What does the most expensive meal in Australia look like?

I love food.

Quantity, quality, whatever. If it’s edible, back it in.

So I’ve been dying to know what Danish restaurant Noma, one of the world’s best, would serve up in Australia for it’s 10-week pop-up in Sydney.

But mostly, I wanted to know what a $485 plate looked like. Yep, $485 to eat at the temporary Noma in Sydney, plus $195 per person for matched wines. It sold out within five minutes. I didn’t spend that money — I don’t have that money — but holy mother of lobster, was I curious to see what food is worth that pricetag.

As it turns out, $half-a-thou gets you a delicious collection of weird meats I’m not sure I could eat anyway.

Reading reviews from those lucky enough to dine at the pop-up for it’s well-timed opening on Australia Day, the 12-course meal was spectacular. And I’m sure it was. But here are the words that sounded a bit scary to hot-chips-with-sauce ol’ me:

Fermented kangaroo.

Magpie goose taco. (An Aussie bird, cross between a magpie and a goose. Oh. Good to know…)

Crocodile fat mixed with skin from “bad chicken stock”.

Sea urchin.

Shaved dried milk.

Chocolatey freekeh. (I can’t say freekeh without doing a body roll)

Ants.

Yep. Ants.

Look. I’m just trying to make myself feel better. I can look at the scallop tart (that was served with Lantana flower, with directions to eat the flower but not the stem because the stem is “mildly poisonous”) and say “Pfft. That’s only half a tart. I can get a whole fish pie from the bakery for $4”.

But I’m kidding myself. If someone offered me a free ticket, I would be all over that shaved dried milk (hmmm… or not? Makes me think of the white flakes that cake around the top of the milk bottle lid).

I’d especially be making a home inside the “Baytime”, a play on the Golden Gaytime with frozen raw peanut juice ice-cream and a caramel and freekeh glaze.

More expensive than a Gaytime, but definitely more fancy.

The verdict from all of the diners so far? DELICIOUS. A glorious, ingenuous display of native ingredients. Who knew ants were so tasty?

If anyone can spare me $485 so I can dine at Noma, I’d love you forever. In the mean time, Imma go and eat some bad chicken stock. What could go wrong?