Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have named their baby* and released the first photo of him on Koraorganics.com.
According to People magazine:
It is indeed a son for Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom. Baby Flynn arrived on Jan. 6, weighing 9 lbs., 12 oz., says the model on her Kora Organics Web site on Tuesday, confirming widespread speculation. She also posts a photo of herself nursing “our beautiful little son.”
“I gave birth to him naturally; without any pain medication and it was a long, arduous and difficult labour, but Orlando was with me the whole time supporting and guiding me through it. I could not have done it without him,” she adds. “We are so happy and are enjoying our time together as a family. He is our little ray of sunshine. Thank you everyone for your beautiful well wishes and your lovely thoughts.”
.
I am thrilled for them. How interesting that she released a breast-feeding photo. I’m sure that will attract much comment. I think it’s a beautiful thing. That dreamy look on Miranda’s face is one I know so well and envy….there really is nothing quite like it…….
A TANGENT: While I do not want to take away from the loveliness of the news etc, there is a line in the statement that I wish wasn’t there:
“I gave birth to him naturally; without any pain medication and it was a long, arduous and difficult labour…..”
I know that when you are that famous, people are interested in how your baby came out. Whether it was vaginally or via the sun-roof. But I will be so sad if the declaration of whether or not you had drugs becomes a standard part of birth announcements.
Am I being overly sensitive? Picky? Defensive? Am I imagining and implicit criticism when women talk about not having drugs? Maybe I am. In which case, ignore me. This isn’t really about Miranda. Certainly not personally. I think she’s sensational.
To explain where I’m coming from: I understand this is an incredibly fraught and contentious area for many women. I’ve heard too many stories of too many women feeling like ‘failures’ for having pain medication. Whether or not you had drugs does not in any way make you a better or worse mother or make your birth a better or worse experience.
I had one of my three births without an epidural (because it wasn’t available no matter how much I begged) and I can honestly and PERSONALLY say it was the toughest and least enjoyable of my births. For me. Some women find none of their births enjoyable no matter how much pain medication they do or don’t have and that’s fine too. Means nothing in the scheme of things. Births are merely a blip on the parenthood journey. The first 6 weeks? Now that’s something a whole lot more significant that’s rarely discussed.
Any way, after my drug-free birth, I was complaining to a girlfriend about the lack of epidural and how I had to go through it without. And she said “But don’t you feel a little bit smug?” and I was taken aback. I didn’t feel smug at all. I’ve never believed She Who Gives Birth Vaginally Without Drugs Wins.
She who gives birth to a healthy baby in the best possible way for her wins.
Clearly, having no drugs was important to Miranda or why would she include it in her statement. So I’m happy for her.
So anyway, congratulations to Miranda and Orlando and baby Flynn. As I said in my post about Nicole Kidman yesterday, it’s a beautiful day when a baby is born, no matter how it comes into the world.
Do you think there is judgement about HOW a woman gives birth? Have you experienced it either in yourself or from others?
*Yes, yes…..I know this is another ‘fluffy’ piece about a celebrity and a baby and there will be a few predictable comments about Mamamia turning into Woman’s Day and covering too many celebrity stories this week. I know, what with the Golden Globes and Nicole’s baby news there has been a lot. But you don’t always get to choose when stories break, awards ceremonies are held or babies are born. As I mentioned in a comment on another post, to keep Mamamia relevant, we have to sometimes shelve our planned posts for the day and react to stories spontaneously. We try to balance the fluff with other stuff. And most days and weeks, we do! This week has just been particularly…..busy on Planet Celebrity.
Also though, I think it’s worth noting that often, a ‘celebrity’ story is actually just a way into a wider issue. Take a look at where the Nicole Kidman post went yesterday, into some fascinating (and contentious) conversations about infertility. And this Miranda post is no doubt going to turn into something more than a supermodel who has just had a baby….
Comments
590 Comments so far
Smart mouth mobile has yet to let me down. I have not experienced any dropped calls. Thank goodness for the unlimited texting feature, between me and my kids my texting is endless. The apps are simple and easy to download. I am satisfied with my service, there were no hidden fees or surprises when I got bill. You get exactly what you pay for good service!!!
loading...
Sounds like people are not confident in their own choices. Miranda was proud of her decision to partake in natural birth and I applaud her for that. I also applaud her for breastfeeding despite it not being “trendy.”
If you feel offended by positive societal views on natural birth or natural breast feeding, then you probably have a bit of guilt inside of you that you’re doing something wrong.
loading...
Regarding the breastfeeding, the comments which suggest that bottle feeding and breastfeeding are equal and interchangeable are simply not correct. I urge women to actually do their own research, and not to simply take advice from people you know. There is an overwhelming amount of evidence regarding the benefits of breastfeeding for both mum and bub. To name a few: it is easier for babies to digest, reduces risks of infections and allergies, and promotes correct facial development. For mum, it aids in returning your body to its pre-pregnant state (internally and externally), and reduces the risk of breast and ovarian cancers.
Bottle feeding has it’s place, but it is NOT an equal substitute. Few women are actually unable to breastfeed, and few women are correctly educated about the milk production cycle and how to promote this, but many of us are told that it is pretty difficult and to just ‘give it a go’. I beg new mums out there, trust your body, persevere! Seek help, because you are not alone, the ABA and private lactation consultants are just a couple of the resources available to you.
loading...
I judge women who have caesarians. In my head. I do it all the time. I have a scale – if you had an emergency caesarian, fine. If you had a planned caesarian due to some inhibiting medical factor, fine. But god help you if you had an elective caesarian because you had an obstetrician who thought your baby would be too big for you to push it out easily (SIL); you didn’t want to have the baby too close to Christmas and your first was 2 weeks late (acquaintance); or any other reason that in my head is trivial. Then, in my head, I judge like Judge Judy.
