dating

'Breakup text templates': The viral dating hack I've shared with hundreds of women.

The modern dating scene can be emotionally exhausting.

From steering clear of red flags to deciphering mixed messages and experiencing dating burnout — yes, dating burnout is real — inevitably, you’ll be faced with the dilemma of whether to ghost someone or not. 

The truth is that breakup texts aren’t fun for anyone, regardless of whether you’re the sender or the receiver. But providing the courtesy of closure, especially if you’ve both invested time and effort into building a connection, is the right thing to do.

As someone who's practically clocked in double shifts being single in her 20s and 30s, I'm a strong believer that if you've met face to face, it's not ok to ghost. However, you may find yourself having good intentions but struggling to find the right words to say, or type. As a result, you may postpone responding and eventually forget about it entirely. I call this 'accidental ghosting'.

Since dating is a game of numbers, being prepared for uncomfortable scenarios (like letting someone know you don't see a future with them) can save you time and energy. So, a few years ago, I devised a simple trick that made dating situations like this much easier.

Watch: Mamamia Out Loud talks about dating apps. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia.
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Picture this: a collection of breakup and dating texts neatly stored in your Notes app, serving as a lifeline when you're faced with awkward situations where you don't know what to say.

These texts are designed to soften the inevitable sting of rejection as much as possible. I've shared my breakup text templates with over 300 women, and the consensus is clear: having breakup texts saved in your phone is more than just a coping mechanism — it's a modern dating must.

Of course, there are certain scenarios where ghosting may be necessary. For example, if you feel that the other person may pose a threat to your safety or has behaved in a way that's made you feel uncomfortable. But if you need a text to let someone down, so you don't waste your or anyone else's time, I've got you. 

From the short and sweet to a perfectly crafted compliment sandwich — my favourite way to let someone down softly — have the following texts saved in your notes app so that you can just 'insert name' and send them.

1. For when you have nothing in common, so you want to keep it short and sweet.

"I think you're a great guy, but I feel like we're going more in the direction of friends. I've loved getting to know you and I wish you all the best!"

2. For someone who is really great, but not your person.

"I really loved meeting you the other day and I think you're a great guy. But I've been thinking, and I just didn't feel the chemistry for a long-term relationship, which is what I'm looking for right now. I want to be honest, as I'd hate to waste your time. I hope you understand!"

3. For someone you have mutual friends with.

"I really like spending time with you, but I think we're better off as friends. I want to be honest with you because you're really great, but I am looking for a long-term connection. I hope you understand and I'm sure I'll see you around."

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4. For someone you've been seeing for a few weeks so you feel the need to elaborate (a.k.a. the compliment sandwich).

"I've really enjoyed spending time with you over the past few weeks. But I do want to be honest, I think I've been so caught up in how exciting it is to meet someone as interesting and unique as you, but I've been thinking and I feel that we're better off as friends. I know we've spoken about how important it is to be honest with yourself and others when it comes to relationships, and I'm just not feeling that spark. I think you're a great person and I'd hate to waste your time."

5. For someone who seemingly just wants a pen pal.

"I really like flirting with you in here, but it's pretty clear that this isn't going to eventuate into anything further than DMs. And that's not something I'm interested in putting my time in. I hope you understand!"

6. For someone who isn’t convinced it’s over after you’ve sent the breakup text.

"I understand this might be a bit unexpected, but I feel like you're someone I can be open with and I really appreciate you as a person. There was nothing that you did, I just felt like there was something missing between us. I'm not sure what it was, but I know that we both deserve to find it."

Remember, it is completely reasonable to block someone if they are not respecting your boundaries and making you uncomfortable, even after you have made them crystal clear.

Are there any responses you'd add? Let us know in the comments below.

Sophie Howe is a journalist, beauty expert and brand consultant. For more from Sophie, follow her on Instagram.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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