rogue

Oh. Melania Trump's annual White House Christmas decorations are very... funeral-esque.

Melania Trump has unveiled her annual White House Christmas decorations, and they have arrived to save 2020.

Mainly, because they're a very literal reminder that she and her husband will be... gone soon.

Melania is huge on symbolism - like that time she wore the "I really don't care, do u?" jacket to visit immigrant children at the US/Mexico border and that other time in 2018 when she enlisted handmaids to stand in the White House as Christmas trees. For legal reasons, one of these is a joke.

Under his eye. Image: @Pappiness/Twitter.

It's that time of year again. No handmaids were involved in 2020, but there are a lot of... urns.

The big reveal comes two months after recordings of the First Lady, released by former friend Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, included her saying: "Who gives a f*** about Christmas?"

GASP.

Watch: The White House decorations. Post continues below video.

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Lucky for Melania, 2020 marks the final time she must pretend to care. And goodness, has she gone all out in celebration.

According to the White House, this year’s theme, 'America the Beautiful', is a tribute to the majesty of the United States.

"From coast to coast, our country is blessed with boundless natural wonders. The timeless treasures represented in this year’s holiday showcase remind us of the true American spirit. Together, we celebrate this land we are all proud to call home," the official press release said.

There's a lot to take in, mostly from a minute-long video of Melania wandering around her home in high heels. IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

There's a lot of interesting (read: ridiculous) things to discuss, such as:

1. Melania does not own home clothes.

Is there anything more 2020 than 'home clothes'? Trackies, slippers, absolutely not a bra. You know? For many of us, home clothes have been the 2020 uniform.

But not for Melania. The first lady wanders around her home in Louboutin stilettos and full glam.

WHERE ARE HER TRACKPANTS. Image: Twitter.

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Can't relate. Image: Twitter.

Even the "I really don't care, do u?" jacket would've been more relatable in this scenario.

2. WE'RE IN A PANDEMIC.

In the East Colonnade (the handmaid's previous home), foliage representative of the official tree of each state and territory are held in... urns.

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I think the... reason this hasn't been well-received is obvious. 

Though personally, I choose to believe they represent Melania and Trump... leaving soon. It's a funeral procession for their administration.

But it is weirdly fitting with her past East Colonnade decoration choices, which have ranged from red handmaids to haunted forest chic.

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I MEAN.

SERIOUSLY.

URNS.

In 2020, who considered urns a good idea?

3. A fake kitchen.

In the China Room, which houses the historic collection of presidential china patterns ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, there is a home scene "set for timeless traditions and tasty treats, capturing the importance of time spent together during the holiday season".

At no point, ever, will this kitchen be used.

There are stockings on the fireplace for POTUS, FLOTUS and Barron too, which is interesting because they definitely don't want to spend Christmas morning together.


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On the bright side, Trump will be really pleased with his gift from Santa.

Image: Giphy.

4. Travelling is... not okay right now.

Upstairs in the East Room, visitors will see planes, trains, and automobiles race around the trees, to celebrate the fact Americans continued to travel throughout a global pandemic.

Image: Twitter.

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Stay home, or something. Image: Twitter.

Officially, it's to celebrate the United States' "monumental triumphs in innovation and technology" but... nah.

It doesn't read like that in a country where officials pleaded for people to avoid travelling for the holiday period on account of the GLOBAL PANDEMIC which is OUT OF CONTROL and has KILLED 270,000 OF THEIR CITIZENS. 

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5. Some truly cursed decorations.

First, I present this cursed fox:

"I will kill you in your sleep" Image: Twitter.

Secondly, this... bauble, which looks like two things. Neither of them good.

Image: Twitter.

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At first glance, it resembles a golf ball. Fitting, seeing as Trump is a big golf fan. 

But the more you look at it, the more it starts to look like... something we've all become very familiar with in 2020. Something a bit...virusy.

Oops.

Finally, there's... this small, glittery emergency room. I simply do not have the correct words to explain this further.

Merry COVID Christmas. Image: Twitter.

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6. Ok, some of it is actually really nice.

IT ISN'T ALL BAD.

If you make your way past the urns and escape the cursed fox, you will find some beautifully decorated White House rooms.

There's a tree decorated with the artwork of children and an entire room dedicated to first responders and frontline workers, and both are actually really nice (glittery emergency room excluded).

See:

Image: Twitter.

Image: Twitter.

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Image: Twitter.

Merry Christmas Melania. You'll never need to pretend to give a f*** again, and that must be the greatest gift of all.

Feature image: White House/Twitter.

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