But really, I’m sure you’re all out there judging me about something too. I don’t have a problem with it. Maybe it’s that I still breastfeed my child at 15 months. Maybe it’s that I don’t pay any attention when my 7 year old rabbits on about stuff. Maybe it’s that I stay home and don’t really do much apart from look after my kids. Maybe it’s that I let my child play by herself in the front yard. Maybe you judge me because I call my girls beautiful every day and that is raising in them the expectation that the world will also call them beautiful, but (wait for it) – THEY MAY NOT BE EMPIRICALLY BEAUTIFUL! AND THEN THEY WILL BE SHATTERED!
Whatever it is, you judge, I judge, we all judge. We’re all smug about something. We’re all secretly ashamed of something (I haven’t cleaned my oven in 6 years). The most of us are scared we’re being found wanting, and spend our time measuring ourselves against others. There’s nothing wrong with it, if you just let it be, and don’t let it rule how you relate to people.
(By the way my SIL knows what I think about her choice of birthing, and knows that I think she’s an awesome mother).
loading...
Excellent post, so true!
loading...
I am wondering if anyone has anything to say about the breastfeeding. Personally, I feel that this is at least as damaging as the ‘natural birth’ comment. I support and applaud all women who choose to breastfeed. I also support and applaud women who choose not to do so. Having a baby is hard (and fulfilling and joyous) work. And while I understand that current medical thinking runs along the lines of ‘breast is best,’ this is not possible for some women, whether for physical or psychological reasons. Miranda Kerr is a Victoria’s Secret model and has breast implants. My understanding is that any woman who has had implants or a breast reduction will struggle to produce enough milk to feed her child and will generally have to supplement breast milk with formula milk. While I applaud and salute Miranda for giving Flynn as much breast milk as she is able to make, the implication that she stridently supports breastfeeding and ‘natural’ child rearing has the potential to make all mothers who are unable to breast feed feel like failures. This is not a Miranda Kerr problem; it is part of a larger problem with celebrities who disingenuously lead the public to believe that they are a little more perfect than the rest of us. Being a mother is hard enough, without the breast feeding or natural birth police making you feel that you are not doing enough.
loading...
Does she have breast implants? I thought that was just a rumour.
Re breastfeeding post surgery – there is a technique in breast augmentation where the implant is placed behind the pectoral muscle, resulting in less interference with the ducts, and therefore more likelihood of being able to fully breastfeed.
loading...
I have a friend with breast implants (and big ones at that – I don’t know what she was thinking but she loves them) who breastfed 2 babies until they were both two without supplementing with anything.
The ‘breast is best’ message is out there because breastfeeding rates are falling to low levels in the western world (Australia, the UK and the US mainly). If women who genuinely can’t breastfeed (and my best friend was one of these), there should be no guilt felt. But turning to formula should be a last resort. Go to google scholar and read some articles in respected medical journals about the benefits of breastmilk over formula. Many women simply don’t understand the massive difference between breastfeeding and formula, which is why the ‘breast is best’ message is so strong.
Maybe the reason she included the line about having a natural, drug free birth was so the media didn’t ask her over and over and over again in interviews?
loading...
Miranda has written a follow up post thanking those who sent well wishes.
It appears she may have felt some of the flak though because she also writes about how she researched the best ways to nourish her child and breast worked best for her and she goes on to say that it may not be best for everyone and everyone should do their own thing.
loading...
Get over your guilt ladies I can not believe Miranda is being criticised for a ‘natural’ labour. It appears that you ladies who have had intervention just can’t accept it. Start actually believing the stuff you’re saying….. It’s all about healthy baby and mum right so what’s the big deal?
loading...
Very cute baby – and its great to see a super slim celeb have a baby bigger than the average newborn size. Having had 4 whoppers myself (all over 9 pounds) its nice to see Miranda confirm what I have always said – its in the genes, its not always overweight mums who have large babies!!!!!
I also dont like the natural childbirth comment. I’m sure she’ll be crediting it to her organic diet and yoga. Hello, if the babies head cant fit through your pelvis yoga and organic food wont help a bit. And no pain relief? Good for her, but seriously medicine has advanced so much these days, there’s no need for drug free root canal! If someone told me they had drug free root canal I would think they were nuts so why boast about drug free childbirth?
loading...
It really upsets me when people talk about this whole “natural birth”concept. I gave birth to my two babies vaginally and my best friend had a caesar. I consider both to be totally natural forms of birth. That a beautiful baby enters the world to loving parents – now thats natural.
loading...
So what’s her address I’ll send her a medal!
loading...
lol
loading...
So Miranda gave birth naturally did she? So my two caesarean birth’s, without which my babies would have died, is unnatural then? I’m so sick of people feeling they’ve done something wonderful just because they had a VAGINAL delivery and looking down their noses, either accidentally or on purpose, at those who didn’t. Kate Winslet was so ashamed of the fact that she had a caesarean that she actually lied about it. Weeks later she explained it was because she was so devastated that she wasn’t able to ‘give birth’. How sad is that? I gave up training as an NCT antenatal teacher because my validity as a teacher was constantly being questioned as I had never experienced a contraction. I don’t consider my births to be unnatural and neither should Miranda Kerr
loading...
Do not confuse the word ‘natural’ with ‘better than you’, ‘judging you’ or ‘assuming that your birth was wrong’. ‘natural’ simply refers to a vaginal birth, with minimal intervention, and without the assistance of drugs. Not all vaginal births are ‘natural’ births either.
Obviously all mothers want to do what is best for their baby, and by having caeserean births, you did just that. And you have every right to discuss your births, and to be proud of the outcomes.
I fear, however, that natural birthing is becoming the new taboo. A woman barely utters the term, and mothers all around the world take personal offence! We should be striving for a society that encourages open, honest and judgement free discussion about childbirth- in all it’s vast and varied forms. None of which are wrong or bad. And the words are just that- words. Natural, vaginal, c-section. Whatever! A birth is a birth and the only outcome we should be worried about is the health and well being of mother and child. But we should be able to use these terms for what they are, without attaching our personal perceptions to them.
