lifestyle

This is for anyone who's ever had to pack up everything... and move.

 

 

 

 

 

By LUCY GREY

We are on the move. We are leaving the town we have lived in for the last three years and heading to greener pastures, oh wait, is that a euphemism for death? Because that’s not part of the plan. I am having a break-down about this and it’s fair to say my constant navel-gazing is sending my family and friends mad.

Specifically the reason they are so over me at the moment is that I have spent exactly the last three years bemoaning this very town and plotting my escape. We moved here for my husband’s job and I have played the role of disgruntled spouse to perfection.

I was born and raised in Sydney, and we moved here directly from the inner city, so the contrast was jarring to say the least. We arrived in The Bay (not Summer Bay, but we too have an enviable caravan park) with a newborn babe in arms, our meagre possessions in tow and set about settling in. For me, settling in largely consisted of ear-bashing many a poor soul who had the misfortune of sitting next to me at a dinner party about the long list of reasons Sydney is vastly superior to my adopted town, yep run a mile if you see me at a BBQ.

“There’s no decent coffee,” I moaned.

“There is literally not a shop open on a Sunday,” I cried.

“We have no friends,” I whinged.

“I miss my family,” I sighed.

And all these things have been true, particularly the last two. The most challenging part of the last three years has been learning to live without our circle of friends and family who were so much a part of our everyday life in Sydney. Do you ever go out to dinner with your partner and look at them and think, “I have exactly nothing to say to you at this moment in time”? Well expand that to your whole life and that’s been our experience, a loooot of time spent eye-balling each other over a bottle of wine.

I felt resentful that I missed out on accessing the support network that is so important in those hellish first few months of motherhood, I felt lonely and bored while my husband worked hideous hours in his new job (and probably to escape his wailing banshee of a wife), we were back in Sydney every opportunity we had.

And then one evening I was driving across the bridge that leads into our town, the sun was setting and the world was bathed in that ethereal golden glow that happens sometimes just before nightfall and it struck me what a physically beautiful place I was inhabiting. And slowly, slowly my world started to change, or more accurately, my mind started to change.

I went on long lunchtime drives through dairy country that was so psychedelically green it almost hurt your eyes. I found sweet country cafes with divine home cooked food and staff who asked your baby’s name and where you came from. I walked long, empty beaches littered with driftwood and awash with clean, salty south-coast water.

More pragmatically, I got a job and this is where the tide really turned for me. My job allowed me to become involved in a community that was welcoming and inclusive, my role was to help those in need, but it was them who helped me

And now we are leaving. Not returning to Sydney as I once thought was a forgone conclusion, but to another place and another story. And I feel bereft. I am sad to leave the town that patiently endured my derisive snobbery and slowly taught me so much about myself and my family, a town where I became a mother and grew into a woman who didn’t need skinny lattes and skinny jeans to be happy.

For this urban dweller regional Australia has added a dimension to my city-life that I never knew existed and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Lucy Grey is a mum to two lovely and naughty little girls and also a nurse. She lives on the South Coast of NSW.

Have you ever moved to a new place and felt isolated or lonely?

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Top Comments

Fee 11 years ago

I moved from Sydney to a small city Northern England over two years ago, and while I do enjoy the green surroundings, friendly Northern folk and the slower pace that a small city offers, I still think of my beloved Sydney everyday. I managed to go back for an extended holiday last year, and the sense of peace and familiarity was overwhelming. Granted, I am fortunate to have a fantastic network of friends and family in my new city, however I realise now that Sydney will forever be my home. From the cultural vibe, to the weather, beaches and of course, the beautiful city, Sydney will always hold a special place in my heart.


HVG 11 years ago

I've done the big move twice. The first time on my own, straight out of uni, desperate for work. I landed in woop woop, where I knew no one. Being young & single I found it easy to make friends and made memories that will last a lifetime. But I missed my family & friends in the big smoke & wanted to progress my career.
The second time I moved (a few years later) was for love. We made the decision to move, quit work, packed up the house & two weeks before we left found out we were having a baby. I was terrified of leaving my family & support network, especially with a baby on the way.
Luckily things have worked out really well. Three years down the track & we've made great friends, have a relaxed lifestyle, good jobs & have also welcomed baby number two. Moving can be scary and you do miss family & friends, but it can also be really wonderful experience.