sex

"I wore a vibrator in public for a day and let my partner control it."

By: Amanda Chatel for Your Tango.

My husband and I are big fans of sex toys. It’s not that our sex life is lacking without them, but they just add an extra special something to the already great sex life we have. Besides, let’s be honest, once you throw a vibrator into the mix, your partner gets quite a bit of help in making you come, so a lot of the pressure is taken off of them, and that’s a good thing, especially for women who have a hard time having orgasms during sex.

Recently, my husband and I got our hands on a We-Vibe 4 Plus. The We-Vibe 4 Plus, if you haven’t heard of it, is definitely a breakthrough in the world of sex toys. Not only does its shape make for an ideal snug fit (it’s shaped like a U, and sort of clips into place), it has a remote control for fun within the home, but also, and the best part of all, it can be synced to your phone, too. What does that mean? Your partner can be anywhere in the world and control the speed and intensity of the We-Vibe 4 Plus as you wear or play with it. I know! I was just as confused, skeptical, and all OMG, too. So, my husband and I decided to put it to the test.

First we messed around with the remote control. It was a Saturday morning, so why not start the day off right? I was in the bedroom with the vibrator and he was in the kitchen with the remote control. It was really fun and exciting, but since the range, if we used the app, would allow for even more space between us, we just had to take our game up a notch.

It took us awhile to figure out how to sync our phones with the vibrator. It wasn't that it was difficult, but the necessary notifications to connect us, kept ending up in our Spam folders. But then we got it together! So, it was time for us to really get the party started.

Once it was quite clear that my husband could control the vibrator when I was on the first floor of our unit building (we live on the 5th), I ventured outside to do, of all things, errands. With my vibrator clipped in place and a tight pair of yoga pants for even more support, I went to get my dry-cleaning. Just as I reached in my wallet to pay for it, my husband, from back in our unit, turned on the vibrator. I immediately went into panic mode. Could they hear the faint buzzing? Was my crotch visibly vibrating? Could they notice that I was blushing?

As a means to quell my own paranoia, I immediately brushed off the vibrating sound as my phone, which I'm sure they couldn't even hear, but you know, neuroses is a cross I have to bear, and I feverishly dug through my bag pretending to look for it. It was all very flamboyant and dramatic of me, and completely unnecessary, but then my husband turned off the vibrator, and I managed to gain some composure.

Next, I headed to the pharmacy to pick up a few things and, of course, halfway there, the vibrator was turned back on, then off, then on again, then off. So there I am trying to walk in such a way that would keep my vibrator from wiggling it's way out of my, well, vagina. There was no one on the street during this part of our experiment, so I was able to enjoy it far more. I felt like I had a dirty secret; a wonderful dirty secret, and not only did I feel like I was sex on the move, but I felt sort of vulnerable in a good way. It was really hot for me to think of my husband at home, enjoying this game as much as I was, but in a different way.

As much as I enjoyed the wandering around doing my errands to keep things spicy and surprising, I knew the best place for me to really enjoy it would be if I went to a bar, sat down, and got a drink. I knew sitting, without the concern of the vibrator somehow wiggling it's way out of my yoga pants, would allow for much more relaxing enjoyment … and it did. Oh, how it did. It wasn't quite orgasm great, because I don't think I could relax enough to climax in a public place, but it definitely felt good, and with my husband at the controls, the surprise factor was one of the best parts.

After a little while, I decided to head back home, with the vibrator buzzing the whole way, because, as I'd find out, he'd thought he turned it off, but had not. Obviously, we both need to work on this bit. He needs to learn how to use the app better and I need to learn to relax.

Takeaway? It was awesome. It was freeing and exciting to take our bedroom play into the streets, even if I couldn't completely be at ease with it. I know that we won't make it a habit of using the We-Vibe 4 Plus in such a way, but it was definitely a fun experiment. Since my husband and I spend some time apart because he's from Paris, a sex toy like this is going to make our long-distance relationship feel, in some ways, less long distance. The sexual connection this particular sex toy offers is far different than a lot of the other ones I've experienced and, as one who writes about sex, I have a decent size collection of toys for the sexy times.

Personally, I think the best sex toys are the ones in which both partners have an equal part in using it. We-Vibe 4 Plus is definitely a perfect example of this. Everybody deserves a happy and healthy sex life, and an app and remote-controlled orgasm is just the ticket.

When it comes to spicing up your sex life, do you have any advice?

This post originally appeared on Your Tango.

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