You shouldn’t have to defend your caesarean births, and Miranda shouldn’t have to defend her natural birth.
loading...
I agree with a lot of what you say but I’d put money on the fact that Miranda Kerr will never have to defend her ‘natural’ birth in the same way that I have had to defend my ceaseareans. It’s a sad fact of life that ‘natural’ deliveries are considered a trophy of honour while ceasareans are still a badge of shame. The fact that Kate Winslet felt so inadequate that she had to lie about her birth shows how far away we are from the ideal that birth should be non-judgemental. To be honest, the birth is the easy part really, it’s what you do with that baby for the rest of it’s life that’s the hard bit
loading...
Why do you feel the need to defend yourself? You would only defend yourself if you feel you’d done something wrong.
loading...
There is a unfortunately a whole swathe of popular opionion that believes I have done something wrong from the ignorant ‘too posh to push’ brigade to the radical ‘natural birthers’ who told me everything from my baby would have medical complications from the epidural to he’d grow up to be a serial killer because of his ‘traumatic birth’. He’s now 15 and so far neither seem likely to come true
Most comments regarding caesarean birth are negative ones. I’d be hard pushed to find some positive press about them. I’ve had to answer countless questions on ‘why I had a caesarean’ or from the less enlightened, why I ‘chose’ to have one. I bet Miranda Kerr will never be asked why she ‘chose’ to have a natural birth. Ho hum! I have no problem whatsoever with the birth choices I made, unfortuntely the same can’t be said for other people.
loading...
what counts is if the decision was the best for baby, not what suited the mother. And if that was a vaginal birth, caesarean, drug-free or epidural, so be it. A woman who refuses a caesarean when her baby is in distress becuase she ‘has’ to deliver naturally is the one i would be concerned about.
In regards to Miranda’s ‘boasting’ of her drug-free birth, in my experience woman always have something that they are proud about after they give birth (it is a big achievement after all) and i think it is rarely about how you reached a particular standard, but just that you survived without going insane! If she had needed an epidural there would have been something else that would have stood out to her. Me, I was proud that i didn’t need stitches second time round! i think people need to be more supportive of each other rather than looking for things to criticised
loading...
I’m proud that I can remember everything really clearly through my labour. Including the bit where the doctors checked me out and said “You’re at 9cm, but the baby’s breech and appears to be in distress” and I said “Righto, caesar then?” and off they wheeled me.
loading...
I think it is an achievement getting through labour drug free- i suspect that most people would want this outcome? It is the healthiest way to do it …..zero side effects for mum and baby. Sure it doesnt always work out that way and women shouldn’t feel like failures because their labour didnt happen 100% naturally but if your body allows you to just give birth and your pain threshold is strong and their are no health risks for mother and baby and you can just let nature takes its course than thats FAB! Thats what billions of people have been doing for years! It’s natural.
loading...
I actually read Miranda’s statement on her website and was impressed that she was happy to talk about having a natural drug-free birth and to describe it’s challenges. I also wasn’t suprised that she would want to have a drug-free birth if possible. I actually expected that. I also gave birth to my daughter drug-free naturally, so perhaps that influeneces the way I viewed this. But I don’t see a problem with people choosing pain relief during labour either. “Intense” is certainly a good word to describe child birth!!
loading...
I think it is sad that pregnancy and childbirth have become such loaded topics!
I am 20 weeks pregnant with my first child, and have been doing my best to be as well educated and informed as I possibly can. I am forming my own opinions on how I wish to birth and what I believe will be best for me and my baby. Repeat- ME and MY baby. I understand that the opinions I form will be irrelevent to some women, or in complete contradiction to their own. And I respect this.
Personally, I hope to natural birth, just as Miranda did. And if I manage to achieve this, I will be damn proud. I will shout it from the rooftops! But will I judge mothers who don’t/ can’t birth naturally? Will I be riddled with guilt or shame if I decide to take drugs during labour? Hell no.
Every woman has a right to choose how she delivers her child, and every woman has the right to change her mind if things aren’t going according to plan. Every woman has the right to feel proud of the way she births- whether drug free, some drugs, or all the drugs under the sun! Every birth is different and every birth is a grerat achievement.
So let’s not accuse Miranda of being smug, or assume that her being proud of her natural labour is in some way a dig at mothers who don’t birth naturally. She has a right ot be proud- as do all mothers!
loading...
I agree wholeheartedly with your comment. As long as mother and child are healthy, whatever avenue taken – vaginal birth or C section, drugs or no drugs – their overall health and wellbeing is the most important thing.
I also feel the same about breast-feeding / formula feeding – it is ultimately the parent’s decision. I’m surprised that in 2011, people are so close-minded and traditional about such topics. Throughout my pregnancy, I was asked every personal question you can think of from a range of people – some I barely even knew, and I was often judged for my responses (even by Midwives, who are meant to maintain a level of professionalism!). I truly learned from that experience, and now I am as neutral as possible to the pregnant women around me. I emphasise that every woman is different, and what the mother and father decide is “best” – not family, friends, strangers – counts.
loading...
You know normally I hate the whole smug mother thing – although in this case it really just came across to me as a young woman who was feeling very, very proud of what she had achieved.
I have given birth twice (once with the whole myriad of drugs available – epidural, gas and pethidine) and once just with pethidine and gas. I don’t think any less of myself or other women for taking the drugs because every labour is different and every pain threshold is different.
That said, i do really admire women who are able to get through it -drug free if that is their goal. I think there’s nothing nicer than having a birth plan and having it actually go to plan on the day.
I remember after the first time I gave birth, sitting in my hospital room and thinking “Oh my god..I did that!! and if I can do that i can do anything now.” It is really empowering.
