Amelia’s son is in love with the gay Warbler called Blaine from the all-singing TV show Glee.
That’s as surprising as bread at a bakery, says Amelia, because Blaine is a pretty handsome fellow. So the shock for many doesn’t come there. It’s the fact her son is seven-years-old.
So she blogged about it, anonymously, and then the Huffington Post picked it up. And then the world got involved.
And that’s where all the drama started. Parents saying she was encouraging her son to be gay, that she and her husband brain-washed him, that a seven-year-old couldn’t possibly be gay. And Amelia has calmly brushed aside all of that when the messages of support came flooding in. Thousands upon thousands, many adults saying ‘I knew when I was a kid, too’.
That’s when Amelia came to the conclusion that she’d been invited into the inner sanctum.
“It got me thinking and after awhile I started to feel like I knew this big secret that shouldn’t be a secret at all: Every gay adult used to be a gay kid. It’s not as if all children start off as straight until some time later when someone flips the gay switch. We are who we are from the very moment we are born.”
But you really need to hear her story in her own words.
Here’s part of a transcript from an interview Amelia did with ABC Radio National’s Life Matters:
Q: How did you, your son indicate that he had a crush on this very handsome high school student character?
A: Well, he is very handsome! He, did a lot of different things. He liked to hold his picture. We got him the Warblers CD and in that was a picture and he would take it out and say things like ‘Mummy he is so pretty’. He would refer to him as his boyfriend and things like that, the regular things they do…
Q: Tell us then, what happened, when you were talking on the phone to your relative about these observations?
A: I said ‘we’re not saying he’s gay and we’re not saying he’s straight, we’re saying we love who he is and every child should have that opportunity’ and my son’s voice popped up behind me and he said ‘yeah I am’ and I’m on the phone and I was all distracted and I said ‘am what baby’ and he said ‘I’m gay’.
The world stopped for a couple of seconds because that’s not what you expect to hear from your seven-year-old son … at least that’s not what I expected to hear from him.
Q: How did you respond to him?
A: At the time I just got down to his eye level and told him I loved him and he quickly ran off to do something exciting you know … it wasn’t anything momentous. My husband and I talked about it and we have very similar minds that people are who they are and we need to support them and celebrate them and love them and that includes our children.
Since then, whenever the word gay comes into conversation he will pop up and say ‘oh, gay, I am gay’ and he says it very naturally.
Q: The reaction you have had has been extraordinary. Some people have been very indignant that you have planted this idea in his head, that he is too young.
A: Well if you ask him what being gay means, he will tell you. He says it means he doesn’t want girlfriends, he wants boyfriends. He wants to hold hands with other boys and wants to marry another boy.
One of the reasons people get so indignant is that they are coupling sexual activity with orientation and while he is seven-years-old his knowledge of sex is rudimentary to the point that he has seen me be pregnant twice and knows that is where babies come from and that is it. It is not a sexual thing to him because that advanced sexual thinking is not part of his life but as far as orientation goes he sees that every day. We live in a very diverse community, we have been blessed with gay and lesbian friends so he sees gays and lesbians in his life so the idea is a very natural idea to him.
Q: Kids have that lovely fluid habit of morphing and responding to inputs as they age, so he might turn up at 12 and say he likes the girl next door, how would you navigate that?
A: We really don’t see it as something to navigate. Our son is who he is and that really is the end of the conversation. If he comes to me tomorrow and says ‘no, I like girls’ I would be shocked I will admit but there would be no second guessing.
Q: You have heard from a lot of young people, what have they said?
A: Especially at first I heard from a great deal of young people and some of the stories are good stories. I heard from several teenagers who had come out to their parents. One 14yo boy came out to his mum that day and his parents were great with it and he just wanted to write and tell me about it. Unfortunately I also get a lot of them that are much less fun and sometimes kids agonise it and tell me they wish they weren’t gay and wish they could change because then their families would be happy again.
Q: You make the provocative observation that straight children have nothing to announce.
A: Well, I just think that’s true. We expect little girls to want to play wedding with little boys and parents lead into it too. The instant one of our children have a friend of the opposite gender some parents make comments about ‘oh is that your girlfriend or boyfriend’ and it’s that way in all of society. When it comes to homosexuality it is something different and something other.
My writing reinforced to some parents and kids who deal with this that there is nothing wrong with them. There is something wrong with the people telling them that.
It became very important to me to make sure that as many children as possible heard the message there is nothing wrong with them, there is something wrong with their parents if they can’t love you for who you are.
What do you think of the way ‘Amelia’ has handled the situation with her son? What would you do in her place?








