EM: It's not the kid with the allergy's fault.

UPDATED: Recently, this picture of a Melbourne kindergarten student after an anaphylaxis reaction has been making its way around the Internet:

Comparison image via ABC Online.

Five-year-old Amelie King was exposed to peanuts at school on Monday morning after coming into contact with a child who had been eating the food. When she was called to pick her child up from school early, Amelie’s mum Joanne assumed that Amelie must have been injured in the playground, and couldn’t believe when she saw that her child was undergoing a mild reaction.

Joanne posted the picture on Facebook with the caption: “Should a parent have to fear their child dying on the first day of school?”

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In my opinion if you send your child to school with nuts in their lunch box when you know there are children in their class that have severe nut allergies and you’ve been informed that the classroom is a nut free zone; then you are a reckless, selfish and dangerous individual.

Usually I attempt to present my opinion in a calm and informed manner with respect shown to the opposite view point.

Not this time bitches, not this time.

I was chatting with a friend and she was telling me about some of her Facebook “friends” who post pictures of the healthy lunches they pack for their kids. (Seriously that kind of showing off is unnecessary. I mean well done, but ugh.)

In one mother’s picture, homemade peanut butter was on display. To some parents that peanut butter looked like a time consuming pretentious condiment, but to others it looked like a bowl of rat poison. Those “others” were the parents of the kids who have severe peanut allergies. And from what I can gather, a shit storm broke out in the comments section and the mother responded with some absolute crap about how her kid’s school is progressive and teaches students not to share their food.

Riiiiight. I feel so much better now. Because you can totally trust a bunch of 6-12 year olds to do what they are told. Unless every child is monitored with a hand cuff that releases a small electric shock whenever they attempt to share a delicious bite-sized nutella satchel – I am not buying the “progressive” bullshit.

Another mother commented that her school has a nut corner, for the children who want to eat nuts. Apparently they can wash their hands straight after in the sink provided.  Wonderful! I’m sure the child who has to carry 67 EpiPens with them at all times can totally feel safe with the knowledge that their life depends on LITTLE KIDS REMEMBERING TO WASH THEIR HANDS!

Also, a nut corner? Who let that happen? A fucking nut corner? Are you joking me? In my mind it’s like a kid’s version of a smoking area. We may even see nut dealers and nut pimps emerging. Just the fact that such a thing exists shows that the school knows it is wrong, so wrong and shameful that it must be done in a corner! Also, unless this corner has a super strength forcefield with Shield Agents protecting it during school hours, I suspect nut corner would be a hard area to contain.

You know what, I get it – nuts are in just about everything. It’s a pain in the arse to have to pack a lunchbox without them. Do you know what else is a pain in the arse? Seriously injuring or possibly even killing someone else’s kid. That shit is so shit so why would you ever risk it?

It’s not the kid with the allergy’s fault. Who knows why every second kid seems to be allergic to something. Science certainly haven’t worked it out yet. What the hell, science?!

I get that the world isn’t nut free, and at some point these kids will have to take responsibility for their health, but not in primary school. One in 50 Aussie kids has some type of peanut allergy, Australia has one of the highest allergy rates in the world.

At my child’s school there are photos of the kids who have severe allergies. You can literally see the faces of the kids you are putting at risk as you leave the classroom after drop off.  Everyday I walk under them and whisper “not on my watch you guys, not on my watch”.

When your kids get home from school, let them roll in nuts. Have nut showers, let ’em rub nuts on their nuts! For realz – just keep them the fuck away from school if you have been asked to. If you can’t, I may have you sent to the nut corner.

Em will soon be touring her new stand-up show “Divorce the musical!”

Adelaide, you can find out more here.

And Melbourne, you guys can go here.

Everyone else. Just keep your credit card fingers at the ready and stay tuned.

Does your kid have a nut allergy, or any kids at your child’s school? What do you think about ‘nut free’ school environments?