I learnt a scary thing about ten-year-olds this morning.
Scarier than the fact they can hack an iPhone in ten minutes. Scarier than the fact a male version can eat a loaf of bread in one sitting.
I learnt that ten year olds are dating.
Am I naïve? Has this been happening for a while? Because frankly I was a little shocked.
I still have four years before my eldest son is ten. He can’t yet tie his shoelaces. I still have to help him cut things with his knife at dinner, and he will still happily watch an episode of Dora the Explorer if his two-year-old sister is in the room.
He can easily swim a 25m lap of a pool, but he still calls me “Mama” with a complete lack of self-consciousness.
I’m aware this won’t last.
I’m aware that his need to hold my hair when he is feeling nervous will probably be gone by the end of this year. That I will soon become ‘Mum’ and that it’s not long before he glances around to see which mates are watching before he kisses me goodbye.
But is it really only four years until he is dating? Four years until I have to worry about what is going on behind closed doors? Because I tell you, I am not at all ready for that.
I learnt this startling fact from the new rules set by a Sydney Primary School about the appropriate age for ‘boyfriend/girlfriend relations’.
The Northern Beaches Christian School has taken a stand on what they see as the “sexualisation” of young children by setting rules around primary students becoming boyfriends and girlfriends.
“This sexualisation at a young age was not something the majority of parents supported,” principal Stephen Harris told the Manly Daily.
“The school responded to the issue with the head of primary, Peter Grimes, telling year five students there should be no discussions of girlfriends and boyfriends.”
The paper has reported that parents have been told to keep a close eye on their nine, ten and eleven-year-olds.
Mr Grimes also told parents in the school newsletter “to forbid certain activities and never allow their child to close the bedroom door when someone of the opposite sex was visiting,” Mr Harris told the Manly Daily.
It is difficult to find research on the average age of ‘first dates’. A British report from way back in 2007 quotes 15 as the average age for a first kiss. I imagine with the dawn of the iGeneration and the easily found proliferation of information on the internet, this much earlier now.
Today schools are banning dating at the age of ten. This brings up a whole other minefield of questions I don’t really want to think about.
What does ‘dating’ for ten year olds entail these days?
Are these ten year olds kissing their boyfriend/ girlfriend?
And will they get girls germs if they do?
Over to you with this one. What do you think of this ban? Is it appropriate? Are kids even dating at the age of ten? Or is it just innocent child’s play taken out of context?
Top Comments
I remember having slight crushes in primary school and my daughter who is 10 next month has had very fleeting crushes the last few years. but it goes as far as telling me, telling a girlfriend and then as soon as it gets out she's over him. She has had a boy follow her around the last 2 years but she is not interested. I wouldn't disapprove of this particular boy as he comes from a lovely family and his mum and I are friends but I also wouldn't approve of anything at the moment as they are both too young. Their school has a no student (close) touching policy, more for the opposite sex and during the older years etc 5&6 and has very comprehensive sex education classes for both students and parents. Voluntarily for years 3 & 4, compulsory for years 5&6.
In the 5 years attending the school i have never heard of a student relation ship taking place, its a small school and I'm positive something like this would have become gossip.
The most boys ever did when I was in primary school was fling a girls bra strap if she had developed early. They were always the ones who got the most attention.
I wouldn't expect my children to start dating until at least grade 8. Is that reasonable?
Yes, that is reasonable, and i totally agree with you. Year 8 is a pretty good age.
I didn't date at all during school, primary or secondary. These comments seem to make me an extreme minority lol!