I didn’t feel the statement was preachy or judgemental – just a really happy mum in the afterglow of giving birth to her first baby.
What a beautiful picture as well!!
loading...
I have been following this post for days and feel compelled to say one thing. There was a mixup at the hospital after my daughter was born so 12 hours after my emergency c-sec when the pain was peaking, all i was given was something a little stronger than panadol. Technically this was almost as bad as nothing at all but i don’t get to feel smug. I am happy for Miranda but agree with you Mia. Sure announce whether natural or not but drug free? TMI ! The rest of my story is bad too I was very ill and in a great deal of pain but I don’t advertise it! If this is has given Miranda a feeling of achievement, great. But why do we need to know? Okay rant over!
loading...
I can’t help but drawing parallels between this discussion, and the one on that article where the lady said bringing up a child was easy for her.
Please explain to me why one woman can say she’s used epidural, but the other can’t announce that she didn’t? Doesn’t that mean we still think less of those who need epidural? including the woman herself?
Why is it that it is more acceptable to whinge and tell horror stories, while positive stories get ostracised for appearing holier-than-thou?
It just baffles me.
loading...
I think if she wants to promote the fact she had a natural birth because she is proud of it that is not a big deal. Good for her if it is something she feels strongly about.
I personally think it is a naive view as it is not really a choice – or a sign of strength of will whether you have a drug free birth – it is luck. It just simply comes down to luck of the size of your cervix and the position and size of your baby.
Further I think it is very easy for one of the highest paid models in the world to make a statement like this on breastfeeding, as she will be able to stay at home as long as she likes and take her baby to work with her whenever she wants to continue feeding. This is in stark contrast to the vast majority of American women who have no access to paid maternity leave and are forced to go back to work faster than they would like.
loading...
Yup, I was going to have a drug free birth too. Ho ho – nature had other ideas – my son was 5.1kg. Without a c-section I would have died and he probably would have been disabled I was told.
But it’s nice to think in la la land that we have a choice in these matters.
loading...
I think some women judge how others give birth, yes. My first child, I had all the drugs but not the epidural (I was terrified of epi’s, still am, but I begged for one and by the time I could have one it was too late, so didn’t have it). With my other two children, they were both drug free (I had gas, but the midwives classed this as drug free, why, I don’t know)
I personally prefer drug free, because for me it’s meant shorter births, and that’s the part of birth I find hardest to deal with. My last child was my hardest birth. I came out looking really skinny (now I’m really fat!), and was walking around easily, etc. I went to the school with my bubs a few days after giving birth (walked a half hour to get there with a double pram, as we didn’t have a car).
One mum, who I know had a tough pregnancy and birth, said to me, ‘please tell me you had lots of drugs!’ I said no, I didn’t… I was about to tell her though that the birth was my hardest (and yes I acknowledge that others have it far worse), but then she just talked over me about how horrible hers was! I let it go, because I figured she needed to say it.
Some mothers do judge others for using pain relief. I’m not one of them. I know that sometimes it’s a case of, whatever gets you through it with your sanity intact. As long as baby and mum are well, that’s all that matters
loading...
health baby born and breastfeeding photo, she’s in absolutely mumma heaven. Let’s not COMPARE or judge sisters. Congratulations are more than enough.
loading...
i think the marathon analogy is a good one because if you were FORCED to run a marathon, against your will, or even if you chose to do so & it ended up being so horrendous you really regretted it, then you are probably not going to feel proud, you might even want to tell people how bad it was. But if choose to do it & are glad afterwards that you did, well then you might want to announce it & that will help give encouragement to other women who have that as a goal – some of those women are going to end regretting having it as a goal, some of them are going to be so glad they did. You just can’t predict it.
loading...
i’ve been thinking about this more & really I think it comes down to perspective. If you are having drug-free painful birth & you are thinking, like I did, how ON EARTH did I think I could manage this, this is horrible, or, like Mia did, where is my epidural??? Then it’s likely that afterwards you’ll think it was a bad experience. But so many women I’ve talked to, even though they’ve found the experience very painful, seem to have had a positive attitude towards the experience at the time & hence have a positive attitude about it afterwards.
I personally don’t believe you can simply ‘choose’ your perspective though. I really thought I’d done everything I could to develop a positive attitude to the pain of childbirth & in the end it didn’t work. I’m actually glad it didn’t work (but very happy for women who it does work for) because it meant the next time I had the painless drug-free hypnobirth. Just as Mia, probably thinks about it the way I did as a teenager – why should women have to put up with agonising pain during childbirth? You have pain relief when you go to the dentist & that’s nothing compared to some labour pain. I think all these perspectives are just as valid & sensible as each other.
loading...
You realise that some women experience more pain than others?
(Also some births can be fairly objectively described as awful experiences.)
See my comments below.
loading...
Lovely name, adorable picture…I just want to see his little face! Miranda is all about organic living, Buddhism etc, so ‘natural’ birth no surprise. Also, it’s worth noting that this isn’t a press release or article, it’s Miranda’s blog and she said what she wanted to say. The words weren’t mixed or interpreted by a journalist, like with most celeb babies. Good luck to them, and I resign myself to the fact that Orlando Bloom is well and truly off the market…*sigh*
loading...
Ooooh that photo makes me all gooey. I loooove itty babies & I loved breastfeeding… sigh. I think to say what she did is very brave, pregnant ladies are inundated with birth horror stories and some don’t actually know it is indeed possible for some lucky ladies to give birth with out pain relief, so good on her, she has every right to share her story.
loading...
I don’t have any kids at all so can;t weigh into the debate. She was obviously proud of it though…especially when her baby was MA-HA-SSIVE!! I doubt she meant it as an insult to women who deliver by other means. As long as you get a healthy baby, and you recover, does it matter?
loading...
Reading the comments on this thread I’ve decided that birth stories should be shared but NEVER compared.
- A two hour labour can’t be compared with a 20 hour labour.
