When Roxy Jacenko’s husband Oliver Curtis was sentenced to two years in prison after being convicted of insider trading in June last year, the mother-of-two thought it would be best if she told her kids that their dad was in China.
However, when she decided to take her three-year-old son Hunter to visit Ollie as a surprise, she realised that she would have to stretch the truth a little more.
Speaking to Mia Freedman on the latest episode of the No Filter podcast, the business woman said, “I took Hunter there to visit him…I told him we were going to China and we went on a plane – I was like ‘45 minutes to China!’”
Listen to Roxy Jacenko tell Mia Freedman what it was like taking her son to visit his dad in jail.
Curtis is currently doing his time in the Cooma Correctional Centre, 5 hours south of Sydney.
“Ollie was standing at the outer fence…because apparently when you’re in jail you walk the fence, because there’s nothing else to do – you keep walking…so we get there and I get Hunter out of this taxi – and we walked towards the fence and there was a mexican standoff.”
“Hunter was probably thinking ‘Why is my dad all in green?’ and ‘Oh China! Very interesting here, not much around...a lot of high fences” Jacenko said.
The three of them got to spend three hours together before the bell rang and the visitors had to leave.
But Pixie, 5, who hasn’t been coping well since her dad has been away, didn’t get to go.
“I didn’t tell Pixie because it’s my duty is to protect her.”
“She’s 5, she understands separation - to have taken her into that environment and then have had to go...no.”
So how did she stop Hunter from telling Pixie?
“I said to him when we get home ‘Right, don’t tell your sister, because she’s going to be very upset she didn’t come.’
And he didn’t say a thing.
Listen to Mia's full conversation with Roxy here:
Life hasn’t been exactly easy for business woman and author Roxy over the past 12 months. The founder of Sweaty Betty PR was diagnosed with breast cancer, Oliver went to jail and she became a single mother.
She’s also had to keep the lie about where Ollie is going for the sake of her kids.
Sure, she could tell them, but as she says in the games her kids play - the badie always goes to jail, and she doesn’t want her children to see their father that way.
“As a mother, if you have children you have an obligation. I would forgo my own happiness for my children's happiness. If I had a choice, I probably would have done things very differently...I wouldn’t have had children until this situation was sorted out because it’s not right,” she said to Mia.
But what happens if someone at school tells Pixie where her dad is? How is she trusting the world to keep this secret for her?
“Unfortunately you can’t you just have to hope people are kind.”
You can buy Roxy's three books from iBooks at apple.co/mamamia, where you can also subscribe to all our other shows in one place. Roxy will be hosting her 2017 ‘In Conversation Seminar’ on PR/Digital/Business in April, for ticket information:office@sweatybettypr.com
Top Comments
My father is currently in prison, it's a very confronting thing to deal with.
As Roxy highlights, there is an immense conflict between a family member going to "where bad people go" and how you feel about them. I struggle with this as an adult, I cannot imagine how much harder it would be as a child. We need to trust that Roxy knows her kids better than anyone, and has made the right call for them for now.
She will be more comfortable knowing dad is not away on purpose then the abandonment she would be feeling. And let's not start on the trauma of finding out dads in jail as school from mean kids.