Comments
119 Comments so far
thanks amelia, my nine year old son announced to me today he is gay, and I told him i love him, no matter who he chooses to love. i told him that he maybe should not tell all his friends at school how he feels ( we live in a small mid western town). i only want him to have a happy and healthy life. so, i will support him no matter what!
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I commend her. She is being the best mother by supporting her son and standing up against those who judge her.
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How does a 7 yr old even know or understand what gay is? Ok, he says it is boys liking boys, but does he really know the essence of it when he doesn’t even have an understanding about sex? Amelia is admirable for sticking by her son, but she also says she would be shocked if he turned around and said he was straight. Why? Because it is not cool? A 7 yr old is still very much influenced by adults around him and I sense the parents are chuffed by the fact their kid might be gay. Good on them. But at 7, in 5 years he might well have a crush on the girl next door, yet this whole post makes it sound like that would be so terrible.
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I knew when I was 5, and so did my family.
We also knew i was left-handed, blue-eyed with dark blonde hair.
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I first commented on Amelia’s story on another site. My son is three, and he loves dancing to Lady Gaga while wearing flashing horns, plastic beads and my sisters shoes. He dances to Glee, Beyonce, Britney, does all of our hair and pretends to put makeup on. People have asked me ‘Aren’t you worried that it’s making him….’
To that, I say three things.
1) The word is gay. Say it out loud, it won’t hurt you.
2) As far as I’m concerned, if he’s gay, it already happened. Nothing I can do about it.
3) I wouldn’t care if my son turned out to be gay. He’s awesome. He loves music and art and people. Sure he loves Britney and Beyonce (weird, because I don’t) but he also loves Queen and the Foo Fighters. Regardless of whether he’s gay, he’s my son. It’s my job to love him, and I do, when he’s singing along to Katy Perry or playing dinosaurs in equal measure.
I only hope that if he is gay, he will see me as the kind of parent who will support him no matter what.
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Thank you :’) It’s nice to see messages like that
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Fantastic – great communication, we are learning to acceptsexuality early on and to be able to talk about it wonderful. I have three boys it might come up it might not either way I will love them for them. They are who they are and no one should be judging either way. As a society we should just accept it it’s so normal, just normal we love who we love no matter the gender.
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What a great Mum!
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Hats off to Amelia and her husband.
What wonderful, supportive and nurturing parents.
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This is the most inspiring article I’ve read in a while. This to me is the future – a kid who can decide whether he/she is gay or straight in a completely natural way…this is the product of him being brought up from the beginning in an environment where there are gay people and it is all unquestioned and natural. And as for his age, well all kids are exploring their sexuality from a young age, so it’s no different from that in my opinion.
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A seven year old shouldn’t be watching Glee and he shouldn’t be labeling himself gay or hetro. This is absolutely ridiculous.
I totally agree that most mothers will be aware of their child’s homosexuality from an early age but surely you gently steer him/ her around obstacles and give them tools for dealing with life rather than holding them up as a trophy to your progressive hipsterism.
Mothers have been raising gay children since the dawn of time and, for the most part, have done an outstanding job. I wonder if Alexander the Great’s mother used to go around showing off her ‘gay aware’ seven year old.
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“Mothers have been raising gay children since the dawn of time and, for the most part, have done an outstanding job”
Are you fricking kidding me?! That majority of parents (at least in the last 100 years or so) have done an APPALLING job.
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Come to think of it, you’re right – a 7 year old probably shouldn’t be watching Glee. When I was 7 or 8, I watched Grease for the first time – but by watched, I mean my grandma played the musical numbers for me and fast-fowarded the video through the rest of it. Some of the content is probably a bit adult by most people’s standards.
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To be fair I’m a straight guy and I have a crush on Blaine… Have you seen him, seriously good looking!
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Completely not disputing this at all, but:
it makes me confused considering my dad just broke up his 35 yr marriage when he came out.
Does this mean he’s been so very, very far into the closet all this time? I don’t think so, and don’t know, because he has been v straight. There was a similar situation on Oprah or something I saw a few years ago and some sexuality expert was saying how people in their mid-years sort of soul search and learn new things about themselves…I don’t know….
Very confusing
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Yes, he probably was in the closet, or Bi at least.
But then again, maybe it was buried so deep he didn’t realise it?
Or then again again, maybe he just fell in love with a person who happened to be a man….
Point is, does it really matter? Is he happy? That’s all that matters.
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This post has come at a perfect time in my life for me. I’m pretty sure my 4 year old son is gay. I’ve agonised over it and read about it on parenting web sites. I’ve stayed awake at night wandering what the future will hold for my two boys. One with a developmental delay and the other quite possibly a homosexual. Two parts of society that fight so hard to just be considered equal. It breaks my heart that he may have to fight ignorance and question his being but I am feeling so much more hopeful with the current push within society to consider gay marriage.