- A woman who says “yeah, it was like moderate period pain” (I’ve actually heard this!) cannot be compared to the woman who feels tortured for hours.
- A breech baby whose mother dilated to 6 cm in many hours and swallows loads of meconium cannot be compared to the baby who slips out facing the right direction through a cervix that dilates to 10cm in a ‘reasonable’ amount of time.
- ETC ETC!
Every birth is different and we should never presume to know what is best for someone else.
I think the only comment we need to make about any birth story should be something like “Well done, congratulations”. ( Certainly never, “you should have done hypno-birthing and it would have been fine”)!
Love the photo of mother and baby. I wish I had one like it!
loading...
“shared by never compared”.
Wise words indeed.
loading...
Oh I love that, shared but never compared. Brilliant.
loading...
Just to throw a spanner in the works, what if the photo was of her BOTTLE feeding her bub LOL. As a mum who had to bottle feed, I would just love to see one celebrity have the courage to publish a photo of them feeding their child in what is a perfectly acceptable manner. Never mind comments about, eww, we can see her boobs, I am sure they would be pilloried for being less than natural. Sometimes, women just can’t win no matter what their choice! Each to their own peoples lol
loading...
Ooooh Meerkath, you may just want to put that spanner back in the toolbox before we bring out the breast v’s bottle debate!
loading...
Lol happy mum, I know, I just couldn’t resist!!! I have found that a lot of the posts on mamamia this week have been so judgmental, it has all got a bit silly!!!!!
loading...
loading...
I couldn’t breastfeed either. Just call me sahara boobs. Love the photo though.
loading...
my initial response to this was yes you are being defensive. I personally disagree with the statement ‘Births are merely a blip on the parenthood journey.’ Yes that is the case for you but not for all women.
But I thought about it a bit more & I can see your point. My first birth was like Miranda’s – long, difficult, no medication. And actually it was really a pretty horrible experience, I mean from another perspective it was amazing, & I don’t regret it because of what I learnt from it, but the pain was traumatic (& the humiliation of the way I was treated by midwives over the phone). So I totally understand why your epidural births were better, I really wished I could get an epidural at the time as well & I know the relief would have been incredible.
But, interestly, I sent a email with a photo of myself to the woman who ran my active birth classes, & I didn’t mention the trauma, just the fact that I didn’t have drugs. I knew she’d be pleased which is why I mentioned it. But ultimately I was being dishonest & just trying to impress her.
the 2nd time i gave birth i didn’t have any medication either but it was pain-free, ecstatic (using hypnobirthing). I tell as many people I can about this because if I didn’t know that this sort of birth experience was possible I would never had prepared for it & had it & it was the most beautiful, most spiritual experience of my life. It’s something I’m incredibly grateful for but it’s not something I’m ‘proud’ of.
I think the reason I boasted to my birth class instructor was because the pain was so horrific I wanted at least some pay off for it. But I’m glad that Miranda pointed it out because epidurals are associated with greater risk of intervention/c-section – there are two sides to this & plenty of women rave about how much better birth is with drugs so why can’t women who don’t use them promote their experience? Just because something is mentioned doesn’t mean we are being smug – it is just part of the whole discussion that helps to inform other womens choices. Mothers have different feelings about their birth experiences – some are proud they did it without drugs, some regret doing it without drugs, some are happy they did it with drugs and some are unhappy they used drugs. All of these responses are interesting & valid & can help us understand ourselves better. There is no right or wrong or better or worse way to do it or to feel about it.
this is a link to a story about my hypnobirthing experience
http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/birth/birth-stories/deprogramming-birth-20080624-2vwl.html?page=-1
loading...
I just knew this would attract a lot of comments, it seems when it comes to motherhood – there ain’t much sister in the hood. I totally agree with Mia’s comment about the first six weeks being ‘a whole lot more significant and rarely discussed’ – yep, lets just see how much it matters how you gave birth when you have had very little sleep, sore boobs and the life you had is gone and replaced with ‘baby groundhog day’. I like that Miranda looks serenly, amazing and her son is gorgeous – I have new baby envy, Mia! All the very best Miranda and welcome to the ‘hood’ – its a jungle!
loading...
what is it with this community loving these kind of topics !!! So predictable, so boring and so very very judgemental. She had a baby, the photo is beautiful, now lets move on with something a lot more meaningful and alot less judgmental.
loading...
well I hope I look as gorgeous and serene as Miranda does after I have my baby in July!
When my ob asked if I have thought at all about my birth preferences, I told him I’d go with the flow and do what ever he tells me to… but I want to do it with lots of drugs!!
Now I don’t think that makes me less of a mother than the women who do it with out drugs. I actually don’t really give a #$@* about how other women give birth- never have and never will. Who really cares what’s happening in the birthing suite next door?!
loading...
the photo, the declaration of drug-free birth, the fact that she is a model/celebrity all point to neediness- need for approval, need for attention/whatever. But good luck to her!
loading...
or maybe the photo point to the fact that she is a breastfeeding advocate?
What upsets me about the negative comments about the photo is that people don’t make the connection between their negative attitude towards breastfeeding in public & the fact that so many women have problems breastfeeding & the public health burden that flows from this. Yes there are many different problems women can have with feeding but feeling like there is something inappropriate or exhibitionist (how ridiculous!!) about it makes it harder for women to feel good about breastfeeding & to continue with it.
loading...
I’m all for breast feeding in public.. did it all the time with my 4 kids, to the shocked looks of many shop-owners, tradies at my house, members of the public etc….absolutely nothing to be uncomfortable about, I say.
My point is, if you post a picture of your ( celebrity) self breast-feeding and comment on your drug- free birth, you are inviting reaction, and possibly have a need for approval?
If that photo encourages women to stick with breastfeeding,great!
I’m just not convinced that was the reason behind the photo and article.
loading...
I don’t think mentioning that it was drug free comes across as smug at all.
