth in his family of boys but is the biggest now. My son was 7lb2oz and our neighbour had a baby two weeks before me, he was 9lb10oz, but you should see them now they are 9 years old, my son is at least a head taller.
loading...
Mary, your boy is gorgeous!
I have 2 boys aged 7 months and 20 months, and they are big boys. First one was 3.9kg and my second was 4.1kg and many, many people have commented on their size. My reply to them is, “Well, there is just more of them to love.”
Nothing wrong with a chubby bubby I say!!!
loading...
I also had fat babies, but I also had a really tall and skinny husband who was once a very fat baby. Sure enough, I now have tall, skinny kids. Not much you can do about genetics!
loading...
My 16 month old was barely 3 kg when he was born, but very quickly chubbed out and grew, and now sits on the higher end of the height and weight charts – and he has massive feet, which he gets from his dad (who wears a size 15). We recently moved to Japan, and of course, the Japanese are in general much smaller than Aussies, so I am constantly getting comments from everyone about the size of our boy. I just get tired of having the same conversation over and over in English and in Japanese! Our new neigbours’ 4 year old daughter currently weighs the same as our son. When I see kids here that are the same size as my son, running about and chatting away, I have to remind myself that my boy isn’t behind developmentally…as these kids are generally a couple of years older than him.
I am also pregnant with our second bub, and, recently, was given the height and weight charts from my local health centre here where we live in Tokyo for new bub’s first 12 months…I just laughed as, if our first child is anything to go by, our second bub will be off the charts by his second month!!
loading...
Mary I am sorry that these busy bodies have upset you. I always respond to the unwelcome comments of strangers with a sympathetic smile, all the while thinking ‘what the f@&! would you know.’. I take comfort from the fact that whatever they might think of my parenting skills probably pales into insignificance compared to what I am thinking of them. It works for me.
loading...
My four-month-old is 8kg now and was 4.6kg and 57cm when he was born. I have had all sorts of people, including complete strangers, ask how he was born (as if thats anyones business) and when I say that I had him naturally, proceed to enquire about how many stitches I had and how it must have been brutal delivering a huge baby. I even had someone look at my big gorgeous boy then nudge my partner and say “bet you’re not getting lucky for a while!” I nearly died of shock.
Um, excuse me but the state of my vagina is not for public discussion!
loading...
I understand your frustration. Strangers comments (and family and friends at time too) as kind meaning as they may be given, can hurt. My 10 month old is small, very small, and healthy too. But everyone wants to comment, asking what she is fed, am I sure I have enough milk, should she be changed to formula, telling me I should be giving her more cheese/yoghurt/red meat/rice/pasta etc. She enjoys a great diet, loves to eat everything given, but is a small build. In every group of people there is going to be one who is the biggest, tallest, thinnest, shortest, darkest, palest, loudest, quietest etc. Aren’t we lucky to be diverse and different.
loading...
I had a fat baby until he started walking, and I’ve been guilty of commenting on other gorgeous fat babies, because I *do* think they are gorgeous. I have never asked all those questions, more as a comment. I’m sorry if I’ve offended! I think it’s one time where people complement a fat person! Once they start walking I think it gets a bit more derogatory though.
loading...
My babies were huge breastfed Buddhas They are normal sized kids now. My beautiful child health nurse had a wall of fame of milk legs and you should have seen the thigh rolls! It’s natures way and it’s a sign of our screwed up attitudes that we talk about babies as obese.
loading...
Don’t worry Mary, it’s the same the other way. My second boy, 7 months, started crawling at 6 months and has gone down to the 5th percentile for weight from the 50th. I’ve had countless people tell me I should add milo to his milk (including a doctor at a child health clinic), stop breastfeeding immediately and formula feed him, have you tried avocado/potato/chicken/pasta/butter/bread, he’s too skinny, and oh, are you feeding him enough?
The answer to all of them is I’m doing my best to get as much in him as I can, he’s very, very active and no, my doctor isn’t worried in the slightest.
Everyone has an opinion, but yes it can be upsetting.
loading...
Bloody hell! Normal is normal; anywhere on that curve is normal. Someone has to be at the bottom of the bell curve, just as someone has to be at the top too!
loading...
Are things really worse or are we all just a bit conscious of childhood obesity?
Both my babies were chubby breastfed babies. They thinned out naturally when they hit toddlerhood and are now both skinny, skinny kids. I think all those fat rolls are nature’s way of protecting them against illness. Most people love them and know they won’t last forever!! Enjoy them while you can
loading...
I had a fat baby too- he was just gorgeous! in fact he was that chubby when he got out of the bath we had to open the skin folds on his arms and legs to dry inside
He was tiny when he was born, 5 pounds 11, but by the time he was 7 months old he was 10 kilos- no he wasnt very ‘tall’ either! and at 7 months was purely breast fed. I, on the other hand, looked a little like a walking skeleton because he was taking so much from me. He is now 13 and a gorgeous tall young man who is very slender with extremely long arms and legs- looks a little like a weed now! but still shooting up so fast. So for those mums with ‘fat’ babies- enjoy them, they are beautiful and will be completely diferent as they get older! Just my 2 cents worth 
loading...
