It’s been 30 years since Phil Cleary lost his sister to domestic violence, but the former Victorian football star is doing his best to ensure her legacy lives on.
The horrifying events unfolded on the morning of 26 August 1987. 25-year-old Vicki Cleary had parked her car on a street nearby the kindergarten where she worked in a south-east Melbourne suburb when she was accosted by her ex-boyfriend, Peter Keogh.
Keogh stabbed her to death in the ensuing fight – but his plea that she had “provoked him” was successful and in 1989 he was given the meagre sentence of six years jail for manslaughter. He served less than four.
LISTEN: Rosie Batty knows the heartache of losing a family member to family violence.
This “sad inditement of male entitlement and the justice system’s failure to properly respect the rights of women” prompted her older brother Phil to push for change.
In an emotional interview with 1116 SEN’s Rohan Connolly on Friday, the former Coburg VFA player and politician spoke about Vicki’s death was a catalyst for change to Australian society’s treatment of women.
Phil recalled a fond memory when – just months before her death – Vicki had surprised him with a cake to celebrate his 200th match post-game.
“I turned and she was there with a cake with candles… to celebrate the game,” Phil told Connolly.
“We had such a wonderful time.
“Could you believe that 11 weeks later after all of that I’m looking at my sister’s body in a coffin?”
The shattering news of his sister's death hit Phil and his family hard, including his mum, who found it difficult to not imagine the terror Vicki must have felt in her final moments.
But it only got worse when the man responsible was found not guilty of murder "under the claim that she might have said something that provoked a man of his size and character to lose control and stab her with a knife that he'd taken to the place".
Angered by the injustice of this so-called "provocation law", Phil started a campaign to abolish it and "change the cultural landscape".
He said attitudes needed to shift as Australian society had "been born in an old culture in which women weren't properly respected", acknowledging that work still needed to be done.
"The good men have got to be taking a stand and not turning a blind eye to languages and jokes that demean women," he said.
Almost 20 years after Vicki's death, the law was successfully removed in 2005 and replaced by legislation that still had issues, but has now, thankfully, also been abolished.
When asked if he thought this was of a direct impact of the conversation he started after his sister's death, Phil said he believed it was "without a doubt" her legacy.
However, there is at least one more important step Cleary believes needs to happen before we as a society can call ourselves progressed from the old way of thinking about domestic murder.
"No one in 30 years has he said sorry... not only that your sister was murdered, but that our system expunged that man of guilt. That continues to hurt me.
"I've actually said to the State Government - it's time for an apology to the women we let down."
This year Phil has organised his own tribute to his sister and other victims of domestic violence.
The first "Vicki Cleary Day" will be held on Sunday 30 April at Coburg City Oval when the Coburg Lions take on the Northern Blues. At this free event, a minute silence will be observed before the match and other family members of victims of family violence will attend a luncheon.
"I'd love to see the ground full for that day," Phil said.
As for Vicki's killer, in 2001 he committed suicide.
"I wasn't sure whether I was happy about it or otherwise," Phil admitted.
"I wanted to catch him one day. I wanted to back him against a wall and say 'you did this and you got away with it, but you're not going to get away with it'."
Now, thanks to Phil's determined campaigning and the work of others who shared the same goal, no one will "get away with it" under the same law Peter Keogh did.
If you have been the victim of domestic violence or sexual assault you can receive help by calling 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732.
Top Comments
Vicki Cleary was not silent about her abuse
If Phil Cleary has a guilty conscience and feels the need to apologise to women then let him do so and good on him for doing it; but to intimate by the use of the word 'we' that all men need to apologise to women is extremely misguided and he should immediately apologise to men for suggesting they are engaged in violence domestic or otherwise.
Similarly because Rosie Batty had the misfortune to be married to a man who apparently engaged in domestic violence, it is impertinent of her to intimate that all men do likewise.
On behalf of all the good, hardworking, kind, decent men in our society I apologise to them on Cleary's and Batty's behalf.
Stand tall and take no notice of all this inclusive talk, you are guilty of none of it.
What an appalling & dismissive thing to say.
Annette I believe Phil is seeking an apology from the government amd law enforcement agencies for instituting flimsy laws that have failed and continue to fail to protect women from domestic violence.
I don't believe he's seeking an apology from all men in general.
I for one am appreciative of people like Phil Cleary and Rosie Batty who continue to play an important role in raising awareness and working tirelessly to prevent other's from suffering the pain of losing a loved one to domestic violence.
Ever made a sexist joke? Or said she cant do it, she female?
Then sorry, you are part of the problem.
That all feeds into why many men think violence is the answer. They hear all these messages that women are less, so how dare a lesser speak up or the like
If you can truly say, youve never made any such statements, then your a rare one who already knows whats what and your right, you arent part of the problem
I don't know what article you read, but it was obviously a different one to me. Nowhere did it say men had to apologise to women, 'we' is society. And you know what, society has failed victims of domestic violence, and still does to this day. So get off the 'not all men' bulldust, and reread the article as it was intended