It’s unfair to take glory away from a woman who is proud of herself for achieving something so many woman haven’t been able to. It is something we are all capable of doing ourselves with the right information and support. There are Hypnobirthing classes for example that would benefit many women. What ever happened to freedom of choice and being respected for the decisions we make?
I don’t see anywhere that Miranda mentions women who need drugs in labour didn’t try hard enough or anything like that at all, that is just self defensive behaviour from women who judge themselves. Education is the key and every birth is so completely different, it is impossible to compare one to another.
Congratulations to them! I think that natural birth needs to be spoken about in a positive light in the media more often rather than shunned upon, it might change the way women think about birth and create more positive experiences for many women.
loading...
Ooooh, the language in this comment is very revealing of an attitude that rates a drug-free, vaginal birth as ‘superior’ to others…..
loading...
Not at all…. It’s not being “superior” to be proud of drug-free NVD, and to want to share that with others…there is no judgement implicit here, but possibly lots of luck! All women who create and somehow produce a baby should be enormously proud.. and thankful. It’s sad that so many of us feel we are in some sort of competition!
loading...
Good for you. Like I said above, in la la fairy land it’s nice to think we have a choice. I was planning a drug free birth too – but it wasn’t to be. Such is life, aye?
Seriously – do you think people REALLY plan to have major operations or drugs if they can avoid it? REALLY??? I don’t think so. That would be a serious minority.
loading...
why does this kind of post evoke so many posts? that is my question
loading...
I think it feeds into people’s jealousy and personal insecurities.
loading...
very very sad. i agree it does prey on peoples insecurities and makes people question their own decisions. MIranda is genetically blessed and extremely fortuante. Lets be happy for her.
loading...
Lovely photo of Miranda and new baby. It’s great that she had the birth she wanted and is able to tell people about it. Like others have said below, it’s kind of disappointing when you feel you can’t share your birth story because doing so is interpreted as an implied judgement of others. I had a home birth, but don’t talk that much about it, because doing so seems to bring up all sorts of issues for people.
loading...
I hear you and can relate as I often feel disappointment at the state of sisterhood around birthing
loading...
I admire Miranda’s openess and honesty and think she is just being a new mum sharing her own expereince, story and beautiful shot of feeding her son. Obviosuly she would have had the best help with the birth, and assistance with breast feeding but I am truly happy for her and Orlando and wish them ongoing joy and happiness with their healthy baby boy. I think good on Miranda for been so honest and I think its up to everyone else how they deal with her statement. I think she is content, not needy as the picture shows she is glowing in new motherhood and it brings back for alot of us mothers how precious those first few weeks are and the miracle of life.
loading...
I think the photo is lovely, if only I looked that serene and glamorous a few days after giving birth!! I’m also happy to see a positive public image of breastfeeding.
I do think there is judgement generally about the birthing process (to drug or not to drug etc) and thats just the beginning…..
Sisters should stick together, no matter how we bring our babies into the world… and then even more so after that because looking after a baby can be the most challenging and the loneliest time of your life.
loading...
Flynn Bloom sounds like it should be a label on a white lacquered side table from Ikea
loading...
I tried not to laugh for fear of being unkind but I just couldn’t help it
loading...
Is it Flynn Bloom, Flynn Kerr or Flynn Kerr-Bloom? Kerr-Bloom! That’s even funnier!
loading...
I am not planning on reading the grinty billion comments cos I suspect lots of might be a bit whiffy with indignation : )
I just wanted to say tis a lovely pic
loading...
I get embarrassed when someone asks about my birth experience and I say I had no pain relief, I feel they will think I am showing off/smug. It honestly didn’t cross my mind to take anything through the contractions, yes it was painful but my body was managing. By the time it came to push I just figured I’d come so far without anything so I may as well keep going. It wasn’t planned that way, it’s just the way it turned out. I was so proud of myself until I realised that people often mistake pride for arrogance. I now keep the pain free detail to myself…
I also keep quiet that I am still breatfeeding my beautiful girl twice a day. She is only 13 months but for some women that seems too old.
If only judgement didn’t exist I think we would all be better mothers. It’s a sad world we live in when we experience shame at doing things that feel so right to us but are looked down on by others.
We are all great mothers, we just need to tell each other that
more often. And open our minds!
loading...
Em – you should feel super proud of both your birthing experience AND that you are still breastfeeding. I think you deserve a medal! There is no smugness at all in the tone of your post, and in someways it sounds like you are self conscious. Stand tall and proud!
Although I ended up having a caesar and it is looking like I will be ceasing breastfeeding at ~7 months, I don’t feel that I have done a ‘poorer’ job birthing/feeding. As you say, all that is important is that we support each other’s decisions…and also feel confident in our own
loading...
My daughter is 27 months and still breastfed twice a day. I meant to give up earlier but neither of us want to yet. I stopped feeding her in public about a year ago because I started getting nasty comments and disapproving looks… yet if I flopped them out on bondi beach it would be totally acceptable. I think people forget what breasts are really intended for!
loading...
I love how you say you keep these things quiet… and then feel the need to post about them
I’m not a mother – I couldn’t care less who gives birth with or without pain relief – but just an observation.
loading...
I understand what you mean about keeping quiet about breastfeeding beyond 12 mths.
My daughter is 14 months and feeds frequently thoughout the day and night. I am content with this but I have been shocked by the number of people who have recently asked me “When are you going to stop feeding?” It was like she turned one and the question came from all angles.
Keep up the wonderful job breastfeeding your beautiful daughter!
loading...
Many animals feed their young for 2 years or more. Why are humans judged for naturally feeding their baby longer than 6 months. Actually, some are judged for feeding that long! Go figure! Let mums decide for themselves and support each other in whatever decision is made.
loading...
Em – I think you are very lucky to have had options.
loading...
Beautiful post. So wonderfully said xx
loading...