Sympathies. Same with my bubs. By 2 they were average but the first 6-9 months they were very roly poly and boy did everyone let me know! It was upsetting, to be honest.
loading...
My daughter was tube fed for 9 months as a baby, it has always been an absolute struggle to get any weight on her. My son is the opposite, he can easily eat 3 times as much as my daughter (3 yrs old), and he is only 16 months old! While he is sitting right on the 50% line on the growth chart for weight, I am astounded at how many people comment on how fat he is! If people see a perfectly healthy, thriving baby as fat, I think there is something seriously wrong with their perception!
loading...
He looks beautiful and positively slender compared to my luscious goddess baby. She’s 5 months and just hit the 9kg mark. She’s exclusively breastfed and I take it as a good sign that I make excellent milk. I had a big first babe at 4.2 kilos who was a massive chubber until he walked and is now 4 and very “normal”, then I had a 3.8kg babe who struggles to grow and is only around 10kg at 3, and then the last one was rubanesque as well. I’ve had the full gamut of comments from, you should give formula so they can lose/gain weight to OMG what do you feed them. One CHN also suggested a diet for my (then) 10 month old. People should just stick to “What a beautiful baby, he/she looks very happy, you must be so proud” Then shut their mouths.
loading...
My boy was a chubba and I loved it. He looked like he had rubber arms at intervals down his arms and legs. I used to say his thighs were like turkey drumsticks!! I did thin out, but now porky again – Dr says when he hits his growth spurt he should sort himself out (hope so) and not to worry. He is 14 on Sunday.
loading...
I love, love, love fat babies! Their beautiful, soft, pudgy thighs. The fat pads on the top of their feet and hands. Chubby cheeks that you want to squeeze. Swollen bellies full from milk. Just the best!
I say feed them a good, balanced diet and encourage them to exercise (when they can) and enjoy it whilst it lasts!
loading...
He looks beautiful and positively slender compared to my luscious goddess baby. She’s just gone 5 months and just hit the 9kg mark. She’s exclusively breastfed and I take it as a good sign that I make excellent milk. I had a big first babe at 4.2 kilos who was a massive chubber until he walked and is now 4 and very “normal”, then I had a 3.8kg babe who struggles to grow and is only around 10kg at 3, and then the last one was rubanesque as well. I’ve had the full gamut of comments from, you should give formula so they can lose/gain weight to OMG what do you feed them. One CHN also suggested a diet for my (then) 10 month old. People should just stick to “What a beautiful baby, he/she looks very happy, you must be so proud” Then shut their mouths.
loading...
This is life. We are all judge by our appearances first and foremost. It is why we spend all that money on clothes and makeup. We get judged on our clothes, hair, makeup, background, religion, opinions and so on. A baby gets judged by their weight, height, whether or not they smile much etc etc. We should be teaching our kids not to get worked up about this kinda thing and just be confident with who they are. All kids get teased in school. It is rite of passage. Whether it is because of their weight, race, appearance, personality, clothes etc.
I’m pretty sure there are worse things to worry about than your child being a healthy chubby baby.
loading...
I had the opposite problem with my now 8 year old – he’s always been on the small side, and skinny. I had people telling me to feed him formula to “fatten him up”!! My health nurse reassured me that he was healthy and meeting all his milestones and not to worry.
loading...
This is life. We are all judge by our appearances first and foremost. It is why we spend all that money on clothes and makeup. We get judged on our clothes, hair, makeup, background, religion, opinions and so on. A baby gets judged by their weight, height, whether or not they smile much etc etc. We should be teaching our kids not to get worked up about this kinda thing and just be confident with who they are. All kids get teased in school. It is rite of passage. Whether it is because of their weight, race, appearance, personality, clothes etc.
I’m pretty sure there are worse things to worry about than your child being a healthy chubby baby.
loading...
I sympathise. I had a child 29 years ago who was 10.5 lb, since I am 5ft and was a size 8 before and after the birth ( I had an epidural) I was astounded with size of my child.
I had an infection just after I went home, my gyno told me to go to the local pathology place and he would ring them with instructions. I argued with the nurse on duty for ages before she would finally look to see if there was a message from my doctor. The problem, my child was too big to be a new born. I had people comment that “shouldn’t he be sitting up by now” he was only 2 months old.
But how frustrating it would have been if I also got hit with he is overweight comment. All I can say is what I say to many victims of bullying, make a statement that befuddles and walk away. eg its his blood line all royals are large, or couldn’t you sustain you child while pregnant I hope he/she developed properly, gee drinking does make the baby really small.
Ps my BIG baby is a thin adult, but tall.
loading...