This week, it was discovered that Melbourne police were posing as window washers at traffic intersections to catch drivers illegally using their phones. There was an outcry about ‘invasion of privacy’, but really, if you’re doing something illegal in a public space, your privacy doesn’t matter.
The cops handed out 38 fines that day – and yes, that’s some revenue. But it’s also 38 lives potentially saved. That is why they did it: to save lives.
And we only have ourselves to blame for them having to be sneaky, because with statistics like that, it’s obvious We. Are. Just. Not. Getting. It.
That’s despite 40 percent of fatalities in car accidents being caused by people using their mobile phones.
But I get it, because five years ago, my father was number 60 on the state’s road death toll. His death was sudden, violent, and shocking. “Number 60” is an absolutely crap statistic, but I think of it every time I’m in the car. I don’t touch my phone. I let people cut in front of me. I don’t speed.
I realise not everyone has this a traumatic experience to keep them safe on the road – and that’s why I’m going to share the intimate details of mine.
My beloved father, Number 60, had a medical episode when he was driving, entered an intersection, was hit by an oncoming vehicle, spun around 180 degrees, smashed into a building, then ricocheted back into the intersection.
He died at the scene. He was 66 years old.
No, a mobile phone wasn't involved. But a fatal car crash was, and hopefully this story will make you think twice before using your mobile phone while driving.
Unless you've been the family of a motor accident victim, you probably don't know you'll need to deal with things like the Major Crash Investigation police department, and the Coroner’s Office. You don't realise that an autopsy report will be sent to you in the mail one day.
The fallout of a death from a car accident encompasses everyone. For example, nothing can prepare you for seeing your mother's face for the first time after police arrived on her doorstep to tell her that her husband of 40 years has been killed.
But that's just the start of the nightmare.
You might be unaware of what a dead body looks like, as I was. A dead body doesn’t look peaceful, or asleep — it just looks like someone you love who won't ever be a part of your life again.
By the time I was allowed to see my dad, he'd been refrigerated for 48 hours, so he was cold to touch. His organs had been removed for the autopsy, and he looked deflated.
This wasn't the man who gave the best bear hugs a daughter could ask for.
I learnt that the police keep the car for an investigation for months, and when they're done, you will need to accompany your mother to collect the personal contents - and the contents of that plastic bag from the police lab will include bits of shattered vehicle glass.
One day, in the midst of my desperation to understand what had happened, I demanded to read the police report. It was brutal and clinical, and the worst thing I’ve ever read. It seemed an endless document, whose only purpose was to give heartbreaking details of my father's death.
I'll never forget the images of dad's car in that report. It was unfathomable to me that he'd been in it. The memory of those photos has helped me keep my cool on the road many times.
I will never be okay with the fact that I didn't get to say goodbye. It made his death surreal, and confusing. When someone is torn from your life without warning, it feels like they have just vanished, and you're left wondering where they are.
But nothing could prepare me for the most crippling part of grief - regret.
I should have said this, I should have done that, when he was here. For a long time - even now - I couldn't forgive myself.
I don't deserve to be forgiven.
This regret has suffocated me for years, and still, writing this, it grips my throat.
I'm so sorry, dad, my mind still whispers. I'm sorry I wasn't a better daughter. I'm sorry your end was the opposite of the peaceful and dignified death you deserved in at least 20 years' time.
For years, I regularly visited the intersection where my father was last alive. I remember arriving one morning to see they had repaired the wall, so it looked like nothing had happened at all.
I have stood in the morning sun photographing the tyre marks, and have collected fragments of the crumbled vehicle glass which I could still find years later. There is a piece of that glass in my wallet, because it represents the last moments of my dad's life.
So, back to this week. For everyone complaining about undercover cops invading their privacy - do you get it now?
Do you understand they are trying to prevent you being involved in this excruciating heartache?
Do you understand your responsibility on the road to avoid accidents, and getting off your phone is a crucial part of that?
If not, let me be more blunt: most of the time, cars don’t kill people. Drivers kill people.
Don't let that person be you.
For more information visit Know The Rules.
Top Comments
People are stationary at lights- so stationary people can clean windows and conduct cash transactions.
It’s people driving and looking st phones that is the issue.
I also think it is daft you have to take your keys out of the ignition to talk on the phone. If you have pulled over and your not driving I fail to see the issue. Dumb rule that will not save any lives. And my mum also died in a traffic incident.
Sad story, however I don't see any connection between the author's father suffering a medical emergency and subsequently dying in a car accident, and undercover cops busting people on their phones while stopped at traffic lights.
I understand that looking at your mobile while driving is dangerous and terrible, but I think there is a vast difference between that and having a sneaky look at it while stopped at traffic lights.
How many accidents exactly have been caused by people on their mobile phones, while stopped at traffic lights? Not many I'd wager.
So, whilst driving a motor vehicle, you think it’s best to take your attention away from the road and turn it to your mobile phone?
How is that going to work at an intersection? Every car could just sit there, regardless of the light colour, because the people driving them are too busy just typing one more word of their “I’m running late” message to look up and see that they could’ve actually been moving? Yeah, that’s efficient.
If people aren’t on their phones, they could, oh, I dunno, amuse themselves by watching the road and driving with due care. They might even notice that there is a car entering the intersection illegally (for whatever reason) and NOT drive on through to write themselves off just because they have a green light.
Would work wonders for other situations too like not rear ending a car in front when approaching an intersection - you might see the brake lights come on if you’re not in a hurry to get your phone out! Life hack!!!
Those cops don’t exactly enjoy having to attend fatal accidents. They’d actually rather you not die like that. If they’re got to play dress ups to trick people into not breaking the law, so be it.
My condolences to the author on the loss of your dear Dad.
I’d bet a lot of those who are looking at their phones at the lights are doing it while driving too. And even though the cause of Nama’s father’s death was different, the aftermath is the same. Why take the risk?
Agree. Seems there are two stories being conflated in this article.
As an aside, I would never recommend families ever read official heath or police records if they are already struggling with complex grief. These documents can be negatively misinterpreted and perceived as being "brutal" or unfeeling, when in reality they are just factual accounts that lack emotion (because they are not written for a grieving audience). They are unlikely to bring solace. It is far preferable to meet with the people at the front line and discuss if you have questions and concerns. They can take you through the facts in a far more compassionate way (which does not leave you confused by technical details and language).
I’d also like to see how many accidents are caused by men/women cleaning windscreens at traffic lights! The cops’ tactic also creates unnecessary road risk. Men and women walking up and down the median strip causes rubber necking and possible accidents not to mention distraction for the people get to ng their windscreen ‘cleaned’. This is a step too far in my mind. Road safety isn’t a game.