Already my husband and one of my closest friends have ridiculed me for saying I think my son is gay but I don’t care. I got ridiculed for saying my other 4 year old son at the time had Autism as well. Completely different scenarios I understand but you know what? A mothers intuition is very usually right. I KNOW my son. And if I’m wrong you know what? By thinking it’s possible I’ve learnt something about gay rights and developed compassion for something I previously was rather ignorant of.
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love you,you are an awesome mum!!!
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I would love for my mum to be as understanding as Amelia!
We need more people like her in the world!
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I was brought up in a strict Christian family where I was taught that God was infalable. At my earliest, I used to think that God had made one huge mistake when he made me as I was sure I should have been born a girl. All I wanted was toys that were gender defined for girls. Cooking sets, dolls, pretty clothes and sparkly things.
I had no idea about sexuality at ages 3 to 8. All I understood was gender stereotypes. Blue for boys who played with cars and toy guns and pink for girls who played house and cuddled dolls. What other conclusion was I to draw at that age? God had messed up big time. I bit my tounghe and said nothing as you didn’t criticise God in my family. He knew all and saw everything.
Imagine my surprise when I grew up and stopped thinking I wanted to be a girl and discovered I just wanted what most other girls wanted. To hold boys hands and enjoy doing what two two boys who love each other find comes naturally.
I have now been with my partner for 16 years and have a relationship that has lasted way longer than any my strict Christian mother ever had.
All gay men know, looking back that they were gay as little boys too. They just didn’t all have a supporting family like this little boy does. I was born in 1965 and being Gay was not decriminalised in the UK until 1969.
I think society is getting better all the time and every one is on a learning curve together.
I’m open and never explain my relationship to others, but often we get asked how many years we have been together. Never are we asked if we are gay or a couple. We are seen by everyone as husbands together. Perhaps our joint shopping trips to the supermarket will make it easier for mums and dads to see that we are just the same as every other couple and offer them some hope for their childs happy future should they suspect them of being gay.
I wish this lady had been my mum.
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I teach grade three (8 and 9 years old) and I can tell you that there are definitely children who are exhibiting a gay preference at that age. I have a little boy in my class now who has told me that he wants to marry a male grade two teacher and that certain male celebrities are very handsome.
It is no big deal, let them be who they want to be.
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I definitely think Amelia has responded in the best way she probably knew how to do. Kudos to her.
Also, Darren Criss (Blaine) is so talented and good looking. Sigh.
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I think Alison is handling it just perfectly.
I am weary of the labels though, I’ve never been a fan if categorising people and especially a 7-year-old.
I’ve told this story before, but I really like it although I’m sure many non-straight people will disagree.
My gay history teacher once said in class that she believes we’re all potentially gay or straight. But that it’s a defining moment in our lives that pushes/guides us in on or the other direction.
I think it’s important not to determine anyone’s ‘destiny’ by giving them a label they ‘must’ then live ip to
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Wonderful original blog, I think it is important to note that Amelia did not label her son as gay for sure, rather it is a media interpretation of her stance that he shows some gay preferences, and she’s absolutely (and very healthily) in love with every part of her son, including the Glee character loving part .
I hope one day it will seem silly that posts like this even existed.
http://yveblogs.wordpress.com
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‘If he comes to me tomorrow and says ‘no, I like girls’ I would be shocked I will admit’
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I studied at the Victorian College of Arts i was doing my Bachelor of Arts in the dance department and i remember one afternoon in the cafeteria this little year seven boy went up to the counter to pay and he was just soooooooo gorgeously camp and clearly gay i whispered to my friend “should i tel him he is going to end up gay ? save him some pain?” This little boy is now a grown man whom i recently caught up with and i told him this story he remembered me as one of the “big girls” they called Betty Boop. After i finished my story his reply was “oh honey i already knew!”. My BFF finally came out to his parents at the age of 33 (they lived in separate countries his whole adult life). In fact his mother made him come out with the words “my darling i raised you i know you are”. It was such a beautiful moment i almost wish i was gay. Hetero people don’t “think” about the opposite gender sexually we just know what kind of person makes us smile and who we hope we can make smile too
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I think my 18-year-old brother is gay. The clues sound superficial – he loves Glee more than I do (I think he’s in love with Darren Criss as too!), listened to Josh Thomas’ coming out podcast over and over for months, reads Tom & Lorenzo, “likes” Brad Goreski (Rachel Zoe’s ex-protege) on Facebook… oh, and I borrowed his laptop once and accidentally glimpsed something indicative of his sexual preference.
