Raising boys is easy.
Hand them a footy, teach them that boys don’t cry and then engage in a bit of roughhousing to toughen them up. Right?
Not so much.
We teach girls to follow their dreams and tell them they can do anything they want, but cringe when boys want to do ballet past the age of 10. Parents put so much effort into raising strong feminist daughters, and so little thought into how to raise a feminist son.
Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo discuss how to raise a feminist son on the latest episode of the This Glorious Mess podcast:
‘Huh? Men can be feminists?’ I hear a gaggle of resistant blokes say.
And this is what we need to remember: men are every bit as important to this fight as women. Without them, the fight for equality will grind to a halt.
We need to raise feminist sons because that’s the sort of men we want in this world.
We need men who love women, and not just for their bodies. We need men who aren’t afraid to love fashion, or be nurses or any other traditionally feminine roles. We need men who never say things like ‘fight like a girl.’ We need men who don’t hit women.
A recent article in the New York Times provided a guide to raising a feminist son and it’s been widely shared among parenting circles.
It comes from an intelligent cohort of neuroscientists, economists and psychologists, and well, it was some pretty good advice.
Let him cry. Give him role models. Share the work. Teach him that ‘no’ means ‘no’. And never let him use ‘girl’ as an insult.
But it made us think… Isn’t that just raising a good person?
Because the two go hand in hand.
You teach your son to respect women not just to make him a feminist, but because that’s the right thing to do.
Feminist or not, a boy who teases girls for being inferior or claims ironing is women’s work will not turn into a man you can be proud of.
So let your little boy play with his doll. It will only make him a better man.
How are you raising a feminist son? Let us know in the comments.
For more parenting talk, listen to the latest episode of This Glorious Mess here:
You can buy any book mentioned on our podcasts from iBooks at apple.co/mamamia, where you can also subscribe to all our other shows in one place.
Top Comments
As a father of 2 boys I haved lived thru an era to witness the societal pendulum swing the other way and witness men become oppressed second class citizens in our society. As an involved single father I successfully sheild them from the gynocentric anti male discrimination now rife in our western society & school system. Men are now in higher risk categories on nearly every metric thanks to 100 years of feminism. Now nearly a quarter of all male deaths in Australia are because of suicide. The societal exploitation of the male biological imperative and 2nd class treatment of Australian men by Australia courts are a major reason male mental health is in such a nadir. Thankfully most young men now have lived to witness what a women & the state can do to a man's life. Their entire lived experience; having had front row seats to the sad show of their father's destruction at the hands of their mothers choices, the strong arm of family courts & pickpocket fingers of the child support agency. As a parent to boys it's crucial to show them how to protect themselves from this kind of exploitation & inform them of how slanted the law will treat them should they ever fall foul of it. Unless of course you want this for them also? Furthermore more recent changes sweeping across Canadian & UK law will mean a women can make blatantly false accusations against men to in effect weaponise the state against a man with no obligation to be cross examined or even produce evidence to back up her claim with no statute of limitations & no consequences for lying or wasting limited taxpayer funded resources. Women are becoming legally 'untouchable' with family courts default ruling in a females favour while common law courts employ policies of lenient female sentencing. Feminism is imbueing women with aura of risk no sensible thinking man would be prepared to take onboard. Men who want a future are going their own way.
I think you need to see a therapist, mate.
you have completely misread the feminist message and you are spreading propaganda against the movement towards equity,
It's not me portraying anything. Rather feminism portraying itself accurately as a major risk factor for the mental, financial & social well being for men & boys. Fear is not really a factor also as men can easily manage risk thru education & simply going their own way. I simply see it as a parent's duty to forewarn their children of all avoidable and specific risks that can emerge inside their environment.
The "movement towards equality"? Oh I think you are mistaken. My comment wasn't about that most noble pursuit, Egalitarianism. But rather was an honest response to that most bigoted movement of male discrimination & misandry; feminism.
No, I won't raise my sone to be a feminist. I will raise him (and my daughter) to treat anyone the same regardless of gender (in most cases). "But thats what feminism is" you cry! No, it's not as highlighted by the recent treatment of the director fo the Red Pill.
Would you raise your daughter to be a MRA? Same thing. MRA and Feminism both want equality except for the extrme ends of both but I bet a lot of commentators on here would choke on those words.
I hate to break it to ya, but you're actually raising your kids to be feminists. "Feminism- the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes".
That gets trotted out a lot, very rarely applied in real life though. I agree that what it should be, but to often it's not.
The NY times article is worth reading, even if you do not consider yourself a feminist. I agree there can be two extremes of "all men are evil vs all women are evil" sometimes, but the article is quite balanced.To me its more than treating people the same, most parents do raise their children to treat people the same, but boys are still falling behind both academically and in their emotional well being.
Part of it is about allowing boys to express their emotions, reading to them etc - but also to celebrate their "maleness" by providing strong male role models and letting them engage in rough and tumble play.
Just like the one man's freedom fighter is another's terrorist; feminism means something else entirely to most men & boys.