I had my first baby without any drugs (silly silly me!!!). Took me 2 full days of labour so I guess you could call it arduous!
What surprised me the most was how after the birth the midwives made a point of coming into my room and congratulating me on giving birth like that. Towards the end I was actually expecting a medal – they were that sycophantic.
The ironic thing was (I found out when pregnant with my second) is that I should never have been permitted to have a natural birth in the first place, as I had back surgery when I was younger and if the labour had gone pear shaped I would have been in a life-threatening situation. So it is caesarean sections under general anasthetic for me (not likely to get me many congrats from those midwives methinks!).
My point being – each mother’s birth is individual and should not be judged. But I agree with Mia, the inclusion of the drug free detail in Miranda Kerr’s statement was unnecessary and to me smells a bit smug.
loading...
Damned if you do…. She’s just sharing her experience and either way someone is going to be pissed off. She’s not judging anyone else – her next labour could turn out very differently.
You’re not more of a mother if you have drugs
You’re not more of a mother if you don’t and do it naturally
You’re not more of a mother if you have a wonderful labour
You’re not more of a mother if you have a nightmare labour
loading...
Very disappointed with your view on Miranda’s birth statement Mia.
As others have posted before me, whatever way a baby is born is a miracle and a celebration and no judgement should be made on the mother (even if it was being proud of having no drugs) as we all do our best.
Whenever a celebrity gives birth I always assume it will be an elective caesar. I guess because the media portrays women who have had vaginal births in such a negative way. I have often seen in comedies, discussions’ coming up about women who have had more then 1 child naturally and it becomes a joke about her vagina. As a result, after having my son naturally (and without drugs) I felt I had to hide from people I felt would judge me, even those in mothers group who had disappointing birth experiences with intervention and drug, as I did not want to appear smug.
I am always surprised when a celebrity gives birth naturally with / or without drugs (it doesn’t matter). I just love seeing that support publicly for natural births.
We all go through a huge experience when giving birth, so can’t we all celebrate that instead of nitpicking?
loading...
That’s interesting. I’ve never felt that the media portrays vaginal birth in a negative way……
loading...
One would assume that models especially would push for a vaginal birth at all costs… i had a C-sec, and this scar is certainly not something that would look adorable peeking out of a pair of victorias secret knickers!
loading...
I don’t have anything to say about giving birth as I haven’t done it nor have any of my friends. But that picture is just lovely!
loading...
If this announcement makes anyone feel defensive about their own labour experience, I reckon it says more about them than it does about Miranda or the culture around giving birth.
I’m pregnant with my first and it’s on track to be a whopper. I personally feel so empowered by my choice to book a private anaesthetist to ensure I get my epidural at exactly the time I want it, I feel like shouting it from the rooftops!
Be proud of your choices ladies – as long as they’re the right ones for you.
loading...
Good for you Katie!!
I had an epidural for both my bubs and never looked back! Best invention EVER.
All the best to you.
loading...
Haha!
I wanted to KILL my OB when he sent the anaesethetist away because I was ready to push.
(I wasn’t, she was stuck and I ended up with a caeser).
(FYI my OB is alive a well and I no longer have the killer urge!)
loading...
My midwife cancelled mine as I was too far gone and I wanted to murder her! I can remember her leaving the room and I was saying to my husband (in a dilerious state) “Don’t tell her I need to push or she’ll cancel the epidural!” Upon her return she shared the good news that it was too late for the epi and I was going to have to grit my teeth and get on with it. Considering I had received an epidural for my first labour, I was absolutely petrified of giving birth drug-free!
loading...
Hot damn, what a great idea. Might steal it if I go for #4…..
loading...
Ahhhhhh BRILLLLLLLIANT IDEA!!
Can’t be bothered to go into my experience but if you have Mia’s Book – MAMAMIA – reread the chapter “A BITCH CALLED AMY” – and that’s pretty much what happened to me!!
Katie how did you find your private God, um, I mean Anaesthetist????
loading...
This conversation is kind of depressing.
Everyone’s birth experiences are so different. You only need to have a conversation with your mothers’ group or friends to discover that. Why should anyone be judged?
Some labours are short, some go on for days. Some are painful posterior labours etc etc. Some need medical assistance, some don’t. Quite frankly, take whatever you need to get through it.
I didn’t see any judgement in Miranda’s comments. I think we all project our prejudices onto others in these circumstances.
loading...
I COMPLETELY agree with Wendy.
If you have that much negativity stored inside you that your first reaction is to feel judged by a simple story of childbirth… You need to sort yourself out.
(And yes, I had a Caesarian)
loading...
I think Mia sums it all up in this one statement
“She who gives birth to a healthy baby in the best possible way for her wins”
People need to focus on delivering a baby in the safest possible way to ensure that both the mother and baby are alive after the process.
I’ve had 2 babies, both over 4kg. The first with an epidural and the second without and let me tell you, I’m scarred for the second experience.
loading...
Miranda Kerr makes a living from posing for photographs, people are interested in looking at her and hearing about her. I think she was giving the readers of her website some information on her birth beyond the regular weight, length, name. So she gave birth vaginally without pain medication – these are the facts!! Try not to be judgemental.
The fact that she put on a little lippie is no surprise (when you’re a new mum you need all the help you can get and when you look back at photos years later you want to be able to say “Wow I looked great!” – no one likes to look bad in photos).
A lot of people take photos when they are breast feeding – that’s all you seem to be doing for those early weeks of your baby’s life.
Sorry if I’ve repeated what others have said.
loading...
Hasn’t this issue been discussed enough? Let’s face it, people are always going to disagree about the safest way to birth. In my personal opinion only people who are insecure take offense at women brave enough to go drug free. Yes I think Mia women who dont, they are imagining they are being judged, but its not about that at all.