He has not come out and it breaks my heart to think that it is probably something that he is agonising over because he is scared of the reaction he will get from our family. We are a loving family but we don’t often talk about “feelings”, and most of the men, especially in our extended family, have an “Aussie bloke” persona.
I have told my mum about my suspicions but she is in denial… I think because she thinks life would be harder for him if he were gay. Of course she will love him no matter what, but if she had to choose… she would choose straight. Which makes me angry, because I know my brother knows that too.
All I can do is be as accepting and loving as I can not only toward him, but in all facets of my life, so that he knows that when he does come out, he doesn’t have to be scared of my reaction. I can’t protect him from the rest of the world but I can be there for him as best I can.
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Your brother is very lucky to have you
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I think your mum just wants what every mum wants: what’s best for their kids. Until gays are wholeheartedly accepted by society being straight will always be the ‘easy’ option.
If I had a child who turned out to be gay I would love them with all my heart but I would always be anxious and heartbroken of the hate they may face from other people and the struggle they will have to endure to find out who they are and who they want to love.
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Firstly, I don’t think Glee is OK for a 7 year old to be watching.
Secondly, I think Amelia has made some very positive steps towards setting her son up to feel loved unconditionally and as though he can express himself however he chooses.
I recall my younger brother, aged 3, being particularly attached to an old nightie in the dress up box, and letting me (as his 10 year old bossy sister) dress him up, put make up on him, glitter, necklaces, tights, my old dance costumes… essentially he was my model. And then the little bugger would nick off and play in the sandpit with his trucks, so I would join him. It was also not a problem for him to go supermarket shopping with mum dressed like this… old ladies would say, “what a lovely little girl! Look at those blonde curls!” and mum would just smile. Not worth explaining!
Given how ‘gendered’ toys can be, I am grateful that when I asked Santa, aged 6, for “a farm truck, toy horses and cows and a new doll”, I was granted those wishes. Thanks mum, for not making us feel like we couldn’t play with certain things or in a certain way.
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What a lovely mum, son and family overall. I hope the little guy maintains the confidence he is showing now as it is so joyful to hear how comfortable he is within his own skin. With the wonderful support of his mum and dad it looks like he will.
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I’m gay and looking back I was aware of this from about the age of 7 years old. I had crushes on teachers etc. I found out the definition of ‘gay’ when I was 7. The kids were throwing the word around as an insult one day. I remember thinking “Oh, that’s what I am. I guess it’s a terrible thing so I should never tell anyone about my feelings”. It took me until I was about 16 to tell someone. My family still don’t know.
Sadly, I wasn’t lucky enough to have a mother like Amelia.
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I hope that you have love in your life now and the family that you have chosen to be around you. If not email me if you’re in melbourne, with BFF in London i have much love to share xxx
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That is so lovely of you missamoo
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Thanks Missamoo – If I was in Melbourne I would take you up on that offer
I’ve learnt to love myself, for the most part, over the years. Getting there!
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Brilliant!! when you come to visit i’ll be here x
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“He wants to hold hands with other boys…”
Aww, bless. I love that when you are a child, holding hands is the major sign that you are in a relationship.
As others have said, whether he actually is gay or not is not the point – the point is that he has two very supportive parents, no matter what.
And besides, Blaine is indeed a pretty fellow. I don’t blame the kid!
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Im slightly disturbed by the fact that people are quantifying or thinking that their child may be gay because they “like the colour pink”, enjoy “dressing up, pretty things and jewellery”, or because they “are more sensitive” or even because “they enjoy playing with girls underwear because it feels better” (whibh, by the way, it does. what man can say that their underwear is made from nicer material than girls underwear!?).
I find this horribly stereotypical. Being gay doesnt mean you come with a set of mannerisms, attributes, and likes and dislikes. As a straight female, I enjoy wrestling and rough housing (to the point i end up covered in cuts and bruises!), my favourite colour is green, I love sports, cars, my friends are all male and I HATE the colour pink, makeup, and anything shiny/pretty. Does this mean that I want to be male, or am a lesbian? No.
Whilst I think its fantastic that Amelia is supporting her son, I feel that too many people are viewing kids as small adults who know what they are talking about and having set ideas about who they are, when they in fact dont. A child of that age is at a time when they play and try different gender roles, career roles etc, to learn more about themselves, who they are, and WHAT makes them an indivudal. Who is to say that her son doesnt just relate to the character in the show, idolise him, and want to have all the attributes that he does? And again, who is to say that he son isnt gay?
