Look, I’m not gonna hide the fact my children probably watch more TV than they should. And I’m sure your kids might have watched a bit if you’ve had any of the following thoughts:
1. Why is a five minute show about singing potatoes so god damn catchy?
2. I wish Dirt Girl and her pseudo-environmentalist-porn-star weirdness would just f&*k off! What focus group is even responsible for letting this thing on air!
3. Is Miss Rabbit somehow evading tax? Because she literally has 400 jobs! And is she even qualified to do any of them?
4. Wiggles, I love you. But can you guys just make these episodes longer please? I haven’t quite finished my coffee…
5. No Baby Jake, it’s not time for an adventure. It’s time for me to change the channel.
6. Why the hell did they have to go and animate Bananas in Pyjamas? And why they even still friends with Rat after all the shitty things he’s done?
7. How old is Ryder? Why does he so many dogs? And how is he bankrolling this entire operating?
8. Why are parents letting their kids attend The Squirrel Club with a large dog who cannot even talk?
9. Susie Sheep is by far the worst best friend ever and Peppa should ditch her.
10. WTF is a ‘PJ Mask’? Where are their parents? What is going on right now?
11. Mister Maker, you are no Art Attack. Stop trying to make fetch happen!
12. Why have Fireman Sam and the police of Pontypandy not charged Norman with arson and had him locked the f&*k up?
13. Anthony totally has the hot silver fox thing going on right now.
14. Do the creators of ‘Puffin Rock’ know their show basically translates to ‘Smoking Crack’?
15. Whatever happened to Johnson and Friends?
16. So wait — Shaun The Sheep and Timmy Time are same same but different? What’s going on? I’m so confused right now?
17. I could totally have a wine with Nanny Plum.
18. Speaking of wine... is that the Octonauts I hear? Sh*t yeah, nearly bed time!
This post originally appeared on House of White and has been republished here with full permission.
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Top Comments
Eddy Perfect, Play School. Ladies #amiright ?
To watch kids tv, we need a trip to planet bong with nanny plum
Hate animated bananas, ruined it