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'A recipe for marital success.' Couple shares their six rules for a happy marriage.

Anyone who’s been married or in a committed relationship knows that they take work, trust, honesty and mutual respect; which are all great concepts in theory, but how do they really work in practice?

Ryan Stephens, a Twitter user who describes himself as a husband, father, and “voracious reader”, has shared and summarised in tweets, an article written by his wife, Alaina, called Six Rules to be a Good Teammate in Your Marriage, where she writes about the six tips the couple swears by for a happy marriage. But most helpfully, the article, and the twitter thread, details how Ryan and Alaina actually do it.

Posting on Twitter yesterday, Ryan said, “My wife and I have found that focusing more on being teammates and less on being soulmates is a solid recipe for marital success. Here’s a quick thread on the 6 rules we try to follow to be a good teammate to each other in our marriage.”

As an introduction, in the article, Alaina writes, “Soulmate is a silly term.”

“Not always a popular opinion, but one that I feel makes relationships, love, and marriage a bit more realistic and therefore, more likely to last. Life is not a Nicholas Sparks novel. Couples do not ride off into the sunset.”

Oomph, brutal – but also true.

Here’s Ryan’s Twitter breakdown of the six steps: so get ready to live your best married lives.

1.”No one should ever hear anything bad about your spouse from you.”

“It’s one thing to joke with friends about something trivial and quite another to demean your spouse’s character. Know the difference and always discuss the latter with your spouse and no one else,” Ryan summarised.

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2. “Over communicate.”

Ryan’s third tweet advised, “you cannot read each other’s minds. Never assume the other person knows what you meant.

“Give each other the benefit of the doubt when miscommunications happen. Double check if necessary.”

3.”Try new things together.”

Ryan tweeted that “even if one of you is typically more adventurous than the other, have fun with it.

“Trying new things gets an individual out of their comfort zone and is often easier as a couple, allowing you both to grow stronger together.”

Alaina further explained this in her article.

“Even if one of you is a foodie (Ryan) and one of you is a picky eater (me), that doesn’t mean you cannot have fun at that new Asian Fusion restaurant together.”

4. “Be each other’s champion.”

“Celebrate wins and encourage each other,” the couple encourages.

“Bring home champagne after a promotion at work, back each other up when engaging in that battle with your heathen toddler, work out together.

“Never cut the other person down when they’re struggling.”

5. Be grateful for each other’s contributions.

For Ryan and Alaina, gratitude for each other is key.

“Whether it be money, time, chores, childcare, or anything else, no one contribution is greater than another,” Ryan said. “And don’t keep score.”

6. Trust and respect each other.

The couple says this is “Especially in front of others, including your children.”

“If you do not respect your spouse in front of other people, why should those people respect your spouse?”

Ryan’s Twitter thread summarising the steps and sharing his wife’s article went viral; being re-tweeted 3,700 times, and liked 12,560 times. Most of the responses were positive, and appreciated the couple’s honesty.

“I love all this pointers,”one person wrote. “I can attest to this in my marriage. It’s so important to over communicate to avoid hidden assumptions, which kills a lot of relationships.”

Another tweeted in agreement, “I always remind people to talk to their significant others. Tell them what you’re thinking, especially if you’ve changed your mind about something.”

But the last word goes to Alaina herself, who concludes her article by saying that essentially staying married is a choice you both have to make.

“Whether you love them or hate them on that given day – and trust me, there will be days that you hate each other – choose to stay married.”

If you want to, of course.

Do you have any marriage tips? Tell us in the comments below.

 

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