I believe that a child should be loved and cared for regardless of sexuality, but im also saddened whilst people are more accepting of homosexuality, that the gender roles that have been forced on males and females are now being placed onto homosexuals as well.
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Agree. My 3 year old’s favourite colour has been orange for a year and a half now. Does this mean he’s confused about his sexual identity?
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While I wasn’t one of those kids, I have several gay friends, male and female, who actually did fit some of those mannerisms, likes and dislikes etc. For example, one friend joked that looking back, you can tell he was going to be gay from his first CD purchase: a Spice Girls CD when he was 7. While it isn’t indicative of sexuality (favourite things, mannerism etc.) many gay people when they are older, look back on their childhoods and say, “Look what a little future-gay-person I was.” It doesn’t mean that all or any of the stereotypical attributes are true, it’s just something that we look back on and sometimes laugh about, like, “Hey, I was hoping for Jess and Jules in Bend It Like Beckham to be a couple, too. How did I not figure myself out? Ha”
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Sure there may be signs but I think some parents in their desire to be supportive are relying too heavily on stereotypes. My tongue in cheek comment was a result of reading a comment from someone who thinks her son might be gay because his favourite colour is pink. I find it a little disturbing that if if your favourite colour is pink you’re a girl or gay and if your favourite colour is blue your a boy or lesbian? My brother in law is gay and didn’t tick didn’t many of the stereotypical markers we’ve now created to identify gay children. He never dressed up in his sisters clothes and his favourite colour was never pink but he knew from a young age that he was gay.
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Yeah. It’s not something that should be used to figure out if someone’s gay. It’s more that after people come out, years later, they look back and joke about how the signs were there.
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I think thats over simplifying what she is saying. How would you characterise someone that is gay in your own words? It’s really not that easy. By pointing out the obvious similarities that gay people exhibit doesn’t mean that straight people can’t have the same mannerisms.
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Well done Amelia. I think a lot of gay people will tell you they knew very early, and they start hiding it from very early.
I am wondering if that is going to happen with my son. I noticed that when my little boy was about 3 and half he used to sort his cutlery into blue and pink, and use the pink. For several months when someone asked him what his favourite colour was he said he didn’t have one. Then one day we were reading a book about favourite colours, and he confessed that his favourite colour was pink but boys weren’t supposed to like pink. He had been consciously hiding it in refusing to answer the question.
He was having a tough time in childcare at the time and I asked him why. He said the other kids made him feel like he was ‘broken’. He also said he doesn’t want to grow up to be a man.
It is never too early to let kids know that you love them no matter what and that it is okay to be whoever they want to be.
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He is lucky to have you as a parent
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I wonder if the mother would have reached the same conclusions and had the same reaction if her son fixated on a photo of a pretty/handsome sportsman.
As young boys are wont.
In a weird way, her conclusion is ever so slightly prejudicial.
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I’m sorry but why the hell would you let your 7 year old watch Glee! Seriously is there nothing else age appropriate to watch!! My teenage Nephews and Nieces find some of the content disturbing, how would a 7 year old decipher the content? I mean we are not talking about the Sound of music, this is a sexualised show focussed around teen sexual relationships. I think some of the girls on Glee are hot, if I was 7 and my Mum demonstrated that, that means I’m gay, then that’s what I am..Gay. Poor little guy, I might sound like a prude but in my opinion no child should be aware of social sexual relationships at 7, they should be able to play with both boys and girls with no sexual awareness. Let them be kids!
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Well said!
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I think you are confusion a sexual awareness with a romantic awareness, because nothing she mentioned sounded even remotely sexual. Of course kids are aware of romance by the time they are 7, even if they only ever consume G rated media. It saturates pop culture, even pop culture aimed at children. A lot of kids see it in their parents’ relationship, their grandparents’ relationship, in their aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings. Romance is modelled all around them, of course they are going to pick it up. Just because he is a little boy with a crush on a male doesn’t make it any more sexual than any other little kid crush. When I was 7, we played catch and kiss at school and the most popular boy and girl in my year were “boyfriend and girlfriend” (by which I mean he shared his lunch with her sometimes). That wasn’t sexual; it was adorable. My best friend and a family friend “got married” when they were 4. Nothing sexual there either, just more adorable. I thought my Year 1 teacher was the most handsome man in the whole world and had a ridiculous little kid crush on him. Still nothing sexual, just a 6 year old who worked really really hard at school to impress him.
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My son is 5 and a half. He has been wearing jewellery and female accessories since he was able to hold and put them on. He loves nail varnish, sparkles, sequins, glitter and is immediately drawn to clothing and shoes in the girls’ section of kids’ clothing stores.
