There are 6 types of arguers, you should avoid number 3 completely.

Arguing is my love language. 

No, I don't mean "having healthy discussions", I mean straight-up verbally disagreeing with someone. Arguing can be passionate, emotional, dramatic, chaotic and even beautiful... that is, if it's done correctly. 

All good entertainment — whether it be your favourite book, TV show or film — has a big argument in it which ultimately leads to a happy ending. 

If you hate arguing (like most people), then I'm sorry to say but you've just been arguing with the wrong people. 

Having been in the business for 27 years (I've been disagreeing with my parents since before I could talk) I've noticed that everyone argues differently. 

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And learning what type of arguer I am has helped me turn volatile situations into, yes, I'll admit healthy discussions. 

I also believe that working on how I deliver my arguments has completely transformed my relationships.  

After experimenting with different argument techniques and reading some scholarly essays, I've come to the conclusion that there are six different types of arguers and knowing which one you are could help you deliver your mic drop. 

Here are the different argument styles and what they mean so you know what to look out for during your next showdown. 

1. The compromiser

The compromiser is who I strive to be when I'm in an argument. This person doesn't want to lose the argument but they also don't want to win. They want both parties to come to a mutual agreement and settle on an outcome together. 

A very basic example is if one person wants a pet dog and the other person doesn't, they might settle on getting a goldfish... or they'll still get the dog, but that person ends up taking more financial responsibility for it. 

Compromise-arguing is also known as lose-lose arguing but I think that sounds too sad. 

2. The low blower.

I'm keeping it real over here. There have been some and I repeat, SOME occasions where I have been a low-blow arguer. 

If you're arguing with a low-blower, things can get pretty heated. A low blower will either feel like they're losing the argument or they are so riled up, they go for the cheap shots.

You'll be arguing about something and suddenly they'll bring up that time you shamefully stuffed up seven years ago. Now, you're meeting them at their level and the jibes have completely spiralled to the point where both of you have forgotten what you were arguing about in the first place. Chaos. 

Being a low-blow arguer is unproductive, so it's important to recognise it so you can either stop it or call it out in someone else. 

3. The gaslighter.

I believe that gaslight arguers are the worst of them all. The gaslighter is someone who diminishes the seriousness of your argument. Although they don't actually argue back, they will tell you that what you're saying isn't a big deal or that you're silly for even bringing it up. 

It's their way of putting you back in your box so you don't try to argue with them in the future. Their hope is that the person who's arguing with them will feel embarrassed and back down so they get their way. 

Just steer clear of fighting with someone like this if you spot the signs, there's no winning here. 

4. The people-pleaser.

Similar to the gaslighter, this person doesn't really argue. But unlike the gaslighter, it's because they just hate confrontation. The people-pleaser will do whatever it takes to put the argument to rest. They will also do whatever the other person wants and then some. 

They'd rather both parties be happy no matter the cost. Unfortunately, some topics need to be worked through and if you're constantly trying to please people, resentment will build up.  

5. The silencer. 

Ahh the silent treatment. I know we've all been this type of arguer before where we say "nothing's wrong, I'm fiiiiine" while really we're thinking "I shouldn't have to tell you why I'm mad, you should JUST KNOW." 

Look, I hear ya. Sometimes instead of arguing we just don't want to speak at all. 

Unfortunately, not speaking but leaving everything up in the air, is still arguing. 

The worst thing about "I'm fine" arguing, is that both parties come to their own conclusion. One might think everything is actually fine and the other will think, "Why are they pretending that everything is fine?" 

Do yourself a favour and talk to them. 

6. The finisher. 

Some might argue (see what I did there) that this type of arguer — who will do whatever it takes — is worse than the gaslighter. Depending on the situation, I would agree with you. 

This arguer will use whatever means necessary to win the argument... even if they know that they're in the wrong. They can't stand losing. If they have nothing of value to say, they will just keep yapping until you back down. Using the phrase "yeah but" and talking over you are common tactics they'll use. To save my energy and overall happiness, I don't spend a single second of my time going against this person. 

Regardless of my subtle sarcasm in this article, no one really likes arguing (except if you were a debate kid). It is however necessary in some cases to get your point across and to understand where the other person is coming from. 

Understanding your argument style can help you get your point across - or know which people to avoid clashing with altogether. 

Happy arguing! 

If you want more culture opinions by Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature Image: Canva.