As a woman who consciously chose not to have drugs and to give birth in a tub/ and in birth centres for all of my midgets, I did so because I wanted to be completly connected to the process of giving birth to a child out of my VJ, and the birthing process is incrediby sacred, and spiritual for all involved, not just a blip in my experience of life. I wanted to be grounded in the experience. For me it was a no brainer that this was also the safest method of birth for my children and myself based on my own research. If people want to believe the AMA and that caesarians/ drugs are the safest means, then that is their choice and I accept it. But it will never be the safest choice for me because of my own research.
I have to say again, birthing is incredibly special, I don’t overshadow it with the experience of parenting -to this day my experiences stay in my mind like I had my kids yesterday. The strength & trust I placed in myself, my body, my partner and my babies will never be underestimated. I was a warrior in those hours.
For anyone who hasn’t read ‘The Red Tent’, read it, and embrace yourselves wholly and your inner strength regarding the birth of your children.
Finally re Miranda, I take no issue with her placing how she had the bub in her statement. Given her very committed approach to living consciously & organically it would have surprised me to see her give birth with drugs/ or caesarian. She is talking the talk and walking it, good on her.
loading...
I had plenty of inner strength heading into the birth of my first child – but that was not enough to prevent me from having an emergency caesarian though.
I also assumed birthing was to be a sacred and spiritual experience, and you are a brave warrior if it goes well and if not – well the spiritual experience becomes closer to a brush with death and you become acutely aware the the power of giving life is linked with the power of taking life away too.
Birthing choices are a luxury to us in the first world as when things go wrong we do have medical intervention which saves lives.
Let us remember in developing countries where there is not the access to medical intervention women still do die in childbirth. We have lost an auntie in those very circumstances.
loading...
Well that is a wonderful definition of spiritual – ‘ you become acutely aware the power of giving life is linked with the power of taking life away too’. Indeed, death follows life, that is the bittersweet nature of birthing a child and life itself.
Lilly & Molly Rae – I should clarify that caesarians would never be considered by me to be the safest first choice – as in elective caesarian. On my birth plan I always consented to caesarian if everything went pear shaped, so I understand your concern.
I also spat out some whoppers 8pound 8, 8 pound 6 and 9 1/2 pound. Inner strength, wisdom, being connected with the body, letting the baby fully ripen in the womb – that means for me alone, allowing the labour to come on naturally without being induced (as this leads to many more caesarians than necessary), meant for me & my body being completely ready, fully dilated etc. I went overdue 8 days and 11 days with my first and third. If I wasn’t with birth centres, there would have been more pressure to induce earlier, which I personally didn’t want.
Yes, caesarians are a vital tool for our use, I do not judge anyone for having them and I am not smug or otherwise for trusting in myself and my body. Even if I had a caesarian, that trust would still be there because I would expect myself to make necessary decisions in the moment, if that trust wasn’t there for you after having emergency caesarians, then I’m not sure what went wrong.
loading...
“If people want to believe the AMA and that caesarians/ drugs are the safest means, then that is their choice and I accept it. But it will never be the safest choice for me because of my own research.”
I was told when trying to deliver my 4.725kg daughter that if I didn’t have the emergency caesarian after a 19 hour labour in which I did not get past 8cm dilated, that my daughter or I could die… so I think you should acknowledge that in some cases it is the safest choice – definitely not the preferred option at the time but then in hindsight giving birth to a healthy baby is the most important thing.
It would never surprise me to hear that someone had a caesarian as you don’t know what happens during a labour – sometimes there is NO choice. Inner strength or not, if a baby isn’t going to fit through the cervix then it’s not going to fit through!! Unfortunately no matter how much “strength and trust” you place in yourself, your body or your partner… or how much you view yourself as a warrior, some births will require a caesarian, and often it can be against the will of the mother, but when told do it or your baby could die, you do it.
I envy those women that have been able to give birth naturally and hope that I can experience that with the birth of my next child, due in 19 weeks.
loading...
When referencing The Red Tent as something that might empower women about childbirth, it’s important to remember and mention that it is FICTION.
It celebrates women and childbirth and that’s great though.
loading...
Yes, of course it is fiction, and it also does mention caesarians, cutting of the perenium, so it does not just focus on natural birthing per say where everything is rosy. Its a great read and its inspirational.
loading...
She is damn right to be smug about giving birth drugfree to such a huge baby!
)
Personally,i secretly did too with my second baby (with the first one,they forced gas upon me),and i was able to get up and walk myself over to my room right away,where i stayed for 3 hours before going home,and on to a family party that same evening…even more smugness
Other women feel smug having a ‘intact’ Vag or not having to go through any pain after a C-section,and why shouldn’t they,i ask…
After all,like Mia put it so nicely,who cares about the birth at the end of the day…in the greater scheme of parenthood,it really loses any significance it may have had the minute you hold that baby in your arms,right?
loading...
…or maybe smug isn’t the right word,how about i replace it with ‘feeling proud of yourself’…
loading...
I agree there is a implicit put down for drugged births. Pain relieving drugs are for pain relief. Just get the baby out I say with the least pain and trauma. be a brave mum after that I say..
loading...
I disagree about there being an implicit put down – the majority of my friends have used drugs or had C-Sections, and I believe there is a general consensus in our society that its OK to use pain blockers and relief during labour. If you don’t, then you’re in the minority.
loading...
Drugs are not risk-free and have an effect on the mother and baby. They can also negatively impact the post birth experience particularly with bonding and breastfeeding as they block natural oxytocin hormones.
I have had two births, one with an epidural and one with only gas. The second birth was a bigger baby but I felt so much better afterwards and breastfeeding was much easier too. My baby was also more content.
Women should not be judged for using drugs or having a c-section (\and often they don’t have a choice), however a natural birth is a healthy goal.
knowing that others have done it may give women that boost to power through the pain. After all it is pain with a purpose.
loading...
Yes, well said AR. I think its important to have inspiration for the healthiest goal possible – and we do need more of it.
loading...