He comes home from school and puts on a dress and heels. Often a long wig as well.
He likes being a boy and is definitely strongly masculine. At the same time, he is very sensitive and self-aware, especially in relation to his emotions.
He notices details – people’s eye colour, changes in their hair styles and if I wear a new item of clothing.
If he comes to me at some stage and tells me that he likes boys, then I will feel just as happy as if he tells me he likes girls.
My husband and I have spoken about this and we believe that he is PERFECT just as he is and that he is our treasured boy and we do and will always love him without condition.
Who knows what the future holds, but I will definitely not be surprised if he does identify as gay when he becomes sexually aware.
I have another son and he is very different to his older brother.
Each child is born an individual and as parents i believe that it is our/my job to raise them feeling secure, safe and proud of who they are and comfortable in their own skin.
We tell and show our boys everyday that they are perfect just the way they are. I want them to feel love, know love, and be free to experience love in whatever way feels right for them.
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That last line is just perfect.
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I liked this post and applaud Amelia’s approach to her son saying he was gay. Like she said “The instant one of our children have a friend of the opposite gender some parents make comments about ‘oh is that your girlfriend or boyfriend?’ Friends of ours had a daughter about a year after our son was born. Instantly they made reference to them getting married and even now (3 yrs later) they go overboard with making sure they kiss each other goodbye etc. On the other hand, they also went through a stage for about 18 mths of continuously referring to my son’s “gayness.” When we went to visit them, my son would play with cars, bikes, toys etc and of course, given that our friends had a girl, they were mainly pink things. They made constant comments about his “gay tendencies” and his “love of pink” until I had had enough. After a particularly stupid comment I said that I was happy if he turned out to be straight or gay but that given he was only a toddler who was totally unaware of sexual orientation, I didn’t think their need to label him as gay was appropriate. I also pointed out that their daughter had only girls, pink toys… if my son wanted to play at their house, what choice did he have but to play with pink things?
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I always find it bizarre how people think you could possibly “encourage” somebody to be gay, or you somehow “plant the idea in their head.” One of my oldest and closest mates is gay and I am the godfather of him and his partner’s little girl. They both are constantly bemused how many straight people think being gay is somehow a decision or happens at some particular juncture in life. Though my mate was snugly in the closet for thirty plus years, both of them can never remember being anything other than gay. For the vast majority of people, it’s certainly not a lifestyle choice, people are born gay or straight or bi. For the same reason isn’t it a bit moronic to be homophobic? It’s like hating somebody for being short or having brown eyes (they didn’t choose it).
Jase Gram (writehandman.com.au)
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My thoughts written by you!!. I would also add that if you ever tell someone the man you are dating is Bi they will always counter with “so he’s gay just in the closet?” Sometimes people just need to try to make it make sense for them
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I totally support the notion you are not ‘turned’ gay, you are ‘born’ gay but I like to think of it as you are born to ‘love’ and who you love has no bounds. You can love men, women and then men – people say they are born gay but what then if they have a straight relationship, everyone thinks well then you can’t have been BORN gay you just changed your lifestyle choice to fit what you want now…
No, you just changed who you fell in love with – and it’s currently a man, or its currently a woman, or hell it’s a pre-op transgender…it doesn’t matter.
It’s good the parents are supportive of their little boy & I am still trying to decide how to explain mummies and daddies and daddy/daddy families to my future children because I think it’s of utmost importance to explain all the options early on. The story doesn’t go “when a man and a woman fall in love they have a baby’ it isn’t that straight forward in real life so why sugar coat it and dumb-down the issue because they are young??!!
Go them and go their son for having a voice and an understanding of who he is….!!
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GREAT theory…. and a great comeback for the people who will claim you can ‘turn’ – obviously some people can, as such. Not as a ‘decision’ to live your life as gay or straight or whatever, but who as an individual you are attracted to.
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I hate the terms “straight”, “gay”, “bi” … I think human sexuality is such a fluid thing that labels are counter-productive. Unfortunately while there are still people in the world who think being anything other than heterosexual is a sin/evil/against the natural order, these labels will continue to exist and continue to be used in negative context.
I love your idea that we are born to love and that love doesn’t recognise gender.
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My almost 7 year old son has always been different to the other boys his age, and his school friends now. If he told us in the future that he is gay, my husband and I wouldn’t be surprised. We are both ok with that, as he is our son and we would love him however he decides to live his life.
For now, we just let him know that not all families are ‘Mum’ ‘Dad’ etc. Some have 2 mums, some have 2 dads etc. Some boys have boyfriends, etc etc.
It doesn’t come up often, just if something comes up on TV etc.
