An Australian journalist and mother has penned a powerful plea to “society” about the damaging messages they are sending to her one-year-old daughter when they question the mark she has on her forehead.
Sam Squiers‘ daughter has hemangioma, a bright red birthmark on her forehead that has extra blood cells, but typically fades over time.
The Channel 9 sports reporter explains in her letter, posted to her Instagram account, that the remarks made by grown women to her daughter, Immi, undermine her own work to teach her that appearances are much less important than character.
“I’m trying to send out the message about how strong, courageous, smart, determined, resilient & beautiful she is,” Squiers told her followers.
“The messages sent now help shape who she is, how she behaves &, most importantly, how she views herself.”
Squiers explained that strangers are constantly commenting on and questioning the mark, for example saying “Eew! What is it?”, “My neice had one of those, it grew so much she lost her eye”, and “Well, it doesn’t seem to detract from her personality”.
She stressed none of these comments are helpful, and whilst she understands they come from a place of interest and are not made with harmful intentions, they’re nevertheless “sending a damaging message”.
“You’re telling her that what’s on the outside is important, to judge from what you only see.”
“I kinda feel stupid mentioning this because a hemangioma is NOT A BIG DEAL! It’s like a freckle or beauty spot or I don’t know, like a cheekbone. But you’re making it out as though it’s something more.”
Noting that while Immi is only age one and does not yet understand the remarks being made, or that she even has hemangioma, she soon will.
Squiers ended her letter by signing off as a “proud mum” and then added in the comments: “PS. Like I told the third stranger who made a comment about it at the supermarket today…we’re actually really fond of it, it suits her and is her special spot.”
Top Comments
you don't have to go down this road dearest mother to Immi. You can't control what other people will say or do, ever. So be ready to send your message to that little beautiful Imogen. What you believe, and what you say as a mother is more important than any other. Focus on counteracting through what you say and do. I would also suggest not shying away from answering the questions people pose. The comments and questions will keep on coming I guarantee it. People are people. How you handle those questions will either install confidence and trust in your daughter or not. It's all in the way you interpret and frame it.
The daughter of a friend of mine had one, on her cheek, which her mother had told her was a kiss from an angel. So whenever anyone asked what it was she would always very proudly say "it is my special angel kiss". She was quite sad the day it faded away.