In 1918, a suffragette wife took one for the team.
Reconciling the state of her marriage and her political views, she decided to advise “young women” on marriage… and whether’s it’s a good idea after all.
The note is titled “Advice on Marriage to Young Ladies” and is signed off by “A suffragette wife”. It went viral after being spotted on display at the Pontypridd Museum in Wales.
The list advises women on how to negotiate marriage as a feminist… and it’s surprisingly still relevant.
She begins the list by suggesting marriage is a ~bad idea~ but acknowledges that for many women it’s essential, especially given that marriage remained practical rather than romantic for many women in the 1900s.
With that in mind, she provided a list of things to look for, and things to avoid… like footy players.
Here’s what she has to say:
- Do not marry at all
- But if you must avoid the Beauty Men, Flirts, and the Bounders, Tailor’s Dummies, and the Football Enthusiasts.
- Look for a Strong, Tame Man, a Fire-lighter, Coal-getter, Window Cleaner, and Yard Swiller.
- Don’t expect too much, most men are lazy, selfish, thoughtless, lying, drunken, clumsy, heavy-footed, rough, unmanly brutes, and need taming.
- All Bachelors are, and many are worse still.
- If you want him to be happy, Feed the Brute.
- The same remark applies to dogs.
- You will be wiser not to chance it, it isn’t worth the risk.
Considering how long ago this was written, it may be evidence that the problems of marriage are eternal.
After all, there are few ways you can interpret the desire for a “Window Cleaner”.
But there are few, minor, details we are confused about.
What, exactly, is a “Yard Swiller” and what does football enthusiasm have to do with an unhappy marriage?
What defines a man as a part of the “Beauty men” category, and what the heck is a bounder?
Translations aside, this would definitely have gone viral on Twitter if it existed in 1918.
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Top Comments
In Britain, a bounder is a person who tries to ignore the social boundaries. A social climber.
A yard swiller? Don't know, but guessing this may be a person who sits into the courtyard of a tavern and swills (drinks the way pigs do) beer or ale. . . . ?
In the early years of the 1900's the suffragettes were a movement of women who had had enough.
They'd had enough of being treated like domestic slaves, 2nd class citizens, sex workers, imbeciles, free child-care workers, no proper access to education, no equal pay for equal work and not having the right to vote in a society that relied so heavily on their contribution to a growing quality of life.
It was the start of FEMINISM.
Instead of being bashed senseless for having an opinion or saying NO to cruel demands - they decided to do something about it and group together in an attempt to raise these issues politically and legally.
Instead of domestic violence being treated as "pay no attention - it's only a DOMESTIC" this was an effort to have it taken seriously by the police.
This suffragette's advice was an attempt to warn young women of the perils of making a lousy decision when hooking up legally with a man.
"Yard swillers" could refer to cleaners - but also could refer to men who swill booze "in the yard".
"Football enthusiasts " were renowned for their drunken aggression - especially when their team lost so they'd take it out on their wives.
"Beauty men" - gay men perhaps ?
"Tailor's Dummies"- probably men who were vain and spent too much on looking fashionable.
"Bounders" were usually ( along with "Rakes & Cads" ) - men who deceived women by having numerous affairs and skipping off with their money & trust.
The next time some "old-school" male tries to convince you that FEMINISM is bad and only means that "loud, aggressive bitches with hairy armpits want it all" - you now have some historical context and some ammunition to validate the cause.
Those courageous suffragettes didn't chain themselves to the parliamentary gates just to "Destroy the joint".
The early Suffragettes were from the middle and upper classes and the push was for the vote (in the UK), not so much freedom from the tyranny of men and that list was directed at working class girls. Most of the Suffragette women were wealthy, privileged, many having had an education and domestic servants. It was one of the daughters of Emmeline Pankhurst (Christabel, I think) whose focus was on the miserable lives of working class women and she ended up estranged from her mother snd the UK movement. When it came to World War 1, they suspended their push for the vote and focused their energies on war relief, so I am not sure just how anti male their movement was.