My main aim in exposing him to that info is simply so that he never has to feel like there is something wrong with him, if he is gay.
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The only concerning thing here is that this child is watching Glee. It may be possible that this child idolises the character Blaine and wants to be just like him. You know… “I’m gay just like Blaine”.
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I’m not surprised that a 7 year old may already have some notions that they’re gay. A lot of my gay friends say they knew they were “different” from an early age.
I am surprised that parents think Glee is an appropriate show for a 7 year old.
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Hi Kylie,
I’m really curious about which aspects of Glee wouldn’t be appropriate for a seven-year-old? I was just thinking about everything I’ve seen on the show and I honestly can’t think of much (perhaps, the sexual conversations in some episodes?) that wouldn’t be appropriate viewing for a seven-year-old… I am quite young and don’t have children, but I am genuinely interested in reading about these things (parenting articles/ conversations) and I’m just really curious about what you have to say about this? Thanks
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Hi Alicia,
I think this show is pitched at a teen audience. I let my 13 year old watch it but sometimes I don’t even feel it’s suitable for her age group.
It shows a lot of bullying eg: throwing slushies on the nerdy kids, vilification of gay teens eg: FAG written across a locker. Recently there was a teen suicide attempt.
Some of the parental issues are also pretty intense eg death of Finn’s father, divorce, remarriage. Little kids don’t need to be exposed to things like Quinn’s father disowning her for falling pregnant or Rachel’s birth mother rejecting her.
Seven year olds are still in infants school, they’ve not long outgrown Play School and Bear in the Big Blue House. I think there’s plenty of time for shows like Glee when they get older but every parent will make their own decisions.
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Thanks for that, Kylie.
That was really articulate and helpful. I like to think about these things and had actually forgotten about a lot of the content that you brought up. I watch the show more for the musical entertainment value but can now appreciate how it wouldn’t be at all appropriate for children… Even though you feel it sometimes isn’t suitable for your 13 year old, at least you are aware of the content insofar that you can talk through some of the issues with her and explain why things are wrong. I think that’s something.
Thanks for your response!
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My pleasure Alicia. Thanks for asking.
It would be great if they could do a “G” rated version with just the songs and dancing for younger kids.
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Hi Kylie2, just FYI – there was a dvd made of just the musical performances from the first season. It’s called Glee Encore. (Giant Glee nerd + I work in DVD retail!)
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I am the same about Glee. I really enjoy it, but I do not let my 10 year old watch it unless I have watched it first. The bullying and associated violence is something that I would prefer her not to be exposed to at this stage.
I think Amelia and her husband are wonderful!
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While I think she has done the right thing in being totally accepting, I wouldnt want to put a sexuality label on a 7 year old. Maybe this has come from the re reporting of the article, as I havent read her actual blog but I cant see that announcing it to the world is a good thing. Most of the comments below have been from people announcing their sexuality in their teens not before.
It might turn out that he is gay and always has been, and that is totally fine. But equally this might just be a crush and he is not gay. I feel for him that he will now have to live with the consequences of the world now labelling him gay through his mother’s blog. He is obviously not identified here, but I hope that the actual blog does not make him identifiable.
Let him just be who he is. He can define his own label when he is old enough to put his own words to his sexual feelings. As long as he understands that he is accepted no matter how he feels.
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GOOD ON YOU ‘AMELIA’!
Way to parent! I wish more people were like you, and I hope to be the same should that situation ever arise in my life.
Love is a many gendered thing!
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Totally awesome, my daughter came out to me when she was 14, but I knew long before that, I was just waiting for her to feel comfortable within herself to tell me. She was scared that I would think it was just a phase, or something she would grow out of, sadly that is how her father reacted at first and he was not supportive at all. But he came round when he understood that it wasn’t a phase. My daughter is now 22 and is in a legally registered civil partnership with her partner of 3 years. And as soon as Australia legalises gay marriage, there will be a wedding and I will be the happiest mother of the bride ever.
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Wow – just dealing with exactly this with my partner’s 18 yr old son. Found out yesterday that he has been with a guy for the past three weeks. When my partner and I first started seeing each other I asked him if he thought his son was bi. I wasn’t the first to ask.
Thing that makes me sad is he hasnt been able to be open with his dad. Dad needs a little time to wrap his head around the idea, and we are also a bit concerned as the fellow involved is a deal older. The son is quite emotionally vulnerable at the moment – only just split with a girl who he was engaged to and talking babies with after 2 months. Made us realise there is a lot bigger stuff going on with him.
Amelia, I applaud you for the way you have supported your boy. Its sad to even have to say that – we should all support or kids, no matter what.
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My younger sister came out to our family when she was in 1st year uni…she told me first but I already knew and just gave her a hug and told her that and that it didn’t change anything and I still loved her as before. Sadly my parents haven’t come to terms with it yet (this was almost 4 years ago) and even though they still speak there’s always a tension there because my parents are yet to say we accept this, they just choose to not talk about it. But I’m there for her and she talks to me about her girlfriend etc so at least she’s got someone.
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I just wanted to say that although I don’t identify as gay but that’s more that I just don’t believe in labels. I fell in love with someone, they happened to be a woman, before and after I have dated men. But when I was dating my ex-girlfriend my parents were very unsupportive and it was awkward and even though my brother and I aren’t very close his support meant a lot. I don’t know if ‘support’ is the right word because really he couldn’t give a hoot, but his not giving a hoot-ness meant a lot.
Just thought you might like to know because I bet your support means more to your sister than you know.
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My family and I suspected my daughter was gay from an early age. During any conversations about relationships with my kids, I always included gay references, such as when you’re older and have a boyfriend or girlfriend etc..Therefore, when my daighter experienced her first kiss (with a girl) at the age of 14 the focus was on the experience, not that it was with a boy or girl. She is now 18 and just moved in with her girlfriend of one year and attending University. She is a strong, beautiful, independent woman whom I am very proud of, as I am of my straight daughter. The only hiccups I have experienced during these years were from people, including family, disturbed that I believed my daughter was gay from a young age. Many people find this difficult to understand and think I put these thoughts into her head and ‘turned’ her gay! I also have a 9 year old son. He’s happy to introduce my daughters girlfriend as his sisters girlfriend. If there is any confusion, he is happy to explain that they are gay. His large group of friends, both girls and boys, are happy to accept this, but I have noticed that it is some of the adults (parents) that appear uncomfortable with this news.
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CONGRATULATIONS on being an awesome supportive parent, Amelia!!
Some might argue that he is 7 and may not know what he is talking about (which I completely DISAGREE with), but I guarantee there is a young teenage boy or girl who was wishing you guys were their parents after reading your story
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I remember when I came out to my mum at 16. She repilled “yeah I kind of figured that out a while ago, I was just waiting for you to be comfortable to tell me”. My mother always had a feeling but never pushed me into anything, she let me make up my mind.
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I love this! Amelia is a really really great mum for accepting her child for who he is, and I love that she is so down-to-earth and practical about everything.
on a side note, I went to a wedding a few weekends ago, and the whole groom’s family thought that I was a lesbian who had adopted my two-year-old daughter (who is bi-racial).
The only possible reason that I could think that they came to this conclusion is that I have very short hair (and obviously my boyfriend wasn’t present), and so fit some kind of stereotype in their minds.
I wish someone had mentioned it at the time, I would have had fun with it!
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woops about the photo!
thought it would be the thumbnail!
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Gorgeous picture of both of you
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Talk to any gay person and they will say they knew they were gay from a young age. The same with trans gender people. I think the parents have handled this brilliantly.
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I believe this to be very true. I think Amelia is a fantastic parent.I only wish my eyes were more open when my child was small. coming out at age 20 and then transitioning to a woman was hard work all around.It would have been easier if I had picked up on the earlier clues. It’s all good now and I have a happy daughter, with full acceptance from family and friends
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Brilliant. My first thought was….is Glee really appropriate for young children?
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Hell no! There is way too much sexual content on that show for a 7 year old to be watching and attempting to filter.
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Bravo Amelia! I think you have handled this perfectly! I have three sons and I’d like to think I will be just as amazing as you have been should any or all of my boys be gay. I couldn’t give a hoot what their sexual orientation is, I just want them to be loved!
Wishing you, your son and your family a wonderful life. This little guy has obviously had a great start to life and with you by his side will be a okay!
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I was prepared to figure that this woman was a bit clueless but after reading the transcript it’s obvious that this woman does have a clue after all………this little boy is so lucky to have such accepting parents.
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I think ‘Amelia’ and her husband have done the best thing for their son and accepted him for who he is! Hopefully if her son lives a open gay life, it will be without shame and guilt and confuing feelings that unfortunatley so many people within the gay community experience.
We are in the 21st C, and being straight, gay, bi, trangendered is ingrained in people from birth, it is not a choice and has to be accepted..
As a straight female, I never felt any pressure to ‘come-out’ or reveal to my close family and friends that I was straight, and it pains me to think that young gay teenagers, on top of everything else that makes life diffcult when your a teen, are distraught to the point of contemplating suicide to escape the negative connotations that society places on them for being attracted to the same sex.
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